Taking a deep breath, I straightened my shoulders and looked ahead of me at the enormous building that was before me. Surrounding it were a string of other buildings that continued into the distance. All around were the sounds of other people laughing and chatting. I couldn't believe that I was actually going forward with this. I was going to college and in that moment, it was the last place in the world that I wanted to be. I hadn't been to a school in at least two years. I'd graduated from high school and that was it. This nervousness wasn't supposed to have me shivering, but it did.
Take a step forward, I looked at the two people nearest me. They were both tall and buff with tanned skin that enhanced their eyes. Their cuteness didn't surprise me considering that I noticed they wore matching black and purple shirts with some Greek symbol on the front. The symbols were foreign to me. I couldn't tell the difference between a theta, delta or any of the other signs. They definitely looked like frat boys. Not too far away, stood two females dressed in similar shirts. As I walked past, one of the men handed me a flyer.
"Party at the Phi Kappa Delta house, tonight," they greeted in unison.
I looked down at the flyer and noted the main purpose was to recruit "babes" and "bros". I couldn't even began to react that. Veronica, my grandmother, wanted me to join as many social factors as I could. She was a former Alpha Beta of the university and it took her many places, including where she was today. It was one thing to join a college, quite another to become an active sorority girl. I felt out of place. Like I had left the ghettos and been thrust directly into the suburbs.
Entering the structure of the building, it was quite loud as people shouted to one another excitedly. A group of guys wearing those purple and black shirts, stood off to the side joking around one another. A diversity of ethnicities stood before me. Some were cute, others passably attractive. As I passed, they whistled.
"Hey, sweetheart," one of them said smoothly stepping in front of me. "Welcome to campus. Why don't you do us all the favor of bringing your sexy ass to our party tonight?"
He ran one hand through blonde hair, his tanned skin show casing emerald green eyes that moved over my figure with appreciation. I arched one eyebrow and gave him the same attention he was giving me, noting that he had to bench press to have those kind of muscles. He stood at least seven inches taller than me and in a fair fight, I wouldn't have a chance. He was cocky as fuck. Normally, I'd have found him impressive, but I couldn't get the events of the past two months out of my head, nor Angel. The man was a shadow in my mind.
A party was the last thing on my mind.
I bit my bottom lip, knowing that Veronica would want me to go. She demanded that anything Angel-like be removed from my mind. I was young and available. No man should tie me down so young, especially not one who was up to his ears in illegal activity. I had to be the better family member and make something of the Moss's. I wasn't sure about that. You could remove the girl from the hood, but it didn't remove the hood from her. It was the same concept with Angel. You could remove me away from him and out of my life, but it didn't remove him from my thoughts or my subconscious.
"Maybe, I will," I told him.
He smiled widely, exposing dimples. "Don't think. Just do it, sweetheart. You won't regret it. I'm LJ. We're part of Phi Kappa Delta. Our sister sorority would no doubt love to have you as a Sigma Omega Delta."
I shrugged, before giving him a small smile. "We'll see," I responded, before moving around.
"Your name, sweetheart?" he asked.
Looking back at him, I noted that his frat buddies were watching the two of us. I shrugged. You're living a normal life, now, was the mantra I repeated in my head. That meant that this clean cut men were going to a part of my life. Thugs were ruled out, along with everything that I'd ever grown up to. Being around them endangered my life, being around these men didn't. So, it'd be best for me.
I opened my mouth to answer, just as my phone rang. Seeing Maria's name across the screen, a grin spread across my face as I answered. Her baby was due in about a month and a half. That little nigga was going to be bad as fuck and spoiled. I'd make sure of it.
"Keish," she squealed. "Guess what?"
I chuckled.
"Viktor finally throw in the towel and gave into the name Sebastian?"
"No, bitch," she retorted. "He said, it's not a sensible name for a Latino baby."
"Well Leonardo is overrated for sure," I responded. "That nigga has issues. He better rethink that. I'm not letting my god child carry that name around."
She laughed.
"So, how's everyone?" I asked, before glancing over at LJ.
Holding my hand over the mouth piece, I finally answered him. "Keish."
Walking away, I listened to Maria tell me all about how Viktor was smothering her now that she was near her time. I laughed as she described the moments that I missed in that instance. Two months without them was tearing at me. Although, we chatted almost every day, it wasn't the same and I knew it. I missed the smaller moments of made eye contact, making fun of people together, and just sitting down a simple together. Instead, I was left here with Veronica and David. They were of a different caliber. They weren't in the least bit like I had expected leaving with them. They treated me as though I was a child and they were trying to reign me in. I didn't appreciate that shit at all. Some days, I felt lost. I had met so many of their crew and seen firsthand the control they held. Filtering my mouth had been one of the first things that I had learned to do. Veronica and David were proper. Living in the midst of fancy ass people, they prided themselves on maintaining a good life. This meant that they didn't have time or patience for ghetto fabulousness. Their expansive yards, pools, and how close they lived to some of the most important people in the state made them—not my cup of tea.
