"To be subjected to incest is a deeply wounding experience. Just as ignoring an infected wound will only make things worse, trying to ignore past sex abuse only magnifies the damage. Until courageously facing the issues in order to heal, incest victims are typically riddled with false shame and feel like freaks and isolated, but even more so for male victims of female sex offenders because such offenses are shrouded in such secrecy that few people are aware that female sex offenders even exist."
♦♦♦
"Say what?!" Everett bellowed throughout the apartment while she stared at her baby sister. Aiden, in her bunny slippers and an old sweatshirt that had once belonged to Elvis, shrugged her shoulders and continued to eat her ice cream as if what she'd just told her sister was no big deal. "What do you mean you were almost raped?"
Aiden lifted her shoulders again, in a nonchalant way. "I didn't mean rape rape. Just that a very attractive guy almost had his way with me earlier in the week, that's all. You're blowing it out of proportion. This is exactly why I don't tell you stuff."
"What do you mean he almost had his way with you?" Everett persisted, ignoring Aiden's other comments. "What'd he do, AJ?"
"He just..." Aiden shrugs again. "bent me over and brushed up against me a little bit."
"Did he touch your private areas?"
Aiden frowned at her sister. "What are you? Two? Just ask me if he touched my vagina, ass, or breasts." Everett started to open her mouth, but Aiden cut her off. "No."
"Well, do you remember his face or anything?"
"No."
"Do you remember what he was wearing?"
"Nooo."
"Do you remember his build?"
"From what I felt, he was a nice size.."
"Was there anything about him that stood out?"
"There was something about him that stood up." Aiden smiled at Everett, who was not the least bit amused. Everett frowned and placed a hand on her hip. Aiden knew what that look was for, and so she sighed.
"It's not a big deal. He apol-"
"Aiden, sexual harassment and rape are pretty big deals! And you're here talking about it like you would the weather. What'd you even do? Did you fight him?"
"Afterwards, yeah."
"Did you go to the police? Did you report it?"
"No. Because he apologized and I forgave him."
Aiden shoved another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth while Everett looked at her in amazement.
"Sister..." Everett shook her head in disbelief. "Do you hear yourself? Some random man tried to rape you. Then, after he failed, he apologized. And you... forgave him?"
Momentarily baffled, Aiden blinked twice before giggling a bit. She had to admit that the story, in the way that her sister had said it, sounded weird and completely unlike herself. It was absurd to think that Aiden had actually let a random man violate her. Both of Aiden's sisters knew that Aiden was not one to be bossed around. She hated being told what to do or getting forced into something. In some cases, she was nice enough that she was willing to do it voluntarily anyway. She was sure that Knox got away so easily because a hidden part of her had wanted him to touch her. Because Aiden tolerated a lot of things, but being a push-over was not one.
"Aiden..." Everett said with concern. Everett, studying psychology in college, was concerned that her younger sister was going through a stage of denial and desensitization. "Sweety, do you need therapy?"
"No, mom," Aiden drawled. Then, Aiden's eyes widened slowly in realization. "Actually, I do need therapy. Some painting therapy and I'm going right now."
She hopped up, practically tossed the empty bowl onto the wooden coffee table, and ran to her room. She returned some time later in a burgundy skater dress, under a tan, suede trench coat and white ballet flats.
"Where do you think you're going?" Everett questioned her sister, who gave no reply. Instead, Aiden eloquently wrapped a white scarf around her neck and fixed her hair into a side braid.
"Did thou not just heareth me, peasant?" Aiden clowned. "I'm going to do some painting."
"Where?"
"Elvis's basement. I paint there sometimes, when I get the urge. He left me the key to his house just in case I wanted to use it. And now I do."
Everett raised an eyebrow. "I see. And you had to get dressed up to go painting?"
"Silly rabbit. Aiden Jean Richter never leaves the house looking anything less than perfection. You, of all people, should know that. I am, unfortunately, your sister, after all."
Aiden whipped out her phone and was prepared to take a picture of herself when a fluffy couch pillow connected to the back of her head. At the exact moment she got hit, the camera went off and captured the incident. Aiden straightened her hair and glared at her sister before going into her phone's gallery to see the photo. She went from frowning to laughing in the span of two seconds.
