A Foetus in Your Mother’s Uterus
CHAPTER 8
Jake
I couldn’t help but grin when I saw the door opening. Then her head poked out. A thousand watt grin lit up her face when she saw nobody.
Demented girl.
Has nobody ever taught her how to cross a road? Hello, crazy lady, you’re supposed to check left and right for your enemies too. I’m right here!
Then she put out one leg.
And that’s when I knew that I’d been missing something my entire life. Her legs could make a grown man weep. Even while fully covered in jeans. Not kidding.
Focus. Focus. Back to business.
Then she put out her other leg. Really, it’s a miracle I’m still standing.
Focus. Focus! Not on her legs, you dumb ass.
She was now completely outside, but was walking on her toes for some strange reason. I even thought I heard her chuckle once or twice. Well, if she was enjoying sneaking that much, I might as well oblige her by making her life a little more exciting.
“Going somewhere?”
She froze. After my words had sunk in, she didn't even waste her time turning around and just started running. So, she is scared of me, I thought in satisfaction. In, like, five seconds she was trapped against the wall.
“For a guy who is repulsed by me, you sure touch me a lot.”
Doesn’t she ever shut up?
“If you think that that immature comment will make me release you, you're wrong. I’m not letting you go until I’ve had my payback, understand?”
She looked outraged.
“Your payback?? I’m the one who has to get revenge, dimwit, not you. It’s not me that’s the biggest jackass on the planet!”
“So I’m the bad guy now, huh?”
I mean, she was the slut that helped her cheating sister!
“Why are we having this conversation again?” She asked me, in that sassy tone of hers.
“Because you can’t keep your mouth shut!”
By this time I was so angry that I was holding her by the collar of her shirt by one hand, while the other was clutching her arm. Her hands were pushed up against my chest, and clutched at fistfuls of my shirt, trying to push me away. Suddenly, she went limp.
I will never be able to understand this girl.
“Please don’t hurt me.” She begged in a fragile high pitched voice that was totally not Kayla.
“I’ll do whatever you tell me to, I promise.”
Was she really that scared of me? Shit, I was really starting to feel guilty now. Those big eyes of hers were pleading with me, and she looked so lost and scared—
“Not buying it.”
I jumped back at the sound of the principal’s voice.
He continued, “Kayla, dear, that was an amazing piece you put up for my benefit, you should seriously join the drama club, but you forget that I have known you since you were a foetus in your mother’s uterus. You just don’t submit to bullying like that, so I’m not going to believe your puppy dog eyes. However, I will have to punish the two of you for skipping class to try and murder each other. Follow me.”
At first I didn’t understand what he was saying. Then it dawned upon my senses.
Bitch! She is such a manipulating bitch!
Thank god Principal Baxter was smart enough to see through her little bit of acting, otherwise I’d have been slapped with bullying charges. Can’t believe I felt guilty. If I get my hands on her again I’m going to—
“Sit down.”
Both of us sat down in front of his desk, while he took his chair, which was more like a couch. He started munching on his pizza.
“So, want to tell me what it is between you two?”
“Umm…no?”
“That wasn’t a question, Kayla Jean Jackson.”
“Well, it sure sounded like one.” She muttered.
“Don’t act smart, Kayla. I know all about the head banging incident in the cafeteria. Also, you were literally going at each others’ throats outside the restroom, before Kayla started her ‘I’m innocent act’ to try and fool me. I do not advocate violence in my school, children. And since the shrink’s on leave today, let me do this one by one. Kayla, why do you loathe Jake?”
She kept staring out of the window with a bored expression on her face.
“Why are you not answering my question?” Principal Baxter asked.
“Maybe because the last question you asked me wasn’t actually a question, so I don’t know whether this one was a question? Wait a second, was this a question?”
“Now that you’ve drenched me with a bucketful of sarcasm, can you please answer the question?”
“See, there you go again. How am I supposed to know if that’s a question?”
Principal Baxter turned to me with a pained expression.
“Ah Jake, this is why she’s an average scorer. If she just listened to the textbook instead of arguing with it, she’d be a brilliant student.”
“I don’t waste my time arguing with textbooks.” And that was, you guessed it, Kayla shooting her mouth off again.
By now, I was getting sort of uncomfortable about this Oh-we-are-diaper-buddies attitude in the room. I mean I hadn’t said a word since the principal arrived on scene. Even if I’d said something it would have drowned amidst their bickering.
“So, how do you two know each other, um, outside of school?”
What I really wanted to say was this, ‘Is it just me, or is this starting to feel like a kitty party?’ But I have a feeling that wouldn’t have gone down too well with two old friends catching up.
“My mother decided to grace him with her friendship when they were in eighth grade, which is why I’m stuck with him for my Sunday brunch company.”
Kayla stated it like a well rehearsed line.
“He was all lonely because my mother’s best friend had dumped him because he was too fat and looked ugly with braces and had bad breath and—”
“And I have decided my punishment for you, which will extend to two weeks if you continue lying about my charms in eighth grade.”
“Charms, pssh. What charms?”
He ignored her and turned to me. I was starting to notice a pattern out here.
“Ah, Jake, as you know, this is the most respectable school in the district—”
Kayla sniffed. “It’s the only school in the district.”
“—and I hate hate, I have decided to make you give up your hate for each other. And since you only just cleaned the graffiti yesterday, and there won’t be another one until next week for you to clean, I am going to have to make you work together some other way. After school. For a week.”
“What?” We both yelled, but he ignored us, so we shut up and listened.
“On a school project for charity. See, we are trying to sell all the second hand stuff people have donated, to get money, obviously. But we need publicity. So Kayla will do the photos with Jake advertising the second hand apparel for guys. I think you’ll do better than that Eric guy, because he looks kind of ‘pretty’. Don’t be sad Kayla, maybe he’ll work out for the kid’s section. Can’t help the fact that the guy you like has a baby face.”
