A month later . . .
The marriage went on just perfect and the couple had enjoyed their entire ride through out the rituals. With all the limelight and pampering from both the families the bride and the groom were showered with love and care and gifts, of-course. Payal had left her home, parents and her surname as well. She was now in Nishant's house, well happy, obviously. Nishant had become slightly busy than he was before, on turning to be a family man. He was happily getting adjusted to the new development in his life. Everything had fallen into place for them.
Tanmay had not left back to where ever he had come from. He had moved to Bangalore and I had never even tried to meet him post the marriage. The only rendezvous was on his arrival, at the wedding, nothing post that.Days had passed,I was stuck to where I was before.
I sat in my room checking a mail from Andy. It had the details of an upcoming event at the Delhi University. Work was the only thing I wanted to invest myself in. Every other entity in life, be it feelings or people themselves, proved to be too costly to afford.
"Yes, Mom come in," I heard my mom knock the door out.
"Can I get a chance to speak completely?" She seemed frustrated. I closed the lid of my laptop and sat listening to her.
"What have you become today? Where is that side of you which the world liked? Why have you killed yourself?" I could sense the shiver in her voice as she spoke slightly more than her usual decibel.
"Mom, calm down. I am listening today," I tried soothing her. She was obviously worried with the way I was handling things. I had stopped going out anywhere, Nishant getting busy only gave me chances to stay at my house. I had disconnected myself from the entire world.
"Answer," she yelled. I froze at the pitch of her voice.
"Mom, I would sincerely request you to calm down," I moved out of the bed.
"For how long do you decide to stay in the shell? It is dark inside. Go fetch the light out, trust me you will see colors in your life," the philosophical side of my mom was out.
"I am not rejoicing in the darkness Maa, it is scorching bright outside and I know I can barely see the world if I step out of the shell, I am not ready yet," I dropped my head.
"Your conscience knows you are at fault, see the way your head dropped," she mocked.
"I don't have enough strength to take in anything, why don't you understand that?" I questioned back.
"I understand, the point is I understand more than what you know. You do not stop eating just because your right hand is broken, you will have to learn to use the other one. That is how you grow. How many have you heard who have stood up strong and fought their battles and strived for victory? Very less. All we get to hear is how people perish. I don't believe my son is so weak that he falls into the second category," her words were bolts of fire.
"My zone of silence gives me strength. That is how I know to discover myself and pull myself up, I am trying Maa," my voice quivered and my eyes welled up.
"It is how the world functions, what you think would stay forever may vanish in a blink of an eye, but you cannot stop. She left, you know nothing of her, she has not tried even a bit. Do you really feel it worth to moan in her absence even now?" I looked up at her slightly furious.
"I know, love is such a thing. It is tough to think of someone else when that person is all you have wanted from the start, but.."
"Mom," I stopped her. I could not hear any word more. Not that she spoke something offensive. It was just that my heart was not ready to believe she had gone. Yes, there were times I had told myself that she was gone, but deep down there was a small kindle of flame that always said I was wrong.
"What do you want me to do?" I wanted to end this discussion and listen to her.
"Move ahead, in the wait of someone obsolete you may miss out on the right one. I had asked you a few months back to meet Mathur's daughter, consider it. Give it a try. Before trying do not judge, if you still feel a no after you meet, it is your call. I promise!" I sighed to her in return.
"Fine, I am leaving to Delhi in fifteen days for an event at the DU,"
"Perfect! She studies there," my mom jumped out of joy even before I could complete.
"But this will be the last try, you have to second your own words," she nodded her head and turned to move out.
"What is her name? It is weird to address her the way you do," I opened the laptop and my mom chuckled.
"Anjali Mathur," she smiled. I had no expression as I heard her name.
It was almost seven in the evening and I was listening to music. The event at Delhi was not a small one. This was more like a platform for all the event organisers around to take part. A contest kind of thing precisely. Andy had compelled me to take part in this because he had seen a winner in me, quoting his own words. This was the first ever time one such event was happening. The details were pretty brief. Andy had told me not to worry. I bet he knew what it was all about. My phone rang and disturbed the silence in the room.
"Yes, Payal...yes, I am alive. How have you been?...that's great, oh is it...no no, not busy, I was.. Anyway leave that..now? Okay, I will be there in half an hour.. No I won't ditch it this time, I promise..sure," I hung the call and got up to get ready. They both were going put for a dinner and they wanted me to join, rather insisted me to join.
I reached the restaurant by half past eight and went in to see Payal glowing and beaming with happiness. She jumped as I reached the table go give a hug. I then turned to Nishant who landed a punch on my tummy as a trade mark. I smiled and occupied the chair that was empty. General talks happened and I teased the two of them, things went on fine.
"Mom had called me Mayank," Nishant said and I turned to him.
"She is worried about you," he placed his hand on mine.
"Did she tell you everything?" I asked.
"Yes, she did mention Mathur uncle's daughter," he nodded his head. I rolled my eyes and sat folding my hands.
"So what have you thought?" Payal asked.
"She wants me to meet her once and if I still tell a no, she would not bring it up ever. So," I paused.
