Okay so early update! Kinda early! Okay like whatever it's Tuesday night, don't you sass me.
--
"You did not!" laughed Kat. I nodded, a foreign smirk stretched on my lips. I was telling Kat about my encounter, and boy was she proud. Kat wiped tears as she tried to compose herself, but ended up laughing more.
"You should've said her pussy smells like hot dog water. I bet you she would've dropped dead." I laughed at Kat's ridiculousness as we discussed what happened Friday.
"I'm honestly surprised. I never knew you had it in you, Len. You grew more than a pair."
"Even so..." I paused and heaved a sigh, "Even if I kinda grew a pair, I'm still weak around Yejun. He would boss me around, he would say hurtful things, but as soon as he apologizes, I forgive him."
Kat looked at me as if I was dumb. "Len, you're gullible and really forgiving. We became friends because I spilled chocolate milk on your favorite white shirt. I thought you were going to be like, 'Oh nah bitch! Someone hold my earrings!', but you weren't. Instead, you waved it off and acted like nothing happened. You're just that type of person, though I believe you should grow a little backbone."
I instantly thought back to the first time we met...
I stared at my schedule and tried to remember each class. The lunch room was extremely packed, and because I'm fat, I was scared to sit at a table. What if I don't fit? I don't want to make a fool out of myself.
Deciding to stand by the door that led to the staircase, I put my schedule in my pocket and walked towards it. As soon as I was about to pass the water fountain, I felt my shirt get wet.
I paused. The fuck? My boobs aren't even big, so I don't have surprise boob sweat, and plus, it wouldn't feel this bad. Oh goodness, did someone sprinkle water on me?! Looking down, I saw a giant chocolate milk stain on my shirt.
"O-o... I-I'm so sorry!" frantically said a voice in front of me. My eyes focused and I then realized someone was in front of me. I didn't even see them. I looked back at the stain and the girl ran to get tissues. When she came back, she started wiping the stain off of my shirt, even though she was failing miserably.
"Hey, it's fine." I said, grabbing her trembling hand so she can stop. "I-I-I'm sorry! I never-"
"It's fine, I mean it." I cut her off.
She took a deep breath and frowned. "I'll buy you a new shirt, I promise." I looked at this girl as if she had two heads. Are all white people like this? I waved my hand and walked away.
"Wait!" she called behind me. Once again, she came in front of me. Her golden locks fell over her face as she looked down at the stain. "I'm really sorry, I honestly am. My name is Katharina, but you can call me Kat. I'll get you a new shirt."
"Bitch, you still never got me a shirt." I said as I raised my eyebrow. Kat instantly laughed and slapped my arm, "I tried to, but you always declined! You're about to get these hands." I grinned at her and she started typing away on her laptop.
We received an assignment in AP English that required us to write an essay based on the absurdity of main characters we've read about. I honestly thought our teacher was a self absorbed asshole, but he was bluntly honest. "Man, I seriously don't want to do this." sighed Kat.
--
December came around quite quickly. Cindy would glare at me every now and then, but didn't dare to utter a word. Alaric and I don't talk as much anymore. Whenever I would try to talk to him, he would barely respond. Kat told me he's trying to cope with the rejection, but I think it's more than that. There's something else.
I walked into the gym. Yejun and I established we would try not to be obvious in public. I gave him a small smile and he returned it. He started the class off with basic drills and had us practice our yellow belt kicking combination: snap kick, snap kick, jumping snap kick.
"Len, walk around and help out others." He announced as everyone prepared. "Yes sir."
I started walking around and analyzed my classmates' kicks. "Aimee, raise your knee more. The higher your knee, the higher your kick." She looked at me in awe and fixed her kick.
I kept on walking around and fixed some stances. I walked towards Alaric and noticed his landing was awkward. If he continued landing like that, he would sprain his ankle.
"Alaric, do you need help?" I asked. He was doing jumping snap kick, but he would lose his balance when he would land. "No." He coldly responded.
Xiao Ji stared at us as I gave Alaric a small nod. "Okay." I said as I turned away. "But I need answers." I turned back to him and Alaric shooed Xiao Ji away.
Alaric stood over me. Usually, his demeanor was friendly and casual, but it was cold and strained. He looked at me through his lashed and folded his arms. "Your scarf looks awfully familiar."
I tugged at my neck but remembered we were at gym, so it was in the locker room. "Yeah, what about it?" My heart slowly began to hammer in my chest. Why would he question my scarf? Oh God, no, "I saw someone else have it, you know, Master Min. You two have been quite close lately. Don't lie to me. Is that scarf his?"
