It's graduation day, I'm standing in line with my long blue gown and that stupid hat that has the long tassel that won't stay out of my face. I'm bored as I wait in line, so I keep blowing on the yellow thing watching it fly up and then hit me in the face again. Finally my turn comes up and I'm so consumed with blowing on my tassel that I barely hear them when they announce my name. I rush up on stage, shake a bunch of hands and then get my diploma.
I finally have it, the one thing I've been working for my entire life. I am at the top of my class, everything is going just as planned. I look out into the crowd and see my friends at the back, they all look so punk with their ripped skinny jeans, band t-shirts, and piercings. They don't have seats, they just stand at the back with Jenna taking pictures the entire time I'm on stage. They holler and clap the loudest when I come on. I smile big, because it's so good to see them here. They get weird looks from the adults surrounding them; the adults in tuxes and fancy dresses with perfect hair and money coming out of their butts.
I make my way down and take a seat next to George, he smiles at me and leans over to tell me congratulations. We listen to the Valedictorian give a speech about the good we can do in this world and how we can contribute to society, blah, blah, blah. We all clap as he comes down to join us. The principal comes up and tells us congratulations on graduating. Then, we take our caps off and throw them in the air; all cheering and clapping as the caps rain down on us. After that, we go to the back and find our family and friends. I don't know if my parents will be here, but my friends and Sandra show up. They all look so proud.
Sandra comes up and first and envelops me in a big hug. "I'm so proud of you Samantha, you're so smart." She has tears in her eyes, wiping them when she pulls away from me.
"Thank you, Sandra for everything." I say.
She just hugs me again and starts crying which makes me tear up. I wipe away the few that slipped down my face and walk two feet over to my friends. Chris comes over and picks me up, spinning me around.
"I'm so proud of you, babe." He says and kisses me.
"Our girl has graduated!" Ian yells and comes over to hug me. I stumble back a bit at the impact, laughing along.
"So proud of you." Scott says.
"EEEEEPPPP I feel like just yesterday I met you and now I'm married and you've graduated." Jenna says. Jesse and Jenna hug me too.
We all leave and head to a McDonalds a few blocks down from the school. I get a giant hamburger with the largest thing of fries I can buy. We sit around at the deserted McDonalds talking, there is only one employee working, and no one else around. It almost feels like those times that we had spent at our Safe Haven.
"So what now?" Scott asks me.
"What do you mean?"
"What are you going to do with your future?"
"I'm going to be a music teacher." I say smiling.
"Really?" Chris asks.
"Yeah, when we were talking awhile back you mentioned it, and then we went to see your old teacher and I saw how those kids looked up to him. I want to share music with kids, and I just want to have a job that revolves around music."
He smiles. "That sounds good."
"So when do you guys graduate?" I ask.
"We have the ceremony next week." Ian says.
"You're all graduating right?"
"Not ALL of us." Scott says and looks over at Ian.
"What?" Ian's face turns red. "Look, I just don't find school that interesting."
"But you were the one who was always doing homework." I said.
"Not this last year." Jenna says and gives him that disappointed mother look.
Ian sighs. "One more year and then I'm done forever."
"Why don't you just drop out?" Jesse asks.
"Jesse don't encourage him!" Jenna whispers.
Ian laughs. "I would, but I want to finish high school at least, just to support my little sisters."
"If you ever need help with homework, you can always call me." I say.
"Thanks." He smiles.
"Ok, we should get home. I want to make it back before tomorrow night." Jenna says.
"Why?" Chris asks.
"I'm starting a job, tomorrow night is when I start." She replies.
"Nice, where are you working?" I ask.
"This really old bookstore, the pay is crap but it looks like fun."
"Alright, let's go." Sandra says.
We make our way back to the white van that Sandra rented out for this week and we all get in. Scott tries to put on The Who, but Sandra won't let him. She changes it to Taylor Swift and we all sit in the back trying to block out the songs. She's good, but we aren't country/pop fans.
We end up falling asleep, Sandra driving and Taylor Swift playing softly in the background. Around seven in the morning, I wake up to the car stopped at a gas station. I sit up, confused for a second and then realize where I am. Scott is now driving, so he gets out to put more fuel in the car. I look around and see that everyone is sleeping except Jenna. She is looking at her stomach, rubbing it with a worried look in her eyes.
