Heyyyy! So, this is my first one shot and my first time writing from Caitlin's POV. (And you hopefully didn't just read that sentence and decide that this is going to be completely horrible. I can assure you, it's not bad. Not TOO bad, at least.)
I was very excited to write this! It takes place AFTER the season one finale, so if you haven't seen that yet, RUN! THERE ARE SPOILERS. THERE. ARE. SPOILERS.
Anyways, I hope you enjoy reading this! Oh, and one more thing. Since I came up with the idea while talking to her, this is dedicated to not_famous_yet2, also known as Madeline!! (^-^) She's a big fan of The Flash and I love talking to her. She's amazing. I mean it.
Enjoy reading!
Update 29/12/2021: edited typos
~~~~~
Caitlin looked up at the house before her, a small, thoughtful frown on her pale pink lips. It was Joe West's house. She didn't know if the detective was currently home, but that wasn't the reason she was there. She was there to see Barry Allen.
If she was completely honest, Caitlin was a little surprised - and relieved - when she'd heard that he was still living with Joe. After everything that had happened just three weeks ago, his behavior had changed some. He didn't smile as much as he used to, or laugh. He'd put up barriers around himself. They couldn't see them, but everyone knew they were there. She knew he'd done it to keep people away, including his friends, because he didn't want any others to get hurt. It was similar to what she'd done when she'd thought her fiancé, Ronnie, had died. But Caitlin was being stubborn, as was everyone else. They kept telling Barry that none of what had happened was his fault. Eddie Thawne's death, the singularity that had almost destroyed everything... They all knew Barry thought he was the reason it had all happened. He thought he was the catalyst, but he wasn't. The Reverse Flash had been and Caitlin couldn't hate him more for it. But it seemed like no matter what they said, they couldn't get through to Barry. They couldn't get past the walls he'd put up and they couldn't get the fact that none of it had been his fault into his stubborn brain.
At first, one of them would constantly be with him, trying to cheer him up, encourage him to talk, or just be there if he needed a shoulder to cry on. They did that the first week. The second week, Barry would talk more, but never really about 'that day'. He still helped whenever he was needed, either at the police department as a forensic scientist or fighting crime as the Flash. He didn't hang out at S.T.A.R. Labs outside of business - yet another way he was keeping them at a distance.
This was the end week three. They were giving him more space, and had stopped talking about the singularity and the Reverse Flash. They didn't say anything about it and neither did he. Ronnie had visited him once, and she knew that Cisco was probably exploding the poor Barry's message inbox and making his phone bill skyrocket.
But not once had any of them asked the question that was in all of their minds one way or another. What happened when you went back in time? Barry had come back and remembered everything, and they remembered everything, so he hadn't changed the timeline. Which only meant that...his mother was still dead. He'd gone back to the night of her murder to save her, but hadn't. Caitlin couldn't imagine how that was affecting her friend and it only made her even more worried than she already was for him. She had been indirectly prompting him to say something and she knew that Joe was also trying. It wasn't healthy to keep something like that bottled up for very long.
Sighing, Caitlin walked up the porch steps and knocked on the door. She crossed her arms, holding a grey coat close to her while she waited for someone to answer.
A few moments later and Caitlin heard the lock turning, followed by the door opening. Barry looked down at her and opened the door slightly wider when he recognized her. "Hey."
"Hey," Caitlin greeted. She remained outside on the porch. Barry stood in the doorway. Neither of them spoke. After a minute, she cleared her throat and tried her best to break the awkward tension. "You, uh..." She held out the coat to him, "You left your coat at S.T.A.R. Labs." The almost unreadable expression Barry had been wearing changed, a look of surprise flickering across his features. "I hope that it's okay I brought it over. I don't want to interrupt you if you're doing anything," she continued.
"No, no, it's fine," Barry assured her. He took the coat from her and stepped back, opening the door more as he told her, "Actually, I was going to text you."
