Chapter Fourteen
I woke up the next morning, without a single regret. It made a change. Normally after getting drunk and sleeping with someone, I had a headache and felt like an idiot. This time there was none of that. Maybe it was because it wasn’t someone who I had randomly picked; it was someone who I knew was hot. I still wasn’t a big fan of Tristan but still. The guy had moves. I shivered thinking back to last night. Looking down at my stomach, my lips twisted into a single line. The bump was noticeable but I could pass it off as a food belly… right? Or I could just have put on weight? Sighing, I grabbed the first shirt I could see on the ground. A large white, v-neck. It wasn’t mine so it was either Dylan’s or Tristan’s.
Whilst I may have been lazy by leaving my clothes on the floor, I didn’t leave my underwear on the floor. There was a line and I drew it at that. I mean my bras ended up on the floor but not my pants. I had to wear them and they were going to be near my cooter! Opening my chest, I picked out some silky white ones. After last night, I wanted to feel a little innocent. Had I been in Dylan’s house, or Mason’s (or one of the other guys, or even Jo’s) I would have gone down in just this but I didn’t know who was around. What if it was Veronica? Or (God forbid) Paul?
Once I’d pulled on some grey, soft trackie bottoms and rolled up the bottoms and put on some socks, I looked over to the bed. Tristan was still asleep. The sheets were ruffled and only covered the bottom half of his body; his hot abs and muscly arms were still on show. I smiled at the sight – he looked innocent and sweet when he was asleep. His black, short hair was ruffled and it almost looked as if he had a small smile on his lips. Why couldn’t he look like this when he was awake? Tip-toeing across my room, being careful of what could be under the carpet of t-shirts, tops and jeans, I tried not to make a sound. He was probably suffering from lack of sleep and being severely drunk.
As I got to my door, I took one last look before slipping out. As soon as I shut the door, I sighed in relief. I was getting too good at sneaking out of rooms but never had I done it to my own. Normally if I’d slept with a guy and it was in one of the guys’ houses, I would have woken them up and kicked them out. For some reason, I couldn’t do it to Tristan. I blamed it on the hormones.
Padding down the stairs, I walked into the kitchen. I could see Dylan staring into his mug, looking a little depressed.
“Morning!” I chirped. I skipped over to the kettle and switched it on. “How was your night?” I asked as I started getting out a mug of my own and putting in an Earl Grey tea bag. Tea didn’t harm unborn babies, or at least I hadn’t heard of it. I wasn’t listening to the doctor when he was listing the things I couldn’t eat or drink. There was something about not having liver (although I’d never eat that anyway), fish (I was so angry about that, no sushi for me), on alcohol (obviously) and then some other stuff that I hadn’t listened to. I was tired!
“S’alright. Couldn’t really sleep though.” Dylan grumbled.
“Why, was Beau keeping you up all night?” I teased and danced around while waiting for the kettle to finish boiling. Dylan just shrugged and handed his mug over to me.
"Coffee, black, one sugar. And no, he wasn’t.” I rose an eyebrow at that – Beau seemed to really like Dylan.
“No?” I prompted.
“No. I wasn’t going to do it with him – he seems to be one of those guy who wants a relationship or something.” He mumbled.
“And you don’t?”
“It’s not that. It’s just…”
“Just what?” What was Dylan on about? “Dyl, what is it?”
“He’s too innocent.”
"What?” I spluttered, not quite knowing what exactly it was that I was hearing. Too innocent? Since when had that mattered to him?
“I don’t know. Just, everything’s changed. Ever since you left, things have been weird. I don’t know. Jo’s been more of a whore, Mason… well, Mason hasn’t changed but still. And I don’t know. I guess… I don’t know.” Dylan sighed. He looked really bugged over this and I had no idea why.
“You’re growing up?” I suggested. “And I’m sure the groups fine.” The group was stable, me leaving wouldn’t change that… surely?
“I guess – it’s just seeing you have this baby and everything. And the groups… well, you know what it’s like. I think everyone’s just taking their separate ways. We’ve not been as feared since you left. Since you were our ball of anger and all,” he smiled. I was about to say something before he interrupted me, “anyway, what’s up with you?”
“You know what’s up with me.” I smiled back at him. Hearing the kettle ‘click’ I poured the water into both our cups while waiting for his response.
“I mean, last night. That’s not my shirt and I know you don’t keep souvenirs from your… customers.” He winked after saying ‘customers’. Great – make me sound like a hoe.
“Last night was alright.” I said, not giving details. Dylan could see straight through me though.
“Alright? I don’t think alright was what I was hearing.”
“Excuse me?” I glanced up at him, my teaspoon held in mid-air balancing a soggy tea-bag on it.
“Please, everyone could hear you. You know, the guy must’ve been good if we could hear you. I think I only heard you scream like that once.” Dylan laughed. I didn’t know how to react – I didn’t think I was that loud. I mean… I know Tristan was amazing but was I that loud? God.
“I didn’t think I’d ever been that loud.” I shrugged. What else was I supposed to say?
“The only time was with Mason.” He smirked.
“Give it up – I never did it with Mason. You know that.” That was probably the biggest lie I’d ever told. I’d done it with Mason several times when I was fourteen. Actually, to be more exact, my fourteenth birthday. I was very drunk. And Mason didn’t want just any random guy to take my virginity so he offered and me being me, having a huge crush on him at the time, had agreed. It wasn’t a mistake and it was only the once. Okay, maybe we did a few more times after that but it never compromised our relationship. No-one knew. Except Dylan.
