"Phil's gay! Phil's gay! Phil likes boys!"
Phil could hear the other students mocking him.
"Guys, let's stay away from Phil, or else he will infect you too!"
Phil could feel tears threatening to fall.
He regretted telling his best friend that he preferred guys over girls. Because now, his so called best friend that he thought he could trust told the entire school.
"You're a freak, Phil. No one likes you now, because you're gay. Nobody likes gays!"
"Stop it! Stop, stop, stop it!" Phil cried out, wishing all this madness would stop.
Nobody likes gays...Nobody likes gays.
Phil opened his eyes, his breathing was unnaturally fast and his heart was pacing.
"This is just a dream, this is just a dream." Phil muttered repeatedly to himself, trying to steady his breathing.
Phil always suspected that he was gay, but he never dared to tell anyone, in fear of being judged or hated.
And that horrible nightmare proved it all.
"I can't be gay. I'm not gay. Just because I never liked girls and I always found guys cuter doesn't mean that I'm gay. I absolutely cannot be gay." Phil told himself, clutching his bedsheets.
Suddenly, Phil felt very disorientated.
Since when were his bedsheets like this?
He looked around frantically and realized that he was in an unknown room.
Where were his posters? What happened to his room?
Phil shakily stood up.
Wait...why did he seem taller?
Walking over to a full length mirror leaning against the wall, Phil looked into it and screamed.
"I...I'm...OLD!"
Suddenly, a guy Phil didn't know burst into the room.
"Phil, why are you screaming at 4am in the morning?"
"I...I don't know you. Why am I here? Why am I so old?" Phil was freaking out by now.
But it was normal for him to be like this, because if you fell asleep as a 15 year old and woke up as a 28 year old, why wouldn't you be screaming?
Phil's mind was all muddled up and he was hyperventilating.
He did not understand what was happening, he was very sure that he was 15 yesterday, so how did time pass by so fast? Did he fall asleep for a few years or was he sucked into some wormhole and transported to this dimension?
"Alright, Phil, calm down." The guy who came into Phil's "room" rubbed his back.
Phil took a deep breath and looked at the brown hair and brown eyed "stranger".
"Who...who are you? Heck, I'm not even sure if I know who I am anymore." Phil rubbed his eyes and shut his eyelids, telling himself not to cry.
"Shhh, shhhh. Don't cry Phil, it's fine. I think you just have slight amnesia or something. But um who exactly do you think you are right now?"
Phil swallowed uncomfortably, "I-I'm Philip Michael Lester."
The boy nodded, "Your age?"
Phil grew even more uncomfortable, like he was in class and he wasn't so sure about the answer but the teacher asked him anyways.
"15...?" Phil shakily replied and the boy widened his eyes.
"Ph-Phil, are you sure you're not shitting on me right now? You're 28 not 15."
"I'm...28? But I'm 15, I'm sure I'm 15! I'm absolutely sure that I've never graduated college before!"
Now Phil really felt like crying, he did not know what was happening and he did not like it one bit.
"You...you don't remember me eith-either?" The boy shakily asked and Phil slowly shook my head.
A part of Phil felt like he should know him but no matter how deep Phil dug through his brain, he couldn't recover anything.
It was more like his memory was kept in a chest that could not be opened.
The boy bit his lip, "Well I'm Daniel James Howell, but people call me Dan. I'm 24 and I have been your best friend for 6 years. We-well...and boyfriend for 1 year and 2 months."
Phil gasped, "B-boyfriend?"
The guy, Dan, nodded his head, "You really don't remember..."
"I'm not gay! No way! I can't be! This must be a misunderstanding, I...I..."
Phil couldn't hold it back anymore and let loose his torrent of tears.
He couldn't be gay, he couldn't have a boyfriend. Everyone would judge him.
Nobody likes gays
~~~
Dan was very worried about Phil.
So apparently, Phil went to bed as a 28 year old and woke up as a 15 year old, with almost all his memories forgotten.
Dan sighed loudly, running his fingers through his hair.
"Goodnight babe." Dan kissed Phil's lips and smiled.
"Night, don't stay up till 3am again, alright?" Phil laughed and Dan rolled his eyes.
"No promises." Dan giggled as he walked into his room.
Was that the last time he would ever have Phil as his boyfriend for? Would they even still be able to remain friends?
Dan felt like screaming. He didn't like how his caring boyfriend got taken away from him in just a night and got turned into a homophobic teenager.
Dan silently swore to himself that no matter what happens, he would get his Phil back.
And he would do whatever it takes.
~~~
"Did you hit your head recently or fall off anything?"
Dan had brought Phil to the doctors, hoping that they could cure him and find out what happened.
"N-no..." Phil mumbled.
"I'm sorry, but we really have no idea. If you just went to sleep like any normal night, there is so explanation for why you would wake up with your memories gone."
Phil felt like crying again, but his eyes were sore and sick of crying.
Phil was hoping that this was some prank or a dream but it was real apparently.
Dan's eyes were sore and puffy too. Not mostly from the fact that his boyfriend had lost his memory but more from the fact that his boyfriend didn't even want to be his boyfriend.
"So you can't find a cure or anything?" Dan's voice cracked and the doctor looked at him pitifully.
"I'm sorry but no. However, we will be doing some research and if we find anything, we'll get back to you. This is the first case we ever got of this, that's why."
"Alright, thank you." The boys stood up and left the clinic.