Caitlin accepted the silent invitation he was giving her and walked inside the house, her heels quietly thumping on the wooden floor. "About what?" She asked, looking over her shoulder at him while he closed the door behind her. She wondered what he'd wanted to text her about. Part of her hoped that it was would be he wanted to hang out with her and the others or something, but with how he'd acting lately, she doubted it was that. "Do you need something?"
He shook his head, walking down the one step to the left and wandering across the living room. "No, I'm fine," he told her dismissively as he made his way across. She watched him while he moved, hiding a frown. No, you're not, she thought, but chose not to say. "I have something of yours and wanted to return it."
Now she did frown, puzzled. What did he have? She didn't remember leaving anything here. She watched him go into the kitchen, while staying in the entry way and searching her mind for whatever he had that hers. Caitlin walked down into the living room and crossed her arms in front of her, looking around the familiar room while she waited for her friend to return with whatever he was getting.
A minute later, she heard his footsteps and turned as he walked back into the room. "You left your salad bowl here," he said, holding a light green dish in his hands. Seeing her surprised expression, the faintest of smiles appeared on his face. "You weren't expecting this, were you?"
"I don't know what I was expecting," Caitlin answered honestly, her tone light. He laughed slightly and handed it to her. She accepted it and smiled happily. She liked that he'd laughed, even if it was small, and didn't mind that she had been the reason for it. The doctor was also happy to have her bowl back, since it was one of her favorites, as strange as that sounded. She'd completely forgotten that she'd left it at the house a few months back, when they'd had a get together and ate dinner as one big, weird family.
Barry put one of his hands in his jeans's pockets, gesturing the bowl and saying, "It's been washed and dried, so it's all clean," before he rubbed the back of his neck while Caitlin looked at the bowl. Sure enough, it was clean and dry. Even when Barry was trying to keep people away, he was a good friend.
She lifted her gaze to smile up at him. "Thank you," she said, wrapping her arms around bowl and holding it against her to keep it from falling and shattering.
He shrugged. "Don't mention it."
Caitlin looked away, her gaze wandering around the space, like she could avoid another awkward silence if she just avoided looking at him. "So, where's Iris?" She asked, trying to keep some kind of conversation going. Barry still had casual conversations with her and Cisco, but not nearly as much as he had before. So she was enjoying the small chit chat they were currently having, even though it would end in a minute when she left, and was trying to keep him talking.
"At work," he answered. "She, uh - She was granted some time off while their building was repaired, since it was kinda damaged and all." By the singularity, she knew he meant. Barry continued, "But it's been all patched up and repaired by now, so everyone's back at work, including herself."
Caitlin nodded her understanding. "And Joe?" She looked over at her friend.
Barry lowered his hand from his neck, letting his arm fall down to his side as he answered, "He's at the station."
Caitlin arched her brows slightly. "He is?" Yet another surprise. Quickly, confusion overtook her and her eyebrows scrunched together a little. "Wait, why?" The station hadn't been as wrecked at the building were Iris worked had been. Meaning that it was still operable. Joe had been granted some leave time to help Iris while she mourned Eddie. He'd also been trying to help Barry. After his time was up, Joe had started going back to the police station to see if they needed help with anything. They'd refused to send him out, since he didn't have a partner. They had him help with other things instead, while they searched for an officer who would fit well with Detective West, wasn't already working with someone, and could be paired with him.
"They got him a new partner," Barry answered. His tone remained casual, but Caitlin noticed the small shifts, like how he glanced away from her when he talked. They replaced Eddie, were the unspoken words. She pressed her lips together slightly. It was the line of work Joe was in that meant Eddie had to be replaced and everyone was mourning the loss. But still. She wasn't positive how Barry felt about it. Grief could change how a person thought, including him. She could only try to imagine how he felt.
