Bella's POV
I woke up the next day, not really feeling like going to school--but who is? I had to get up though. People probably new about the breakup by now. I hadn't changed my status to 'single' yet because it never really came to mind. I shouldn't change it though. I'm gonna give Sam a chance to come to his senses.
I got ready for school, trying my best to look decent and not like i've been crying all night long. I put on a lacy red shirt with my dark wash shorts and my red sandals. I straightened my hair today and put on sunglasses. My eyes were so puffy and red from crying. I couldn't let people see me like this.
I grabbed a granola bar from the bowl in the middle of the counter and headed out the door. I was late for school but i actually was glad to be late. At least no one would see me in the halls. I could do cartwheels if i wanted to...but now's not exactly the best time to celebrate.
I got my books from my locker and went to class, still wearing my sunglasses. I probably looked stupid wearing them in school, but who cares? I don't need to look pretty for anyone anymore.
"Ms. Moronno, you are late." my teacher said.
"I know. Sorry. I had troubles getting here."
"Just don't let it happen again. Take a seat." he gestured to my chair.
I sat down and looked across the room. Sam sat by the window today. He usually sat by me. I miss the times where he would throw crumpled pieces of paper at me with secret notes on them. I miss how he would pretend to drop his pencil just so he could lean over and tell me that he loves me. But what i missed the most was when he would sneak up behind me, cover my eyes, and give me a huge kiss on the lips.
I would do anything to just be in his arms one last time.
I could feel Sam's eyes on me. When I turned my head, he quickly looked away. I thought of his cruel words last night. Is it true that he doesn't love me anymore?
I don't care. I still love him and that's all that matters. If only he had listened to me. Maybe everything would've been okay.
In class today, we had to present our short essays. Since this was Spanish class, we had to say it in Spanish. The topic was 'If I could go back in time, I would..." and we would have to finish the sentence.
A girl named Jessica went first.
She cleared her throat and said, "Si pudiera volver atrás en el tiempo, sería cuando mi hamster mascota seguía vivo."
(If I could go back in time, it would when my pet hamster was still alive.)
The class applauded and then went silent again. Another girl named Skylar went next.
"Si pudiera volver atrás en el tiempo, yo no he tenido relaciones sexuales con Toby."
(If I could go back in time, I wouldn't have had sex with Toby.)
I forgot to mention--she's a major slut.
The teacher looked mortified but didn't say anything about it. She skipped back to her seat and acted like what she just said wasn't traumatizing to the rest of us.
It was Jarrad's turn.
"Si pudiera volver atrás en el tiempo, que cambiaría el hecho de que yo besé otra muchachos novia en mi fiesta."
(If I could go back in time, I would change the fact that I kissed another guys girlfriend at my party.)
Ohmigod! Is he seriously talking about me?!? I looked at Sam. He gave me a disgusted look and turned away. I felt horrible...and embarrassed. Everyone knew that it was me.
Tyler, a strong football player, was called on next.
"Si pudiera volver atrás en el tiempo, me gustaría ir de nuevo a cuando me robaron mis hermanos flamante moto y tiré a un lado de un edificio."
(If I could go back in time, I would go back to when I stole my brothers brand new scooter and chucked it off the side of a building.)
Everyone laughed...well, except for me and Sam. "It's not funny you guys. I got in serious trouble!" Tyler exclaimed.
He returned to his seat and called on Kian. Kian stood up and walked towards the front of the room.
"Si pudiera volver atrás en el tiempo, me he comprado el ponche de frutas en lugar de Arizona Mucho té Arizona mango."
(If I could go back in time, I would've bought fruit punch Arizona instead of mucho mango Arizona tea.)
We all laughed, even me. Kian is so stupid sometimes.
"Well, thank you Mr. Lawley for your concern of the taste buds. Please take a seat." the teacher said.
About 10 other people went before the teacher called on Sam.
He stepped forward and began his report. This could be his chance to make it up to me. I payed close attention.
"Si pudiera volver atrás en el tiempo, no habría sido tan estúpido" here it comes! I thought, he's gonna apologize! " y accidentalmente rompió 3 de mis dedos."
(If I could go back in time, I would not have been so stupid and accidentally broke three of my fingers.)
I let out a loud sigh. I thought he was going to say that he was stupid to break up with me! This is outrageous!
"Bella, it's your turn." the teacher called after me.
I stomped up to the front of the classroom and made up a new report.
"Si pudiera volver atrás en el tiempo, no me he mudado a California!"
(If I could go back in time, I wouldn't have moved to California!)
But then I took it a step further.
"Tanta mala mierda me pasa aquí! No puedo soportarlo! Los hombres están tan sobrevalorados. Tome notas de las señoras!"
(So much bad shit happens to me here! I just can't take it! Men are so overrated. Take notes ladies!)
"Okay, uh, that's enough Bella--"
"NO!" I roared. "I'm so done with this place! I hate it here! Both of my parents live in a different state with my oh-so perfect sister, my friends think i'm a whore, and my boyfriend, excuse me, ex-boyfriend is a jerk!"
Sam's head shot up. He opened his mouth but didn't say anything. I really wanted him to though. Maybe it would help.
"C'mon Sam! Don't you have anything to say?'' I asked with fury.
"Uh..."
