I'm going to be completely honest with you guys. I never thought I would be doing this. But the endless support, feelings and comments that have just hit these chapters of Nick and Rayne's story has warmed my heart in so many ways. I'm so incredibly grateful for every single person that clicked read on this. It's been awhile and I know I've probably lost a lot of readers... A lot... But I'm ready to continue this. I don't want to give this up. So please enjoy.
With my eyes closed I could still see the whiteness of the sun through my throbbing eyelids. I was acutely aware of the pulsing vein in my forehead and a bruising in my neck just below my ear.
I really didn't want to wake up.
Easing my eyes open like rusty doors, I took in the the unfamiliar wallpaper by the window. And the unfamiliar window. And the unfamiliar carpet. And now I was suddenly very aware of legs tangled with mine.
Turning around slowly, I came face to face with sleeping Nick and my heart. Stopped. Beating.
There he was, just breathing onto my neck with every exhale. His bare chest rising and falling. I've never seen him so calm, the lines around his face smoothed out and molded to this masterpiece of perfection. Nick's pastel lips were slightly parted, his arm thrown back against the pillow, and his legs resting carelessly intertwined with mine.
Like butterfly wings, his eyes fluttered open.
I didn't remove my gaze.
He took me in the exact same way I had previously done with him, his eyes soaking up my liquid turmoil like a sponge, no inch left uninspected.
I felt his foot twitch slightly underneath mine.
"Goodmorning," he groggily mumbled, his voice a mixture of gravel and warm coffee.
"Morning," I breathed, because what else was I to say?
I was supposed to be mad at him, but where did we go from here? I didn't remember much from last night, except for the excessive drinking and the unplugging of my brain as it left around the corner. Now here I was waking up next to Nick and I tried to forget the way the his eyes were sparkling, or the way the morning light was hitting his face- highlighting his cheekbones and his eyelashes making shadows across his lids.
His hand floated up, long fingers falling one by one onto my cheek and a warm palm resting underneath my chin. It felt secure, cozy, and all at once exhilarating. My cells were dancing, my atoms bouncing off one another in a frenzy because they didn't know what to do when someone I thought of too much touched me in the simplest way. I didn't know what to do because my emotions were mixed up, telling me that I should be mad when I just felt deeper and deeper-
I closed my eyes, forcing myself not to think anymore, just to feel.
Nick leaned into me, his forehead pressed against the side of my temple, his nose skimming the surface of my round cheek. "Where do we go from here?" he mumbled, his voice husky.
I released a breath. "What do you expect me to say?"
His eyes opened, looking at me sadly. A release of breath left his lips. "That's the thing," he said. "I expect you to leave me. Because that's the logical thing to do. But..."
"But?"
"But, I don't want you too," he said, his voice stern. "I feel that I need you as much as you need me." His eyes were pleading, desperate.
I felt the pounding in my skull announce itself, as if to remind me that it was still there, there was still pain- there was still hurt.
"Can we talk about this when I don't have a hangover?" I mumbled, but gave him a small smile, letting him know I wasn't mad. "Let's just have an easy day, don't worry about what happens tomorrow or the next day. I don't want to think, Nick."
His hand brushed across my cheek lightly, then he got up from the bed. I watched his bare back as he walked into the bathroom, his shoulder blades molded beneath the taut skin with each step he took.
"Here, take this," he said when he had returned from the bathroom. He held out in his hand two aspirins and a glass of water. "You drank a lot last night, I'd be surprised if you didn't have a hangover." He gave me a small smile.
"Sorry about..." I grasped for words. "uh- whatever I might have done last night." I took a small sip of water to hide my blushing cheeks.
Nick collapsed on the bed in front of me, putting his chin on his fist he smiled to himself.
"Oh no," I groaned, my headache increasing. "don't make that face. What did I do?"
He chuckled, as if sharing some personal joke.
I sat up, crossing my legs. "Nicholas! Tell me," I groaned, playfully hitting him with a pillow. I hung my face in my hands. "Ugh, it's that bad?"
He shook his head. "No, it wasn't that bad. You just told me you really liked my hair," he sang and winked at me.
I looked at him, his hair messy from a night's sleep. "I do like your hair," I murmured and then bowed my head, slightly embarrassed.
"And I do like yours," he said, his voice low and husky.
I took a deep breath and pushed myself up from the bed. I had to get away from this intoxicating morning Nick before it killed me. Distancing myself, with Nick's eyes creeping their way up my back, I walked into the bathroom and grabbed the toothbrush I had claimed the other day. Furiously scrubbing at my teeth, I tried to scrub him from my mind.