She looked away, not sure what to say. Her gaze flickered to the end table next to the couch. On it was a frame with a picture in it, laying face up. The picture was of Barry when he was young, maybe seven, with his parents. With his mom. It wasn't normally out. He must have been looking at it when I came over, she realized, the thought tugging at her heartstrings. Oh, Barry.
Barry continued, unaware of what she was thinking. "So they told him to go to the station to meet his new partner and to, probably, let him know that he'll be back in the field soon," he finished, raising his gaze from the floor. When Caitlin didn't reply, lost in thought, he frowned slightly. "What's wrong?"
The question snapped her out of her thoughts and she looked away from the picture, returning her gaze to him. "Hmm?" He didn't say anything, letting her have a moment to process the question. When she did, Caitlin blinked, "Oh," she shook her head, her curls bouncing. "Nothing." Lie. "Why?"
"Because you were doing that biting your lower lip thing you do when something's bothering you," Barry answered simply, his voice holding mixed notes of amusement and concern. She quickly stopped biting her lip. Funny that he was concerned for her when she was concerned for him. He frowned again, watching her with worried eyes. Even though he wouldn't let her be there for him, he was there for her. He was there for all of them. Every time one of them tripped, Barry would catch them. Caitlin desperately wished that he would allow them to help him up when he fell. "Caitlin, what's wrong?" He repeated, gently pushing her to say something,
The geneticist was quiet for a moment, considering if she should say what was running through her mind. Making her decision, she said, "You know we're here for you, right?"
The question seemed to caught Barry off guard. "What?" His voice was quiet. The speedster recovered after a moment and he shook his head slowly. "If this is about Eddie, Caitlin, I'll be-"
"It's not about Eddie," Caitlin blurted. He stopped, a confused expression on his face. He looked at her and she could tell that he wanted to ask her questions, but he didn't. He just silently prompted her to say more. Sighing, she lowered her head, her hair falling over her shoulders. "Look, Barry... I just want you to know that," she told him, her voice gentle and failing to hide her worry, "we're here for you. All of us. Joe, Cisco, Iris... Ronnie, even. Professor Stein. We're all here for you."
She paused, quietly breathing in. Barry still didn't say anything, but she had his full attention. She could feel him staring at her while she spoke. "Whatever...happened that night, when you went back..." She heard him suck in his breath. She'd gone were no one had yet, to her knowledge. Not directly, anyway. There was no turning back now. She raised her gaze, her eyes meeting his. "We may not know what you saw or what happened...but we're here for you. No matter what." Her last words were firm, but still gentle.
Barry swallowed and broke eye contact, turning slightly away from her and lowering his head. Caitlin pressed her lips together, watching him. Maybe she shouldn't have said anything, but he'd needed to hear it. Caitlin knew he had. "You can tell us, Barry," she told him, her voice a whisper. "Any of us. You don't have to carry it by yourself. You shouldn't. I just hope you know that."
Slowly, she turned and walked. She stopped for a moment when she was in front of the end table by the couch and looked down at the photo of Barry with his mother and father. Keeping one arm around her salad bowl, Caitlin reached down and gingerly picked up the frame, putting it into a standing position. Barry looked so happy in the picture, so full of light. A small, sad smile made its way to her lips.
Caitlin went to the door. She stood in front of it for a moment, looking over her shoulder at Barry. He still wasn't facing her, his head bowed while he rubbed the back of his neck with both hands. She looked away, closing her eyes. I'm sorry, she thought. Opening her eyes, she placed her hand on the door handle and made to leave.
"I got to tell her goodbye."
Caitlin froze. She heard Barry take in a deep, shaky breath. Slowly, she turned, taking her hand off of the door handle. He was standing in the same spot in the living room, in front of the couch. He lowering his hands, letting his arms fall to his side, only to raise one a minute later and run a hand through his hair. He turned and looked at Caitlin. She could see every emotion he was feeling; the sadness, the longing, the pain. The walls that he'd had up for weeks were gone, exposing himself, but also giving her a chance to get close to him again.
