1. I have lost interest in the things that used to mean lots to me - Yup
2. I feel sad, unhappy and depressed - of course
3. All joy and pleasure seem to have disappeared from my life - completely
4. I find it hard to make decisions - always have done
5. I feel tired/restless - all the time
6. I feel like a failure - every second of the day
7. I think of ways to commit suicide - already tried it and failed like everything else
8. My sleep is disturbed - all the time
9. I feel confined and imprisoned - yes
10. I feel guilty and deserved to be punished - completely
By the end of these stupid questions I was a blubbering mess. I couldn't breathe normally and I just felt like complete shit. My mates held onto me tight. Smothered in their scent. They kept talking to me softly, telling me how fantastic I was and how proud they were of me.
I wasn't though. I was horrid and disgusting. I don't even know how they could stand being so close to me right now after hearing those answers.
'Right then Dakota. I'm going to give you these pills you must take one every single day and also I'm going to recommend you see my friend in the neighbouring pack. Hes a trained therapist. He can help you with how your thinking and he'll just help you through coming to terms with certain events in your life and whatever you need help with. One step at a time.' Ethan told me. He wasn't giving me any options. No choice.
I nodded. Not like I had a choice. I looked down at my heavily bandaged wrists and sighed. It was probably for the best. I mean the last time I had made a decision it was to end my own life. I'm an idiot. So God damn stupid. Failure. Just worthless.
'Come on baby. Let's go see our pups. They're missing their papa. Especially one little rugrat in particular.' Tyler smiled as he stood with me still tucked in his arms. Kyler grabbed the pills and such off Ethan before following.
'Here we go.' Tyler said as he sat me down on our bed. I could hear my babies crying they were no longer small pups but actual human babies. It was my first time laying eyes on them. They were beautiful. Even my little ozzy was human. He was still so very small but he was so beautiful. His head was full of white hair and he looked so healthy. My baby was finally alright.
'I'm sorry. Sorry.' I broke down for like the hundredth time. I kept repeating those words, pulling at my hair.
'Its alright honey. You have nothing to be sorry for. Nothing. Just relax. Sshh. Everything's fine. Your fine. We are fine. Our beautiful babies are fine. Sshh.' Tyler cooed.
I let my mates gently lay me down so I was sandwiched between them. I felt myself relax a little. Their scent and heat washed over me and allowed me to gain some sense of control on myself.
'I'll be better. I promise.' I whimpered out. And i meant it.
'We know baby. And we will help you every step of the way. No matter what and how long it takes. We love you.' Kyler leaned up to kiss my cheek, Tyler copying after.
I gave a small smile and settled into their embrace as we abscently watched whatever was on TV.