What am I supposed to say? Either way, I lose. I suppressed a sigh and kept my eyes on him. "Yes, it's his." My heart dropped at how hurt Alaric looked. "Why are you wearing his scarf?! Of all people, why would it be his?!"
The class suddenly got quiet and stared at Alaric. My eyes widened at his outburst. Yejun walked over to us, going in between Alaric and I. "Is there a problem?" he asked. I wanted to look at Alaric, but I didn't want to see his eyes seething in anger.
Even though Yejun knew Alaric liked me, I still never told him about him confessing to me. After ten seconds, Alaric stayed quiet. "So if there's nothing to make a scene about, why are you causing one?!"
Yejun's voice rose about ten decibels with every word he spoke. I saw some people take steps back while others looked away. Still, Alaric stayed in the same spot. "Alaric, twenty push ups. Go!"
I peeked from behind Yejun and saw Alaric's body tremble. He tightened his fists and went down into push up position, finishing the twenty push ups in under a minute. "Stay on your knuckles for five minutes. You want to cause a scene, Alaric? Congratulations, you got it." Turning away, Yejun told everyone to resume their kicking.
"Len, come practice." I knew he was saying that because he didn't want me to see Alaric, but I couldn't help but to feel bad for him. His whole body trembled as he balanced himself on his knuckles. It was worse the floor's wooden boards. "Len!" I snapped out of my thoughts. "Yes sir!"
As I turned away, I saw Alaric look at me. His eyes told me enough, they held the accusations, the anger. I walked over to Yejun and he held the targets out for me. I slapped my foot against the targets, bouncing in place and repeating it again.
"What was he talking about?" asked Yejun. I bit my bottom lip and bounced in place. "I'll tell you later." He gave me a confused look and held the targets higher. "I thought we established trust?" I nodded and picked up my knee up higher. "Definitely! But there's something I wanted to tell you for a while."
"Well? Spit it out." I kicked the target as hard as I could and almost knocked it out of his hand. His eyebrows rose at how strong the kick was as I gave him a sheepish grin. "Okay... So last week, Alaric confessed to me."
Yejun's face went from curiosity to anger. His dark eyes scanned my face and sighed. "So that's why you said he's a better man than me?" I can't lie to him, he can see right through me. I nodded, "Do you mean it?"
I went back into fighting stance, finding the floor interesting. Do I really mean it, though? "Honestly... I've known Alaric for about four years now."
"Look at me." Fuck. I hate it when he does this. He's well aware of his intimidating gaze. "Now." Still, I didn't look at him. I honestly cannot say whether or not any of them are better than each other. I've known Yejun for about three months now, that's barely anything.
But of course Yejun is more experienced. He's six years older than me and most likely run through girls like water. I wouldn't be surprised if we don't last six months. It took Yejun two or three months to confess, actually, I don't know when he started liking me. But it took Alaric about a year. I groaned and looked back at Yejun.
"I don't know, I honestly don't." I muttered. I was the hurt in Yejun's eyes and wanted to yell at him. I looked around and made sure nobody was eavesdropping. "I mean, you can't blame me. We're talking about four years versus three months. Of course Alaric will make more of an impression on me."
"So Alaric's the better man?" Dryly asked Yejun. I let out a frustrated sigh and kicked the target. "You know I can't fully answer that."
"It's easy for me to say you're a better person than Cindy." he retorted. "That's because she's an immature bitch. Alaric's been really nice to me these past four years. Yejun, you know I like you, that enough should reassure you. I chose you, not Alaric."
He shrugged, an annoyed look etched on his face. "That's why he's treating you like shit now, right?"
"Yejun..." I muttered. He shrugged again and called the class to get water. "Oh my goodness. Okay Yejun, fine. You're the better man. Are you satisfied?"
A giant grin stretched across his face and I rolled my eyes. I looked around to make sure nobody saw that, waving when I made eye contact with Kat. "Kat's your best friend, right?" I nodded and looked back at Yejun. "She's been my best friend since day one. We've always had each other's back."
"I've never seen eyes as pale as hers. They're so crystal-like. When I look at her, I feel intimidated by them." I held in my laugh, Yejun feels intimidated? By Kat's eyes? "You better watch out, she'll fuck you up. She's a black belt at Sleep Kwon Do."
Yejun rolled his eyes at me. "Don't butcher the name."
"Oh, I am so sorry. I definitely did not mean to butcher the oh so great name of Taekwondo." He narrowed his eyes and playfully nudged me. I giggled and- I giggled?
