I sat on the foot of Liam's bed while he and Mason lay sprawled out on the floor below me, shooting everything that jumped out in front of them on the television screen. I was amazed that the game had kept them so entertained for long. The sun had long since set, and I once I could no longer watch the light slowly fade away, I kept myself from boredom by watching the two idiots play.
The game ended with Liam snagging yet another landslide victory, and Mason threw his hand up in the air. "When did you get so good? Have you been practicing? Or did you just suddenly get superhuman reflexes?"
I choked on the water I was drinking and Liam laughed nervously.
"Practicing," he said while I recovered from my fit of coughs.
"Well I should be studying, and I think I'm Emily's ride home, so we better go."
I hopped off the bed and started heading for the door when Liam spoke up, almost panicked. "Come on, I'm sure you have time for one more game."
"You said that four games ago, Liam." I said from my spot by the door, "Are you ok?"
Liam closed his eyes and hung his head, sighing. Something was definitely wrong. I thought back to our conversation earlier, and I figured I wouldn't be leaving with Mason.
"You're right, you should go. I should probably study too."
Mason looked at me with the same worried look I knew was plastered on my face. I shook my head and motioned for him to follow me out the door.
"See you at school," Liam muttered dejectedly as we left the room.
"What's up with him Em?" Mason asked once he thought we were out of earshot.
"I don't know, but I'm gonna stay a little longer, I can call my aunt to pick me up."
"Are you sure?"
I nodded, and then watched him run down the stairs and out the front door to the car that was waiting for him.
I rubbed my temple as I spun around and made my way back to the boy I cared about so deeply I could practically feel it in my bones.
"Liam?"
He looked up from the floor, "I thought you were leaving with Mason?"
I shook my head and knelt beside him, "I'm not leaving until you're ok."
"Then you should already be gone."
I couldn't pretend that didn't sting, but I didn't move.
"I'm fine, Emily."
I resisted the urge to slap his stupid face, "A newborn baby could tell that you're lying. Don't feed me that crap. This is about earlier isn't it."
He almost looked like he was going to keep fighting me, but then his shoulders sagged and he leaned against me. My mouth dropped open, but for the moment I didn't know what else to say. I wrapped my arms around him and just waited for him to speak.
"I see it every time I close my eyes." His voice cracked and my heart broke.
"The thing that attacked you at the hospital?"
He nodded and I tightened my arms around him.
"Sometimes I think I see them during the day too."
"You know it's not real right?" I asked as gently as I could.
"I know that, but it feels like it is."
"What do you do to make it stop?"
"Nothing, I can't stop it," he said miserably.
"Well what calms you down? Green tea, good book, music?"
"Honestly?"
"Yeah."
"The sound of your voice."
I felt heat rise to my cheeks and I bit my lip, glad he couldn't see my face. My voice was slightly higher pitched than normal when I spoke, "Really?"
"Really."
I tried to keep my voice steady and at it's normal pitch. "Okay, so next time you get scared or nervous or you think you see those things, find me. Find my voice and I'll talk to you about anything."
He spoke softly and I could hear the fear in his voice when he finally responded, "What if it's the middle of the night or something?"
I pulled away from him so I could look him in the eyes. He needed to know I was serious. "I don't care when it is or where you are, if you have to call me or use your freaky super wolf hearing to find me, I'll be there. If you need me, I'm going to be there for you, you're not gonna go through this alone, Liam. I promise."
When Liam didn't respond, and I noticed his lip was trembling moments before tears started to drip onto his beautiful face. My eyes widened and for a horrible seconds I thought I had said something wrong, but he pulled me into a hug so tight I could barely breathe.
"I love you Emily."
My heart stopped beating and I stopped breathing. Time seemed to slow down. In the moments that seemed to last forever I thought about all the time I'd spent with him, and the way I felt when we were together. And I realized something, "I love you too, Liam."
"You're not just saying that to make me feel better?"
I smiled lightly, even though he couldn't see my face. "No, I mean it."
I was torn between wanting to keep Liam in my arms and wanting desperately to kiss him. While I was still weighing the pros and cons in my head, he made the decision for me. His arms left their place on my back so his hands could find their way to my cheeks. I was smiling before our lips even connected. Liam kissed me gently, and my heart fluttered more than usual. As my hands rested on his collarbone, I couldn't think of a single place I'd rather be.
Our moment was cut short when the room suddenly became pitch black. The television had been inactive for long enough that it shut off, plunging the room into darkness. I heard Liam swear under his breath, and when he got up to wake it back up, I got up too. Neither of us were happy about it, but the time for kissing had passed.
