Chapter Seven:
I slip my headphones in and stand watching the senior team practice. The sound of their cleats digging into the field, the way the wind flowed into the large stadium. We had been in London almost three weeks and I was waiting patiently for the season to start. It was three long weeks of ignoring my problems, focusing on school work and practice.
I watch Niall as he stands with the coach—his father. His stature hardens near him and I have learned over the weeks that they didn't get along very well. I wouldn't know much about anything because Niall had continued to ignore me. I have spoken to him three times since arriving other than that he avoided me like he would the the plague.
I wasn't even sure what I had done to upset him or if I had really done anything at all but still he wandered around me. He calls plays around me, avoids my eyes like I was something of the black lagoon. I bite my lip as I watch him work on things with his father trying my hardest not to stare.
I want the music to fill me but my head pounds so badly that I have to remove my headphones again. I sit down on the bench and put my phone away before rubbing my finger along my temple in anguish.
"Drink this," I look up to find Niall standing in front of me, a bottle of water extended out to me.
"I have my own," I pull out my own bottle from my bag that sat just underneath my feet. I was not about to let his boyish charm and fake sympathy fool me again. I had come to play football, finish school and not to be toyed around with him.
"You're still having headaches," he sits down next to me and looks out over the field. He's acting like he isn't speaking to me, so if people see he can justify himself later.
"They're just headaches."
I let the water drain my throat, it was cold but I almost swallow the whole bottle before I look at him again. He's gone cold and serious, more serious than before.
"Headaches that are bad enough to make you sit down because you are too unfocused and far too weak to stand?"
"They are none of your buisness," I start to pack my bag up, tossing my shoes into the black duffle.
"As your coach, and your friend they are my business."
"You are barely a friend," I snap at him. I stand walking away from him, I close my eyes and realize just how angry I was at him. My words are harsh and rude but I don't regret saying thiem. I didn't stay long enough to the see the look on his face when they left my lips.
I walk through the passages of London alone, taking in the difference of the streets. They were different good, wider and brighter, all the bricks reaching high into the clouds. Our first game is scheduled for the day after tomorrow.
4:50pm: Are you coming for the game on Friday?
5:02pm: Of course I am, wouldn't miss it.
I had texted Brad to remind him of the game but of course he remembered. He was to come down for it and I had missed him so badly I was shaking with excitement. It was weird not having with me all the time.
I have made a few friends, girls that I spend the days at school and on the field with. I had never imagined in a million years that here as I walked back to the dorms that I would be calling the streets of London my home. I wanted to remember everything, write it down in a notebook so even in old age I would remember everything just as it was today.
We were to have a team dinner that night, to celebrate the start of the season. I think about missing the dinner, rather sit in my room and finish the homework that piles high just before exams. I won't do that though, I will spend the night surrounded by new teammates and have dinner with them.
I finally make my way back to the dorms and shower, the warm water repelling all of my headache. I pull on a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt, simple was best with me.
"Sarah!" Lizzy's voice booms through the restaurant as I walked in the front door, my ears hearing her before my eyes had found her. She is a funny character, her smile is bigger then her face and her brown eyes big on such a tiny figure.
She was hilarious as well, everything that comes from her mouth was a great joke and she can make me laugh even when in an awful mood.
I look over to the see the coaches crowded into a booth by themselves. Niall sits at the end his hair is done up and he's dressed nicely in a grey sweater and jeans. He looks as good as he did the night he almost kissed me.
"He looks at you different ya know."
She nudges me and raises an eyebrow breaking my stare from him.
"That's because he hates me," I say under my breath, she just laughs at me and pinches my cheek like tiny child and her aunt.
"It's not hate Sarah," she stares at me know and it makes me uncomfortable enough to look down at the menu.
It doesn't last long before my eyes trail back up to Niall, this time his ice blue eyes were staring back at me through the dim lights. Three weeks of avoiding even the slightest eye contact and now, twice in one day? This was more attention than I want from him.
I wish I had continued to hate him, hate him like that day I met him. He was so ignorant and rude, pushy thinking he could have anything he wanted. Slowly as the weeks went on during May I had come to enjoy his antics and stupid manners.
I had come to expect his company but just like that he dropped it, dropped everything.
Dropped me.
"Order me a water?" I say to Lizzy before standing up from the table. I make my way to the back towards the restroom. The hallway is dimly lit and is lined with red fabrics and photos of celebrities that had eaten at the restaurant.
I was staring at a photo of Bono when I feel him come up behind me. His smell giving him away before he even speaks. I love the way he smells.
I turn to look at him against my better judgement, his hands are shoved in his pockets. He only did that when he was nervous, or anxious. "Talking to me twice in one day...whats the occasion Coach?"
I spit the word at him and he cringes at the sound.
"I get it, you're angry."
"Angry is not the word I would use, disappointed, forgotten, tossed aside." I say.
He steps forward into my personal space and I could feel myself biting my lip but if I stopped I was afraid I would cry right there in front of him. He sighs, taking one hand out of his pocket to nervously run it through his hair.
"Now is not the time," he says "meet me on the field after dinner?"
I just stand there staring at him but he doesn't move and neither do I.
"Please Sarah," he lets a grunt of frustration slip through his lips. "If you don't come tonight I'll leave you alone for good. I'll understand."
I look at him before pushing my way into the bathroom, leaving him behind in the hallway. I find an empty stall and sit down putting my head between my hands. My head is spinning from the recent headache that was still knocking at the base of my skull.