Kat walked towards us and smirked at me. Yejun looked away from us and headed over to his desk. "So apparently he finds your eyes intimidating." Kat instantly let out a laugh and looked at Yejun. "That explains a lot. Whenever I'm near, he looks at things other than me. Even when I ask him questions, he answers it but keeps eye contact for like three seconds."
Wow. "Yejun is a pussy." I said as I looked over to him and back at her. "Alright guys, water break's over! Time for some drills!" We all groaned and Yejun smiled.
Yejun is smiling? At the class? Everyone seemed to be in shock as they watched him go to the front of the class. "What?" He asked. Still, everyone was silent.
"He's a lot different than he was back in September." Commented Kat. I nodded in agreement. "I've realized that as well. I guess he had to get used to us first, but that doesn't mean he still won't fuck us up with his glare."
"I also think you changed him. He's happy with you right now, so it's reflecting on the class." A
"Alright! Twenty frog jumps, face your partners and get ready!" Kat hugged me and went back to her partner. Yejun walked in front of me and put his hands behind his head. "Ready? Go!"
I put my hands behind my head and squatted. "One sir!" We all yelled as we jumped. Yejun did the frog jumps with me. By the time we reached the tenth, I felt like I was dying. "Sir..." I muttered, "I don't think I can go on." I struggled with the eleventh, but still kept on pushing.
"You better make it to twenty, Len." he said as he did the twelfth with ease. I pushed harder and did the thirteenth. "Thirteen, sir!" We all yelled.
Everyone, excluding Yejun and Xiao Ji, were dying. I nearly collapsed by the seventeenth, but Yejun's smile kept me going. "Push harder, Len!" I squinted my eyes close and did the last one. "Twenty, sir!" I cried.
Instantly, I collapsed on the ground. Frog jumps fucking kill me, and Yejun is well aware of it. Everyone scrambled to get more water, knowing of the consequences. I took deep breaths and Yejun helped me into sitting position. He sat next to me and looked at everyone.
"I'm so proud of you guys." I took a giant deep breath and nodded. He wiped my sweat on his uniform, making sure nobody saw. "You look so hot when you workout. No pun though, because you're sweating."
"Shut up." I laughed, coughing a bit after. My heart hammered in my chest, not only because of the frog jumps, but at what he said. Is he legit attracted to me? He winked at me and got up. "Get up, you lazy bums!" We all groaned and I saw his lips twitch.
"You guys thought I didn't see you scramble to get water? Who ever got water, stand up!" They stood up and prepared for their punishment. I wasn't surprised when Aimee stood. I pitied them. "Fifty jumping jacks, go!" Nodding, they all finished their jumping jacks and collapsed.
Everyone took their breaths as Yejun looked at the time. I then noticed Alaric was still on his knuckles. About ten minutes passed, holy shit! "Alaric stand up!" His body trembled as he stood up. His hands were violently shaking as he tightened his fists. Yejun shadowed him by an inch or two. I saw his lips move, but I doubt any of us heard what he said.
"Yes. Sir." Bit Alaric, his eyes seething in nothing but anger. When Yejun walked away, Alaric's eyes snapped to mine. It reminded me of Cindy's eyes. Alaric tensed and looked away from me. When I looked back at Yejun, he also tensed when he saw me. Why are they acting like that?
Yejun made us do easier drills and then ended the class. I put the targets away as he walked up to me. "Your facial expression..." muttered Yejun as he leaned against the wall, "Why was it like that?"
I put target by target away, remembering how his eyes reminded me of Cindy. "His facial expression reminded me of Cindy."
"Oh."
I finished putting the targets away and stood up. Yejun scratched the back of his head and looked down. Oh God, what is he going to say? "Hey... You okay?" He sighed and gave me a small smile.
"Since we're officially dating now..." I smiled and nodded, but he still looked nervous. "I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date with me?"
"A date?" I parroted.
"A date."
I punched his arm and he scowled. "Why did you look so nervous? You scared me for a second! Did you seriously think I would say no?" He nervously smiled and rubbed his arm. "So?"
"Duh! What day?" I asked. "Uh, how's this Saturday?" I shrugged and dusted my hands off. "Sure! Time?"
"I'll text you."
I wanted to die inside, but not in a bad way. Like, die die. Yejun is just too cute! I hesitated but pinched his cheek. His eyes widened and he slapped my hand away. I laughed at Yejun's bewildered facial expression. "You're just too cute! Why would you be so nervous? Yejun!" I laughed harder.
His cheeks blazed pink as he opened his mouth in shock. "I-I! I'm not cute!" I bit my bottom lip to try and suppress my laughter, but it didn't work. "Keep on telling yourself that!" I started walking away and looked over my shoulder. "You're just so adorable!"
