Jake.
I sit back, letting it all settle in. I watch in glory as people throw up off of my balcony as couples hook up in the bushes a mere foot away. This party is everything I had hoped it would be, and more.
"Hey, no throwing up in the pool!" I shout at some scrawny kid who doesn't look like he's going to hold his liquor very well. He gives me a terrified look which causes me to groan. If this kid pisses in my pool...
Bending down to pick up a half drank bottle of vodka someone left sitting alone, I head around the house, enjoying the fresh air. The house is getting a bit stuff with all the people crammed in their. Then you add the weed on top of it? It's enough to send me into an asthma attack.
Taking a large swig from the bottle, I take my sweet time walking around the house to the front yard. My eyes land on the bathroom-clad neighborhood that's forming outside in the streets. They all give me death glares, beginning to shout at me.
I put on my sweetest smile and wave back to them. Though they shout threats at me, warning me they'll call the cops to 'land my sorry ass in jail for good', I know they're all empty. They're terrified of my parents and wouldn't dare do something to piss them off.
"Jake!" I hear someone hiss.
I look up to see an extremely peeved Jennifer standing on the sidewalk in front of my house. She jumps out of the way as a reckless car drives over the sidewalk to park in my lawn with the other cars. The passengers of the car give me an excited, slightly drunk holler as they get out and head towards the house.
Checking over my shoulder every few seconds to make sure nobody's watching me, I race over to Jennifer, trying my hardest not to stumble all over the place. I can feel the alcohol starting to mess with my head. I really should have ate something before.
"Hey Jen," I smirk, reaching out to place my hands on her hips and pull her to me, planting a friendly and drunk kiss on her lips.
She pulls away and gives me a look full of irritation. It's a look I've grown accustomed to.
"What's all this? I thought we were hanging tonight?" She asks, gesturing to the loud house; the incredibly loud music can be heard clearly from where we're standing.
"We still can. It's just a party, Jen. It won't kill you," I roll my eyes, reaching out to grab her hand once again.
I still have no idea how the two of us are such close friends. She's this uptight responsible girl and I'm the opposite. I suppose we balance each other out...
"What good is this going to do? How is this party going to solve any of your problems?" She asks me, wriggling free from my grip to plant her hands on my hips.
I can feel the disappointment radiating from her glare. Here she goes; she's going to pull out her wisdom and make me feel like a complete idiot for every choice I've ever made. She makes me feel like such a screw up sometimes.
Though I know she's not doing this to make me feel bad. She's only looking out for me. I know she loves me like a brother - a very dysfunctional sibling relationship; yes - and she only wants me to make better decisions.
"Look, I'm surrounded by friends. I never feel lonely at parties," I tell her, speaking softly so nobody around us can hear.
The downside to getting rather drunk off my face is that the truth just comes flying out of me. I know I've got to lay off of the booze, otherwise a certain secret will be revealed. A certain secret belonging to a certain freckle faced wallflower that I haven't seen since this morning.
"None of these people are your friends, Jake. They love the party; not you. Don't you see that?" She frowns, reaching out to plant her hands on each of my shoulder.
Not wanting to believe a word she says, I take a step away from her. I can't help but to let the hurt show on my face.
"Thanks Jen. You're the best," I choke out, shaking my head with frustration as I turn around and walk right back to the party.
"Whatever Jake!" Jen shouts angrily after me.
I glance over my shoulder to see her marching right back towards her car, throwing the driver door open with a frantic speed. I can't help but to let out a groan, knowing very well I'll have to deal with her in a few days after this blows over.
Most of our interactions end up with us arguing. We really do act like siblings. I love her to death but she really pisses me off sometimes.
"Jake, my man!" Someone shouts at me, replacing my irritated frown with an amused, drunk smirk.
Ah, what the hell! I grab my bottle and take a large swig of it before wrapping my arm around the shoulder of some person I can't quite put my finger on their name.
Charlie.
My entire body shakes with anxiety as I'm shoved from every direction as I try to find a way out of the house. I feel incredibly dirty, needing a shower right now, as sweaty bodies press up against me as I walk through the dancing area.
Somehow I managed to walk in a complete circle and I end up right back where Pia had left me a half hour ago.
Feeling extremely light-headed, I plop down on the couch beside a group of people passing around some sort of cigarette. They completely ignore me, all too concentrated about their deep conversation about life and death.
I close my eyes and bring my knees to my chest, ready to burst into tears at any moment. Why did I think coming to this party with four people I hardly know was a good idea? If this is what normal feels like, I'd rather be cooped up with my dysfunctional self.
Knowing if I'm here much longer I'll end up passing out, I fish through my purse for my phone. There has to be something I can do.
Call the police? Call my parents?
Both of those sound like more trouble than necessary. My parents are literally the last people I want to see at the moment. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't be in this situation right now. I know my disorder is a inconvenience for them, but can't they just let me live my life cooped up in my bedroom?
My hands land on my cellphone and I fight to breathe. It doesn't help that the smoke wafting off of the cigarette is blowing right into my face, thanks to the guy in dreads that's seated beside me. I give him a terrified expression which causes the entire couch to burst into loud laughter.
I scroll through my contacts - the little amount I have - desperately hoping one sticks out as a safe person to call in this time of need.
Luckily for me, one does.
Wesley.
He's the son of my therapist/shrink. He's always hanging around her office. He's a really great guy; only a year older than me. I've known him since I started going to Dr. Kohler's office when I was about ten years old. He had given me his number in case I ever needed someone to talk to.
Is this an okay time to need to talk? And by talk to him I mean give him this address so he can save me.
