Sam hadn't slept in days. He had gotten hit by a car, and was now in a mental hospital.
Dean went to see if he was okay.
I stayed at Rufus' Cabin, making calls, trying to find anything that would help Sam. "Ness Singer-Winchester. Yeah, Bobby's daughter. I'm looking for some info. If you could, uh, call me back. 785-555-0128. Thanks."
I hung up, sighing, crossing the name off.
~~~~~~
I spoke on the phone sarcastically. "I am so sorry to have bothered you."
I crossed another name off his list, making it eight names that were crossed off.
~~~~~~
I sighed, on the phone again, again with another dead end. "Yeah. Thanks."
I hung up, crossing out another name, closing the journal, picking up a smaller journal, tossing the smaller journal onto a table, walking to the refrigerator, taking out a can.
The journal fell to the floor.
I walked closer, picking it up. A business card for Mackey's Taxidermy had fallen out. On the back was a cell phone number.
I made the call. "Yeah, hi. Uh... Mackey. This is Ness. I'm, uh, looking for some info. If you could call me back at 785-555-0128. Thanks."
I hung up, sighing.
~~~~~~
I was doing a search on the laptop, bringing up the 'Amazing Grace Helping Friends' website. My phone rang. I saw it was the number that I had called, Mackey, answering. "This is Ness."
"Mackey. Calling you back. Hey, real sorry about Bobby."
"Yeah, me too."
"Look, what you call about? I might have something for you. There's this guy. He goes by 'Emmanuel.' He kind of roams. First started hearing about him a couple of months back. How he was healing the sick, curing the crazy."
"Uh-huh."
"Naturally, I think something in the milk ain't clean. Find this sucker, punch his clock. Right?"
"Right."
"Heard the best way to get to him is through his wife, Daphne, out in Colorado? So, I go. Tell her I'm going blind. It's true. My right eye's burnt out. She says, 'Go home. He'll come.' So, I go. I set every trap, every test in the book."
"That's what I would have done."
"Emmanuel shows. He passes every one. There ain't nothing weird about this guy. Except... he's the real deal."
"What do you mean?"
"He touched me, and my eye was fixed. Look, I don't believe in much that don't suck your blood. But I wouldn't call you on a maybe."
I nodded to myself.
~~~~~~
Dean and I walked up the stairs to the front door of the address Mackey gave us.
"You sure this is the house?" Dean asked.
"As sure as I can be," I answered, knocking on the door. A man opened the door. "Hi. Uh, is this, uh, Daphne Allen's house? We're looking for Emmanuel."
"Well, you found him," the man told us. "Daphne's resting. If you don't mind."
"Oh, yeah, sure," I told him.
Emmanuel stepped outside onto the porch, closing the door.
"Um..." Dean trailed off. "So, we were hoping, uh..."
Dean looked into one of the windows, hitting my shoulder lightly.
I followed his gaze to see a woman who was bound to a chair, gagged.
We looked at Emmanuel.
Emmanuel's eyes turned black, revealing that he wasn't really Emmanuel. He gripped either of our throats. "You were saying, Dean?"
"You know, I'd think twice," Dean told him. "Or don't you know that your boss issued a hands-off memo?"
The demon laughed. "Please. What have you done for him lately? Roman's head on a plate? No? Whatever Emmanuel is, Crowley's gonna want him, a lot more than he wants you these days."
I looked at him angrily, struggling out of his grip, punching him in the face, making him let Dean go. Dean grabbed the demon, turning around, pushing him against a support beam on the porch. I drew Ruby's knife, stabbing the demon in the heart, killing him, making him flash with red, taking the knife out. Dean pushed the demon down the stairs.
A man was standing at the bottom of the stairs.
We looked at the body of Jimmy Novak, Castiel's vessel in shock.
Castiel looked at us. "What was that?"
Dean and I were too shocked to move or respond.
~~~~~~
Inside, Castiel removed the gag and ropes binding the woman named Daphne. "That creature hurt you."
"I'm okay," Daphne told him. "But, Emmanuel... They were looking for you."
"It's okay," Castiel told her. He turned to Dean and me. "I'm Emmanuel."
Castiel held his hand toward us.
Dean shook it. "Dean. This is my wife, Ness."
"Thank you for protecting mine," Castiel told us.
"Your wife," I told him. "Right."
"I saw his face," Castiel told us. "His real face."
"He was a demon," Dean explained.
"A demon walked the Earth?" Castiel asked.
"Demons," Dean answered. "Whackloads of them. You don't know about..."
Daphne looked at Castiel. "You saw the demon's true face." She looked at Dean and me. "Emmanuel has very special gifts."
"Yeah," I agreed. "We—We've heard that about... Emmanuel." I looked at Castiel. "That you can heal people up."
