It was about to go down.
Karyn glowered at me, eyes red with rage, the damning evidence shaking in her head. My mother stood beside her, looking just as angry, even hurt. I stared at the picture in disbelief. Seriously? They thought Kaim and I got hitched behind their backs? They've come rolling into my house like posse after a criminal because they saw this picture and assumed the worst?
Didn't they know that this was from a bridal fashion show?
Didn't they know that Kaim and I were nowhere near ready for marriage?
Of course they didn't. They were here because they pissed for their own silly reasons. Karyn's reasons were transparent and superficial - her baby sister, her mortal enemy, appeared to marry before she did and she wasn't having it. She's always supposed to be the star of the show - she was the one meant to shine. Heaven help anymore who was ballsy enough to steal it from her. In turning into a blushing bride on the runway, kissing the man of my dreams, I'd inadvertantly stole her thunder and now, I had to pay the price.
If I had have know that participating in a fashion show would have brought me this much grief, I'd have talked my way out of it.
"I can't believe you would do this to me, Zara!" Karyn whined, sounding more like a dying feline than a human being. "What were you thinking? Do you even care about what this does to me? Are you just that selfish? Never mind, don't bother answering. I already know the answer."
This was really happening - an episode of "The Twilight Zone" taking place right in my living room. "You're serious. You're actually serious."
"What were you thinking, Zara?" My mother's icy tone cut me deep. "I don't know what's going on in that head of yours, but I know I raised you better than this. Running off and getting married to a man you've just met? Again, what were you thinking?"
I was thinking that they had no idea about the source of the photo. "I'm thinking there's a bit of a misunderstanding..."
"Oh, we understand perfectly, Zara - you ran off and get married to spite us!" Karyn spat out. In the corner of my eye, I saw Kaim rolling his eyes. "It was bad enough you went an embarrassed me in front of everyone at the dinner, but then you ran off and got married? Knowing that my special day is coming soon? You're a real piece of work, sis, you know that?"
She sure knew how to work my nerves. "Again, Karyn, there's an explanation for this..."
"Of course there is! You're a big fat, festering attention whore who thought she could steal my thunder!" Karyn's shrieking bounced off the walls of the apart before stabbing through my heart. My mother just stood there, quiet in her own fury as my sister readied herself for another attack. "And while you may have got the jump on me, you'd best remember that you'll always be a pot-belly big compared to me - "
"Don't you dare talk to Zara that way!" I looked over to Kaim, started by his angry roar. He looked damn pissed. "How dare you come in here, shrieking like a banshee in her apartment, by the way, throwing insults? Show some damn respect!"
"Nobody asked for your opinion, pretty boy!" My rage threatened to boil over and Karyn pointed one lone finger at Kaim, a look of disdain on her face. "This is a family matter, and we do NOT need your opinion. So you can step off!"
"You can forget about that!" Kaim spat back. "I'm not leaving Zara's side, and the last time I checked, I was more welcome here than you are."
"But we're her family!" my mother piped up. Oh, she's still here. "We were in her life way before you were, and we deserve some explanations!"
"Oh, now you're her family!" Kaim scoffed. A part of me wanted him to back off, but most of me enjoyed watching him stand up for me - the pissed off part. "Ah, now, I get it. Now, that she's gotten married and found happiness, suddenly you give a damn a damn about her life. I guess we should have gotten married sooner then."
My eyes flew open. "Kaim!"
"So, you admit it, then!" My mother's voice was so quiet with anger, it made me feel uneasy. "You two really are married? You two got married behind our backs?"
The smartest thing would have been to say no, explain that the picture's origins, then ask them to leave - apology or not. I felt this desire to assure my sister that her precious spotlight wasn't in danger of being stolen, and I wanted my mother to know what whatever relationship we had, I would never be so immature that I'd keep such a big secret from her - especially in a world were information is easily accessible via Facebook, Twitter, and even MySpace. I wanted to tell them that while Kaim and I were very happy, we weren't ready to take that step and when the time did arrive, they would be the first to know.
But then I thought to myself - these two women came into my house, throwing around baseless accusations off of a photo that came from who knows where, treating me like shit in my own house. I've spent years being respectful, turning the other cheek, even though they've done nothing to make me feel like I'm apart of their cozy knit group - their family. If Kaim hadn't come up here with me, there is no telling how far they'd go to cut me down. At the end of it all, there would probably be none of me left.
They didn't deserve answers, nor did they deserve my kindness.
So fuck them both.
"So what if we did?" I said with all the calmness I could muster. "So what if I got married to this wonderful man beside me? What the hell do you two care?"
