I sang loudly as I walked down the street of Diagon alley.
"I really like to dance around the streets of Diagon alley! I am absolutely bored out of my mind! I really think I'm going crazy! But you know I don't really care!"
I got a few weird glances, but apart from that no one bothered me.
Three weeks into the holidays, and I was bored to the point that I actually had logical thoughts.
Freaking weird.
I kicked off my shoes and collapsed onto my temporary bed in my temporary room in the leaky cauldron. It was a bit of a hovel, but it beats spending summer with Snape.
The room was fairly drab and paint was peeling off the walls. It had a bed, a dresser, a mirror, a chair and table.
I had bought a new diary, and had jotted down my thoughts.
Diary Entry One:
Hey Willow,
I decided this year, instead of writing these as an entry, I'm gonna write them as like a message to the future.
Anyway, you're going to die your hair to golden brown to escape the person that you have been. This will help you feel less attached to your father, because just...eww...
You're also going to stop trying to find out the mystery to do with where you came from. Say like, how you kept trying to figure out if you are related to Harry.
You're totally done with mysteries; the chamber of secrets ruined that for you.
I'm feeling like a total douche writing a letter to myself...
Okay, Wil, keep this, and do what it says.
Just, just don't write another one because it's stupid.
P.S. Change your last name.
-Willow from the past.
"So," I said walking over to the mirror. "Step one accomplished. I have died my hair."
I looked at the golden locks that fell over my shoulders. It looked awesome with my green eyes.
"Step two." I said to myself. "Stuff mysteries, I'm over it."
Okay. That was easy.
"Step three. Which was actually step two, but I'm retarded. Lucius Malfoy is not my father. Lucius Malfoy is not my father. LUCIUS MALFOY IS NOT MY FATHER!"
That feels good! Yay!
"And now, I need to do my homework." I added sadly.
I looked down at my textbook, which was open from the other fifteen times I had attempted to do my work, and read:
Non-magic people (more commonly known as Muggles) were particularly afraid of magic in medieval times, but not very good at recognizing it-
I slammed the textbook shut and pitched it at the wall. Oh screw it; I don't wanna do the work anyway.
"AHHHH!" I screamed in frustration. I hyperventilated a bit, and then calmed down. What the hell? I'm hyperventilating? More like just hyper!
I spent five minutes hopping around my room for the hell of it before I fell into the desk chair.
I sighed as I looked at all of the open books, all of the half-finished essays and the pile that I hadn't even started on. One of the essays, a particularly nasty one about shrinking potions, was from Snape. I decided to tackle that first to avoid getting a detention. I reckon that he would go to any extremes to give me a detention.
FREAKING DOUCHE!
Oh my goodness! I'm feeling less bored!
WRITE!
NO!
YES!
OKAY!
After what seemed like hours of writing, I finished the essay and threw it in my open trunk triumphant.
I have no idea what I had just written.
Fantastic.
I wonder if Snape could give me a detention for being retarded....
I retrieved my textbook from across the room and began to finish off the essay.
With one paragraph to go, I threw the book across the room again, screaming in frustration.
I need psychological help.
To calm me down Soxy jumped up on the desk and began to purr like a maniac.
"Hi kitty,"I said stroking him. "You're so cute. And quite feminine for a boy."
He then hissed at me and jumped on my bed.
"Naw, you're bipolar, just like me." I said sweetly.
A few minutes passed, and I became bored again.
Not bored enough to do my homework...
Okay, yeah I was.
Gosh, my life was so hard!
#wizardingworldproblems
***
"Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to ME-E! Happy birthday to me!" I sang as July twenty third appeared out of nowhere.
I gazed out the window and three owls were flying toward the window.
One looked as though it was about to die - Errol, Ron's owl - then there was a beautiful snowy owl - Hedwig, Harry's owl - and one was a regular tawny - the school's owl.