"I seem to be able to help to a certain degree," Castiel told us. Dean and I looked at each other, still in shock. "What's your issue?"
Dean looked at Castiel. "My brother."
~~~~~~
After dark, I was driving my car. Dean was passenger seat. Castiel was in the back.
I looked at Castiel in the rearview mirror. "So, Daphne. Is that, uh, your wife?"
"She found me and cared for me," Castiel explained.
"Meaning?" Dean asked.
"Oh, it's a... strange story," Castiel told us. "You may not like it."
"Believe me, we will," Dean told him.
"A few months ago, she was hiking by the river, and I wandered into her path, drenched and confused, and... unclothed," Castiel explained. "I had no memory. She said... God wanted her to find me."
"So who named you Emmanuel?" I asked.
"Bouncybabynames.com," Castiel answered.
"Well, it's working for you," I told him. "Must be weird not knowing who you are."
"Well, it's my life," Castiel told us. "And it's a good life."
"Yeah, well, what if you were some kind of... I don't know... bad guy?" Dean asked.
"Dean," I told him.
Dean ignored me, looking at Castiel.
"Oh, I... don't feel like a bad person," Castiel told us.
Dean and I exchanged a look.
~~~~~~
Castiel broke the silence, looking at Dean. "So, your brother..."
"Sam," Dean answered.
"Sam," Castiel repeated. "What's his diagnosis?"
"Well, it's not exactly medical," Dean told him.
"That should be fine," Castiel told us. "I can cure illness of a spiritual origin."
"Spiritual?" Dean repeated. "Okay. Someone did this to him."
"You're angry," Castiel realized.
"Well, yeah," Dean answered. "Dude broke my brother's head."
"He betrayed you, this dude?" Castiel asked. We didn't answer. "He was your friend?"
"Yeah, well, he's gone," Dean told him.
"Did you kill him?" Castiel asked. "I sense that you kill a lot of people."
"Honestly, I—I—I don't know if he is dead," I told him. "I just know that this... whole thing couldn't be messier."
"You know, I used to be able to just shake this stuff off," Dean told us. "You know, whatever it was. It might take me some time, but... I always could. What Cas did... I just can't. I don't know why."
"Well, it doesn't matter why," I told him.
"Of course it matters," Dean told me.
"No," I told him. "You're not a machine, Dean. You're human."
Castiel hesitated. "His name was Cas? That's an odd name."
I exhaled, not knowing what to do.
~~~~~~
I pulled us up to a gas station the next day. "Dean, I got to talk to you." I looked at Castiel. "Just, uh, sit tight. We'll be right out, okay?" Castiel nodded. Dean and I got out of the car, walking into the gas station. "Dean..."
Dean turned to face me. "How the hell is he alive?"
"Do I look like I have a clue?" I asked. I looked at Dean for a moment. "Are you okay?" Dean shook his head, looking away. "What are you trying to do? Trying to get him to remember?"
"We have to get him to remember somehow," Dean told me.
"And what if he can't?" I asked. "What if he's stuck as Emmanuel for the rest of his life and he freaks out when he learns the truth and bails when all of these demons are after him? He's not safe out there alone, Dean. Not when he doesn't remember who he is."
Dean sighed, knowing I was right, nodding.
We heard the door open.
I looked up at a mirror to see a man walking toward us, taking out Ruby's knife.
The man pushed Dean into a refrigerator, shattering its glass door.
I ran up behind the demon, stabbing him in the back, in the heart, killing him, making light flash from the body, taking out the knife, letting the body fall to the floor.
Dean picked up his phone, seeing that the screen was broken. "Oh, come on."
"You okay?" I asked.
"Yes, I'm okay," Dean answered.
Dean and I walked to the next aisle of the store, finding two more demons waiting for us.
I raised the knife, slashing toward one of them. The demon blocked the move, twisting my wrist, making me drop the knife, pushing me against the wall.
Dean punched the other demon. The demon pushed Dean into some shelves, making him fall to the floor.
Someone stabbed the demon fighting against Dean from behind, killing him, making light flash from its face.
The demon restraining me against the wall let me go, smoking out, disappearing, the host falling to the floor.
I turned to face Dean and the one who stabbed the other.
"Emmanuel, you son of a bitch," Dean told him.
The other demon fell to the floor.
Meg had been the one to stab him, holding Ruby's knife. "Emmanuel? Yeah, not so much."
I sighed. "Meg."
"Ness, Ness, Ness," Meg told me. "You got some 'splainin' to do."
~~~~~~
Dean turned the sign on the door around so it read closed, pulling down the blinds.
Meg looked from Dean to me. "Rumors are really starting to fly about you two. Took you long enough to get hitched." I looked at her in annoyance. "Oh, and this Emmanuel fellow. My curiosity sure got revved up."
"Just tell us what you want, Meg," I told him.