"Z-Zara," my mom began, taken aback. "That's not..."
"True?" Bitterness saturated by laughter. "Please, Mom. We both know that I'm not fit to be a part of your little group there - both physically and emotionally. You and Karyn have been thick as thieves since the day I was born. It's always been about you two - and I've always been the interloper. Never mind that you brought me into this world and I didn't have a say in it."
"Watch your mouth, Zara!" Karyn growled. "Don't talk to Mom, like that!"
"And of course, my darling big sis jumps in, running her big fat mouth!" Now, it was Karyn's turn to stumble. "You know, you're right Karyn - I am a big girl and you're a skinny hot mess. But what you lack in size, your make up for in your inability to just shut the fuck up."
"You bitch!"
"Ah, ah, ah! That's 'Mrs. Bitch' to you, sis. Zara 'Mrs. Bitch' Harris." I turned to Kaim with a smirk. "Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"
"You better believe it does, wifey," he replied, not skipping a beat. "I'll never get tired of hearing it, babe."
"Of course you won't." I turned back to Karyn, on a roll. "And you, big sis, can not only shove your righteousness up your ass, you can kiss my big fat one. I'm a grown ass woman and I can do whatever the hell I want. I don't have to answer to either one of you, especially since my personal life has never interested you before." My eyes narrowed. "I bet if this happened after your silly wedding, you wouldn't give two shits about who I got married to. I could get married to a corpse, and you wouldn't care so long as it didn't have an effect on your miserable little life."
"My life isn't miserable!" Karyn looked like she would pounce at any moment. I stood my ground - I was ready for a roll across the floor. "My life is so much better than your pathetic little life. You wish you had my life."
"Yeah, sis, I wish I had your bitchiness, your cattiness, your sour face, and your inability to light the hell up! I'm just so envious of you!" I was still quite pissed at them, but it felt good to let my feelings out. "Every day, I think to myself that I wish I could be just like my big sister Karyn, walking around town with something stuck up her ass, having so much going for her and being too much of a bitter old cow to appreciate it."
"That's enough, Zara!" My mother hissed. "I will not have you speaking like that to your sister in front of me - "
"Oh, are you still here?" I glared at my mother. For all my sister's bitchiness, I found myself angrier with her. I was her daughter, too, yet she allowed Karyn to poison her mind against me. One phone call to me, and the truth would have been cleared up. But Karyn had always been her precious one. "You were so quiet back there NOT asking questions and NOT having an open mind that I forgot you were there. My mistake!"
"Mom, don't let her talk to you like that!" Karyn screeched.
"I will talk to both of you however I want because this is my fucking house!" I roared back. As I watched the two of them shrink back, I knew that the ball was in my court. Knowing that Kaim really had my back made me even stronger. "And I can't believe that you'd have so little faith in me, Mom. Yeah, I know I'm not like your precious perfect Karyn, but I am a good person and I have some damn sense. Yours on the other hand is questionable, because you let this woman here, who clearly doesn't like me, twist your head! But that's how it's always been, isn't it? All Karyn has to say is 'jump' and not only will you do it, you'll cry out 'yes ma'am' in mid-air!"
"What are you talking about?" Confused began to break through my mother's stern features. "It's not like that at all! Can't you see how concerned about you we are?"
"Psh, you have a funny way of showing it!" I replied, incredulous.
"Well, we are!" my mom continued. "I knew it would a little weird, with your sister and I getting married around the same time, but I didn't think it would make you so crazy that you'd get married to a man you just met!"
"Never mind that he loves me and takes damn good care of me. Never mind that he makes me very happy."
"Gordon made me happy from day one, but that didn't mean I went running with him to the altar. You're an adult, Zara, not some lovesick teenager! You should know better than that. And to think if Karyn hadn't shown me the picture....
"Karyn? Karyn showed you the picture?" I threw back my head, laughing. Kaim shook his head, getting in a few chuckles himself. "Oh now, now, it makes sense. Now, I know I'm going to enjoy and savor this. This is going to be awesome."
"There is nothing awesome about this, Zara!" Any moment now, I expected blood to flow from my ears. "Can't you see how much pain you've caused Mom. You really are a selfish - "
"Tell me, Mom, where did Karyn say she found this photo?" I kept my focus on my mother. I wanted to see the exact moment where she realized what a gullible idiot she was. "Try to remember now - it's really important."
"Ah, what does it matter where it came from?" Karyn sensed I was on to her. Good - she deserved to sweat! "You're in the wrong here! You need to make it right!"
