©2025 AMDS/Imaginationgirl35
Rowan
I pop a Bloodroot pill in my mouth and swallow without water like I do first thing every morning.
My eyes scan over my bare chest and arms, following each darkened vein like scattered roads on a map. They've gotten worse—so, so much worse. Dr. Arnou and the research team won't be happy about this progressive development. For the past year, they've been growing increasingly concerned with the side effects of the Bloodroot, particularly with my veins appearing to have been stuffed with molten tar. They've been trying to convince me to stop taking Bloodroot, but I can't. Not yet. Not without having found Willow yet. I've managed to convince them to keep using me for research for now, but I'm not sure how much longer I can keep holding them off, especially if these veins get worse.
Although the side effects are concerning, Bloodroot does numb the mate bond just like Lyra said it would. And right now, Willow's and my bond needs to be numbed for her sake.
I don't even want to think about what would happen if I were to stop taking bloodroot now after two years.
Two whole years.
That's how long it's been since I last saw Willow. Just thinking about her sends a wave of pain through my chest.
I miss her. I undoubtedly, endlessly miss her. And I cannot blame the bond for missing her, not even a little bit, because our bond has been numbed. The truth is, I miss Willow. I miss her scent, her warmth, her touch, her laugh, and her smile. For two years, all I've had to hold onto are her memories and the hope that one day I might see her again and get the chance to convince her to stay and be the Luna of our pack and my mate.
I know that seems ridiculous, especially considering how I treated her for so many years, but I do. I never realized how much Willow had become part of my life until she was gone, and I discovered just how many of my daily habits revolved around her. Turns out, I spent a great deal of my time just looking for her, making sure she was always in sight. It's been two years, and I still haven't broken that habit. I look for her wherever I go, but now, she's never within sight and I haven't found her.
Nothing has been more humbling than realizing what a complete failure I am as a mate and Alpha. Over the years, I'd grown accustomed to Willow always being there for me and our pack, so I never thought for a second that could change. So, I didn't bother trying to fix it. Instead, I'd spent so much time focusing and dwelling on my pain and our past. I refused to realize I could lose Willow in the process.
Now she's good and gone out of my life, and it's my fault.
These past two years have shown me how much of an immature, selfish idiot I'd been. Not only hurting Willow but also hurting my pack. I'm their Alpha—their leader—and I failed them. I failed to lead them properly. I kept their Luna from them; the Luna they were destined to love and respect, and they didn't love or respect her because of me.
And instead, they mocked her...hurt her. And it was all because of me. Sure, they didn't know she was their Luna. They simply followed my lead, and I led them wrongly. Now it's on me to make it right, and I won't give up until I have.
I just need to find Willow first.
When I chose to take Bloodroot, a part of me believed—no, hoped—it would only be for a short while until Willow returned home on her own. Part of me thought she'd take some time to clear her mind, but ultimately the pull of the pack would lure her back.
We're wolves. We need pack.
But she hasn't come home, and as each day passes, my hope in her return weakens as the Bloodroot slowly destroys my body.
I run a finger over a vein across my chest. Touching it hurts, but I don't stop.
I deserve this pain.
At first, only a few veins changed, but there are hundreds now. My skin constantly feels uncomfortably warm—not entirely burning, but enough to hurt consistently. I know it's not right, but I hide my pain and my veins from my pack.
Some things are better left in secret.
I take a deep breath.
Thwomp.
I jump at the sound, finding the door to my hotel room pushed open as Emeric comes barreling in.
"Good morning, I got us some coff—"
But he doesn't finish the sentence. His eyes are stuck on my bare chest. His mouth slams shut as he grinds his teeth. I can hear his heart quicken in fear and anger.
I reach over for my shirt to cover myself up. "Hey, Emeric. Thanks for the coffee—"
"You told me they'd gotten better, Rowan. You told me they were only temporary."
I lied.
"It's fine, Emeric. They're nothing. Just a small side effect—"
"Stop lying to me!" he shouts, slamming the door to my room. He stomps over and places the coffee on the hotel desk. He spins around with his hands firmly on his hips. "I'm your Beta. You need to stop lying to me. You're dying, Rowan. You're. Dying. Stop pretending otherwise."