The ride home was so awkward that awkward was practically oozing out of the car windows.
Dan was driving as Phil was "15" now and "underage".
Eventually they reached their apartment and Phil bolted upstairs without even acknowledging Dan and quickly closed his door.
"I don't know what to do. My mind tells me that I can't be gay but my heart tells me otherwise." Phil thought to himself and cupped his head in his hands.
Dan trudged up the stairs. He badly needed a cuddle but his boyfriend that he could always cuddle wasn't even his boyfriend now.
But Dan is going to make sure Phil gets his memories back and remembers him for real.
~~~
Phil was lying on his bed, blasting music through his earphones, trying to drown out his thoughts, but this time, his thoughts were louder then ever.
Who will save me now
Phil didn't understand why this happened to him. Did he do something wrong in the past? Was that why this madness came to him?
Dive in when I'm down
Phil didn't like the fact that he apparently was gay too. He always tried to avoid it, what happened then?
Save me from myself
Dan. Dan. Dan. Dan. That boy was etched in his head, like a fuzzy memory that he could not forget but could not remember at the same time. It was frustrating.
Don't let me drown
~~~
"Phil, wake up. I need to show you something."
Phil felt himself being shook and woke up, startled to find himself in a new surrounding.
Oh. It wasn't a dream, everything that happened was real.
Dan was stood at Phil's bedside, his hand on his bare shoulder.
"Oh, um s-sorry." Dan whispered, quickly withdrawing his hand from Phil's shoulder in embarrassment.
"I just uh...I wanted to show you something." Dan rocked on his heels, fiddling with his thumbs.
"Sure, just let me get changed first I guess." Phil warily replied, wondering what that boy wanted. He hoped that Dan wouldn't want to talk to him about the boyfriend thing though, that was awkward for Phil.
After changing and getting ready, Dan asked Phil to follow him somewhere.
"Wh-where are we going?" Phil nervously asked.
"I just want to show you something, I swear." Dan replied, beckoning Phil to be faster.
Eventually the reached the destination that Dan wanted them to go to. Starbucks.
"You woke me up this early and brought us all the way here for Starbucks?" Phil wondered if Dan was delirious.
There was a Starbucks closer to the apartment, so why this one?
Dan, however, didn't reply and just lead Phil inside and to the upper area of the shop.
"Do you remember?" Dan looked at Phil with a hopeful glint in his eye.
"Remember what? I don't get it." Phil bit his lip.
Was he supposed to know? Was this an important part of his life?
The hopeful look in Dan's eyes dropped and got replaced with dismay.
This place definitely meant a lot to Dan and it probably meant a lot to 28 year old Phil too, but 15 year old Phil didn't get it.
"This was the Starbucks where we first went on our first date." Dan said, his voice barely a whisper.
Lifting up one of the tables slightly, Dan sadly laughed.
Underneath the table, was written in sharpie that was quickly fading away, "Dan is a waffly twat" and beside it was "But you love me anyways" with a heart and smiley face.
Phil took a sudden step back. He felt like he got punched in the chest.
"I...I have to go..." Phil muttered, running out of Starbucks.
"Phil wait!" Dan cried out but Phil was already running off to who knows where.
Phil's heart was thumping wildly in his chest. His breaths were about as all over the place as his thoughts and feelings were.
Collapsing on the grass, Phil buried his head in his body and cried.
"Ph...Phi-Phil." Phil heard panting and he tried to bury his head in deeper to his body.
He tried to ask Dan to go away, but his sobs kept getting in the way of his words. He didn't think Dan would even go away anyway if he asked.
Dan sat down on the grass next to him and sighed loudly.
"I don't understand, Phil. Why did you run away? Do you hate me that much? You used to love me Philly, you used to cuddle me all the time and try to sneak into bed with me. Now this shit storm happened."
Phil could almost hear Dan's heart breaking, along with every word he said.
"I ran away because...b-because I remembered alright? What you showed me, it...it gave me a vision of what happened that year. You were wearing a red flannel over a white top and black jeans of course. You look...you look g-good in flannels, you should wear it more." Phil added the last bit in barely audibly.
"We both got caramel macchiatos. You...you said something stupidly funny and I...t-took out a sharpie and wrote "Dan is a waffly twat" under the table, and you laughed before adding something else to it. Then you drew a line on my face and I shrieked, so you...you added more lines and changed it to cat whiskers. Everyone thought we were mental." Phil's mouth twitched upwards slightly.
Dan ran his hands through his hair, not believing that Phil actually remembered, "So why'd you run away from me then? Why are you crying?"
"Because I can't! I can't be gay! Everyone would hate me..." Phil's cries got louder.
"Not everyone would hate you, Phil. I definitely won't hate you, your family won't hate you, and many of your friends would be accepting, you have no idea. It's just some idiotic sporks that are ignorant twits and deserve to be anally sodomized by a million cactuses all at once." Dan smiled, reassuring Phil and he let out a small laugh.
"Really?" Phil looked up at Dan with tears in his eyes.
"Really. I promise." Dan smiled.
Phil sighed softly and leaned his head on Dan's shoulder, "I'm glad I met you. I don't remember much about it, but I'll try to."
Dan's smile grew wider, "I'll help you remember too. I'll tell you everything about us to help you regain your memory. To help get Phil back."
"I want to be 28 again...you'll help me remember?" Phil breathed in Dan's scent.
"Yes, I'll help you remember." Dan promised.