They were all bearing presents for me and I squealed in excitement as I unwrapped them. I then proceeded to pour a small dish of water for the owls to drink. (Soxy was watching them hungrily the whole time. I think I should feed him more.)
The first present was from the Weasleys.
I opened the card and three bits of paper fell out - two letters and a newspaper clipping.
The newspaper clipping was from The Daily Prophet
I read:
MINISTRY OF MAGIC EMPLOYEE SCOOPS GRAND PRIZE
Arthur Weasley, Head of the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office at the Ministry of Magic, has won the annual Daily Prophet Grand Prize Galleon Draw. A delighted Mr. Weasley told the Daily Prophet, "We will be spending the gold on a summer holiday in Egypt, where our eldest son, Bill, works as a curse breaker for Gringotts Wizarding Bank."The Weasley family will be spending a month in Egypt, returning for the start of the new school year at Hogwarts, which five of the Weasley children currently attend.
I looked at the Photograph on the paper and beamed. All nine Weasleys were waving at me, standing in front of a pyramid. I was really happy for them to win money, because they kind of had none.
I picked up the first letter and opened it.
Dear Willow,
Happy birthday! Hope you're having an epic time in Diagon alley, but I bet you can't beat it here! It's amazing in Egypt. Bill's taken us around all the tombs and you wouldn't believe the curses those old Egyptian wizards put on them. Mum wouldn't let Ginny come in the last one. There were all these mutant skeletons in there, of Muggles who'd broken in and grown extra heads and stuff. I couldn't believe it when Dad won the Daily Prophet Draw. Seven hundred galleons! Most of its gone on this trip, but they're going to buy me a new wand for next year.
I had almost forgotten about his wand getting broken last year.
We'll be back about a week before term starts and we'll be going up to London to get my wand and our new books. See you there.
Ron.
P.S. Percy's Head Boy. He got the letter last week.
P.P.S. Don't call Harry's- or if you do, don't shout into the phone, the Muggles don't take it well.
I then proceeded to open the second letter.
My Dearest Willow,
I'm sure if you have opened Ron's letter, he would have told you all about Egypt! It's lovely here; I wish I could have spent it with you.
Happy birthday.
I like you very very much.
Missing you always,
George.
P.S. Fred says happy birthday too.
My heart gave a little fart as I put the letter down.
HA! I like him very very much too.
I unwrapped the present.
From Ron, I got a mini pyramid trinket box which had a 'secret' password to open it. It was freaking epic. From George (he got me a present! Eeeeek!) I received a very beautiful green 'evil eye' necklace. I don't know what it was, but it was pretty! I put it on instantly.
I then went and opened the parcel Hedwig had brought. Inside this, too, there were two wrapped presents and two letters, this time from Hermione and Harry.
I opened Harry's card first.
Dear Willow,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Hope you have an awesome day, and are having heaps of fun in Diagon alley. I'm jealous. I am gonna try to make it there to get my books, but the Dursleys are being well...muggle like.
Ron called and failed - shouting into the phone and stuff - it was horrific. Anyway, I'm bored. So if you are to - and seeing as you're Willow - CALL ME.
Missing Hogwarts - oh and you too.
Harry.
Epic letter Harry. Epic.
I opened the present, and I got cat food.
Really? I thought I meant more to him!
I flipped the can over and saw a note-
This is for Soxy so he doesn't starve. Your present is in the envelope. HA! Bet you thought I didn't love you!
DAMN IT HARRY! YOU BUTTHEAD!
I opened the envelope - properly this time - and forty pounds fell out.
SWEET! OH MY GOD HARRY! MUGGLE LONDON HERE I COME!
After I open Hermione's Present, that is.