“Yeah, yeah, sure.” He scoffed. When me and Mason had broken it off, we promised not to tell anyone. I’d told Dylan and swore him to secrecy. He’d never told anyone else. And we always played it as if I hadn't slept with Mason and he was convinced we had; I didn't want to risk anyone else knowing.
"Whatever.” I scoffed, this time. I finished stirring the tea and coffee and putting the sugars in and went over to the fridge. Picking my iPod nano up from the side of the speaker, I plugged it in and pressed play. Why not wake everyone up? It was 11AM. “Oh my God. I love this song!”
“Who is it?” God, how had Dylan not heard Hollywood Undead?
“You know, I can take you straight to heaven if you let me,” I sang while dancing over to the counter with the milk, “you know, I can make your body levitate if you let me!” I didn’t let up, not even while pouring the milk. I bounced along to the music, singing tunelessly. Did I care? Not really.
“Wow, you sing?” I heard Thom’s voice, after finishing my little rapping session. “God, why haven’t you gone on X-Factor?” He laughed by the end.
“Thanks, Thom.” I sarcastically replied.
“No problem. Hey, why are you wearing Tristan’s shirt?” Uh oh. I couldn’t tell Thom I’d slept with his brother. Not yet, at least. I kinda wanted to keep it a secret for now.
“This? This isn’t Tristan’s. This is… Dylan’s!” Came my brilliant answer. Where had my lying skills gone? I used to be so smooth.
“It is because it’s got a hole in the back.” He rose his eyebrows at me in disbelief. Shit. How had I not noticed? Although, inspecting clothes wasn't my first priority.
“Well… maybe it is.” Okay, just play this cool. You can do this! “What does it matter?”
“Tristan’s not going to call you back, you know.”
“Who said I wanted him to?”
“And does he know about-,”
“No. And he doesn’t need to.” I shrugged. Why should he? It’s not like we were serious or anything. A one-night stand. That’s all it was. So, I may have wanted a relationship at one point but nothing good came out of them. You gave, and gave, and gave and then they just gave up without giving anything back. What was the point in giving and getting nothing out, and then having the heart break to remember them by? Flings were better – no feelings involved.
“He’s my brother.” Thom insisted. Oh my God – the brotherly act? Jesus Christ. This was not going to go well.
“Exactly. He’s your brother, he’s not you.” I snapped. “Which means he can make his own choices. He’s older than you and if he wanted a relationship he would have made it clear last night before we screwed.”
“What I want for my brother is what’s best for him!” Thom shouted back.
“Oh,” I felt wounded. I clearly wasn’t in that category, “so you and your brother can fuck whores, and sleep around but I can’t have one fuck with your brother? Is that how it is? You can do it but I can’t?”
“Mara… I didn’t mean,” he started to say before I interrupted him. How dare he?
“No, Thom, you did. Clearly, I’m not good enough for your brother and clearly-,” oh shit. Oh shit! My morning sickness had lovely timing and gave me no warning at all. Not bothering to explain, I ran out the back door (which nobody had locked, luckily for me) and puked in the bushes.
The worst part about the sickness wasn’t being sick. No. It was the fact that I had to hold my own hair up. It just reminded me that I had to do this alone; I had to raise a child on my own. Yes, I had friends who could help me but I was the one who had to get up in the middle of the night to feed her. Had to tell her that she was an accident. God. I was only two months pregnant and I was already thinking these things.
Holding my hair with one hand, and holding the wall with the other, I started to breath in and out slowly. I didn’t think I’d be sick again but I didn’t want to have a surprise visit. About five minutes later, Dylan came out.
“Mars, you alright?” I could hear the care in his voice. He was so sweet.
“Yep.” I replied. I took a deep breathe before speaking again. I still felt a little sick. “Just… give me a few more seconds.”
“Veronica’s wondering who’s puking up,” Dylan whispered, coming outside and shutting the door behind him, “what are you going to tell her?”
“That I can’t handle my alcohol?” I suggested.
“I doubt she’ll believe that. She may be blonde, but she’s not an idiot.” Dylan laughed. “Are you still mad at Thom?”
Pulling up my head, I breathed in the air. I could still taste the sick on my tongue. Eugh. It was like… oranges and carrots; hence why I never ate either anymore. “Yeah. I mean, it’s not like I’m some random person. Is it so bad that I want someone to actually want me? He may have been drunk but clearly he knew what he wanted. Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I’m going to ask Tristan to be the daddy!” My voice was raised by the end - both in pitch and volume.
“I know but Thom doesn’t know you like I do.” He smiled before coming to hug me. “God, you smell like puke.”
“Thanks,” I laughed, “do you want to go back in? It’s getting cold.”
Instead of replying, he held me by my waist and we walked into the kitchen. I could see Veronica and her boy toy… who was quite cute. Tristan was in the kitchen too, looking moody. He was topless and boy, I wish I could stare at that body all day. Thom was looking angry but his face softened when he saw me.
The air was tense and I had no idea what to do.
“So, uh, coffee anyone?” I asked, trying to break the silence. No-one answered. Great, what an awkward morning this was going to be.
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Thought I'd upload this now; seeing as my next two to three weeks are going to be mostly revision (although I've started on chapter fifteen, so it shouldn't be too long!). I can't promise when it'll be uploaded, but it will be!!!