I sat alone in the same park I'd sat in when I met Jordan, Joshua and Marcus. I wondered if they'd let me stay with them. They might, but they're mum wouldn't let me even look at there house.
Light splashes of rain hit the ground and I crawled under the slide for shelter. I'd figured out by now that mum was blaming me for all of this. When she hit me I was so shocked. She'd never hit me before. Shouted at me, grounded me, got angry with me yes but hit me? Never.
I didn't know what to do so had just walked away. I thought it best if maybe I just let her get it out of her system and in a few hours or so she'd let me back into the family.
So here I was. Sat under a slide in a park without anyone in the world. Except Julie. But I couldn't go back. At least not without Ayden. I wondered what mum and him were doing. It seemed he was her perfect little boy now whereas I was nothing to do with her. A distant memory fading by the minute.
The rain was gettting heavier now and the slide was incredibly thin meaning I had to crouch up in to a tiny ball to stay completely dry.
By the time it had stopped my joints had stiffened and it pained me to get out. I stretched my arms and legs hearing the painful cracks.
I started walking aimlessly not really knowing where I was going. Not that I had anywhere to go.
I sat on a swing not caring that my bum was now wet through. A couple walked by looking at me oddly. No wonder, it was almost two in the morning and a twelve year old girl was sat in the park on a swing after it had been raining with her hair in knots and tears stains all down her face and muck covering most of her arms.
During the night I'd had to sleep on the ground like when I'd first run away. But it was much worse. The ground cut into my skin making it uncomfortable to do anything. All the stones didn't help either. Moist seeped through my thin clothes from the rain. My warm coat had been left at Julie's.
I realized mum would probably be asleep now so I could sneak into the house and she'd be pleased to see me. Hopefully all her anger would have disappeared by now.
I made my way back shivering madly. When I reached our flat I tried the door gently not wanting it to make a sound. Luckily, it opened silently. Inside it was a tip. There was litter covering the floor like a sea. I had to wade my way through. Nappies and dirty wipes cluttered most of the seats.
I sighed deeply. The t.v was still on from whatever mum had been watching before so I decided to turn it off for her. Inside the kitchen was more overflowing rubbish. A mountain of washing filled the sideboard and another heap of clothes sat outside the washer.
Next I ventured to my room. Except it didn't look like my room anymore. None of my things were in my room anymore. My bed gone, drawers, wardrobe, toys, pictures, books and all the rest of my stuff.
Instead there was mounds of Ayden's clothes and even more of mum's. In a black bag in the corner was all the pictures of me and Ayden, me and mum even the ones of all three of us.
Mum really must've wanted me gone for good. Out of her life forever. I started wondering whether me coming back here was such a good idea.
Maybe if I used some of the clothes I would have a soft bed. I positioned a couple of tops in a pillow shape and took some more for a cover. I looked upon my purple coloured walls with the odd drawing here and there. Me and mum were gunna make it like a drawing wall where I could draw whatever I wanted whenever I felt like it. It would've looked beautiful if we'd ever finished it.
I scrambled around the floor getting out of my home made bed. If I could just find a pencil of something.
I walked to the the kitchen and opened one of the drawers. I pulled out the black permanent marker and made my way back to my old room. On the wall I drew Mum in her highs heeled boots and her strappy vest top putting detail into her facial expression. I wanted her to be happy so I drew a huge smile on her face. She was smiling so much her eyes were wrinkling at the sides.
Then I drew Ayden in her arms also smiling away. I drew him in his dungaree's with the trains on the front and a blue t-shirt underneath.
Then me. Holding mum's hand in my fanciest jeans and t-shirt looking up at them both. Underneath I wrote "The Webster family."
"What do you think your doing?" I gasped and fell over at the sound of mums voice.
She looked as mad as before. "Mum."
"Get out of my flat. How dare you draw on my walls of my house. My property." She said.
"Our flat mum. I'm your daughter you can't just abandon me." I told her shakily.
Her expression hardened, "Your are nothing to do with me. Did you not get the message earlier? 'Cos I can repeat it if you want."
It was her calmness that was scaring me. You could see she was angry but she was calm. Her voice and her body language just screamed calm but furious.
"Mum...I don't think your very well. Can we just maybe go to sleep and then see the doctor in the morning?" She couldn't be well at all to be acting like this.
I saw a change in her during the two seconds she thought about it. "Okay, you stay here. I'll see you in the morning. And we'll go to the doctors."
And she walked off. I stood staring in disbelief. I couldn't believe it. She just changed. Like another person had taken over her body.
The pen had rolled across the floor and was laid forgotten under neath a pile of clothes. I searched quickly for it and when I found it added a quick "xx" under the drawing on the wall.
Laying down facing the picture I slowly but surely fell asleep thinking everything was going to be okay.
*************************************
In the morning I could hear the t.v on. Mum was watching The Jeremy Kyle show. I shuffled in hoping mum could remember what happened last night. She was feeding Ayden and staring intently at the television.
"M-mum?"
Her head snapped towards me but only for a couple of seconds before turning back to the t.v.
"What?" I heard her ask me.
"Urm-can I have some breakfast?"
"Of course. Make mine too. I want a full English breakfast. We don't have any bacon or egg's or bread so you'll have to go to the shop."
"Huh?"
"You'll probably need money too. Don't know where you're gunna get that from though."
What was she talking about? I couldn't go to the shop. There wasn't one round here for almost a mile and a half. Besides I had absolutely no idea how to make a full English breakfast.
"B-but mum I don't know how to make a breakfast." I told her arkwardly.
"Learn."
I sniffed at her comment. Who knew she could turn so evil in such a short space of time. I vowed to myself that I would never end up like that. I would never be this cruel to my own kids.
Entering the kitchen I reached for a whisk, a large spoon, a big bowl and a pack of sausages. On the t.v I'd seen loads of breakfasts but not ever how to make one but I figured it couldn't be much different from making buns. After all they were all just baking.
An hour later I'd managed to cook the sausages so they were a browny colour and using the last slice of bread we had made a slice of toast. Like mum had said we had absolutely no bacon or eggs so I guessed she'd have to do without if she wasn't willing to give me the money.
I put it all on a plate nice and neat, then took it on a tray with a cup of coffee into my mum.
She looked down her nose at it and sniffed but not upset like I had but in disgust.
"What the f***'s this meant to be?" She snickered. I felt my mouth open widely. She never really swore directly at me.
"Urm this was the best English Breakfast I could do mum." I whimpered. The plate that had once been in my hands was not smashed while the food I'd made was splattered across the wall.
"I'm not hungry now. Clean that up." She told me looking back at the television.
My eyes watered but still I did what she asked. I knew one thing...I was not gunna put up with this for much longer.
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