Three days later, the boys take me out to the city. For a few hours they show me around, signing a few autographs along the way.
Once we sit down on a bench and take a break, Brian turns to me. "I never asked you how your date with Roger went."
Shit.
"Um... fine?" I answer unsurely.
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
"How was the movie?"
"Fine."
He laughs. "Have an answer other than 'fine?' Any details you can give me?"
"We went there in a limo," I tell him.
Wow, he mouthes, looking over to Roger.
"It was nothing fancy," I assure him, putting my hand on his shoulder.
"I know, I know," he says. "But wow."
Brian seems really jealous. I hope he doesn't get angry with Roger. I hate being in the middle of this.
"Don't worry about it, Bri. It was only our second date. Nothing happened," I lie.
"Okay..."
"You suggested this! How come all of a sudden you're so jealous?"
"I'm not! I'm just surprised he did so much for you."
"Whatever."
***
That night I toss and turn, unable to sleep. I can't go out with both Brian and Roger. It makes me feel too guilty, and I don't like lying.
I decide to get up and wander around the house to make myself tired. I walk through every hallway in the house, including the upstairs hallways. I pass by Roger's room and I think he hears me because the door slowly opens and a very tired Roger trudges out of his bedroom.
"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" I whisper.
"No, love," he says. "I'm getting water."
"Oh."
"Why are you up?"
"Can't sleep."
"You know, the best way to go to sleep is to lay in your bed," he jokes.
"I know, but sometimes walking around helps me sleep."
"Suit yourself. Want to come downstairs with me?"
I nod, following him downstairs. Roger pours himself a glass of water and sits on the couch. He invites me to join him, so I do.
"Truth is, I can't sleep either," he says.
"Oh?"
"I... can't stop thinking about the kiss," he says.
"Me neither," I confess, relieved I'm not the only one.
"It was so nice, but so wrong..."
"I know," I say. "Just imagine what Brian would think if he couldn't even handle the limo."
"He didn't take it well?"
"Not at all. He shouldn't have suggested we go out again if it was gonna hurt him."
"You really care about him, don't you?"
I pause. I've cared about him even before I knew him, but that was just because I idolized him. Now it's more than that. We're going out now too. I don't know how to describe my emotions for him in our current situation.
"Rox?" Roger questions, gently shaking me out of my daydream.
"What?"
"You don't have to answer. I'm sorry for bringing it up."
Suddenly, I feel my eyes well up with tears. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I'm insanely tired. Maybe it's because Roger asked me about my feelings for Brian, or maybe it's just because... Roger.
"Are you okay?" he asks quietly.
"Y-yes," I stutter, holding back tears.
"No you're not. I said something."
"It's not you, Roger!"
"Then what is it?"
"I don't know."
He wipes my tears and pulls me into a tight hug. I sob into his chest, wetting his shirt as he comforts me.
I'm in Roger's embrace for over an hour. I look up at him and see his beautiful blue eyes flutter shut. I wiggle out of his arms, put a blanket around him, and tiptoe into my room. I get into my bed and feel tired enough to go back to sleep.
Maybe tomorrow things will clear up.