I roll over in my bed, squinting my eyes as the sun streams through my curtains. My head slightly pounds as I sit up, reminding me of last nights drinking game with Liz. Checking the time on my phone ignoring the voicemails and missed calls, I wonder why Liz wasn't in the kitchen banging pans around like she usually was at noon. I fall back into bed and stare at my ceiling, only the heater running to be heard. It's been six days since I last saw George, almost a week. He calls but I don't bother to answer or listen to his voicemails, and his text messages get deleted instantly. I didn't want to be another oblivious girl in his game he was playing. Apparently Gia was not capable of having a normal relationship with a guy. Jake was my second boyfriend, my first was in high school back in Texas. Brandon was his name. Brandon was a quiet transfer student but every girl had a crush on him. He was so sweet, he liked underground indie bands and cars. He cheated on me with some girl who liked the same bands as him, finding her more interesting than quiet little Gia. She had short black hair, and she was very tall. The look she had and the way she dressed proved her much more mysterious, the cigarettes snuck after lunch behind the gym proved her much more rebellious. I'm just not interesting enough. Now Jake, he treated me like I was perfect, but in reality he didn't care what I thought or what my favorite color was or how I think eating meat is gross, he just wanted me to be his trophy girlfriend.
My attention turns to my phone, an unknown number flashing on the screen, me considering whether to answer or not. I reluctantly answer, an automated machine on the other line warning me this conversation is being recorded. I quickly sit up at the sound of shuffling on the other line then finally a raspy voice breaks the silence.
"Giovanna, I'm so happy you picked up."
My stomach turns, and I try to hold back the burning in my throat rising.
"Jake?"
"Yeah. God, I've missed your voice. I'm so sorry this all happened. I still love you."
I can't bring myself to open my mouth. Too many thoughts flooded my mind and my mouth can't process what to say first.
"Baby, I know you're upset, but I might be getting out soon. My brother is helping pay my bail, and we can start over. I promise it'll be different."
Tears threaten to fall as I think about him being in my life again. Countless times I've heard him ramble on about how things will change, be different, but nothing ever did except for how many bruises he left.
"Gia, answer me please."
Before a whimper escapes from me I quickly hang up and throw my phone at the wall forcefully. It was all too much. Hearing Jakes voice again, telling me he's going to be out soon. The fear of him finding me again. George toying with my emotions. I just wanted something stable in my life. I gather myself for a second, wiping my tears, then pushing myself up to see the damage to my phone. I laugh to myself humorlessly seeing the screen completely shattered, chunks of it missing.
After messing with it for awhile and deciding it's still useable, I open my door and look for Liz in her room. She's no where to be found until I come across a note she left on the kitchen counter.
"Last minute lunch date with my dad. I left you a salad in the fridge love you gi xx"
Smiling to myself, I check the fridge, a white bowl of salad calling my name. I grab a fork and dressing, making my way to the living room couch. I turn the channel to MTV, the show that was on immediately jumping to a woman holding a microphone with the MTV logo on it. She smiles as she introduces herself. I take a bite of tomato from my salad then reach for the remote until the words, "The 1975 are here with us today." leave her mouth.
I turn up the volume quickly then freeze once the camera pans into view of all four guys grinning. The hostess stands in between Matty and George, Ross and Adam on the outside of each of them.
"So tell me about your new EP coming out."
Matty speaks first, rambling how it ties all the other EP's together, and how it's going to lead into their new full length album. Ross makes a joke about how Matty is so insightful, making the others laugh. Adam speaks up, revealing the name IV for their EP.
"And you're debuting this EP live tonight right?"
The guys nod, George speaking up now, "Tonight at The Ruby Lounge." He grins then waves along with the other guys as the camera pans out, the host repeating the time. I switch off the tv as their voices fade, only music to be heard, the host obviously flirting with all of them. My appetite disappears when I remember Ross invited us to that show. Liz and Emmie would never let me back out, and if I did, they would too, but I didn't want to take this away from them.
My phone vibrates and I carefully pull it out of my sweats pocket. I swipe to answer but a piece of glass cuts my thumb. Shit.
"Sorry Gigi, did I wake you?"
"Oh, no Ems. I'm fine." I place my thumb in my mouth after taking the shard out, the taste of blood grossing me out.
"Okay so please tell me you were watching the guys on the telly just now!"
"Um, yeah."
"Please tell me we are going!"
I test out to see if my assumption is right,
"All this George stuff, I dunno."
"Oh yeah," she sounds less enthusiastic, "We don't have to go Gigi."
I sigh, "I'm only going for the sake of you and Liz."
This whole thing was making me so anxious I felt sick. Not being able to find something to wear didn't help either. What do you even wear to a show knowing the guy who uses you is playing?
"Something sexy, Gia." Liz pops into my room. I fell like sometimes she can read my mind.