"Look at that." Aiden tossed Everett the phone. Everett caught it easily and looked at the screen. She laughed at Aiden's sour facial expression in the picture and the way the pillow seemed to pose behind Aiden's head, with some effected blonde strands of hair flying from impact.
Everett threw the phone back and Aiden barely caught it before slipping it into her coat pocket, where her house key was as well.
"I'll be back." She told her older sister and left out, yelling, "Love ya!"
•••
"Let me hear you say this... is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s. This... is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s!"
Knox chuckled as Kolina, obviously feeling better than before, released her inner Gwen Stefani while jamming in the back seat of his car. They were on there way to have some fun at the bowling alley, but Koco was already having a good time all by her lonesome.
"Cause it ain't no holla back, girrrrrl, it ain't no holla back, girl!" She screeched.
"We're here," he told her as he pulled up to the bowling alley. A huge neon sign, in the form of a bowling ball and pins, was lit above the center. Knox had spotted Jackson's car while trying to find a parking spot, so he knew the old man was in there waiting for them.
Knox turned the car off and got out from behind the wheel to get Kolina. He opened the door for her and held onto to her hand as she slid out. Once her feet hit the gravel, he bowed as if he were her personal chauffeur and she reacted, saying, "Thank you, kind sir."
"You're welcome, m'lady." He smiled and held his hand out once again. She took it and they made their way to the entrance of the center with Kolina still humming the Gwen Stefani song. Knox smiled down at her as he opened the glass door and allowed her to enter first.
They found Jackson and his son, Knoah, easily; they were lingering at their assigned lanes. Jackson was putting on his bowling shoes and Knoah was nearby, picking out his bowling ball. Jackson glanced up as the two siblings came up to him. He smiled big when Kolina launched herself into his arms.
"Hi, Jackson!" She squealed.
"Hey, baby girl. I see you feelin' betta."
"Yea, my throat still hurts a little bit, but I'm okay," she assured him.
"That's good." Jackson glanced up at Knox, who was play fighting with Knoah. Jackson stood with Koco in his arms and walked over to the pair, smacking the both of their heads. Koco giggled. "Knock it off, children."
"Knock it off, children," Knox mocked in a exaggerated tone, causing Knoah to chuckle. Jackson roughly shoved Knox's shoulder, yet he still smiled and pulled the young man into an embrace.
"Get slapped if you want to," Jackson told him after letting him go.
"You can't even slap butter on toast with that arthritis in you hands, old man. So, what you talkin' 'bout?" Knox taunted.
"Try me, if you really wanna know," Jackson challenged, playfully pretending to punch Knox in his eye. Playing along, Knox stumbled and purposefully bumped into Knoah, who lost balance and fell into a chair. Knox then collapsed in the preteen's lap, pretending to be unconscious. "Get'cho overgrown ass up and get you and yo' sista some shoes."
"I'm dead," Knox said. "Can't move."
"But you can talk?" Knoah inquired.
"My ghost is talking." Knox replied.
"You're stupid, Knox."
Knox finally stood and grabbed Koco from Jackson's arms. He went over and got the both of them a pair of shoes. When they went back, they discovered that Jackson had already started the games.
•••
They were enjoying themselves. It was Knox and Kolina versus Jackson and Knoah. Even though they were playing against each other, it wasn't a competition. They were playing just to have fun.
They were on their third and final game. Knox was kneeling behind Koco as she stood before the lane. Her little hands were on the lime green bowling ball as if she was actually doing something, but Knox was the one holding the ball's weight. With his help, she pushed the ball down the lane. As it continued to roll towards the pins, it swerved and veered towards the gutters. Fortunately, Knox had the bumpers on and the ball managed to knock down three pins. Proud of herself, Koco cheered and high-fived her big brother.