"Is your stomach feeling ok?" I ask.
She looks up, slightly startled and nods. "Yeah..." She looks over at everyone and then out at Scott. "Can we take a walk?"
"Sure." I whisper and we walk out. We tell Scott we'll be back in ten minutes and then walk around the deserted sidewalks. "What's wrong?"
"Ok...well..." She sighs. "It's been about a month since I've gotten my period and I wasn't sure at first what it was I thought maybe I was sick or something, but I started to notice how I couldn't suck in my stomach, it would just...grow. Anyway...I figured I should take a pregnancy test and well..."
"Your pregnant?" I say smiling.
She nods but she looks like she's going to be sick. "I'm not ready for a kid Sam. I can't do this now." She starts crying.
"Oh Jenna." I hug her and let her cry for a while. "Jenna, you and Jesse are going to be great parents. You know what not to do for sure, and you love each other so much, it's going to be exciting to raise that baby."
"He's so stressed already just with the two of us living together. What is he going to do when he finds out I'm pregnant?"
"He's going to deal with it and soon he'll come around. Why haven't you told him yet?"
"I don't want to scare him or stress him out until I absolutely have to." She pauses. "Can I just tell him I'm getting fat and then only let him know when the kid comes out?"
I laugh. "I don't think he'll buy that."
She sighs. "Why can't he be stupid! That's all I want in life!" We start walking back.
"Jenna, you need to let him know. He has to prepare for this."
"Yeah, I guess. I'm so scared for his reaction."
"He'll be happy about it in the end. He wanted this, a marriage, a life with you. He'll get excited."
"Let's hope so."
"Do any of the other guys know?"
"Just Scott, when you're not around he's my go-to guy for advice."
"What did he say?"
"Basically what you did."
"So that makes me right, so now you have to tell Jesse."
She shakes her head. "I don't know."
"Do you want me to do it?"
She gives me a death glare. "Over my dead body."
I laugh and we try to squeeze back into the car. Scott gets back in with a bag of food and wakes Jesse up so he can drive. Jesse kisses Jenna and then switches with Scott. We dig into the food now that we're awake. It's quiet, we don't want to wake anyone else up but I want to know everything about this new found pregnancy.
We drive for a few more hours when everyone starts waking up again. Chris's head has been on my shoulder for the last few hours and his head snuggles into my neck and he mumbles something incoherent.
"What?" I ask.
"Can we get fries?"
I laugh. "When we stop for lunch."
"When will that be?"
"In an hour."
"Ugh I hate mornings." Ian says, rubbing his eyes.
"Well good morning sleeping beauty." Jenna says.
"Good morning pregnant lady." He says and then looks wide eyed at the seat in front of him.
"What?" Jenna whispers, her face growing pale.
"Nothing. I'm...not a morning person." He whispers.
Jenna looks at Jesse and he seems oblivious, so she slumps in the seat and continues to eat her energy bar. We don't say much after that, we just wait until the next stop. When we get out, Jenna grabs Ian and they head off to go behind the restaurant.
"Oh, Ian wants to steal your girl." Scott says.
Jesse laughs. "I would like to see him try."
We walk in and order and the only thing Chris wants is fries. He keeps jumping up and down and asking me for them.
"We'll get them in a few minutes, chill." I say, patting his arm.
"But I want them noooooow." He whines.
"What is wrong with you? Do you need coffee?"
He shakes his head. "I need fries."
I sigh. "You're impossible."
He smiles. "I know."
We finally get our food and he digs into the fries. He smiles with his mouth full and I can't help but laugh. Jenna and Ian have joined us by now. Jenna acts like everything is good and fine but I can see her smile isn't real. Jesse can tell too. He gives giving her a confused look but she won't talk about it. The poor guy is so confused.
The rest of the day is uneventful, lots of singing and sleeping. We drop Jenna, Jesse, Scott, Ian, and Chris off. I'm about to get out too when Sandra stops me.
"Your parents want to see you."
"Really?" I say and cross my arms. "They didn't even come to my graduation."
"They had to work."
"Yeah, that's their excuse for everything. I'm not interested in seeing them. They sent me away instead of working it out with me. I decided to cut them out of my life the day I left."