--
"It's been a while since we all last hung out." said Aimee. We were all on our way to Chinatown and the 6 train was packed. I was grateful though, outside is bone chilling cold.
"Okay, we're going to stay inside of a bakery. Len, you choose." I thought a little bit and my eyes lit up. "I know a good place, but I think old people might be there."
"You never know until you try. Let's go." We got off at Canal Street and went to the bakery I was talking about. Unfortunately, all of the seats were taken by old people. "Okay, I'm going to Bubbly Tea for some hot taro. You guys coming?"
They all nodded and we headed a couple stores down. We ordered our drinks and huddled together. As soon as we got our drinks and left, we saw the Asian Mafia.
Guess who was with them? Oh goodness I hope they don't see us. I tried to glide through the streets, but it was crowded with slow walkers.
"Hey guys!" Loudly outburst Aimee. I'm going to kill Aimee. I'm skinning her alive. They looked in our direction and waved. Alaric's eyes bore into mine as I looked away. The Asian Mafia crossed the street and stood in front of us. We all walked to the park. "Len, let me have some of your drink."
I looked over at Justin and handed him my taro. He drunk out of the straw and almost choked. "Of course it's hot, stupid. Why else would it be in a thermo cup?" Justin laughed and tried to take another sip, but hissed when it burned his tongue.
"I'm not drinking this anymore." he muttered in Mandarin. "Good, now give it to me." I responded. He rolled his eyes and gave it to me. I took a sip and sighed at how hot it was.
"I never understood how you could speak Mandarin so well." said Kat as we approached Columbus Park. "The same way you speak English and French like a native."
"Yeah but I was learning them before I came to the U.S.! I've had way more than your four years, yet your Mandarin flows beautifully." I smiled at what she said. I try hard to sound like a native, but to Mandarin speakers, I probably sounds like Bloomberg speaking Spanish. "Thank you Kat."
We sat down and put our stuff down. My pocket buzzed and I took my phone out.
Hey beautiful 😏
My whole face felt like it was on fire. Kat looked over at my phone and rolled her eyes. "You two are so dumb."
Hi cutie 😝!
Call me that one more time. I dare u
Cutie cutie. See, now you can't do anything to me because I said it twice. 😁👌
Wow Len -_- Ok so you like spicy right?
I'm Jamaican, of course I do!
Good ^^ see you tomorrow ok?
Okay :D!
"Nobody uses that face." commented Kat. "Maybe they do in Korea? You don't know him. You don't know his life. You know his name, not his st-" Kat and I instantly burst into laughter and had everyone look in our direction. I coughed and looked back at my phone.
After about twenty minutes of huddling together, we all decided to find somewhere to go. "Fayda should be alright. They're mad expensive though." said Jamal.
Okay, I do not mean to be racist in any way. Jamal is the most ghetto Asian I have ever met in my life. Every time I see him, I literally want to laugh. His real name is Yimen Chen. He tends to hang out with the ghetto squad, but made an exception for today.
Kat caught my gaze and slapped my arm. I bit my bottom lip trying not to laugh, so I coughed it off. Not only is Jamal extremely ghetto, but this guy has jokes. He will have you dying of laughter in seconds.
"Okay, I don't want to bring this up, but Alaric is grilling the hell out of you." Said Kat as we crossed the street. "I know, and I'm seriously about to..." I looked down at my neck and realized I still had Yejun's scarf on.
I sighed and tugged at it a little. "He's upset because I have Yejun's scarf on..." She gasped and furrowed her eyebrows. "Who the hell remembers a teacher's scarf?"
"Well. He does. And he's mad. No. Pissed." We entered Fayda and happily took all of the seats. I ordered a pumpkin bao and Kat got a lemon bao. Inside was so warm. We all let out a relieved sigh as the warmth seeped into us.
"I'm about to say something." I muttered as I caught Alaric's glare. "He knows I hate it when people stare at me hard. He wants a reaction." Before Kat could respond, I got up and went to Alaric.
"Come outside with me." I told him. He walked past me and surprisingly held the door for me. He saw the shock on my face and looked away. The cold bitch slapped me as I walked out of the cozy bakery.
Chewing on my bao, I took my time to finish it and crossed my arms. "So since you won't start, I will. What's up with your attitude, Alaric? You don't see me glaring at you, you don't see me acting like a total bitch, so what's up?"