He was driving me insane. Making me so mad at him one minute and then crave him like a drug the next. Did he understand what he was doing to me? There was no way that I could be with someone who was still in love with his brother's girlfriend. But what if I was just what he needed to get over her?
I groaned and fiercely continued to brush my teeth. I couldn't be a rebound. I just couldn't.
But then at the same time, when I thought of his smile, his eyes... The fire that ignited in my bones told me another thing. They told me that to be with Nick, it would be worth it. I could take what I could get.
After spitting water down the drain, I turned the knob of the sink, noticing a melody float throughout the apartment. Nick's voice poured out from underneath the door frame, wrapping around me when I stepped back into the room.
Like I said, I didn't want to think.
I followed it down the hallway and into the kitchen where he was opening a bag of croissants- still shirtless.
"I ordered us some breakfast," he said, hearing my footsteps come in behind and his singing ceased.
I took a deep breath, letting the oxygen fill my lungs and clear my pounding head before murmuring a thank you to Nick. "Why did you stop singing?" I asked, sitting down in front of him at the table.
His eyes landed on me for a couple beats too long. "I thought you might would want to talk to me instead of listening to me sing," he chuckled a bit.
Letting the croissant break off in my mouth, I blushed when I said, "I could listen to you sing all day."
A small smile lifted up the corner of his mouth. "And I could listen to you tell my my hair is nice all day."
I bit my lip and looked down. "I'm never going to live that down, am I?"
He shook his curtly. "Now that I think of it... you said a couple of other things..." He taped his finger against his chin.
My eyebrows rose. "Do tell."
He shrugged. "Not sure if I want to give away all my secrets just yet." His eyes were alight with things I wanted to know.
I pursed my lips and asked, "What's your proposition?"
"What makes you think I have one?"
I took a sip of my coffee, looking at him over the rim. "There's always a catch Jonas."
"Really want to hear my proposition?" he murmured, glancing up at me as he tore a piece of breakfast bread away.
I sighed. "If you'll tell me what it is that I said." I knew it had to be equally embarrassing.
He pulled his lips into his mouth and stared at me, drinking me up as I waited in anticipation. I should have gotten used to his overwhelming gaze by now but it still struck me with the same pitter patters in my chest.
"A chance."
I set my coffee cup down, letting the soft thump of it hitting the wood echo in the space between us. "A chance?" I asked.
He never let his eyes wander off of me. "My proposition is that you give us a chance."
My jaw tightened as I swallowed and pulled my eyes away from his own. "Nick, I don't want to talk about this."
He leaned over the table to push my gaze back up to his. My chin tingled. "No," he said. "we have to talk about this. I'm not letting you slip through my fingers all because I do stupid things."
I took labored breaths.
"I'm going to do more stupid things... I'm going to screw up. But- but I want to give us a chance. Not a chance sketched into a contract, but a real, tangible, consuming chance that this could turn into something good." He sighed and his eyes looked sad. "I'm just asking for a shot in the dark, Rayne."
I opened my mouth to say something before closing it again. My heart was doing flips in my chest and I thought I was about to die. He literally left me speechless...
Then I blurted, "I don't want to be your rebound." Even though I knew that if it came down to it, I would do it- despite what I wanted.
He let out a breath that it seemed he had been holding for ten years. "Trust me, there's no way a girl like you could be a rebound."
"What does that mean?"
He glanced up to the ceiling, gathering his words. "It means... It means that I'm not using you to get rid of memories of Anna. Or to help me forget about how I felt about her. You- you came out of no where, Rayne, and as we were talking or laughing or just even walking I would find myself never even once think of her. Which surprised me. It surprised me so much I tried to push you away."
I looked down.
"But," he continued. "I'm giving this a chance. I'm stepping out on a limb here, too. I just... I just want to know if you'll take that chance also."
I knew he was taking a chance. He wasn't one to let people in, express feelings. And I did- oh how so much I did- want to step out on the limb with him. I wanted to dive out on a limb with him. I was just afraid.
"What are you scared of, Rayne?" he asked, speaking my thoughts.
"Falling," I whispered. "I'm scared of falling."
He looked me straight into the eyes and with every ounce of sincerity, he said, "If you fall, I fall with you."
A/N
I know this was short for the long, long wait. But I had half of this chapter written when I decided to stop writing this story. I tried to pick up where I left off but I honestly couldn't remember where my thought process had once been. Since you guys asked for it so much, I'm leaving this in your hands. If you have any ideas of anything that you would love to see, please message me and I will try my best to integrate it. You have all been amazing. Thanks for giving me another chance.