I went and watched Paper Towns, guys. I love the movie and the book.
Landon
"Hello Margaret," I greeted Alice's Mom politely, "how are you?" I used to address her as her last name, but she claimed that made her feel too old and told me to call her by her first name.
"Oh," Margaret let out a sigh quietly, "I'm okay, honey. How are you?"
"I'm great," I answered as I walked the perimeter of the rug in our living room, the phone close to my ear, "Is Alice there?"
There was dead silence.
"Margaret--?" I took the phone away from my ear to see if the line had somehow ended, but we were, in fact, still on the phone. "Hello?"
"Landon," Margaret let out a shaky breath, "I'm sorry I haven't told you yet. I just didn't want to tell a lot of people. But you deserve to know."
My gut tightened, I stopped walking, freezing, "Tell me what?" I asked her slowly, my heart beginning to pound quicky in my chest.
"Oh, Landon, honey," she said, her tone soothing, "Alice is in the hospital."
I almost dropped the phone, "Wh--What?" I squeezed my eyes shut real tight, hoping it wasn't real, "What happened?"
There was a slight pause that began to slowly drive me to insanity from not knowing. "Alice, uh, she was -- has -- been starving herself. Couple of days ago, she was walking home from school... and she passed out from the lack of food she had been consuming. When we got to the hospital, the doctor informed John and I that Alice has been starving herself for a while now. She had been mostly drinking liquids instead of food."
"Oh my God," I stumbled over to the couch, I was beginning to shake, "Is--Is she okay?"
"She's recovering," she replied softly, "she's eating, but not much."
"Can I see her?" I asked, my eyes brimming with tears.
"Not right now, but you can sometime, okay? She just needs rest for a while." Margaret cleared her throat, "But I will call you and tell you how she is, okay? You'll be able to visit her in a little bit."
We got off the phone after that.
•••
"Landon, stop playing with your food," scolded my dad as he cut into his steak. Mandy didn't even glace at me. I looked up at him through my eyelashes. I felt sick to my stomach. I never noticed that my best friend was starving herself. I should've noticed the signs; the excuse of a big breakfast, only drinking water, denying the offers of food I'd give her, and the way she acted when she'd see food.
It was so obvious.
And I never noticed.
What kind of friend was I?
"Landon," my dad put a hand on my arm, looking at me with his eyebrows raised in concern, "are you okay?"
I blinked a couple times. I glanced back at him. Shooting him a smile, I said, "Yeah, I'm fine."
He stared at me, removing his hand off my arm. "Are you sure?"
"Yes," I nodded my head. I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine.
When dinner was over, I went to my room. My dad never questioned me further and Mandy didn't talk to me. She hasn't ever since I told her off not long ago. I hadn't expected neither of them to really talk much, when it came to them, I was good at lying.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Lan, what's up?"
"What are you doing right now?" I asked him, getting up and looking at my wall full of quotes.
"Oh, nothing much. I just put Emmy to bed and she's went asleep right away so -- hey, are you okay?"
"I--I don't think so."
"Landon, what's wrong? Are you crying? Yes, you are. Okay. Did Mandy say something? Talk to me, Lan."
I rested my head on the wall, tears falling down my face, "Bates, I need you here."
"I-- I'm on the way, okay?" Bates sounded panicked at my state. "I'll knock on the front door. That okay?"
"No," I shook my head, "go to the backyard. I'll be out there."
"Okay, do you want me to stay on the phone?"
"Yes." I sniffed as I made my way quietly down the stairs. My parents were already off to their room, showering and off to bed.
Bates arrived not long after. He climbed up on the porch steps, trying to not make the loud squeak each one made when weight was pressed down on it. He was shivering from the cold. And I was really cold too, we stared at one another, freezing.
I took his hand, pulling him inside quietly and led him into the darkness of the house. We slowly made our way to my room. Once we were inside, as soon as I closed the door, he cupped my face so we could look at each others face. He was blushing as he gazed at my face. I closed my eyes and let myself only focus on the fact that Bates is here and the way his little caring act made me feel. I moved away from him to turn on the small lamp, so it would be dim in the room.
"Are you still cold?" I asked, my voice seeming loud in the quiet room. We locked eyes, him nodding. We walked over to my bed and he sighed deeply when the covers began to get him warm again. We were facing each other, knees touching, and looked at one another, mesmerized.
"Is anyone home with Emmy?"
He nodded, "My mom is. She's, uh, asleep."
