Chapter 21
Cassandra held her breath while she stared at her husband. He held her fate in his hands. With one simple word, he could crush her every hope. She wasn’t used to having her life be determined on one person’s reaction, but here she was; sitting there waiting on a man to tell her the outcome.
A smile spread across his face, and Cassandra had to blink multiple times to make sure what she was seeing wasn’t an illusion. He was smiling at her in amusement. She expected many things, but amusement wasn’t one of them. Frankly, it made her mad that he thought so lightly of her secret.
Glaring at him, she crossed her arms over her chest, “Pray, tell me what you find amusing.”
“You,” he said, “You are amusing.”
“I’m glad you find my story humorous. Silly me thinking that I was opening up to you,” she stated with sarcasm dripping off every word.
He chuckled, “Do you honestly think that something like that will keep me away from you? What did you expect me to do? Send for the magistrate? Alert the people? I am not a fool; I know some let their beliefs cloud their judgment, but I am not one of those people. For once in a very long time, I care about something. I am not about to let that something go.”
She froze. Did he just say that it did not matter what others thought? Did he just tell her that he cared for her? Her expression softened as she scanned his face. She saw no sign of trickery. He meant what he said.
“Thank you,” she whispered while turning her face away. She didn’t know how to deal with this much acceptance. She had had others accept her for who she was, but no one’s approval had mattered as much as his.
The sound of footsteps made its way to her ears. Looking over, she watched as Colin sauntered towards her with a grin, “Come, it’s time for dinner. Then you can retire. You’ve had a long day.”
Grabbing his offered hand, she rose to her feet with a hesitant smile, “A nights rest sounds splendid.”
“What sounds splendid is some food. Spending time with Cooper made my day go faster than usual,” he stated while grabbing her elbow and steering her down the corridor.
She let out a laugh, “He is a wonderful lad.”
“Yes, wonderful. He will be a great older brother.”
Cassandra body tensed up, “He will be.”
The rest of the walk was spent in quiet contemplation. They hadn’t spoken of children, but she knew they would have to eventually. Matters like this could cause problems if they were not resolved at the beginning of a relationship.
All thoughts she had were cut off as they rounded the corner. The room was empty apart from the dining table and chairs, which were in the middle of the large open room. Cob webs lingered in the corners and dust lined the walls and ground. Glancing at the table, she let out a relieved sigh. It was clean.
“Come, let us sit,” Colin said while pulling her towards the head of the table. He sat down and motioned to his right.
Cassandra sat without making a noise and looked down at the table. It was a beautiful dark wood, but something that surprised her was the quality of the dishes they would be using. She had expected metal, not this fine glass that sat in front of her.
“My mother did have taste,” Colin told her in amusement, “There are things that are left over from her stay. Like the dishes.”
She nodded, “Where are the others?”
Colin glanced around the room, “That, my dear, is an excellent question.”
Doors swung open behind her causing her to jump in her seat. Twisting in her chair, she watched as Peirce, Ramsey and Cooper all came out holding various things. Peirce stepped towards the table and plopped down a platter full of meat. Looking closer, Cassandra realized what it was.
“Oh, you have chickens?” she asked surprised.
Peirce grimaced as he sat across from her, “Had a chicken. No more eggs in the morning for you two.”
She pursed her lips to keep from laughing at his distraught face, “They brought chickens.”
“You thought of everything didn’t you?” Peirce grumbled as he sat back in his chair, “Well, dinner is served.”
Cassandra’s hands went up and her head bowed. Ramsey, who was sitting to her left, grabbed her hand, while her other stayed empty. She waited, but nothing fell into her palm. Lifting her eye lids, she glanced over. Colin looked at her with a blank face. He hadn’t touched the food yet, but he didn’t grab her hand either.
She looked at him in confusion, “You don’t want to hold my hand?”
“That’s not it,” he explained, “I do not pray.”
She snatched her hand back and stared. He didn’t pray? She had thought that him accepting her was a good thing, but was the reason because he did not believe in God?