Sandra tilts her head to the side. "It's not that easy to cut family out of your life."
"It is that easy. This last year I got a job. I am going to pay for college, I don't need them anymore."
"College is thousands of dollars."
"I'm going to a junior college."
"You don't belong in a junior college." She sighs.
"It doesn't matter, I don't have any more money. That's all I can afford."
"Just talk to your parents." She says.
"No. Thank you for coming to the graduation. It was good to see you again, we should get together soon." I get out, ending the conversation.
She sighs. "We should, I'll call you."
"Um... call Jenna and Jesse, Chris and I don't have a phone."
She raises her eyebrows. "You're living with him?"
"Nothing has happened." I say, my face turning red. "I'm basically rooming with him. It's not romantic."
"Why don't you come stay with me? You won't have to worry about it getting romantic."
"No, I'm ok. Thanks though." She nods and drives away. I know she isn't happy with these choices, but this is my decision. I feel Chris slip his arm around my waist.
"Ready to go home?" He asks.
I nod and we head home with Scott and Ian. Scott drops us off and Chris orders a pizza. I'm unpacking my stuff when he comes into the bedroom. He opens the closet and smiles. Half of it has been cleared for me.
"Aw, there's closet space for me!" I hug him.
He laughs. "I figured you would need it."
"Thank you." I kiss him. His hands curl around my waist and my hands travel to his hair. I can feel my stomach twist, he makes me jittery. I pull away and start putting clothes in the closet. I turn to him, he seems disappointed, just like every time when I stop the kissing.
"We need to talk about...things..." I say, forgetting to unpack.
He raises his eyebrows. "Things?"
"Well...we are dating. And we live together. Don't you think something's going to end up happening?"
He shrugs. "Yeah, but I know when it does that you'll want to."
I shake my head. "I'm set on my decision and I don't want to go into it because of a moment of weakness."
He smirks, brushing some of my hair back behind my ear. "I make you feel weak?"
I pull his hand away, that crazy in-love, lustful feeling is in my stomach again. "This is why."
He sighs. "So then what do we do?"
"Maybe we should set some rules in place?"
"Rules?" He smiles. "I was never good at following the rules."
He kisses me and for a moment I forget what I was talking about. I pull away, and sit farther away from him. "I mean it. If we are just going to make out all the time, something is going to happen."
He sighs. "Ok, so what rules?"
"No making out."
"What?"
"Well we aren't the type to do it in public so the only place we will do it is here. So we can't do that."
"Sam...I love you...but that's crazy."
"Well then maybe I shouldn't live here. I really just want to wait. And I can barely get through some conversations with you without you trying to kiss me."
"Is that a crime?"
"No, but can we just agree to that?"
He sighs. "We can never make out?"
"Not when we're alone."
"Fine." He pauses. "Let's go to Jesse and Jenna's place."
I laugh. "It's dinner time and she has to work."
"Jesse will be there. Nothing will happen if Jesse is there."
I get up and start unpacking my clothes again. He hugs me from behind. "What is with you tonight?" I ask, laughing.
"I just miss you." He whispers, kissing my neck.
I turn around. "Chris, I'm serious."
"Do you not want to kiss me?"
"Of course I do! But...it scares me ok?"
"Sex scares you?"
"Yeah, well I've never done it before."
He smiles. "It's not that hard."
"I know, but you've been with a bunch of girls and the most I've done is kiss."
"You're good at it."
"Chris, I mean it."
He laughs. "Alright, I get it." There is a knock at the door and Chris grabs his wallet and walks out to go answer it.
I sigh, so thankful for the pizza delivery man. I put a few more things away and then join Chris out in the living room to eat. We watch the avengers and finish the whole pizza in about ten minutes, inhaling it more than eating it. Chris has dropped the subject thankfully so we just talk the rest of the night before heading off to bed. But I can tell that it's hard for him not to kiss me, and it's hard for me too. Lots of times I just want to forget the talking but I know that if I want this to work we can't do it here.
Sandra calls me the next day asking me to meet her at the Starbucks in town so we can talk. So Chris and I get ready and head to the bus stop. Chris is going to ride over to Adam's place for work. And one of the stops is near the Starbucks that Sandra and I are going to meet at.