"Oh okay." I said.
"So," Bates began lowly, his hand reaching out to play with a long strand of hair that was laying halfway on my pillow and his. "What's up?"
I took a deep breath, looking at his one hand that was behind his head. "Um, I called Alice today." He waited for me to continue, eyes locked on my face. "But she didn't answer. Her Mom did. When I asked where she was," I swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat, "she told me Alice was in the hospital. She... She's been starving herself, Bates, and it got so bad that she had to go to the hospital and is recovering right now." He pulled me closer to him, so close I could feel his inhale and exhale and I could smell the paint and chilly air on him. "And I never noticed my best friend was doing that to herself. What kind of friend wouldn't notice? A bad one. I'm a bad friend."
Bates brought his hand to my cheek, caressing it. "Landon, you are not a bad friend. You are one of the truest person I've ever met. And you are such a good person, don't beat yourself up over what she was doing to herself. And it's okay that you hadn't noticed, she had gotten good at hiding it. But at least she finally got caught to what she was doing to herself and now she can get better." His hand ran down my arm, our fingers interlocking together.
"I know, I just feel awful that I had never noticed," I said as I sat up and began to play with his hair. He repositioned himself, his head in my lap while his hands rested at his sides. "Plus I'm so upset over the fact that she was doing that to herself."
"That's true," he said, gazing at the ceiling, "but at least you can be there for her. And everyone is insecure. When it comes to a point where she was starving herself is bad. But she is getting help. That's all that matters."
"Yes, I will be there for her as best as I can," I said, nodding to myself. We stayed silent for a little while, just our breathing filling the silent room. My hands were still running through his hair. I don't think I'll ever get used to the fact that Bates, in fact, likes me. Or that we are officially dating. Or the fact that is hair is so freaking soft I could play with it all day.
Suddenly he sat up, looking at me. "Y'know, I never noticed that you had stars on your ceiling."
I looked up to see the stars, the same stars Alice and I put up ourselves. "Oh, yeah," I looked back at him, "Alice and I had to put them in my room because I'd always lay out late at night, just gazing at the stars at night and thinking. My dad didn't like the idea of his daughter out at night, on the ground looking at stars, till midnight. So we went and bought the fake ones and decorated them in my room."
"Turn the lamp off," he said, laying on his back. He wanted to see the stars on the ceiling. I flicked the lamp off and the stars began to shine for us. "They are beautiful," he comments.
"Not as beautiful as the ones outside, but they still are beautiful." I commented, scooting over to him, his arm slipping around my waist and I closed my eyes as I became consumed by Bates and everything about him.
•••
When I work up from my alarm the next morning, Bates was no longer in my room. I hadn't expected him to stay anyways. My dad would flip if he found a boy sleeping in my bed. Especially since we were cuddling.
"Good morning," my dad said, patting my head as he passed me to get his bagel.
"Morning," I mumbled past my very own blueberry bagel.
"Did you sleep good?" he asked, spreading cream cheese on the bagel.
I nodded, gulping all of my milk and walked away to get dressed. I passed the bathroom, seeing Mandy apply makeup to her face. I braided my hair, slipping on a loose long sleeve and skinny jeans with my boots.
"Ready?" Mandy asks in a clipped tone, deciding to look at me. I nod my head, not saying a word to her. Sadly, today she was driving me to school.
Great. Just great.
"Are you too warm?" Mandy asked as the warm air blew at my face in the car.
"I'm fine," I mumbled, looking out the window, hoping to escape as soon as possible.
She lets out a sigh, seeming tired, "Look," I didn't glance at her, "I wanted to tell you that.. I never try to be mean; I just try to prepare you for the life ahead of you, Landon."
I didn't speak for quite some time, but when I did my tone was colder than the air, "Oh, I get it. Making someone feel worthless and not good enough so prepares me for the life that's ahead of me. Thank you, Mandy, for the useful information and experience."
She slammed her hand on the steering wheel, "Landon Grace McKinley! You will not talk to me that way."
"And you shouldn't talk to me that way either!" I shouted at her, finally turning to look at her, completely outraged at her logic.
She just stayed quiet, mad but quiet. We arrived at school not long after and I got out. Neither of us said our goodbyes.
Hey guys!
How was it?
I tried to make this better and let Bates and Landon hang out together (besides at school).
#Lates
Anyone waiting for Bates and Landon to go on a official date?
If so, what do you guys think they should do?
Comment/vote/share
Xoxo
Talia