Knoah was the last person to go. He went up and got a strike, the fourth one he'd made. Afterwards, the gang got ready to go. It was only seven o'clock, so Jackson suggested that he and Knox take the kids somewhere to eat. But after spotting a gentleman's club in distance, Knox decided that he wanted a little time to himself. Jackson agreed to take the kids and give Knox some time alone. Koco, wanting to be under her brother, put up a small fight, however her mind changed quickly once Jackson mentioned Chuck E. Cheese's. She gave Knox a kiss on the cheek before hurriedly getting into the backseat of Jackson's truck. Knox watched them pull off, then he walked towards the club.
When he walked in, the first thing he smelt was cigarettes and he automatically felt the urge to smoke. They were a crowd of men loitering at the entrance as they smoked on cigars and newports. Knox knew that he could easily ask for a cigarette from one of the men and receive one. But he didn't. Smoking was a nasty habit. It was one he didn't want to regress back into.
He made his way to the club's bar. The bartender, a gorgeous dark-skinned woman with a pixie cut and a septum piercing, was already by his side asking what he wanted to drink.
"Gimme the strongest thing you got," Knox told her. She nodded and turned away to study her wall of liquor. A small moment later, she sat a shot glass in front of him and poured him some polish vodka. Knox was quick to reach out for, but before he could she stopped him.
"Drink it slowly. It's strong, man," she warned him.
Knox sniffed it and grimaced. Then, with a shrug of his shoulders, he tipped the glass and drank the liquor.
He made a sour face and started coughing. The bartender laughed and reached over the countertop as far as she could to pat his back.
"I warned ya'," She gloated while still smiling. "Are you okay?"
"That is strong." He shook his head as what he thought was the dizzy feeling of drunkenness started to take over. It was a soothing feeling to him. "Gimme anotha' one."
"You sure?" The bartender asked.
Knox laid a couple of bills on the counter, letting his money talk for him. The bartender nodded and poured him another glass. He downed it, the liquor being a bit easier to consume than the first time. Like a lot of other people who drinks alcohol, Knox hated the taste, but he loved how the liquor made him feel.
He stayed there for a while, downing shot-after-shot of the vodka. He was trying to get drunk. But it just wasn't working. His body had a high tolerance and would not give in to the effects of the alcohol. His stomach was bubbling and his head felt fuzzy. However, it was more of a tipsy sensation than a drunk one.
A couple more drinks later, Knox gave up. Extremely tipsy, though not as drunk as he wanted to be, he swiveled in his seat to face the rest of the club. There were plenty of woman strutting around half naked, but none of them caught his eye. It was very unlike him to be in a room full of women and and not feel horny at all. Something was wrong.
"Hey, handsome." The sound of a soft voice had Knox sitting up in his seat. The blonde that had greeted him was standing to his left. She wore a lime green g-string and shimmering silver heels. Her bra was long gone and her breast sat up just right. Knox eyed her nipple piercings, wondering how much pain she'd went through to get them and how much they'd costed her.
His eyes left her boobs to study her face. She had doe-like olive green eyes that held a hint of sadness, exposing the fake smile on her face. Her cheeks were round and rosy, her nose was cute and pointed, and her lips were a light shade of pink. Her short dirty blonde hair fell around her face and shaped it in the most adorable way.
In his opinion, she was too adorable to be working at a strip club. She looked like more of a Hooter's girl to him.
"You want a dance?" She asked wiggling her eyebrows. It was meant to be sexy, but Knox chuckled. She was just too cute.
"No, thank you," he told her.
"Are you sure? I'll make it good," she tried again. He smiled and shook his head before pulling three twenties out of his pocket and putting them in the sides of her g-string. She smiled, thanked him, and walked off to another customer. Knox paid for his drinks and bid the bartender a goodnight before walking out of club.
He didn't know where to go or what to do. He was wandering now, he knew. But he felt so lost.
It was what had always bothered him when it came to times like this. He would always feel so confused, so lost, and so alone, but he could never figure out why.
He walked slowly to his car. Watching his size twelve feet intently as they moved across the gravelly parking lot. He could hear people laughing in the distance. He wondered if they were laughing at him. Knox then laughed at himself.
He continued to chuckle softly until he made it to his car. He opened the door and sat in front of the wheel. Taking in the smell of the car fresheners, he sighed. And then, he started to cry.
♦ ♦ ♦