"So you are going to meet her and tell a 'no' even though she is good. Right?" I gave a smile to her question as an answer.
There was a silence for a while and I broke it.
"So, how is Tanmay, I heard he has not moved back to.." I did not know where he had come from.
"Delhi," Nishant completed the line. "That is the reason why I did not want you to go to Delhi then," I raised my brow and formed an 'o' in return.
"He is hunting for a job and a place to live here. He came up to me the other day to discuss about it," Nishant said.
I thought for a while and handed a card to Nishant.
"Give this to him, and ask him to meet the guy this Wednesday. I will talk to him tomorrow and get things ready. He has a job to offer and a place to stay as well, that should definitely help him. Keep the card," I gave it to him.
"You are just insane Mayank," Payal seemed not happy.
"You are not ready to move on, are you?" She intrigued.
"It is not about moving on. I have. It is just that I don't see a point of letting someone else come into life. Yes I may not be the way I was before, but I have not stopped. That is the point I wanted mom to understand. Aarti might be happy wherever she is, but somewhere deep down, the faith I had in her still persists," I saw Payal raise her hands and she went speechless.
"Okay, close of the topic. I am not giving anything to Tanmay, now first let's leave," Nishant paid the bill and we moved out to the car.
"Please give this to him, it will be of great help to him," I insisted.
"You meet him, you give him. He ain't doing anything of that sort," Payal was miffed with the conversation that had happened inside.
"Fine, call him anywhere and I will meet him," I blurted.
There was silence for a while again and we moved out finally. I reached home and fell flat on bed. Sleep was the best way to escape from all the things happening.
The next day I left to our college. I had to meet Tanmay. I had informed Nishant to be there as well.
He was uncertain of the meet and somewhere deep down I wanted to meet to get to know alot of things.
"Are you sure? We can still get back home," Nishant sulked as we waited at the basket ball court for Tanmay to arrive. I looked at him and he stayed silent. Fifteen minutes later, I could see Tanmay walk towards the court. The closer he got, nervousness in me grew. I was afraid of the conversation that was going to happen and the different shape it could take, was very hard to even imagine.
"And there he comes," I sat down whispering it to Nishant and he stood up. He greeted him with a hug and there was a genuine smile on Tanmay's face.
"How is Payal, bro? I expected her to be here as well," he sat on the steps without looking at me. I did not make an effort to talk as well.
"Yes, she is fine. She had work at home, you know how it is post marriage," Nishant trailed.
"So he not going to talk even now, I presume" Tanmay said it loud enough so that I could hear. I pursed my lips and looked in the opposite direction.
"If it were only you and I, we could have met else where. I don't see the need for people who are not interested to be around," every single word of his was getting me irked. I was now grinding my teeth, burning with fury.
"Things can never get to normal, even after all that has happened, humility is not seen," that set the kindle inside to a forest fire, I rushed to where he sat and pinned him down. His head hit the step quite hard, Nishant pulled me back.
"Do not utter a word, when you know nothing," for the first time ever, after years I had spoken to him face to face.
"Both of you, stop it," Nishant pushed me back on to the steps and I sat with a thud. Tanmay sat straight rubbing his head.
"I really don't see the necessity for this anger, Mayank" I stared at Tanmay as he spoke. Plenty of questions were bubbling inside my head. I would fume out in a while if I had stuffed those questions within.
"Is it? I am amazed to see how you stay as though nothing has really happened. My life has taken over a toll and do you even realise it? And I don't think you would even want to talk regarding that, do you?" Tanmay sat there looking at me, spell bound.
"I agree I was not by your side when aunt passed away, that regret will have its death only with me in my grave. There has not been a single moment when I have not repented for the same. She was a mother to me as well, if you knew. The way you reacted in the hospital shattered things for me then," he stood up as I spoke.
"Where were you when I needed you the most Mayank? What had kept you busy? You were too much engrossed with the new colours your life was adapting to. You were doomed in the power you had. Your responsibilities had blinded you. I was not jealous that you were busy with some thing, I just missed you and the sad part was I kept missing you and you did not seem to bother much," I could not take in his side of the story.
"If I remember right, Aryan who came in between us brought the gap. I had work, I was busy but I had not distanced myself from Nishanth, had I? Aryan never liked me much, we never got along. I, getting busy with work and getting less time was properly utilized by him, I am hurt that you actually gave heed to what all he had to tell about me to you," my anger had reached its pinnacle.
"Okay, I might have got influenced, but where was your mind lost? Couldn't you come and confront?" He questioned
"Would you even listen to me had I come confronting? It is easy to tell now. Back then you were not in this mind frame Tani,"
"Don't call me that, you still have not got the rights to do so," he stopped me.
"And, that was the reason why you were angry, that was the reason why you said you did not want to see my face! Are you serious?" I questioned.
"Can you both shut up, it is in the past. Do we really have to waste time in discussing that?" Nishant asked.
"Yes, Nishant. There is something I wanted to ask," Tanmay answered. I was surprised. I believed I was the one who had questions to ask. The sky had turned amber red. I sat there waiting for him to question.
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Mynote : happy reading!