Days became weeks and then months. Before I knew it, six months had passed. And I had visited Loki every single one of those days. Slowly, very slowly, inching forward like a snail, Loki began to open up and even could be polite. His snarky, sarcastic mocking never left, however. We still fought, but we could stop and be friends again just as fast. Loki became my best friend in those months.
Ashanti was leading a very romantic life with a guard from the palace. She still saw me, but we rarely had time to talk. Lawrence hadn't spoken to me since I had smacked him in the market place. He watched me however, I could feel his eyes on me all the time. Mother was finally able to stop working. She volunteers at one of the local schools however. When everyone had left, I could always count in Loki being there.
I told him everything about myself, everything except for my father. I wanted to keep that story to myself. Loki told me bits and pieces about his life, but had so many walls up, that by the time I actually got him to talk, he said very little. Still, I remembered everything he said. I filed it away in my memory for future reference.
Summer vanished and Fall followed close behind. Winter set in upon Asgard like the black death. Winter in Asgard was always dreary. But I loved all of it. Everything. From the dark skies to the ice snow. Asgard's snow is different. It's mostly ice and it falls like rain. But it is still fun to play in.
Today, it was dark cloudy and cold. The ground was covered in a thin layer of ice that crunched beneath my feet. I walked briskly to the Tower, it being too cold to ride Shelia. My cloak didn't offer much protection from the bitter cold, but I pulled it closer to me. I blew on my mittens, my breath making little clouds in the chilly air.
I climbed down the ladder with trembling hands. I jumped down and shivered, pulling my cloak closer. Then I let out a little gasp. Loki was sitting in the corner of his cell. Everything looked normal and neat. Everything except him. His smooth hair was now in his face and was even tangled. His eyes look darker then normal. His clothes were wrinkled and rumpled. His face seemed even paler then normal. I cocked my head to one side, edging nearer to his cell.
" Loki?" I asked softly.
Instead of a snarky answer or an enraged one, his voice was soft.
" You shouldn't be here Lola. It's not safe." He said, looking hopelessly at the wall. I had never seen him this way.
Normally he was well groomed and his face was emotionless. But today.. It was as though all his emotions that he taken such great care to hide, had come tumbling out. Like water rushing from a broken dam. The way he spoke was gentle, as though he didn't have the strength to try and be sarcastic.
" Why not?" I asked.
" On days as cold as this, its hard to keep my Jotun from showing. You should leave. Please. I would only frighten you." His voice, his face, they were both so broken. I felt tears form in my eyes. I had never cried in front of Loki. I walked closer to the cell.
I hasn't entered his cell since he had healed me all those months ago. I promised myself I wouldn't or he would use some trick to escape and then I would be blamed. But today, I broke that promise. I stepped in, my shaky breaths making little puffs of smoke in the cold air.
I moved until I was standing in front of Loki. He looked down at his hands, for once he couldn't look me in the eye.
" You need to leave. Now." His words sounded mean, but his voice was just worried.
I reached down and pulled him up until he was standing. He stumbled forward and fell against me. Fortunately, I was able to stop us from falling. He righted himself. He never looked embarrassed. It simply wasn't in his nature to feel ashamed for anything he did. He looked fine now, but I was blushing.
He still wouldn't look at me. He seemed to be fighting something, for he breathed heavily and his eyes moved quickly.
" Show me." I whispered.
His head snapped forward. He stared at me in shock. His eyes not believing me.
" I mean it. I want to see." I said.
His eyes looked defeated. He closed them and relaxed. Blue began to travel up his arms and neck. His eyes turned red. Strange bumps and markings appeared on his blue skin. And there he stood. His eyes betrayed shame.
" Beautiful." I whispered.
His eyebrows furrowed in utter astonishment.
" Do not lie to me." He said softly but angrily.
I reached up and touched his cheek. He flinched away. I drew my hand back. Small blisters were forming on my fingertips. I didn't mind. His skin had been so cold. It had taken the breath right out of me. Loki looked at me as though I was crazy. His eyes looked slightly panicked and his chest heaved with his short and irregular breaths.