Chris and I get off, and I was once again hoping to see the old couple but they aren't there. Chris walks me to the Starbucks to get his own coffee. I look around for Sandra and see she is with my parents.
"Oh no." I say and turn to Chris, trying to shield myself from them.
"What?" He whispers.
"My parents. They're here."
"Sam!" Sandra yells.
"Crap." I turn to see Sandra walking toward me. "What were you thinking I told you I didn't want to see them."
My parents are walking up, stiff and unfeeling. "It's for your own good and for your future."
"I don't want to use them like a cash machine, I want to cut ties."
"Too bad." She whispers and now my parents are standing next to Sandra.
"Hello Samantha." My mom says and nods her head.
"Hey." I say.
"Who are you?" My dad says to Chris and I see my mom looking him over, judging him. I just hold Chris's hand tighter. He squeezes my hand to let me know he's ok with this.
"I'm Chris." He holds out his hand and my father quickly shakes it. "I'm Sam's boyfriend."
"Really?" My dad says in a disapproving tone.
"Yes sir, you've done a great job of raising her. She's the best thing that has happened to me."
"I see." My mom says and looks at me. "And what about you?"
"What?"
"Is this really the kind of guy you want to be with? He wears skinny jeans and his shirt is sponsoring some punk band. Do you even go to school?" She says to him.
He nods. "Yes ma'am."
"And do you plan on going to college?"
"Yes ma'am."
"And where exactly?"
"Just a junior college around here, I don't have much money."
"See? Do you really want to be with someone like that? A junior college? To do what? Probably throw his life away on drugs." My mother looks him up and down again in disgust.
"This is why I refuse to have anything to do with you. You treat everyone like trash! Not that you care, but I love him. And he has treated me like a princess, better than you two ever did. I'm leaving, good seeing you again." I say and drag Chris outside with me.
"Sam, you didn't have to-"
"Of course I did! Do you see the way they look at people! You have no money and suddenly you're this awful person who has no future and is so stupid! Ugh, I hate those people! All they do is work and bring in the cash and gloat about it! They don't have hearts or feelings, they-"
"Sam, stop." He grans my arms and holds me in place. "Yeah, they are awful. But don't judge them too harshly. We've all done awful things. They just haven't realized it yet."
"And they never will! They live in this privileged world of fancy cars and money. They don't care about anyone."
"Go back in there."
"What? After how they talked to you? Not even in an alternate universe will I go back in there."
He smiles. "I like that you're sticking up for me, but please. Your parents want to fix this with you. Let them."
I sigh, thinking for a few seconds. "I hate you." He smiles and kisses me.
"Be nice."
"I can't promise anything." I walk back in and see them sitting with their coffees looking all cold and distant. "What is this about? I'm not sticking around for long." I say, sitting down.
"We want to pay for college." My dad says.
"Why? You didn't even come to my graduation."
"We thought you didn't want us there." My mom says.
"That doesn't matter. You should have wanted to come. That was a huge deal and you didn't show up."
"We're sorry, we thought that's what you wanted." My mom whispers.
"You know, we wouldn't be in this situation if you would just be around for things. Important things in my life but you're too busy with work and making sure that you look good for everybody else. I can't stand that, you know there are other people around right?"
"Hey, we have provided for you for 18 years." My dad says, trying to keep his voice down.
"I don't want fancy cars and clothes and a giant house. I wanted my parents around! I needed you and I raised myself because you could care less."
They sit there silently, the fact that I don't want the luxury is foreign to them. "We're sorry." My mom says.
"Yeah, sure. The last time you tried to make amends it lasted for one night."
"We want to try again, are we not allowed second chances?" My mom asks.
"You had 18 years. It's over now. I don't want your money." I get up and ignore Sandra's objects to sit back down.
Who do they think they are? Suddenly I leave and now is when they want me back. I'm not going to play this game anymore, they had their shot and I'm tired of being disappointed.
___
YAY A CHAPTER. Ok, so I went to a 5sos concert and saw that Hey Violet has put out an EP called I Can Feel It, so check it out and buy that. And also for those of you crazy dedicated Luke Hemming fans know that he used to date a girl named Aleisha McDonald and I found out she has an EP and it's super good so check that out too. It's called Rhymes.
Let me know what you thought about this chapter! Have a good night/day/afternoon whatever time zone your in.