My thoughts were scrambled I can't decide if seeing him tonight was a good or bad idea. All I want is an explanation, but is it worth the hurt and pain that would come with it? I need a reason he just stopped talking to me, after getting that close, coming that far.
I had shared something with him that no one else ever got to share. Something that meant a lot to me but to him it was nothing, I was just damaged goods. Would this even be worth it?
I rinse my face with cool water and make my way back to the table, their voices ringing in the back of my head. I try to focus on anything but the blank glare of Niall into the back of my head but I can't, all I can think about is him.
Maybe not showing up would end this goose chase, this crazy distraction that Niall was putting me through. I eat what I order but I can't taste anything, the girls as me question after question but I barely answer them properly.
I was distracted again, I had never been so unfocused and my head was getting lazy with thoughts of Niall. Thoughts of what might come if I went to see him. I have a game tomorrow and the last thing I need is thoughts of sugar plums and Niall running through my head.
——-
I stand on the edge of the field just staring at him in silence, hoping he doesn't notice that I'm staring at him. Niall does circles on the turf, his feet swiftly moving the ball back and forth like water down a stream.
I could leave right now, end this and he would never know I came. My heart thumps in my chest because it doesn't want to leave it wants to crumble into his arms and forgive him for anything he's about to say.
My head, it doesn't know what it wants. It wants a reason, anything to explain why it was being mistreated. The loud pounding in my chest was clouding my judgement.
He stops and I know he sees me because he doesn't move.
His breath creates fog in the chill air and his hands are shaking at his sides. I want to scold him for wearing such little clothing on such a cold night but I don't.
"You came," He says quietly. I nod, still very on guard about everything. My mind is racing and I can't say a single word to him except for explain.
"Attached," he says, kicking the ball to me. I catch it under my foot like second nature before dropping my foot back to the ground. I came for the truth not a game of football.
"I became so attached to you in such a short time."
"You don't seem too attached Niall," I respond.
"I've been trying to stay away from you Sarah and it's the hardest damn things I've ever done in my life." He stops staring at me, staring at me like if he blinks I'll disappear. "Everytime I see you—Everytime I see you I go crazy, like I haven't seen you in months. I can't think about anything but you, and what I want to do to you, with you."
"Say it," I say so unsure about what I was even doing at this point. Why I was even entertaining the idea of us being, together.
He looks at me so confused, his eyes dark grey with regret and emptiness. He wasn't expecting the response I gave him, but it was the response he needed to continue. He moves closer towards me but not close enough.
"The first time I saw you was on tape, we were reviewing last years' cuts."
He starts and I listen intently as he moves closer still, his shoulder squaring up with mine. "They all said you weren't made for the sport, but Sarah I saw something they didn't."
"What?" I ask truly interested. All my sense were in overdrive now, I could feel him and he wasn't even touching me.
"I saw you, perfect, controlled, selfless with the ball." His eyes pan over my face and smile appears on his face for moment before disappearing again. I hadn't seen that smile in weeks, suddenly I missed it more than ever.
"I fell," he stops trying to find better words to use. "I fell for you so hard it was scary, it was scary because I knew I couldn't have you."
There's no more room for him to move forward, his breath is running down my neck and his nose is almost up against mine. "Then why get so close," I say quietly "why did you do that to me at the party?"
My feelings were boiling over and I was losing control of my thoughts and my body.
"I slipped, I shouldn't have done that knowing what position it would put us both in."
He was holding back now, you could see it in his stature and his hands. The way the shook at his side uncontrollably, I want to grab them—steady them but I fight the urge to do so and stand still.
"What position Niall?" I am the one to step forward this time, it takes him a second to adjust to how close we are.
"I'm a coach Sarah, you're a player. We aren't supposed to have relations."
"Then why the hell are we having this conversation?"
"Because I don't care," he says quickly. "I don't give a shit what people think. I can't wait any longer."
"Any longer for what?" I throw my arms into the arm in frustration, this conversation was nothing but an endless circle.
"For this," He moves so quickly I don't realize what he's doing, I lose my balance as he crashes into me. He steadies me with his hands as they wrap around my face holding it tight and close to his own.
His hands find a place around the back of my neck pulling me into him like a force, I cannot resist him. I had no time to react before his lips find mine, the warmth filling my jaw slowly and then all at once like a firecracker.
My stomach filled with butterflies and sparks, I spun in circles even though I was standing still. I part my lips inviting his tongue to wrap around mine as his hand falls down my side and around my thigh. He lifts me easily so my hips meet his above the ground but our balance is off and we crash to the ground.
I giggle as he rolls on top of me and pushed the hair that had fallen out of place back behind my ear. "We always did work better on the field."
I laugh and push my lips to his again stopping him from talking, I can feel his smile through my lips. I missed that smile.
"We can do this right?" I say to him breaking the kiss.
"We can do this." He laughs running his fingers to my jaw to bring me in for one last kiss before helping me off the ground.
**Hey guys! Crave You has been nominated in the 1D Watty Awards, crazy right?!! Voting has begun for the second round, what I need you to do is go on over to @kingsinbands profile and click on the book! Crave
Crave you is nominated in the Niall Horan category, you can vote using #a. Thank you to everyone that has and is continuing to read on about Sarah and Niall's lives! It means so much to me that you all have shown such great intrest in it! Please please go vote for Crave You in the awards! Love you guys**