Cliche(A parody)

By The_Akward_Silence

40.6K 2K 2.5K

This is a parody of all those cliche stories that you absolutely LOVE. #255 in Humor More

Cliche(A parody)
Cliche # 1: The Insecure Heroine & The Typical Bad Boy
Cliche # 2 The Ridiculous 1D Fanfic & The Rejected Mate
Cliche# 3: The Cheating Mate & The Main that Cries Too Much
Cliche #4 : Don't Make The Author Angry
Cliche # 5: The Author Never Kills The Main
Cliche #6 The Kidnapping "Werewolf"
Cliche #7: The Stockholm Syndrome Main
A Serious Note
Cliche# 8 :BFF Love
Cliche # 9: The New 'Badass' In Town
Cliche # 10: The Bet
Cliche #11: A Grammar Nazi's Worst Nightmare
Cliche #13: Lesbihonest(sneak peek)
Cliche# 13: Lesbihonest
Cliche #14: It All Turns Out To Be A Dream

Cliche #12: My BFB [1]

1.3K 51 37
By The_Akward_Silence

I just want to warn you of stuff before you read, but that might spoil the chapter for you so um just be aware somethings will happen that will possibly offend and or make you uncomfortable. That is all. Oh *hands brown bag* you'll probably be needing  this.

"Welcome to my humble abode." My best friend said while walking into  her home. We were assigned a project to do and school and so we decided to meet up at her place.

I rolled ny eyes at her, "I've been here a hundred times, why do you insist on saying that?"

"It has a certain ring to it." She sighed happily while gazing off.

MY MILKSHAKES BRING THE BOYS

TO THE YARD

AND THEY'RE LIKE

IT'S BETTER THAN YOURS

DAMN RIGHT IT'S BETTER THAN YOURS

I CAN TEACH YOU

BUT--

"Hey mom," there was a slight pause. "so you picked him up then? Cool. I'll see you soon."

"What was that about?" I asked after she hung up.

"My brother is finally coming home." She breathed out while anxiously biting her lip.

"You have a brother?" For some reason my heart skipped a beat.

She nodded her head, "Yeah, my parents don't like talking about him much so I've kept silent about it."

"Is he a bad boy?" I asked hopefully.

"Jade, can we not talk about him please?" Bestie rubbed her arm while giving me a pleading look.

"Okay, I'll see him soon anyways."

"Thanks. Can we start on the project then?"

"Sure. You got the camera?" Bestie grinned and gave me a nod.

"Yep, you got the lingerie?" I matched her grin with one of my own before patting my backpack.

"Sure do, let's get this show on the road."

We both walked to her room that was upstairs. Bestie closed and locked the door while I plopped myself on her bed.

"I freaking hate Health class projects!" I said while Bestie was setting up the camera.

"I actually quite like them." Bestie muttered as she put the video camera on the stand.

I gave her a confused frown, "Why? They're so stupid and pointless."

She shrugged and smiled, "No reason. I think we should change in front of each other."

"Why?"

She shrugged and smiled, "No reason."

"Okay." I said while taking off my shirt.

"Fuck yeah." Bestie whispered.

"Um, are you staring at my boobs?" I asked as I also took off my pants.

"Psh, no why would I stare at your....beautiful and perky," Bestie cleared her throat. "and completely plain breasts?"

I shrugged, "I guess I was seeing things then. Should I pick the red or black one?" I asked while holding up both lingerie sets.

Bestie cleared her throat, "I-I think r-red would fit you perfectly."

I smiled and took off my bra and underwear. I swear I heard Bestie groan but I must be hearing things. Though I do hear some seriously heavy breathing, but oh well. After put on both the bra and underwear, I tossed Bestie the black ones. She seemed to be blushing and panting really hard.

"Are you okay?" Bestie blinked and gave me a nod.

"Good, after you get dressed let's just go ahead and start, okay?"

Bestie gave me a nod before practically tearing off her shirt and pants. She must want to get this over with as much as I do.

"Okay I'm ready." Bestie said after slipping on the black underwear.

"Let's get this party started then!" I said as I sat on her bed. Bestie gulped and hit the record button before joining me.

Her forehead grew sweaty and she seemed nervous for some reason. She took a deep breath a leaned until our lips were only a centimeter away from each other. Our lips were about to meet, but there was a loud bang downstairs.

"I'M HOME!" I heard Bestie's mom scream.

"Fucking seriously? I was so fucking close! God dammit!"