My jaw clenches. "We don't know that—"
"Don't know that?" Emeric roars as he points to my chest. "I don't need a doctor to tell me something is seriously wrong with you, Alpha. Look at you! Your veins are...they're...they're all wrong. Veins aren't supposed to look like that. They're meant to look like this"—he aggressively pulls up the left sleeve of his blue shirt, revealing his inner-forearm, a forearm lacking hundreds of blackened veins—"Healthy looks like this, Rowan, not whatever science experiment you have going on."
"Emeric, they're not a big deal."
He shakes his head. "Stop lying to me. I'm not an idiot. Do they hurt?"
My eyes flick away. No one knows of the pain. Not even Dr. Arnou or the research team. But lying to Emeric is useless.
Two warm hands grab my shoulders and spin me so I'm facing Emeric directly. Pity, concern, and anger swirl behind his eyes. I hate seeing him look at me like this.
"I'm fine."
"You're not fine. And right now, we need you in top shape. The Crimson Skull Pack has grown significantly, and they're taking over more and more packs. We can't have you weak, Alpha. We need you at the top of your game—"
"I am at the top of my game," I growl, and that's not a lie. My veins may look like death, and I feel constant pain, but my body is in top shape. I've made sure of it. When I'm not running my pack or searching for Willow, I'm in the gym and training. "You know that. I've done nothing but train and increase strength over the past two years. My focus has been and always will be protecting my pack and finding Willow."
He shakes his head. "Just stop taking the Bloodroot. This pack needs you. I need you. You're my best friend and my Alpha. Not to forget, you're going to be an uncle soon. He needs you, Rowan. My son needs you. You've punished yourself enough. It's time to stop...everything."
"You know what will happen if I do," I say.
"Maybe it's time. She's had two years, Rowan. Two years to heal and be without her pack, but it's time. She belongs with us. She's our Luna. She's your mate. She needs to come home."
I flinch. "And we treated her worse than dirt." Tears burn my eyes, but I fight to keep them back. "I won't force her back, Emeric. I won't give up on finding her, but I won't force her back either. The choice needs to be hers. She needs to choose us. She needs to choose me. I won't abuse the mate bond to get my way. What I've done to her"—I shake my head—"she has the right to have a choice in this."
Emeric sighs. "I understand what you want, Alpha, and I supported you even though I hated the idea of you taking Bloodroot, but I can't keep supporting this," he hisses. I start buttoning my black button-up, long-sleeved shirt. "You're leaving me no other choice here, Rowan. When we get back to the pack, I'm talking to Dr. Arnou and the research team. And I'm telling them everything—"
My pulse quickens. "Emeric, you can't—"
"No! We need you right now; we can't risk this. We can't risk you. It's time we let nature take its course."
By nature, he means let the mate bond force Willow home and force us to mate.
My jaw clenches. "Let's just get through this trip, yeah? We'll talk on the way back. Right now, we need to focus on what we're going to say to Alpha Malik. We have enough on our plates. We don't need this added on. The Crimson Skull Pack is getting out of control, and we need to get as many packs as possible on board if we want to bring them down. Something is going on with that pack. They have some sort of weapon that we're blind to, and we can't go in without assurances we'll win. Too much is at stake."
"Which is more the reason we need you here, Rowan. Not dead. And we need Willow. We need our Luna."
A Luna we rejected, I want to say, but I know it's useless. The truth is the pack had no idea Willow was their Luna. I kept it from them. They had no idea what they'd done. They do now, though. Shortly after Emeric and Lyra's mating ceremony, I came clean to my pack. The first step to making amends is being honest. ©2025 AMDS/Imaginationgirl35--Betrayed Mate is a novel published on Wattpad. If seen on any other site, it's stolen from the author. Please read the entire story at https://www.wattpad.com/story/368051957-work-in-progress-betrayed-mate-a-novel-ish
They needed to know not only what I'd done, but what they'd done.
I'm not going to lie, the look of disappointment, betrayal, disgust, and shame is still burned in my memory of that day.