In the two months that I had been here. I stopped cussing in front of them. The word nigga was reduced to only in my head. If I hadn't put my foot down, then they'd have been trampling my fashion. I had already altered from Nike heels and other things to name brands such as Prada, Gucci, and Chanel. Veronica had insisted on it. Her exact words being:
"We're near some of the richest people in this state, you have to start dressing like someone from around here. That ghetto fabulous look has to go. We're woman, therefore we act like ladies. It's ok to show skin, but not with the exposure of a prostitute. There are four areas to keep covered: nipple aureoles, ass cheeks, the butt crack, and your vaginal areas. My personal shopper will help you alter your look. Oh and we're having a dinner in a few weeks to introduce you to the family."
When Maria was finally silent, I asked the question that had been burning in me for a while.
"How's Angel?"
She was silent for a moment, before she responded. "He's thrown himself into his work without any care for anything other than safety."
I bit my bottom lip again. I knew that I had been the one to make the decision to leave, but damn that man had made his way into my life and I hated admitting that I missed him. He'd my first relationship among other things. Caught up on him was one way to describe our past relationship. Two months ago, we were expecting a child. Even now that was a sore subject for me. It was part of the reason that I left. My phone held his number, yet I couldn't find the strength to text him or call.
"Well, at least he's being safe."
"When are you going to talk to that man?" Maria demanded.
"When I'm ready to," I snapped. "Look, I have to go. My class is about to start in a few minutes."
She huffed. "Whatever, bitch," she retorted. "You just made because you ain't been dicked down. Loosen up and let papi come visit and fix it for you."
"Fuck you," I responded, walking into my math class. Algebra would be my downfall and I knew it.
"I love you, too," Maria said, yawning. "Bye."
"Bye," I responded, taking a seat at the back of the classroom.
Sitting my book bag on the floor, I slid my phone into my pocket and took out the textbook, ready to explore polynomials and zeros. Jotting down the date and my name, I started taking notes as professor began his lecture. Every so often, I'd look up and catch a glimpse of tight firm ass sitting in his jeans and smile. My professor was a cutie with a hipster style. He was highly intelligent and I couldn't help but think the nigga had some other type of job at night. Professors weren't built like strippers, or I didn't think they were supposed to be.
He continued speaking and I eventually found myself doodling, rather than taking notes. The vibration of my phone, drew me from the on and off nodding of my head, as I started to drift to sleep. It wasn't a lack of sleep. Boredom was the culprit and I was quickly becoming annoyed by his continuous pestering of us to give him answers. Sliding the phone out my pocket, I looked at the message from Rome and shook my head. The fool still tried hitting on me.
Rome: I wanna see that sexy ass. Damn you done got thick as fuck. What they been feeding you?
Since, I'd move I'd been more into Facebook, so that me and Maria could share crazy pictures and still allow Diablo and the others to see them. It was the easiest way to not have to forward things continuously to one another. My latest picture showed me in a bikini in the hot tub at my grandparents' house. I had put on some weight. I'd say at least fifteen pounds and it'd gone directly to my hips and ass. I wasn't complaining, though. Maria wanted to know what the hell I ate to get it. The food provided to me was good and I couldn't help but to eat it.
Me: No, you don't get to touch.
Rome: Watch me. Squeeze, slap, and caress it.
Me: Alright, nigga. Get that ass beat, if you want.
Rome: It'd be worth it.
Me: Pfff. Worth a broken nose and black eye?
Rome: You can try, shortie.
Me: Ain't no try, nigga. You'll get beat.
Rome: Lol. You funny as fuck. You know that shit ain't ever stopped me.
Me: You hadn't met me, yet.
Rome: Confident little thing, aren't you?
Me: You know it.
Sliding my phone in my pocket again, I decided it was time to leave. How people sat through this damn college shit, I didn't know. This was boring as fuck, though. Not to mention, less of a headache. Packing up, I moved from the back and left. Going down the hall and towards the exit, I saw LJ and his frat buddies still standing there chatting and handing out fliers. I shook my head.
Maybe, I'd go.
Author's Note:
Still contemplating if this is the beginning that I want or not.
I need you guys opinion. It's of the utmost importance.
So PLEASE COMMENT and let me know, what you're thinking. 'Cause tomorrow, I just might take it down and start from scratch...
So confused right now....
y,3w