“For the last time Mr. Baxter, I do not like Eric!!” She said, blushing furiously.
“Never said you did.”
Oh, so she liked Eric, did she? Filed away for further use.
“Also, you’ll be modelling for the shoes to be sold, since you’ve always had pretty legs. And of course, Courtney will do the clothing line because of her, erm, assets.”
“Her fake boobs, you mean. You are such a big pervert. I’ll be sure to never ever show you my legs.”
Oh god. I’ll never get over the fact that our principal gossips about Courtney’s boobs. Although, they are sort of big. And when she talks to you, they keep jiggling, like she wants you to look at them. Oh, and she goes braless quite frequently too.
Really, she should do a porno flick. Her ‘assets’ are totally wasted at our school. No pun intended on the wasted part.
Principal Baxter coughed.
“Maybe you can do the hats too Kayla. You have pretty hair.”
“Okay, calm down Kayla. No matter how much your perverted principal creeps you out, covering your hair is an entirely unnecessary step. Deep breaths, deep breaths.”
“You said that out loud, Kayla.”
“I know. By the way, if I’m going to be posing for hats and shoes, who’s going to photograph me?”
“Stop thinking that the universe revolves around you, Kayla. There are other photographers here. Carter will do it.”
“Carter? As in the guy who I haven't heard talking yet?”
Carter? Poor Alyssa, she won’t get him alone after school. Carter was always the shy quite type. God only knows how Alyssa managed to make him like her. He must have been scared stiff of her.
“Yes.”
“What makes you think that I want to be in front of the camera? I suffer from stage fright, for god’s sake!”
“That is the thing about punishment. It makes you do things you don’t want to.” Mr. Baxter drawled. I kind of admired him for the easy way with which he handled Kayla’s tantrums.
“But my photos won’t come out well! I’ll get nervous. Nobody wants to buy stuff that is advertised by a constipated looking female.”
“You got that right.” I muttered.
And that was the first time I ever agreed with what Kayla said. She glared at me.
Suddenly Mr. Baxter turned serious.
“I mean it kids, no fighting. I want this completed by the end of one week and the photos at my desk. You can photograph at any location you want, just be sure not to damage the second hand stuff you’re posing with. It’s all stored in the basement. Here are the keys. Start from tomorrow after school. The file on the cabinet beside the door will give you details about the name of the charity etcetera etcetera. Now, go and help the school make some money.”
On that positive note, we took the file off the cabinet and departed. Kayla went into advanced super manager mode.
“Okay, so we have only one shot at this. I’ll go brief Carter, while you go inform Courtney.”
“Why do I have to inform Courtney?”
“Because, I like to keep face clean and clear.”
“I was totally supposed to understand that.”
“Stupid, that means that she’s out for my blood, and if I want to keep my face free of nail imprints, I have to ‘keep safe distance’. Plus, you're a guy. She’s attracted to hot guys like a piece of iron to magnet.”
“You think I’m hot.” And why am I feeling like smiling?
“So does the principal. Big deal. Also, I’d like us all to meet after school in the basement where we are going to sort out the stuff, shortlist items, and decide locations accordingly. The next five days will be shooting and the seventh day we’ll all add finishing touches. Got it?”
“We have to work on Sunday’s too?”
“All you have to do is stand there and pose. And let us use your car.”
“You don’t have a car?”
“My mother doesn’t trust me with vehicles. Long story, you wouldn’t want to know.”
I wanted to, but I wasn’t going to tell her that.
“Fine, but I’ll drive.”
“And Jake?”
I felt a strange thrill race through me. This was the first time she’d ever said my name. Even when she interviewed us for games, she called us by our last name, just like we called her Jackson.
“Jake?”
I liked the way she said it.
“Jake!”
“Yeah?”
“Stop spacing out. The faster we do this, the better. So could we just, like, not yell at each other for a week? Because I won’t be able to work like that. I know we both sort of hate each other, but it’s just one week. Can we call a truce?”
A truce? She faked the damsel in distress part to get me punishment. She is trouble. Say no. Say no.
“Please?”
It was the please that did it. It was only temporary, after all.
“Okay. Fine.”
And then, you're not going to believe this, I SMILED. Really, without any malice or anger.
I smiled at her.
She looked like she’d been hit by a truck and was waiting for five more to run her over. But, I’ve got to give her this, she recovered pretty quickly.
“Umm, you were pretty quiet in there.” She observed.
“You think? I’m surprised you noticed over the sound of your own voice.”
She laughed. And I kept staring at her like the stupid moron that I wasn’t.
“But, seriously, why were you so quiet? Even when he brought up the stupid punishment, you hardly protested.”
“He was going to punish us anyway. What's the point of arguing?” I shrugged.
“Wow. Anyways, see you after school. I’ve got English now.”
“I’ve got History. Just my luck. Finnegan’s going to turn me to toast.”
She grinned and took a step closer to me.
“I’m glad we called a truce. I was running out of comebacks, you know.”
Then she gave me one last smile and left. I was grinning all the way to the History class. Mr. Finnegan took one look at me and started.
“You—You! Nobody is ever late to my class. I will make you pay—you will—”
“I will appreciate if I am left alone. I just came from the principal’s office, so if you have a problem with that, you can go tell Mr. Baxter not to give complicated punishments that take an hour to explain.”
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This book has very few comments. Comment people! Let me know what you think! What you feel! I want to knowwww. oh lord you all are driving me nuts. On a side note: I think I might be obsessed with Kayla's legs...huh. Maybe it's because mine aren't long and sexy :P
RandomFactAboutMe #8: I don't have long sexy legs. Sorry to dissapoint xD