“Cassandra,” Peirce called out.
Her eyes turned to him. He was holding Cooper’s hand while Cooper was on his knees holding Ramsey’s. “Yes, Peirce?”
“Don’t think about what he means. It is not what you think. He believes in God, he just doesn’t realize it yet,” he told her adamantly.
She nodded her head, “He is like those that believe God does not listen. He thinks that the situation he is in proves that fact?”
“Aye,” Peirce said with a relieved expression.
“I am still here,” Colin muttered, “And I would prefer if you did not speak as if I wasn’t.”
Cassandra looked over at him, “You will hold my hand, we will all look down, some of us will say thanks, but you do not have to.”
He stared at her hand with a pained expression. His hand lifted and it moved towards hers. She held her breath as it got closer and closer. Finally, she felt weight connect with her palm. Letting out a sigh of relief, she closed her eyes and tilted her head down.
She sent thanks for her meal, but she also added on a prayer for Colin. She asked that he accept his life. Opening her eyes, she realized that she was the first one to finish. The others still had their heads bowed. What amazed her was that Colin also had his inclined.
One by one, everyone opened their eyes. Cooper had a smile on his face. She had to wonder if the lad knew what just happened, or if he was just following in their direction. Peirce face looked pained, but a smile lingered on the corner of his mouth. Ramsey had a neutral expression. Cassandra knew that he was accustomed to everything that just happened. It had become a routine in the Ashmore households.
She waited for Colin’s face to turn in her direction, but it never did. He dropped her hand and picked up a knife to begin cutting the chicken. Did he give thanks? Or did he pretend to keep her content? The answer did not matter to her, what mattered was that he was making an effort. He could have refused, but instead he did something just to appease her.
She sat there and waited for Colin to distribute the meal. A piece of the meat made its way onto her plate as Ramsey passed her a bowl filled with chopped carrots. Scooping some out, she filled her plate. No sounds were made as she began to eat. The others ate in silence. It wasn’t a heavy silence like it often was in other households. This silence was one of compatibility. Every person in the room was comfortable with where they were.
There might have been unresolved issues, but nothing that would disturb their meal. The last piece of food on her plate made its way into her mouth. She glanced around at the other empty plates and smiled.
“Well, that was fantastic, Peirce,” she complimented.
He preened, “Thank you. Now, you can all retire. I’ll finish here.”
She opened her mouth to protest, but a hand on her shoulder stopped her from voicing her opinion. Looking over at Ramsey, she lifted an eyebrow in silent question.
“I will help the man,” Ramsey said with a tiny smile, “I know you are tired. Your arm is throbbing. You need your rest.”
When she hesitated, he continued, “Go on, or I will make Colin carry you up the stairs.”
Her chair scraped the ground as she pushed it back. There was no way that she was going to let the man tote her like he had days before.
“Sleep well, everyone,” she called out as she grabbed Cooper’s hand and made her way out of the dining area.
“Cassandra! Wait!” Colin yelled while running towards her.
She stopped in the hall and turned to look at the man, “Yes?”
His eyes darted away from hers and his hand went through his hair, “Will you sleep with me?”
“W-what?” she stuttered in shock.
“No, I mean will you sleep in my bed,” he tried to redeem himself, “I can’t sleep. Well, last night I could not sleep. I would just feel better if you were there with me.”
She bit her lip and stared at his face, “Yes, but Cooper comes with us.”
He nodded his head, “I wouldn’t expect anything less. The lad can sleep with us too. It’s just without you there, I cannot relax.”
She shut her mouth and followed him as he began walking towards his chamber. She didn’t want to admit that she felt the same way. She didn’t want to tell him that she could not sleep without him by her side. The words leaving his mouth were a relief, but she was afraid that if she admitted she felt the same, she would come off sounding desperate.
Finally, they arrived at his door. Sending her a smile, he opened it and motioned for her to enter, “After you.”