The scar on my collarbones from where the blade of your knife grazed my skin is still there. It will forever be unhealed--untouched--as my hands are literally tied together. The wound has scabbed over now, and I know for a fact that you have a nearly identical scar on your abdomen from where I got you back.
When you fight Alex, you become a completely different person--or so I used to think you did. It appears that the ruthless Alex that nearly slit my throat open was the real Alex. The true Alex.
There's a thin line in life that separates who you are, and what you can become. It's imaginary, it can be fictitious, but I believe that it exists.
And you, Mister Gaskarth, crossed that line long ago.
~
"Come on, Lia! Think about what you're going to do next before you even try to attack me!" Alex scolded as I tumbled to the ground in one big defeated heap. He had moved quicker than I had anticipated, and my attack had blown up in my face. I scowled and remained on the ground, exhausted.
To buy myself some break time, I started to wipe the the dirt off my face with my sweaty palms.
"I'm trying you know! It's not easy to think when you're yelling at me every time I do something wrong!" I snapped moodily, cracking my knuckles in a hot temper. Alex just shook his head disappointingly while somewhere in the background, Jack could be heard munching on an apple.
"Get up." Alex ordered, not bothering to ask me if I was okay. It was like the real Alex was unreachable. I didn't like it one bit.
I was furious, sweaty, and extremely pissed off. Alex's teaching skills were--only one word to describe it--vicious, and the only way to learn was apparently to fail until I could succeed. My auburn hair was nearly damp from my sweat, I was bruised and battered from being thrown around like a rag doll, and to make matters even worse, Alex was barely breaking a sweat.
Yes, that arrogant, cocky, somersaulting, big-headed brunette was--no doubt about it--kicking my ass. My ass. Me, Amelia Wicker, who took down two mutated tigers, couldn't take down Alex because he was a fucking ninja of some sort.
"Yo, Alex, you should cut Lia a little slack, I mean--she's trying." Jack hollered from the rock he was perched upon. I turned my head in his direction and he gave me an enthusiastic wave before lifting Kasper's paw to mimic his action. I rolled my eyes and lifted myself off the ground, rolling my head on my shoulders and putting my fists up.
"Let's go again, shall we?" I huffed, already on my toes. Alex just gave me this extremely irritating grin and nodded, not even bothering to raise a fist. We circled each other before I decided to strike, using my left fist to aim for his right shoulder. He caught my arm in his hand, twisting it viciously before flipping me onto my back. I groaned and he leaned down, his face so close I could count his eyelashes. "Predictable." he sang, and in response, I punched him in the crotch.
He cursed loudly and stumbled back, his eyes nearly watering in pain. I suppose guys just couldn't take a beating in the balls. Not wanting to miss my opportunity, I jumped back up and kicked him in the chest before dropping to to the ground and making a dive for his ankle. Unfortunately, he had recovered pretty quickly, and he stood on my hand, making me cry out.
"That fucking hurt!" I wailed, cradling my hand close to my body as Alex stared down at me, his eyes confused. "Are you alright? C'mere and let me--" but I cut him off with a punch in the face with my uninjured hand. "Sike." I said apathetically, standing up as Alex fell down, blood dripping from his nose.
In a second he was up, and was staring at me, the look of pure shock evident in his eyes. He was horrified. Horrified because I had finally beaten him. I felt a little bad about giving him a nosebleed, but hey, when you mess with the bull, you're going to get the horns buddy.
"This isn't over yet." Alex growled, surprising me. Where was the congratulations I had been expecting? Where was the moment of victory that I so sorely deserved?
"Hey Alex--" I started, but he cut me off. "Take our your knife." he ordered, before taking five steps backwards from me, his eyes hard as he drew his own knife.
I blinked rapidly at him. He wasn't serious was he? But his stormy eyes said it all, and the Alex that stood before me wasn't one I was too familiar with. He was nearly scary looking, blood dripping from his nose, his eyebrows knitted together, and his face scrunched in an evident scowl. I was stumped at what had caused him to become so dark, and I was wondering what would get him to snap out of it, but he was getting impatient, and all I was able to do was follow his order.