This one time he found the buildings to be more interesting than glaring at me. So I decided to play the Yejun. "Look at me." I said as strong as possible. I wanted to laugh at my tone of voice, but was surprised when Alaric snapped his neck to face me. "Good. Now answer my question."
Alaric furrowed his eyebrows and took a deep breath. "Is Master Min a good boyfriend?"
My heart dropped. Nothing could describe the dread I felt. I never thought about what would happen if we ever got caught. I stared into Alaric's muddy pools as he smiled. It didn't reach his eyes, it was nowhere close. It looked more like a snarl.
Alaric is scary.
My whole body was frozen. I didn't feel the bone chilling December wind. I didn't hear Chinatown's voice. I only saw his eyes, and if I looked any more, he would kill me. His eyes came closer to me, but I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe.
What's happening to me?!
I heard my heart frantically beating in my ears. Suddenly, everything started to slowly fade. I felt my knees wobble and saw the sky.
I stared at the sky. Although everything was dim, I saw the intricate hues of blue slowly turning into a burning orange. An orange so vibrant it reminded me of fire. My eyelids felt heavy. Before they could shut, a strong smell of alcohol shook me.
My eyes flew open as I stared up at the sky, its piercing blue causing me to look away. My head felt heavy, but a hand helped me keep it leveled.
"Wh..."
I suddenly remembered what Alaric asked. The panic seeped in again as I took deep breaths to regulate my heart beat.
"Len!" Kat's voice broke through my panic as I took a sharp inhale of breath and looked at her.
The Asian Mafia and my squad surrounded me as I tried to lay up. Noticing I was being held, I looked up to see Alaric's worried eyes staring back at me. They didn't look as scary as before. They looked like Alaric's. His mouth moved but I only caught one word. "...okay...?"
I blinked a bit and tried to stand. I tripped over my own feet and held on to him. We were creating a scene. People stared at us and I took another deep breath. Steadying myself, I clutched onto Alaric's shirt and finally stood. He held me in his arms as we finally made eye contact.
"Are you okay Len?" I looked over at Liem and gave him a smile, or something close enough to one. "I'm fine." I looked down at Alaric's arms and tried pry myself from them, but he only held on tighter.
"Alaric, let go of me. I'm fine." He hesitated and slowly unclasped me. His grip on me was strong. I stumbled a little, but caught my balance. "Thank you." I muttered.
I caught Kat's eyes and shooed away her worried looks. "I'm really fine guys. Trust me." I did an awkward jumping jack and stretched. "See?"
"Yo, you better not be playing us Len." said Jamal. "I'm not playing your bum asses, I'm good."
They all let out relieved sighs and I finally let out a genuine smile. Suddenly, I started to feel the cold. I clutched on to Yejun's scarf, well aware of Alaric's eyes.
"I'm going to go. It's getting late." I nodded to everyone, making sure to give my final thanks and walked away. I heard Kat's footsteps behind me as I glided through the crowds. We finally were about two blocks down and turned a corner.
I faced Kat and felt tears well. "He knows." I sniffed, my panic and frustration running down my cheeks, "He asked me. He knows, Kat. He knows. What am I going to do? He knows!"
She grabbed my face and made me cry in her chest. "He fucking knows..." None of her words reassured me. Nothing made anything better.
Yejun would lose his job because of me.
I cannot jeopardize his career.
We have to break up.
--
Bao - Bun in Mandarin
This was fun to write lmao. I bet I just ruined the moment, well I'm so sorry. Okay, so update!
Yo gurl here is currently a college freshman! I'm moving in Friday morning. What does this mean? Well, updates may take a tad bit longer, so if I update on a Thursday instead of a Wednesday, don't cry. Chapters may be a bit shorter, but they'll definitely be over 3800 characters. (This chapter's about 4500).
If yuh caah wait for me to update, den dooh bawl about me tekking too long, mi nah badda wid unnu foolishness, alright? Alright.
Translation: Don't cry
You don't have to read this since this is a little about my personal life. Today I had to say goodbye to my best friend Camilo (we've been besties since 9th grade) and it just killed me. Not to forget my girl Sammi, we were going to the same college, but because of messed up financial aid issues, she has to stay in the city. Then after, I had to go to my Dojang and say goodbye to my TKD family. We have a master who came from South Korea, her name is Master Oh and she's just so sweet. We're the same age and she's a 3rd Dan (3rd degree). Like bruh. And last week, I had to say goodbye to another one of our masters from Korea. She had to go back since she has a tournament this week, but her name is Master Lee. She is so fucking dope, like I miss her like crazy. Life goes on, you know? I will accept whatever college throws at me, this is part of growing up. Sigh.