"I raise my arm and squeeze his shoulder. "I'm fine, Emeric. It looks worse than it is." Lies. "And I'm doing everything I can to find Willow. I won't stop until I've found her. I want our pack to have their Luna, and I want my mate." And that is the truth. I won't give up on Willow, even if it takes me the rest of my life.
He squints but finally concedes. He knows I'm not going to give in yet. I can't. I won't force Willow to return to our pack or me. She needs to come home on her own. I have every intention of finding her and begging on my knees if I must, but I won't force her.
Life hasn't been easy without Willow. The Crimson Skull Pack has grown rapidly by taking down smaller packs. There's something strange going on with that pack. Any survivors, if any, all say the same thing—that they were taken by surprise and there were no scents to give the pack away.
I've never been one to become allies with packs. The Crescent Moon was the first, but since then, we've joined with three others who have been attacked by the Crimson Skull Pack. These packs are smaller, but I can't keep taking them on if we don't start getting bigger packs with us, which is why Emeric and I are currently in Montana. We're meeting with Alpha Malik of the Ponderosa Pack. They're not only one of the biggest packs but also known for having already been allied with many other packs. If we can get them on our side, our chances of taking down the Crimson Skull Pack go up significantly.
I hate politics.
All of this is just politics. But when it comes to thwarting evil within our world, we are left with no other option.
I hate having to be away from my pack, especially with all the uncertainty surrounding what the Crimson Skull Pack has been up to. Luckily, Alpha Beo agreed to stay behind and keep an eye on things while Emeric and I go to Alpha Malik.
"Come on," I say. "Let's get out of here and grab something to eat. We should have enough time before we meet with Alpha Malik."
Emeric nods, and we walk out of our hotel room to check out.
A girl at the front desk has her back turned to us. She has dark, curly hair, and for a moment, my heart picks up pace in hopes it could be Willow, but it only deflates a moment later when she turns around.
It's not her; it's not my Willow.
I push the sting aside like I've done numerous times since Willow left. I can't tell you how many times this same scenario has played out over the past two years. But no matter where I've looked, I haven't been able to find her.
"Excuse me," Emeric says to the woman at the front desk. "Is there a place to eat around here? I'm starving."
The woman blushes as her heart starts to race. She likes Emeric. Unfortunately for her, he has eyes for only his mate. "Oh, um, yes, actually. There's a diner just up the road, a few blocks east. You can't miss it. They have the best sourdough pancakes, and the baked goods are to die for!"
"Sounds awesome. Thanks!" Emeric says.
"I hope you enjoy. They're the best breakfast you're going to get around here," she says, blushing even more.
"I'm sure we will." Emeric offers the girl a smile, which makes her look down at her hands.
"H-have a good day," she says shyly, making me smirk. Emeric spins around and starts toward the door, completely oblivious of this girl's reaction to him. Lyra has my Beta wrapped around her paw.
"Thank you," I say to the girl before following Emeric. We walk out of the hotel, heading in the direction the girl directed us. The place isn't far from our hotel. I can see it just up the road. It's a tiny place with a giant sign built on top.
"Max & Millie's Diner and Baked Goods," Emeric says beside me. He inhales deeply. "Yum! That must be the place. It smells amazing. I don't know about you, but I think I could eat my body weight in food right now. And by how good it smells from over here, I bet it's going to be the best meal of the trip so far."
Emeric rolls his hands together in anticipation, and I chuckle. Don't get me wrong, I can eat too. Being an Alpha male makes you hungry, but I've never seen anyone put down food like Emeric.
"You always eat your bodyweight in food, Emeric," I say, rolling my eyes. But as my stomach growls, I realize I'm quite hungry too, and he's not wrong about that smell: sugar, bacon, bread, and something else . . .
. . . I grab the door and pull it open for Emeric to enter, but a scent I haven't scented in over two years hits me hard like a punch.
Amber.
Caramel.
Smoke.
Something violently awakens—something that's been asleep and numb for two years.
My bond.
And it's angry. Very, very angry.
It twists and knots and pumps in my chest, coiling and uncoiling like a snake ready to bite, cling to, and consume, and it won't stop until it's finally consumed what should have been consumed a long time ago: my mate.
©2025 AMDS/Imaginationgirl35