"Imagine my surprise when I tracked you two, followed you to Emmanuel's," Meg told us. "And he's the spitting image of poor, dead Castiel. So, guys, what's poor, dead Castiel doing in that beauty out there?"
"Christmas caroling," Dean told her sarcastically.
"Fun," Meg told us. "But how's he alive? Last I heard, he played God, went poof."
"We don't know," I told her. "And neither does he, so you got to keep it shut."
"Oh, I do?" Meg asked.
"He doesn't know he's Cas," I told her.
"I know," Meg told us. "Been watching you for hours. So, here's the deal. You might remember Crowley and me were frosty back in the day. Well, times haven't changed."
"Good," Dean told her.
"That hurts my feelings," Meg told him. "I've been good to you, Dean."
"No, you've been good to you, sweetheart," Dean told her.
"Look," Meg told us. Dean took some items from the shelves, putting them in his jacket. "Right now, rumors of this wandering healers are strictly low-level. But body count's getting high enough to change that. Folks start poking, they sniff angel dust."
"Yeah, they start falling all over each other trying to tell Crowley," I told them.
"Now picture Crowley with his hands on harmless little amnesia-Cas," Meg told us. "Don't get me wrong. I'm gonna burn that smarmy dick. My time's coming. But right about now, my army-of-one situation is not cutting it. It's cold out here, there's a price on my ass, and I need friends."
"Yeah," Dean told her. "We get that. But we ain't it."
"That's where you're wrong, Dean," Meg told him. "'Cause I'm here to help you, and that makes us friends."
"Help, huh?" I repeated. "You mean see if you can't turn harmless little Cas out there into an angel-sized weapon?"
"Like you're taking him caroling," Meg replied. "And by the way, you really want to keep going with no backup? Hey, I don't trust you two, either. But I could really use Emmanuel. And he trusts you. So, for now, it's in everyone's best interests to hold hands and cross the street together, okay?"
Dean and I exchanged a look, knowing that we had no other choice.
Dean looked at Meg. "We go straight to Sam. No detours."
"I love it," Meg told us.
"And one more thing," Dean told her. "My knife."
Meg held up the bloodstained demon knife.
Dean took it from her, walking toward the door.
"You sure we wouldn't be safer traveling with a full-throttle angel?" Meg asked. "I could jog his memory." I gave her a look. "Kidding! We wouldn't want to upset the poor guy."
Dean, Meg and I walked outside, toward Castiel, who was standing outside of the Mustang.
Castiel looked at Meg in horror. "Her face! She's one of—"
"It's okay," Meg told him. "We come in different flavors."
"She's, uh... a friend," Dean told him.
"Meg," Meg told him. "Just here for moral support. I mean, after all, we got way back." I gave her a look. Meg looked at me smugly, looking at Castiel. "Dean, Ness and me. Just met you, of course. But I think we're gonna be good friends, too."
"All right," I told them. "Can we go?"
I walked toward the driver's seat.
~~~~~~
After dark, I was still driving. Dean was in the passenger seat. Meg was behind Dean. Castiel was behind me.
"This silence is very uncomfortable," Castiel told us. "Is there something I should know?"
"I don't know," Meg told him. "Dean?"
"No," Dean told them. "Meg has that effect. Awkward. You know?"
Castiel looked at Meg. "that must be difficult for you."
"Dean's making a joke, Emmanuel," Meg told him.
"Oh," Castiel told us.
"Don't be so sure about that," I told them.
Meg gave me a look.
I ignored her, continuing to drive.
~~~~~~
I drove up to the hospital where Sam was, turning the engine off, getting out of the car.
A number of people were standing around the emergency entrance to the hospital.
I walked around the car, joining Dean, Castiel and Meg.
Castiel looked toward the people in front of the hospital. "Oh, gracious."
Dean looked through binoculars at the people.
"Damn it," Meg told us. "Demons."
"All of them?" Dean asked.
"No grass growing under your feet," Meg told us.
'How many of those knives do you have?" Castiel asked.
"Just the one," I answered.
"Well, then, forgive me, but what do we do?" Castiel asked.
"Yeah, Dean," Meg told him. "Got any other ideas how we could blast through that?"
"Excuse us," Dean told him. "Meg? Ness?"
"Oh, for the love of..." I trailed off.
Dean led us toward the trunk.
"Sam's in there," Meg told us. "I know you're enjoying the double dip with your old pal, but—"
"You think it's that cut and dry?" Dean asked. "Really? You know what he did. And you want to tell him and just hope that he takes it in stride? He could snap. He could... disappear. Who knows?"
Castiel walked closer. "I gather we know each other."
"Just a dollop," Meg told him.
"You can tell me," Castiel told us. "I'll be fine."
"How do you know?" I asked. "You just met yourself. We've known you for years."
"You're an angel," Meg told him.