"I got to tell her..." His voice cracked. She watched as he closed his eyes and breathed in, then out. When he looked at her again, Caitlin had to resist the urge to run up and hug him as a small tear made its way down his cheek. "I got to tell her that me, Joe, my dad... We're all fine." He forced a sad smile in her direction and Caitlin couldn't resist anymore.
She started forward, going faster with each step she took. She clumsily set her salad bowl on the coffee table as she passed it before she reached Barry and embraced him, hugging her friend. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and she let him. When his entire body started shaking, it didn't take much for her realize he was sobbing. She could feel his tears wetting her jacket, but she hardly thought about it. Caitlin rubbed his back and didn't say anything, just allowed him to let everything out. He needed to, after keeping it bottle it up for as long as he did without speaking to anyone, and she wasn't going to stop him.
They ended up on the couch at some point during it all. Caitlin wasn't sure how much time had passed, but she didn't care. Her friend needed her and she would be there for him. That was all she focused on. Whatever other plans she'd had for the day went out the window, completely dismissed and pushed aside. Barry came first.
After a few minutes, Barry slowly pulled back and dragged a hand down his face, wiping away any tears that were still there. He took a long, deep, shaky breath, then let it out. He did this process at least three times before he was able to say anything. He sniffed, looking down. "I'm sorry-" He started to say, but Caitlin didn't finish.
"You don't have to be, Barry," she told him. He looked at her. She offered him him a comforting look, tossing her head slightly to get some stray hair away from her face. "You have nothing to be sorry for," she repeated. Grinning slightly, she added, "Not right now, at least. Cisco may make you sorry for not answering his texts, but other than that, you're fine."
Barry laughed, then sighed and leaned against the back of the couch. "Yeah, I should probably reply to those," he admitted.
"Probably," Caitlin agreed teasingly. That earned a chuckle from him. He smiled at her and she returned one of her own.
Whatever barricade had been up the past few weeks was gone and Caitlin was glad it was. He may not be quite the same after the day of singularity, but he'd be fine. The light inside of him had not been extinguished. It was dim, yes, but there. And Caitlin had confidence that it would grow stronger and brighter, even after everything that had happened. That was the thing about Barry. He would always have that spark inside of him. Caitlin had faith in that. No matter what was thrown his way, no matter what hit him, he would get through it. Maybe it would take some time and maybe it would get hard, but that was what his friends were for. Joe, Iris, Cisco, Ronnie, and herself. They would help him when he needed it and, even when he didn't need it, they'd be there.
Thinking of something, Caitlin rested her arm on the back of the couch and said, "I have an idea."
Barry gave her a curious look. "Really?" He asked and she nodded. When she didn't clarify what it was, he prompted her, "Well, what is it?"
Caitlin smiled again, allowing her eagerness and excitement to show. "How about," she told him, "I call Cisco and the three of us have a Netflix marathon here? You know, have some down time while Iris and Joe are at work. I can tell Cisco to bring over ice cream and candy, and we can make ourselves sick when we eat too much."
Barry laughed again and leaned the back of his head on the cushion behind him. "I have some soda in the fridge," he answered, turning his head a little in her direction to look at her while he spoke.
Caitlin allowed herself a satisfied grin when she heard his response. "Excellent." She moved forward, so she was sitting on the edge of the couch and reached down, slipping off her shoes. Tossing them aside, she then pulled her phone out of her jacket's pocket and said, "I'll let him know now. What kind of ice cream do you want?"
Barry thought for a moment, his hands resting on his stomach. "Uhhhh... Mint chocolate chip," he decided at last.
Caitlin typed out the plan for the rest of the day and his order, added her own request for cookie dough ice cream, then sent the message. "Sent!" She announced cheerfully. Five seconds later, her text tone went off, notifying her that she had a response. Reading it, she told Barry, "Cisco said he'll be here in thirty minutes tops, with ice cream, caramel, and Twizzlers. He also said that you're in for it when he gets here for not answering him."