"Nobody's talking to you, Karyn!" I placed a finger to my lips, shushing her. I turned back to my mother, giving her the interrogation eyes. "Now, tell me, Mom. Where did Karyn say she got this pic from?"
"I don't see what that has to do anything, Zara," my mom answered.
"Humor me," I replied with a flat voice. "Where did she find the picture - "
"Come on, Mom, let's go!" Karyn grabbed a hold of my mother's arm, looking at the front door It was all coming together now - she knew more than she was telling. Knowing her, she probably was aware of the source of the photo and used it as another way to interfere with my life. Not that it excused my mother's behavior, though. It just put everything into context. "It's clear that she doesn't give a damn about what she's done or how it's ruined everything. Talking to her is a waste of time."
"Funny, I was about to say the same thing about the two of you," I snapped. "Dealing with the two of you is a waste of time. No matter what I do, I can't get ahead with either you, never mind that we're family. But that's all right - I have a new family now." Kaim snaked his arms around my waist on cue, pulling me close. I wanted nothing more than to cry in frustration, appalled and the gall of them both. But I wouldn't - not in front of them. "He has treated me with much more love and respect in the short time we've been together than you have over the course of my entire life. So you can step off and go riding into the sunset for all I care. You do whatever makes you happy, and we'll do the same."
"Yeah - let's see how long that lasts," Karyn snickered. "Knowing him, it probably won't last long at all."
"Excuse me?" Kaim said, gritting his teeth.
"Oh come on, do you think we're actually going to believe that this shame of a marriage is real?" Her derisive laughter fired me up even more. She tore me down about getting "married" first, yet she doesn't even believe that we have an actual relationship? What the fuck? "Please, there's just no way. A guy like you with a roly-poly like her? Please, there's something else to it."
"Not that it's any of your business, but I love your sister very much!" My heart filled with loving pride at his declaration of love. "Zara is a wonderful woman - she's everything a guy could ever want in a lady. She's warm, she's kind, and she's has so much love to give. Too bad you'll never know that."
"Aww, that's sweet - not!" Non-chalant, she flicked a manicured finger our way. "She must be paying you quite well for you to 'defend her honor' like this." Deep within me, the match was lit, and a brightly burning flame began to grow and grow. "I wouldn't put it past her be so desperate, with mom and I getting married at all. Anything to stop feeling so pathetic."
"You're out of line," Kaim growled. "And now, I'm going to have to ask to leave Zara alone - now."
"Ooh, tough guy, aren't you?" Karyn's eyes twinkled with mischief. She wasn't about to back down. She was about to make things worse. "A big and strong man, here to protect my weak-willed, blubbery whale of a sister, make her feel all special inside - how sweet, how sickeningly sweet."
My hands itched and my body tingled. The flames grew hotter and hotter, and I began to see red. "Shut up, Karyn. Just shut your freakin mouth."
"That's it, you two need to leave right now!" Kaim headed for the door, angry footsteps stomping in time with my heartbeat. "You've done enough to upset my 'wife' for one night. Now, get the hell out."
"You can't kick us out of here!" my Mom cried out.
"The hell I can't! We're married, right? So that means this place is as much mine as it is hers. And I want the people who came out here to upset my wife to be here any longer. You've outstayed your welcome, not get the hell out!"
"Zara!" I could feel my mother's eyes pleading with me but I was too pissed at her to look back. "Zara, tell him."
"Oh, don't bother begging, Mom," Karyn seethed. "It's totally not worth the trouble. Besides, they're still in the honeymoon phase, so of course, they need their alone time." As her eyes twinkled even more, I knew what was coming. I also knew that there was good chance I wouldn't be able to quell my rage, which already threatened to boil over. "Tell me, does she pay you enough to keep the lights on, or do you turn them off? I don't blame you if you keep them off. I wouldn't want to look at all those disgusting jelly rolls she has either - "
I didn't think once about what I was doing. The fire within couldn't be contained anymore and I just snapped. It just happened, like in the movies - in slow motion, with the world coming to a standstill. I pulled my arm all the way back, and my balled up fist hit her jaw with a sickening crack. Karyn body did a full 360 before she fell to the ground - hard. I didn't bother to let her get up. I was on her like a rabid animal, coming at her with flurry of slaps, unable to hold back any longer.
"Zara!" My mom screamed out! "Get off of your sister!"
"Shut your face you miserable bitch!" I growled as I hit her over and over again. Moments before, she tried to get me to kowtow to her like she was the Empress of China. Now, she reduced herself to crying like a bitch. Some women just can't handle their comeuppance. "You've insulted me for the final time! Now, I'm going to make you pay for all the times you've mistreated me!"