"Why are you so mad?"

She shrugged and smiled, "No reason. Come on, let me introduce you to my big brother."

"Sure!" I suddenly grew nervous. Her brother must be hot because Bestie has a really good looking family.

We finally made our way to the living room and what I saw made me stop in my tracks. His brown hair was unkempt and there were bald spots randomly placed on his head. He had a bushy unibrow that also had bald spots oddly enough. The thing that had me was how black and dark his eyes were. Also how unfocused they were and his left seemed to just lazily hang at the far corner of his eye. In between his eyes that were unbelievably spaced apart from each other, was his extremely skinny nose. It was so narrow that I was amazed that he could breath properly. There was a light green goo that hung from it that made its way to his lips. Unexpectedly, the goo dropped from his nose and was just lying on his upper lip. As if on instinct, his long tongue slithered and caught the goo and as quickly as the tongue came, it retreated back into his mouth.

"Phhh." His mouth let out a long line of saliva as he spoke the word. His movements were extremely sluggish as he wiped his chin to only wipe it on his white dress shirt, which had an assortment of strange colors on it. His tan pants also had strange colors on them. The one thing that I noticed was the large brown stain on the side of his right leg.

"He's perfect." I whispered to myself in awe.

"This is Basura, he just came back from boarding school, for the mentally challenged." Bestie introduced while Basura let out an odd grunt.

"He has a beautiful name." I said while not taking  my eyes off of this fantastic piece of man man meat.

"Well we couldn't name him trash in English, so we had to translate it into Spanish." Bestie's Mom said while laughing and shrugging her shoulders.

"Well it's still beautiful." I muttered as I watched his right eye focus on me. My breath caught at how dull and uninterested they looked as they gazed at me. I think I might faint.

His lanky and extremely skinny legs awkwardly walked in my direction. I noticed that he dragged his right leg a little, sort of like a zombie. A retarded zombie.

"Ungh." Was the first thing he said when appeard in front of me. I shivered when his sweaty and cold hands patted my cheek. I enjoyed all of the five minutes of him grunting while continiously patting my cheek with the palm of his hand.

"Okay, I think that's enough Basura." I glared as Bestie pushed him away from me. Don't take me my away from me bitch!

"Are you guys working on that Health project? The one where you have to demonstrate how teenage sex looks like?" Bestie's Mom asked while smiling fondly at Bestie. I frowned because it seemed like she was completely ignoring Basura who was grunting and moaning incoherent words.

"Yeah, the teach said that his salary doesn't cover much, so he has to sell teenage pornography just to get by." Bestie replied while also ignoring her 'brother'.

"Heeeh." I jumped in surprise because Basura was standing right behind me. I turned around and saw that he had his finger up his nose. He's so fucking sexy. His right eye stared at me intensely while pulling it out. My breath caught as his finger trailed down my cheek. It felt wet and slimy. My cheek wasn't the only place wet and slimy.

"Basura!" Bestie screamed at his actions.

"Gurg." Was all he replied before limping away to the kitchen

"I'm so sorry for what he's done. Here let me wash that off."

"No!" I shouted at Bestie while pulling my hand out of hers. She gave me a confused look.

"I mean that I can do it." I laughed nervously while walking away into the bathroom.

I hastily closed the door and let out a sigh. I caught my reflection in the mirror and I felt instant embaressment. He saw me in only lingerie! So embarrassing OMG! I must look like a peice of shit compared to him.

My eyes trailed down my flat stomach that was tan and glistening. I tried pinched my stomach, but it was too tight to get any body fat. I'm such a fucking whale. I hated how perky my boobs were, like fucking sag a little.

I felt myself smile as I remembered how his finger trailed my cheek, leaving a cold and wet sensation. My palm wiped the substance off of my cheek and smiled. My lips met the palm of my hand, letting the goo touch my lips.

"I think that I'm in love."

So how'd y'all like it? Was it disgusting? Well if you're wondering what BFB means, Google it or listen to that one Victoria Justice song. Well if you liked this chapter, then you're in luck! I'm thinking if making this into a 3 part cliche. There's also going to be another clichè in there. Did you notice it? I mean I didn't try to hide it so you should notice it, especially if you reading girlxgirl stories. Oh and I'm so freaking happy that this book has hit 6K like what the heck? I didn't expect for so many people to read this! Thank you guys so much! I want to reward you guys, but I'm not sure what I can do. Can you guys give me some ideas? Well I'm tired of typing this message on my phone so peace out!

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