So I drew my knife.
"Uhhhh....guys? What're you doing?" Jack's voice echoed through the forest, but his voice hit dead ears, and all that mattered was strategy. Alex wanted a fight? Well I'd give him a fight. One that he wouldn't forget. "Come on guys! Knives are a bit extreme, don't you think? How about we use...uhm...." he trailed off as some scrambling noises were heard. "Leaves! Ooooh! Scary! Way scarier than knives!"
Alex and I both ignored Jack, and when we began to close in on each other, I could feel my heart hammering in my chest. Adrenaline was definitely playing it's part in me, and I was so anxious, that when Alex flung himself at me, I wasn't even fully prepared.
He swiped at my face--which was extremely dangerous and could have ended up with me getting a massive cut on my forehead, but I miraculously managed to miss his attack by an inch (give or take), making him extra steamed. Obviously he wasn't used to missing his target on the first try.
I was shaken up, and when he charged at me, I panicked and dropped to the ground, rolling to the left as he came sprinting full force. He cursed loudly, and I kicked at his shin, making him fall to his knees as I bounced back up.
Bad move.
Alex latched onto my ankle before I could even think about making a run for it, and when I was yanked to my very own knees with a miserable thud, I couldn't help but wish my legs would have moved faster.
Doubling up on his attack, Alex pulled viciously on my ponytail, forcing me onto my back and causing me to be winded briefly.
"A-Alex." I choked out, but he was unreachable once more, and his knife was speeding towards my throat, so I swerved, the blade only managing to graze over my collarbones, making me wince as he drew blood. Unimpressed, Alex swore under his breath, but in that split second I managed to free myself from his grip and I slapped his face hard, blinding him momentarily.
Surprised that I had escaped, Alex was stuck in a state of bewilderment, so I took my chances and pounced onto him, causing us to start brawling in the dirt. It was fast, every second consisting of hair pulling, nail-scratching and even biting. Astoundingly, I managed to come out on top, both of my hands pinning Alex's arms to the dirty forest floor. He tried to move, but I kneed him in the ribs, making him stop immediately.
I slid my knife across his abdomen relentlessly, making a deep cut. My eyes were narrowed and Alex winced as blood gushed from the wound.
"Stop it! Both of you just stop!"
At the sound of Jack's shrill voice, I rolled off Alex as if he were made of poison, dropping my knife to the ground like it had burned the flesh on my palm. I swallowed, looking down at my collarbones, only to see a crimson liquid--that was almost sickening to look at--trickling down my the skin towards my sternum. My head turned wearily to Alex, who was staring at the wound in his stomach with wide eyes, his knife lying lifelessly by his feet.
We were both out of breath, and both of us had each other's blood on our hands. Embarrassed was one way to describe it, but saying that we were both ashamed at what we had done would be hitting the nail on the head.
"Did you two even realise how many times you nearly killed each other? What happened to you two? It was like...it was like you two really hated each other!"Jack ranted, his lips trembling as he spoke. His face was pale, and I was getting the vibe that he was majorly upset."What do you two have to say for yourselves!?"
My words were caught in my throat. What the Hell had just happened? My eyes drifted back to Alex who was picking at a clump of weeds. His eyes had returned to their normal espresso-state, and his lips were trembling too. He looked to be the verge of tears.
"I-I couldn't control myself." Alex choked out, the words sounding as if they were being forced out of his mouth. "It was like...like somebody else had taken over my mind, making me do things that I didn't want to do." He looked up, dull brown eyes looking sadly at me. "We both payed for it though, didn't we?"
I was dumbstruck, too dumbstruck to even answer, to be truthful about it. Maybe I was too scared to open my mouth in case the wrong words tumbled out. Maybe I was afraid of hurting everybody even more.