"I don't own anything, sexy." That word makes me cringe.
"Please let me be your stylist for tonight," Liz begs, grabbing me by the shoulders.
I glare at her, "Easy on the makeup and hair. No funny business."
She jumps with excitement then leads me to her room. After about thirty minutes of Liz curling my hair, she pulls me to the bathroom, sitting me on the toilet to do my makeup.
"I swear Elizabeth, if you make me look like I tried too hard, I will kill you."
"Giovanna, I know what I'm doing," She laughs, lightly tapping a shade of light brown onto her eyeshadow brush. I slightly shiver, the thought of my phone call earlier with Jake. It was weird he called me by my full name. I didn't like that. After I close my eyes, I decide to take my mind off Jake and think about the show. My stomach feels like it has butterflies in it again.
"How are we even getting into this show?" I speak up as Liz brushes the color over my eyes.
"Ross gave me backstage passes."
"Oh, when?" I try to think if he ever gave anything to Liz the night of the dinner George didn't show up to.
"Yesterday."
I open my eyes then squint them at her, "You've been seeing Ross."
She blushes as she looks over back to her eyeshadow palette again. I quickly backhand her thigh, "You lied! Your dad isn't in town!"
"Ow!" She laughs, rubbing her thigh.
"All I'll tell you is that both you and the person you hate are equally miserable."
I sigh, closing my eyes again as she turns to me again. Why was George miserable? He's the one that pushes me away.
"Ross is sweet though."
"Liz, are you actually developing a crush?" I tease. This also surprises me.
I look at myself in the mirror, slightly turning to see the back of my jeans. Liz dressed me, and to my surprise, I actually liked the outfit. Light blue jeans, a black long sleeve shirt that slightly dips down in the front, and black pumps.
"And, here." Liz hands me a small white purse with a long silver chain.
"Now let's go, we still have to meet Emmie."
I quickly grab my phone, keys, and money, almost falling in the heels. I don't understand how Liz can run in these.
I smile at her as she enters the elevator after me. Her hair up in an elegant bun, a few loose strand of hair framing her face. She was dressed in a black long sleeve dress and black heels.
"You could be a model, Liz."
"Gia, look at you." We softly laugh together as the elevator moves. She's someone I never want to lose. My best friend.
Once we run out to catch a cab, I grow quiet. I'm nervous again. The whole ride from picking up Emmie, to the venue, I felt like I was going to puke. I make both girls hold my hand as we approach the back door, Liz handing the security guard our passes. He lets us in, revealing the almost empty venue aside from the crew, setting up. I look to the right to see the stage. It has a very laid back vibe to it, only a lit up rectangle as the background setting. I see Ross walk up to us, me secretly hoping George wasn't around yet. Liz lets go of my hand to hug him.
"Hey Gia, hey Emmie." I smile and wave back, trying to his my nervousness, still holding Emmie's hand. Our attention turns to the door that shuts loudly behind us, my smile dropping once I see who it is.
"Hey Ross."
"Uh, hey Anna."
"Have you seen George?" Her cheery voice annoys me.
I tune everything out as he tells her directions to their green room, turning around to walk back outside as she leaves. Emmie tries to pull me back, Liz asking Ross why he didn't tell her she'd be here.
As I stand against the brick wall, I light myself a cigarette, wondering why the hell I even came. I prepare to tell Liz or Emmie to go away as the door opens but it's Adam. I quietly greet him as he stands next to me with his hands in his coat pockets.
"I'm sorry he's so confusing. He's just...messed up."
I shrug and exhale smoke, not really wanting to talk about him.
"Ross and I really want you guys to see us play though."
He grins at me, and I try to return it, but I can't. I lean my head against his arm, him wrapping it around me instead. It was soothing, but I didn't see it as anything more than a friendly gesture.
"Fine. I'll go back in," I softly laugh.
We link arms again, much like we did at the bar a few nights ago, me flicking the cigarette onto the ground. I feel a little better when we walk back into the venue together but that quickly disappears as I see George walking on stage to his drum set. He looks around like he's forgot something, but before we can make eye contact, I turn away. Adam walks me over to Liz and Emmie who were waiting to the left of the stage. They smile at us as we approach.
"Don't worry okay? Just enjoy the music."
I nod, as he smiles at me. Before he walks off, I pull him back and give him a hug, thanking him. He smiles, and says it's no problem then walks off to get his guitar. I turn my attention to the stage, George quickly acting like he wasn't looking from behind his drum set. This was going to be a long night.