I grabbed his sleeved arm and held it parallel to his body, his wrist bent and his palm facing me. I placed my hand again it. My hand grew red and although it hurt, I liked it. Loki ripped his hand away. He turned back into his human self and stared at me.
" What is wrong with you? Cant you see I am a monster? Why would you touch me when it hurts you?" He yelled at me. His voice cracked. I looked up and saw everything as clear as day. He couldn't bring himself to believe that someone could care about him.
I walked up and wrapped my arms around him tightly. It felt so right and I wondered why I didn't try this earlier. I breathed in the scent of pine that clung to his shirt. It didn't last long however. He pushed me away roughly. I stumbled back and tripped over a stack of books, before flying through the air and the golden walls of his cell. I hit the ground with a thud. The air was knocked out of me. I gasped liked a fish out of water for a moment. When I sat up, Loki was looking at me with a mix of horror and worry on his face. I didn't have time to marvel at the fact that he was displaying emotion or tell him I was fine, however.
I was yanked to my feet roughly by someone who had a tight grip on my upper arm. I was swung around to face the person and pushed roughly against the wall at the same time. My breath was fast and I shivered at the cold rock against my back.
" So this is the man who you visit everyday. A monster! You can love him but you look at me with disgust!" Lawrence spat in my face, his breath and uncomfortable mix of garlic and fish.
I couldn't speak for a moment. I was still reeling from my fall and now I was pinned against the wall.
" How did you find me?" I gasped out.
Lawrence used to be one of my best friends when I was younger. But then I grew up and he looked at me differently. I was no longer his friend and sister, but the object of his affections. He began to act strange. Staring at me for no reason, always following me, and never speaking to me. I asked him about it and he spoke of his undying love for me, but I told him I did not feel the same. He continued to stalk me, but from a distance. I missed my friend, but I knew that that Lawrence, my Lawrence, had died.
" I have been following you for months, but you would disappear in this cave before I could follow you. But I have you this time." He spat, laughing in my face.
His laugh. That's when I knew. He was crazy. Insane.
" You're insane." I whispered I horror, my eyes wide.
He laughed before pulling me away from the wall and throwing me to the ground roughly.
" Yes! I am insane! Driven mad by love. And when I couldn't have it, I let it turn to hate. Now, I want revenge. You can love this monster! You then can love me! And if you refuse to do so, I will tell the Allfather that you have been secretly visiting Loki and have been plotting his escape!" He shouted at me, his eyes wild and his voice raving.
I scooted away from him, backing up using my hands. I was horrified. I couldn't love Lawrence. Not now. Not ever.
" I would rather die then spend the rest if my life with you. I never loved you like you wanted. To me you were always my friend. But now.. My mother loved a monster out of choice. But I cannot love you because you want me to. I'm sorry. Not after all you have done." I said softly.
Lawrence advanced towards me, anger flashing in his drooping eyes. Before he could reach me, images of Loki surrounded me. Except this wasn't the Loki of several minutes ago, this was a armored, strong, tall, scary Loki. The same one who everyone thought he was. Lawrence stopped and began to back away as Loki, or rather, holograms of Loki, surrounded him.
I ran to the ladder. If I could escape, I could get help. I silently berated myself for being so careless. I had just put my foot on the first rung, when I glanced back. Loki was motioning for me to continue, his face worried, angry, and apologetic. Lawrence swung his fist wildly and as he struck the hologram, it dissolved. The panic in his eyes was now replaced with triumph. He swung his arm in a wide arc, his hand passing through all the apparitions.
His eyes met mine as they dissolved. I began to climb faster. I had gotten fairly high up before Lawrence reached the ladder. He jumped up and managed to grab my long cloak. He pulled. I fell backwards, flailing my arms. I let out a small yelp before I hit the ground.
It jarred my teeth, making me bite my lip. Blood filled my mouth. I tried desperately to breath but I couldn't. My insides felt like someone had mixed them all together. My head pounded and my vision was blurry. I tried to stay awake, but the struggle to breath was too much. I fell into a deep darkness.