"Just spit it out! Tell everyone how you don't love me and how you think I'm just a stupid bitch and don't want anything to do with me!" I waited. "TELL THEM!"
"I'm not gonna say that." he said.
"And why not? You made it clear yesterday!"
"No, I didn't!"
"Yes. You. Did!" I stormed out of there. Surprisingly, no one tried to stop me.
I ran home. Not only are boys overrated, but school is too!
Once I got home, I called Aaliyah. If anyone could tell me it's gonna be alright, it's her.
"Hello?"
"Uh, hey. Is this Aaliyah?"
"Yeah. Is this Bella?"
"Yup. But I bet you already knew that."
"I did, but I try to keep my psychic powers on the DL." she said.
I wanted to laugh, but couldn't.
"So, Sam dropped the bomb, didn't he?" she said.
"Yup. Dropped it pretty hard if I do say so myself."
"I'm so sorry Bella! I wish this could happen to anyone but you! If only there was something I could do." Aaliyah said.
"Well, I do need a friend. Wanna come to California early?"
"I wish. My plane tickets are booked for next month. Sorry."
"It's okay. I guess I'll just be here; alone with my 37 cats."
She giggled. "I didn't know you had a cat."
"I don't, but I wish I did."
"Honestly Bella, it's gonna get a lot better. Trust me."
"How long will it take?"
"If i tell you, you're gonna freak out on me."
"I won't, I promise!"
"Besides, I bent my rules for you once, I don't think I should do it again."
I was silent for a second.
"Please don't be mad at me! You're my only friend and--"
"Why would I be mad at you?"
"Well, I won't tell you something. Aren't you mad?"
"No. I totally respect your boundaries. If I were you, I'd do the same thing."
"Thanks."
"Anytime. Hey, I gotta go. But i'll call you later, okay?"
"Kay. Good luck! Don't cry! It's gonna be alright."
"Thanks Aaliyah. You're the best."
and we hung up.
I didn't exactly listen to Aaliyah though. I kinda cried...
A lot.
I called Jc and Connor. They've always been there for me. I haven't talked to them in awhile anyways. I called Connor then Jc. They both said they would be over as soon as they can.
I looked out the window. It was starting to rain. It was really pretty though because it was still sunny outside. That means there's gonna be a rainbow.
In just 2 minutes, it was down pouring with rain. Times like this reminded me of Sam. If he were here with me, he would beg me to run outside in the rain with him. Once, when he asked me what I wanted most, I said that I wanted to kiss him in the rain just like they did in The Notebook.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
By the way, if you haven't seen The Notebook, go watch it right now. It's the cutest movie ever! I cried.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wait. I don't need Sam right now...well, i need him for the kissing part, but i can dance in the rain by myself. I ran outside.
But once I got out there, i wasn't filled with joy. I was filled with hurt and sadness. I looked to my left and could've sworn i saw Sam. I squinted. It really was Sam. I walked towards him, dripping wet, but then I saw that he wasn't wet at all. When I was only inches from him, i reached my hand out and tried to touch him, but he hand went right through his body. Sam's not really here. I'm just hallucinating. Great! Now I'm a psycho!
When I thought I had seen Sam, it made me realize that I need Sam in my life. I can't live without him. I really can't. I started crying. I started sobbing actually. I dropped to my knees and screamed to the sky. Luckily, no one was outside.
"IS THIS WHAT I GET FOR FALLING IN LOVE?!?" i screamed to the sky.
"WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE A LIFE AS SCREWED UP AS MINE?!? WHY?!?!?"
"IS THIS PUNISHMENT FOR KISSING JARRAD? I DIDN'T EVEN KISS HIM! HE KISSED ME! WHY CAN'T SAM JUST LISTEN TO ME? JUST THIS ONCE!"
"I HATE YOU SAM! I HATE YOU SO, SO MUCH!" i bowed down to the ground. my face planted into the wet grass. "AND YET... I can't stop loving you."
I was crying as hard as i had ever cried before. I was tempted to get inside but i couldn't move. The ground was my only friend right now. My clothes and body was all muddy but i didn't care. Like i had said earlier; there's no one to impress anymore.
Just when I thought I had lost all hope, a car pulled into my driveway. I thought it was Jc or Connor but when i looked closer, it was them.
It was my mom.
And Lilly.
My mom ran towards me. She got me off the ground and hugged me like crazy.
"Oh, honey! What's wrong baby??"
"Mommie..." I couldn't even finish my sentence. I just hugged her tightly.
"C'mon honey, let's get you inside." She wrapped her arm around me and tried to pull me in the house but i refused.
"No mom. The rain feels good out here."
"Honey, you're gonna catch a cold."
"I don't give a crap about the flu! It's a whole hell of a lot better feeling then the ones i've been going through lately." I argued.
"Baby--"
"No! Just...go inside. I'll come in later."
"Hi Bella." Lilly said as my mom helped her out of the car.
"I would hug you to death, but I bet you don't wanna get dirty."
"You're right. Clean yourself up and i'll hug you." she giggled.
"That's gonna be awhile." I said honestly.
"Whenever you're ready." Lilly said as her and mom walked into the house.
"Mom?" I called right before she closed the door.
She opened it back up. "Yes?"
"I love you."
She smiled. "I love you too."