Not knowing what else to do, I press his name, holding the phone up to my ear to wait for him to answer. I have to plug my other ear to even be able to remotely hear him.
"Hello?"
"Hi Wesley, this is Charlie," I let out a sigh of relief when he picks up. I can hear my heart beat increasing as the minutes tick by.
"Charlie? Is everything okay?" He asks, sounding incredibly concerned.
He knows I wouldn't call him for nothing.
"Um, actually it's not," I admit, my voice cracking as I start to descend into a nervous breakdown. I can feel my chest becoming heavy as it gets harder to breathe, "I'm at this party and I need to get out of here."
I can hear fumbling around on his end of the line. Guilt starts to eat at me as I realize I probably disrupted his Friday night. Unlike me, he's normal. He probably had plans. Plans that weren't meant to be spoiled by me.
"I'm really sorry. I'm not sure why I called you. Just pretend I never called, I'm really sorry," I mutter, having to put my head between my knees to get better breath support.
"No, no, no!" Wesley shouts before I can hang up the phone, "Don't worry about it. Where are you?" He asks, sounding a hundred percent genuine.
"I'm not sure of the address. I'm a Jake Feldson's party," I explain, regretting not looking at the street address when I walked here.
I can feel my palms getting sweaty, making it difficult to hold on to the phone. I have to grip it tightly with both hands to avoid dropping it to the ground. I can feel the people around me giving me strange looks; nothing I'm not used to.
"Okay, I think I know where that is. I'll be there in a bit," Wesley says after a moment of silence, probably trying to figure out a plan to get to this random house.
"Thanks Wesley," I croak before hanging up.
I wrap my arms around my knees, squeezing my eyes shut as I rock back and forth.
C'mon Charlie. You can do this. Wesley will be here in a few minutes. Don't have one of your meltdowns in front of everyone.
It's already hard enough to show my face at school. If I have one of my breakdowns at the biggest party of the year, I'll be done for. I'll be forced to be home schooled which will make me out to be an even bigger burden for my parents.
I scratch at my dirty skin nervously, trying my hardest to avoid eye contact with anyone at this place.
Pia.
After I drop a rather wasted Clove off with Daimon, where I know she's in semi-safe hands, I take off to see the one person I haven't seen all night:
Jake.
Several people give me 'the wave'; the international symbol that means, 'Hey Pia, give me drugs'. With the large size of supply that's stuffed in my jacket, you'd think I'd be sprinting towards interested customers.
Instead I simply gesture for them to hold on as I continue my search for the party host. He's been acting strange as of lately, and if there's any time for him to spill what's going on, it's when he's drunk. Jake drunk has to be one of the most fascinating things on this planet. And I'm not just saying that because I'm drunk too.
Or because I'm pathetically in love with him.
I pass the surprising group of jocks that have made an appearance to this highly illegal party, not hesitating to give them a confused look. Even 'golden boy' himself - Mason - is here. Though he doesn't appear to be enjoying himself very much. Go figure.
Somehow I manage to make my way to the front door, although I had intended to go to the back door. When you get in the middle of the dance floor, you never quite know where you'll end up.
I'm about to submerge myself back into the sea of grinding bodies when I spot Jake standing outside. He's chatting with some guy that looks like he could be in his mid-thirties. Jake's pretending to be interested, but I can see right through it.
Normally I'd try and play it cool, waiting inside for Jake to come in and act as if he was the last thing on my mind. But the booze has flooded my brain with bad ideas and I stumble out the front door, practically falling down the doorsteps.
Luckily Jake's there to catch me before I land on my face. He laughs loudly, obviously far from sober himself. The man he was talking to heads inside as I steady myself with the help of Jake's muscular shoulder.
"Where have you been all night?" I ask, my words slurring even though I try my hardest to sound coherent.
"Around," He shrugs, wearing that devilish smirk that's always plastered on his face. Somehow I muster up enough power to keep myself from kissing that same smirk.
I pretend to stagger a bit more than necessary, just so he wraps his arm around my waist to keep me from falling. I've gotten quite good at finding joy in the little things when it comes to him.
"Where have you been all night?" He asks, taking another swig from the bottle of liquor he holds in his other hand.
Unable to stop giggling, sounding very much like an idiot, I open my letterman jacket, revealing the large clear bag, stock full of the drug assortment.
"Trying to get rid of all these drugs," I admit.
Jake's eyes nearly bulge out of his head. He reaches out to close my jacket, looking around to make sure there's no narcs around us. He shakes his head and laughs loudly along with me.
Though I've never come right out and told anyone that I'm a drug dealer, Jake's the only person I'd trust with that secret. I've tried hard to keep it from him because he'd never go after me then. He goes after stupid, pretty girls that have big boobs.
But at this point, I need all the help I can get. Otherwise I'm going to have to come up with the money for all this shit. And seeing as how I can't even afford to drive a car, that seems highly unlikely.
"Well, let's go and sell some drugs," Jake gives my waist a squeeze, flashing me his lovable little grin.
Maybe, just maybe, Jake will love me, even if I'm a drug dealer and I don't have big boobs.
But more than likely I'll wake up from the massive amount of alcohol I've consumed in the past hour and regret every decision I've made tonight.
And Jake will still only see me as 'one of the guys'.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AN: hello everyone; it's been awhile & I do apologize!
I also apologize for the shortness of this chapter! I didn't want to go into the next part because then it'd end up being a hundred pages...
i'm glad to be back to this story. can't make any promises as to when the next update will be, but hopefully not so long!
leave your thoughts/opinions/etc. in the comments below!
ps. the song on the side is 'Losers' by Belle Brigade! give it a listen, yeah?