Moments passed of dead silence, and then Jack's shadow shrank as he sat down beside me, followed by Kasper, who nuzzled his face into my hand.
"Just promise me that you two won't try to kill each other again." Jack sighed, taking his hand in mine and squeezing it gently, his nimble fingers fitting into mine awkwardly. Alex scooted over and rested his chin on my shoulder as we all sat in silence.
"How about we get you cleaned up?" I whispered, finally able to compose a sentence. Alex removed his chin off my shoulder and glanced down at the wound my knife had made in his abdomen. "If you don't clean it, it'll get infected. C'mere." I sighed, holding out my hand and getting to my feet. Alex took it and I nodded at Jack before heading over to where my backpack lay.
I made Alex sit down and prop his back against a tree before proceeding to pour fresh water over the cut. It wasn't as deep as I thought, which made the weight on my shoulders ease off a little. It wasn't going to need stitches, so I just wrapped some cloth around his chest area and suggested we called it a day. Alex nodded silently while playing with his fingers aimlessly.
"You need to clean up too." he whispered as I packed the first-aid kit away. I wasn't in the mood to play doctor anymore, so I just shrugged him off, but Alex wasn't going down without an argument. "You can't just leave it. Here, allow me." he said smoothly, crawling over to me and brushing my ponytail off my shoulder to reveal my collarbones.
He sighed as his fingers trailed along the cut, and tutted as I tried to pull away. "Just uhm....just sit still."
I obeyed and sat still like a statue, only squirming a little when he would apply pressure to the cut. He washed all the blood away, and soon enough he was finished, and he had placed a stupid plaster on my skin that only covered half of the cut.
"I'm sorry." he whispered, getting to his feet while he gave me a look of shame. "I just...I was acting on impulse, you know? You weren't my Lia when we fought. Instead you were an opponent, nearly an enemy." He shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably. "It's just the way I was trained. Trust nobody but yourself in a battle, I was once told."
I nodded understandably. Both of us were a little physically and mentally drained from the events that had previously taken place. I didn't blame him for what he did, for we had both been equally as vicious in the brawl.
"Don't become the person that you fear to become." I said quietly, my blue eyes blinking into his brown ones. "Breathe until the feeling passes. Count down the seconds until it disappears."
At my words, Alex's poise changed, and I could see his brain taking in what I had just said. I could see the dull look in his eyes clear up, and the mist about him vanish almost instantly.
"Okay." was all he said, but that was enough for me at the time. I stood up and gave him a small smile, not enough to light up the world, but enough to let him know that everything was alright. I think he was glad of the smile.
"You're a good fighter, Lia. And I'm not just saying that." he sighed as we walked together, his hand so close that I could almost reach out and take it in mine. I didn't though, and neither did he.
Instead I let the brunette with espresso eyes and a talent for gymnastics have his way. I didn't want to tell him that I couldn't handle myself, for it would bother him. I knew it would bother him. Make worry lines appear on his forehead.
So I just laughed and said,
"I know."
~
Do you feel proud of the mask you have created for yourself, Alex? Are you proud that you fooled me into thinking that you cared, that you actually fucking cared?
I was a pawn piece in your chessboard of life, wasn't I? I was just a useless little pawn that you didn't even really need in the end.
Is that why you did what you did? Is that why you tangled me in a web of your lies before everything went to Hell?
You became what you feared you would become, Alex. You failed. You failed just like every other person out there in this screwed up world.
I cant believe you failed.
Especially when I had so much faith in you.
~
Chapter Dedicated To: @TheIrrelevantWriter for that barakitty icon and because we all love you vvvv much. Where do I begin? I mean, wow you're just a fab lil' cupcake. Let's celebrate! *balloons fall from the ceiling as poppin' champagne plays*
a/n: Today's achievement: I made a chocolate cake and it actually turned out alright! I mean, I would be one who would burn down a kitchen while trying to make toast so it's a big improvement.
Of course it's useless info, but ya know someday we should have a chocolate cake party.