Dear Willow,
HI BEAUTIFUL! I'm on holiday in France at the moment. It's gorgeous here. I bet you would love it. Did you see that picture of Ron and his family a week ago? I bet he's learning loads. I'm really jealous--the ancient Egyptian wizards were fascinating. There's some interesting local history of witchcraft here, too. I've rewritten my whole History of Magic essay to include some of the things I've found out, I hope it's not too long -its two rolls of parchment more than Professor Binns asked for. Ron says he's going to be in London in the last week of the holidays. I'll join him and you there, alright? Good. Yeah. That's right. Far out, I'm starting to sound like you. Freaking scary.
Love from Hermione
P. S. Ron says Percy's Head Boy. I'll bet Percy's really pleased Ron doesn't seem too happy about it.
I laughed as I put Hermione's letter aside and picked up her present, it was fairly heavy.
"Okay Hermione, what have you gotten me?"
It was a two part present.
The first part had a really pretty necklace with the Eiffel tower on it.
Paris - I really wanna go to Paris.
OH MY GOD! SO PRETTY!
"Okay, Willow, you are seriously retarded." Lucy said now at the front of my mind.
"Hey Lou, haven't seen you in ages!" I replied.
"You never see me, you only hear me."
"Technicalities,b"
I picked up the second part of the present.
It was very heavy. Knowing Hermione, I was sure it would be a large book full of very difficult spells.
But it wasn't.
'The Willow Chronicles' was inscribed in fancy writing on the cover of the large box. I unlocked the lid and gasped as I looked inside.
Would it be creepy to say I would marry Hermione now?
There was a magnificent photo album, full of all our memories. I don't even remember taking pictures, but there were some!
There were several quills, which were charmed so when you write with them, your writing becomes all fancy. There was an address book and finally, there was one last thing.
A beautiful empty novel with numbered pages, the cover of it had a clear place to put the title.
A note was slipped into the front of it.
I know you love to write, and I thought you should turn our adventures into a novel.
You know what, I just might. I think I will write it in first person
After staring at Hermione's present for ages, I turned to the next present. It was wrapped up really shoddily.
I recognized the untidy scrawl on the brown paper at once: this was from Hagrid.
Oh, I feel special.
I tore off the top layer of paper and glimpsed something green and leathery, but before I could unwrap it properly, the parcel gave a strange quiver, and whatever was inside it snapped loudly--as though it had jaws.
Hagrid, what have you sent me?
I poked the parcel nervously. It snapped loudly again.
I pulled the rest of the paper off and out fell - a book.
I read "The Monster Book of Monsters" before it flipped onto its edge and scuttled sideways along the bed like some weird crab.
I reached down and picked up the book that was trying to kill me, and tried to hold it shut.
"Okay," I said aloud. "If I was Hagrid, and I was sending me a book, how would I make it stop? Hagrid....ummm...no, that can't be it..." It was ludicrous to stroke a book wasn't it?
Okay.
Screw it.
I stroked it down the spine and it flopped helplessly, turning into a regular book.
I'M AWESOME!
I picked up Hagrid's card.
Dear Willow, Happy Birthday! Think you might find this useful for next year. Won't say no more here. Tell you when I see you. Hope you're having fun in Diagon alley. All the best, Hagrid
Of course I would need a biting book for next year...
Okay, I'm totally mystified.
I reached for the last letter the one that wasn't from Hogwarts, it turned out to be from Dumbledore.
Dear Miss Willow,
I know you have no money, so with the help of the rest of the school, I have been able to scrape up a few galleons for you, so you can buy your school things.
Albus Dumbledore.
SWEET! I opened up the small leather pouch that was enclosed and shook out twenty galleons.
Amazing. I love my school. And as I told him last year, I love Dumbledore in a non-creepy student/teacher way.
Now there was only the letter from Hogwarts left. It was seemingly thicker than usual. I slit it open and pulled out the first page.
Dear Miss Malfoy,
THOSE ARSES! THAT ISN'T MY NAME!
Please note that the new school year will begin on September the first. The Hogwarts Express will leave from King's Cross station, platform nine and three-quarters, at eleven o'clock. Third years are permitted to visit the village of Hogsmeade on certain weekends. Please give the en-closed permission form to your parent or guardian to sign. A list of books for next year is enclosed.