"I'm sorry?" Castiel asked. "Is that a flirtation?'
"No, it's a species," Meg answered. "A very powerful one."
"She's not lying," I told him. "Okay? That's why you heal people. You don't eat. You don't sleep. I'm sure there's more."
"Why wouldn't you tell me?" Castiel asked. "Being an angel... it sounds pleasant."
"It's not, trust me," Dean told him. "It's bloody, it's corrupt. It's not pleasant."
"They would know," Meg told him. "You used to fight together. Bestest friends, actually."
"We're... friends?" Castiel asked. "Am I Cas?" Dean and I didn't answer, exchanging a look, sighing. "I—I had no idea. I don't remember you. I'm sorry."
"Look," Meg told him. "You got the juice. You can smite every demon in that lot."
"But I don't remember how," Castiel told us.
"It's in there," Dean told him. "I'm sure it's just like riding a bike."
"I don't know how to do that, either," Castiel told us. He hesitated. "All right. I'll try."
Castiel walked toward the parking lot.
"This ain't gonna go well," I told them.
Meg sighed, watching him go. "I don't know. I believe in the little tree topper."
Castiel walked toward the demons.
"Hey, I know you," one of the demons told him. "You're dead."
"Yes, I've heard," Castiel told him, grabbing the demon by the front of his shirt, putting a hand on the demon's head, smiting him, killing him with a flash of bright white light, letting him fall to the ground.
Castiel placed either of his hands on two demons' heads, smiting them, killing them with flashes of bright white light, letting them fall to the ground.
Meg smirked barely. "That's my boy."
One of the demons tried to run away.
Castiel appeared in front of him. "I don't think running will save you."
Castiel put a hand to the demon's head, smiting him, killing him with a flash of bright white light, letting him fall to the ground.
Dean, Meg and I walked toward Castiel.
"That was beautiful, Clarence," Meg told him.
"Cas?" Dean asked.
"I remember you," Castiel told us, turning to face us. "I remember everything."
~~~~~~
"What I did," Castiel told us. "What I became. Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because Sam is dying in there," Dean answered.
"Because of me," Castiel told us. "Everything. All these people. I shouldn't be here."
Castiel walked away.
"Cas," Dean told him. "Cas!" He looked at Meg. "You stay here." He looked at me. "Make sure she doesn't get us into more trouble." He followed Castiel. "Cas!"
~~~~~~
A demon had been inside, trying to kill Sam when Castiel had saved him.
We brought Sam back to his room, standing nearby.
Castiel said he couldn't fix Sam.
"What the hell do you mean, you can't?" Dean asked.
"I mean, there's nothing left to rebuild," Castiel answered.
"Why not?" Dean asked.
"Because it crumbled," Castiel answered. "The pieces got crushed to dust by whatever's happening inside his head right now."
"So you're saying there's nothing?" I asked. "That he's gonna be like this until his candle blows out?"
"I'm sorry," Castiel told us. "This isn't a problem I can make disappear. And you know that." I sighed, turning away. "But I may be able to shift it."
I turned to Castiel. "Shift?"
"Yeah, it would get Sam back on his feet," Castiel told us, slowly sitting next to Sam on the bed. "It's better this way. I'll be fine."
Sam flinched.
"Wait, Cas," I told him. "What are you doing?"
Castiel didn't answer, looking at Sam. "Now, Sam... This may hurt. And if I can't tell you again... I'm sorry I ever did this to you."
Castiel put a hand on Sam's head.
Sam groaned in pain, his face and eyes glowing red.
The red traveled up Castiel's arm and face, his eyes turning red.
Sam groaned in pain, gasping for breath.
"Sam?" Dean asked, walking around the bed to the other side.
"Dean," Sam told him.
I walked closer. "Sam?"
Sam looked at Castiel. "Cas? Cas, is that you?"
Castiel stood, backing away in horror.
Sam, Dean and I looked at each other in confusion.
Castiel had taken Sam's pain, his hallucinations... everything.
But now he had to deal with it.
~~~~~~
Sam, Dean and I walked out of the hospital.
"I don't know," I told them. "I mean, we can't just leave him."
"Well, we can't bring him with us," Dean told us. "Everything on the planet's out for us, okay? Word gets out, we can't protect him. Not really. This is safer." We stood at our normal places at my car. "Every demon who knows about Cas is dead."
"Not everyone," Sam told us. "Look, guys, this whole 'enemy of my enemy is my friend' thing feels kind of like a demon deal."
"It's not a deal," Dean told us. "It's—"
"It's what?" Sam asked.
"Mutually assured destruction," Dean answered. "Look, man, I get it. She's not our friend. We don't even have friends. All our friends are dead."
Dean got into the car in the passenger seat.
I looked toward the hospital, knowing that we were leaving Cas here in the protection of Meg, getting into the driver's seat.