The three of us end up having to move towards the center of the stage as a cameraman arrives. Liz and I switch places so I'm closer to Adam, her to Ross, Emmie in between. Emmie quickly grabs Liz's arm as Anna stands to the far right of her, telling her not to kill anyone tonight. I laugh as Liz crosses her arms, reluctantly agreeing not to hurt anyone. The venue gets louder as people enter behind us, the stage becoming empty again. It takes a bit for the venue to fill up, finally the lights go dim, causing the crowd to scream. Emmie and I laugh as we cover our ears at the same time, Liz too busy smiling at Ross as he steps on stage. The whole band is on stage now, messing with their equipment until finally Matty greets the crowd, them shouting in return.
"Alright, we're gonna jump right in and play one you all may know."
George's drums are the only thing sounding at the moment before the crowd cheers. I recall this being the song I saw the music video for at the bar. Matty dances as he sings the words, Adam slightly bobbing along. Emmie and Liz happily sing along, as I watch Adam, swaying my head to the music. There's another drum interval, Matty speaking to the crowd again, "I wanna see you all dance!"
The crowd cheers again, him going back into the song.
"Yeah if you wanna find love then you know where the city is."
I haven't looked at George once. The song ends and Matty announces this next one is a new song.
"I'm sorry that your dad's dead..."
I look over to Adam hitting keys on the keyboard next to him, we make eye contact and end up smiling at each other, most likely him recalling our conversation about me playing piano. I make the mistake of looking over at George, him sadly smiling at me. I quickly look down, then over at Anna who's smiling in his George's direction.
"Oh I prefer it in your bed, television set."
Even though I'd hate to admit it right now, I really loved their sound. If Liz would've showed me them, I would probably be a fan too. I quietly watch them as they play another song. It's more upbeat, and I find myself dancing along with Emmie and Liz, along with the guys on stage.
"Yeah so far it's alright, alright, baby."
The song ends and I cheer for them. Matty winking in our direction. Emmie squeals, turning into a complete fangirl. Liz and I exchange glances and laugh. I forget she hasn't met Matty yet, and Liz has kept their little affair on the low. She says her and Matty agreed it was a one time drunken thing, and that they've moved on like nothing happened, which is true. You would've never guessed that they had even spoken to each other before.
"Alright, this is the last song in the EP, and I want everyone's phones away, and I want you to just listen." The crowd cheers, most of them obeying Matty.
"This ones called Falling For You, and I wanna dedicate this one to my friend right here." I blush as he points at me, the crowd cheering and shouting "Aww's."
They quickly jump into the song, and I look over to Liz and Emmie who are smirking at me. I sigh then look over to Adam who discreetly nods his head in George's direction.
I look over to him, feeling the butterflies again as he's singing along, already staring at me.
"I'll never make it right if you don't want me around."
I'm not sure exactly how to feel. I hold my gaze with his.
"Don't you see me now?
I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you."
I bite my lip as he softly smiles at me, studying him.
"Maybe you'll change your mind."
I look down at my feet, feeling the butterflies grow more intense.
"Soon you will be mine,
Oh but I want you now.
I want you now.
When the smoke is in your eyes, you look so alive."
I recall the night at his place, when we all smoked together, and the way we acted like a couple. I wanted to go back to that night.
"I don't wanna be your friend,
I wanna kiss your neck."
I look back up at him, and I can't help but smile. He smiles back, while he joins Matty with the vocals again,
"And on this night and in this light
I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you
Maybe you'll change your mind."
The song ends as the crowd cheers. George grins widely as me, as I nod, him getting that I was referring to the last lyrics of the song. I bite my lip as Matty tells the crowd that's the last song on the EP, remembering Anna. I look over at her and she's already glaring at George, then she looks over to me. Liz snickers as she looks in the direction I'm looking, Anna quickly dodging the crowd as she tries to leave.
The guys end up playing two more songs from their past EPs and I can't help but laugh to myself as I watch George drum, his silly faces were cute. Here I was not even five minutes ago wishing I could hate him, but now I couldn't help but stare and want to kiss him. I went through those two phases with him often, it was exhausting.
I tightly hold onto Emmie's hand as she holds onto Liz's, heading for the exit.
"He wants you to go to the back," Emmie whispers into my ear as we stand outside with fans that were mostly girls, squealing with excitement. I smile then walk to the side of the building, wondering if Emmie and Liz knew about this all this time. I greet the security guard, him waving in return. A van pulls up now, the guys stumbling out the brick venue, George exiting last. We make eye contact as he walks over to me, grinning.
"Hey."
"Hi," I laugh nervously.
"I'm sorry. About everything." He shoves his hands into his leather jacket. I smile at it then at him.
"Hey you, with the jacket," I laugh as I point at him, "Kiss me."
He chuckles softly then pulls me close, planting his lips on mine. This kiss was different, more passionate. We both smile through the kiss, and I can't help but feel content.
•••
[I'm sorry if this chapter is all over the place. I can't tell. It's 6am and I'm very sleep deprived but I just wanted you guys to have something to read, and I can't sleep anyway. I tried my best to proof read a few times and catch all my mistakes lol. xx]