"Are you going to be okay now?" I asked once light hit my face again. "It's getting late and I should probably go-" I was cut off by the sound of Liam's voice breaking.
"Please don't leave me."
I blinked furiously to keep myself from tearing up, I couldn't stand knowing Liam was hurting. I wished I could take his pain away like he'd taken mine. But I did the best that I could. I reached out and held his hand in mine, squeezing it reassuringly.
"I wont."
He exhaled deeply and nodded, his stress and fear slowly dissipating.
"If I'm going to be staying here longer, I have to ask. Do you have any sweats or something I can borrow? I can only take so many hours of wearing these jeans."
"Yeah, do you want a shirt too?"
I hesitated, then an idea sparked in my mind. "If you have the one I lent you a few weeks ago, that would be great."
As he rummaged through his drawers, he asked a question I had been hoping to avoid. "It's your brother's right?"
"Yeah."
He nodded and tossed me the bundle of clothes. Then he left the room so I could change. The clothes smelled like Liam and I finally understood why girls were always stealing their boyfriends sweatshirts. I was like a portable hug, and it was perfect.
"Can I come back?"
I flopped onto the end end of his bed, "Yeah, come on in."
He was standing next to me before I even got the last word out.
"So what are we doing?"
He shrugged, "I was thinking maybe we could just talk."
"Okay, but I'm going to get comfortable." I said as I scooted to the head of the bed and leaned back against the pillows. "What do you want to talk about?"
"Can you tell me about him? Your brother I mean."
I inhaled sharply, but nodded. Maybe it would be good to finally talk to someone about everything from before I moved. I patted the spot next to me and Liam sat down, taking my hand as he did. It was a small gesture, but I smiled at the contact. I opened my mouth and nothing came out. I didn't even know where to start.
Liam squeezed my hand and spoke so softly it was almost a whisper, "Maybe just start with his name."
"Okay." I can do this. "His name is Ben, he's about five years older than me. He, uh . . . he left for France last year. He got a scholarship to this really good university and I made him go." I swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat and kept going. "When he went to follow his dream, I moved out here and the burden of caring for me got passed to my aunt. I think he's technically still my legal guardian, but I haven't seen him or talked to him in months."
I turned to look at Liam, his lips were parted and his brow was furrowed. "Ok, I'm confused."
"I can see that. What part of that did you not understand." I placed an empty look on my face, because if I didn't detach myself I would start crying any minute.
"The part where you're a burden, how could you possibly say that about yourself?"
The whole mood in the room changed.
"Um I'm sorry, but how could I possibly not say that about myself? My brother had to put his entire life on hold because he had to take care of me. My aunt has to pick up double shifts just so she can afford to feed me. How does that make me anything other than a burden?" My eyes burned from the tears I was struggling to hold back.
Liam turned his body so he was facing me, and the look in his eyes made me cast my gaze to the ground in shame. He cupped my face in his hands and I couldn't help but lean into the warmth.
"Emily, look at me."
I glanced back up at him, and once his eyes locked on him, I couldn't look away. "You are not a burden, okay? You are a literal ray of sunshine. You smile at strangers and they smile back. I doubt a day has ever gone by in all the time you'e been alive that you didn't make someones day a little brighter. Your aunt takes care of you now because she loves you, and I don't blame her. You are not a burden. Not to her, not to me, not to anyone."
There was nothing I could do to stop my tears from finally falling. They slid down my cheeks and hit the edges of Liam's hands, but he didn't seem to mind.
"I thought I was the one that was supposed to be comforting you." I choked out.
He shook his head, the ghost of a smile on his face. "We're supposed to lean on each other, and I guess I've been leaning pretty hard lately, but it's okay for you to need support too. Now that I'm saying this out loud, it sounds a lot cornier than it did in my head but-"
I cut him off with a chaste kiss before he could keep rambling on. His hand were on my cheeks, so even through I leaned away, he was able to pull me back into him. I didn't argue.
When the TV powered down again, I was ready. Liam inhaled sharply, and started to get up, but I placed my hand on his chest gently, stopping him from leaving.
"Don't turn it back on. You need to sleep, Liam."
He shook his head and looked at me desperately, "I can't sleep in the dark. I've tried every night, but since those things attacked me . . . I just can't do it."
I kept my voice steady and calm, "Hey, it's ok Liam. They're walking nightmares, I get that, but you're safe here."
He was still shaking his head, so I kept going. "Just lie down. I promise you're safe right now. Nothing is going to hurt you tonight."
He took a deep breath and relaxed. I smiled reassuringly and once he was laying down and breathing normally again, I curled up next to him. I didn't mean to fall asleep, but I was exhausted, and before I knew it, my eyes fluttered shut and we both drifted off.