Yours sincerely,
Professor M. McGonagall Deputy Headmistress
I frowned as I pulled out the Hogsmeade permission form and looked at it.
It would be wonderful to visit Hogsmeade on weekends; it was an entirely wizarding village, and I had never set foot there. I realised that I had neither parent nor guardian, how the hell am I meant to sign this form?
I picked up one of the quills Hermione bought me, and wrote in the fancy writing-
Willow's Mum.
I am so not getting away with this, but hey, it's worth a try.
I loved my friends, and I got totally epic presents.
I. Love. Them.
***
"I'm going to go call Harry," I picked up the number he had written for me and wandered out into the streets of London and walked into a telephone box.
And when I saw I walked into it, I mean that I slammed into the glass like an idiot.
"OH YEAH! I'M AWESOME!" I screamed out to the crowded street...no one even glanced at me. Bloody Muggles.
I walked into, and properly this time, the phone box and dialled in the number that Harry had written.
"Hello, Vernon Dursley speaking." The voice answered.
"Hello sir." I said in my perfectly rehearsed voice. "Would you like to be part of the 'England's Top Family' competition?"
"What does it entail?" Vernon Dursley replied in a greedy voice.
"A simple survey from each member of your household-oh sorry I forgot to mention- you need four people in your family for this to apply." I said trying to sound earnest. "You seem a nice bloke, if you want a hint, if one person is erm, mentally challenged, it helps you out."
"How so?"
God, this asshole asks questions! Bastard!
"It makes them assume that you have had a more difficult life, and you have a better chance at winning the title and the hundred thousand pound prize money." I said sounding moderately retarded.
A few minutes passed, and Mr. Dursley, Mrs. Dursley and their son had completed the survey, which was really me asking a few random questions that sounded professional.
"Now," said Mr. Dursley "I will put you onto our mentally challenged relative."
I could have sworn Dudley Dursley was retarded, but whatever.
"Hello?" Harry's voice called from the other end of the line.
"Harry Potter!" I said in a haunty voice. "This is Willow! I'm epic right! Now say yes so they think you are answering something."
"Yes?" Harry said slowly.
"Okay my friend, I'm staying in the leaky cauldron. I'm bored out of my mind, and you know, generally out of my mind, so I rehearsed this whole thing. They think they are winning a competition! Say 'blue'"
"Blue"
"I'm so bored, have you finished any of your school work?"
"Yeah,"
That potions essay was a BITCH! Anyway, nice to hear your voice. Jesus, I'm bored. Oh say 'no'"
"No."
"And now say, 'Depends on the colour of the meal, metaphorically, I believe that the fish should be orange, but whatever floats your boat.'" He made a choking noise. "Shut up and do it"
"Depends on the colour of the meal, metaphorically, I believe that the fish should be orange, but whatever floats your boat." He said sadly. I heard Vernon Dursley choke on his coffee.
"Brilliant Harry." I ginned into the phone. "Come join me here okay? Promise? Good!"
"Okay, I'll try."
"Okay, now say 'sometimes I need help to dress myself.'"
"Sometimes I want to kill short thirteen year olds but I don't because I could get caught," Harry said pointedly.
A noise of a dying fat man came from the background.
"I hate you." I said. "Oh and Harry, to save your arse, tell them that they are so first on the list for the competition thingy. Love ya!"
"Okay bye," he said with a slight laugh.
As soon as I hung up the phone I was bored again.
It was gonna be a long summer.
***************
Hello beautiful fans :D
I loaf you all! And a lot more than that!
Smile and be the beautiful people you are.
I have absolutely no idea where the plot line is going! Yay!
Mind you I have had no idea since the first chapter of the first book.
Anywho, I LOVE YOU ALL IN A CREEPY STALKER WAY! And Have awesomeness...
Yeah....
Thankyou for reading my randomness <3