Barry groaned dramatically, but didn't actually sounding upset about that fact. "No surprise there." He stood up and walked to the kitchen, saying, "I'll go get the soda ready."
"I'll help," Caitlin offered, setting her phone down on the coffee table. She took off her jacket and tossed it onto the end of the couch, then followed him into the other room to help set up for the Netflix marathon.
***
Ten minutes later, they were sitting on the couch again, with their feet propped up on the edge of the coffee table. Barry had taken off his sneakers, so they were both barefoot, and Caitlin enjoyed the feeling. She didn't mind heels, but it was nice to ditch them for a little while. Especially when that little while included eating one of her favorite desserts.
They'd set out on the coffee table whatever ice cream toppings they'd been able to find in the kitchen. They had a bowl of strawberries, some chocolate chips, whipped cream, and an assortment of sprinkles. Barry explained that Iris had gone through a baking phase and made a lot of cakes, hence all of the different kinds of sprinkles they had.
The pair had also set out some cups, a bowl of ice, and some bottles of soda. One was a half empty Dr. Pepper and the other was an unopened Coke.
Barry had opened Netflix on the tv and was browsing the shows while they waited for Cisco to arrive with their ice cream and candy feast. "What do you think? Movie or tv show?" He asked while he went through the 'Popular on Netflix' category.
Caitlin pondered that. "Hmmm... What about a movie, then show? Or show, then a movie?"
Barry glanced at her and she saw that he was barely hiding his smile. After a second, he couldn't conceal it any longer and it shone through as he summed up her answer. "So, both?"
"Both," she agreed with a grin. One at a time, she brought her legs up onto the couch and pulled them towards her chest. Wrapping her arms around them, she suggested, "Cisco can help us decide what to watch first."
Her friend nodded slightly, looking back at the tv. "Sounds like a plan."
Silence ensued. Caitlin rested her chin on her knees and watched as Barry went through the different options of what they could watch. We need to do this more often, she thought. It was nice, just hanging around, not having to worry about some villain or bad metahuman trying to cause chaos in Central City. Plus, ice cream and candy. Delicious junk food was also a bonus.
Barry spoke after a few minutes of the two of them being quiet. "Thank you, by the way."
She little her head a little and looked at him, not quite sure what he was talking about. "For what? Suggesting that we waste a day by watching Netflix?" She joked.
He chuckled. "That too," he decided. He was quiet for a beat before adding, "But also for being here with me." His tone was more solemn. He stopped going through shows on the tv, setting down the remote on the cushion beside him. "I guess..." Barry trailed off, searching for words he couldn't find.
Caitlin nudged him lightly, a small smile on her face as he turned his head to look at her. "I get it," she told him, letting him know that he didn't need to say more. The way she said those few words conveyed that she wasn't just saying that and really did understand, and she did. She understood perfectly.
At length, Barry smiled faintly and shook his head, almost in awe. "You're a great friend. You know that?" He told her. His smile grew when she answered.
"I've been told," Caitlin said, her smile almost a smirk.
Barry grinned at her, then stood up to answer the door when someone knocked and Cisco's voice shouted, "Ice cream delivery!" He was a bit louder than he need to be, in Caitlin's opinion, but it didn't upset her this time. She just rolled her eyes.
Caitlin watched him open the door and take the grocery bag that held the ice cream from Cisco after they man hugged. Ten seconds later, Cisco launched into his rant about how if Barry had answered his phone, they could have done this a lot sooner or done it more than once by now, allowing them to eat even more ice cream. Barry laughed and apologized while he led his buddy to the kitchen, where they'd open up the candy and ice cream. While they did that, Caitlin's gaze wandered to the picture on the end table, with a happy Barry and his proud parents. She smiled to her herself, content.
Everything would be fine.