Jade [11:37AM] Just finished talking to Pearl about the floral arrangement. She REALLY doesn't have a favorite flower. She just wants the place to look pretty. Sorry. :(
Sent [11:38AM] It's okay. Maybe we can fill the church and reception area with your favorite flowers instead?
Jade [11:38AM] I'm sure Pearl will love a room full of Gardenias. *Sarcasm*
Sent [11:39AM] Jade, I'm serious. Pearl asking me to design the wedding with ANY flower is like asking a painter to paint you whatever. They'll usually go to whatever inspires them at that time.
Her reply doesn't come as quickly as it should have and I begin to worry that I may have said something that didn't sit well with the heiress. I hook my finger around the small handle of my mug so I could take a sip, the warm bittersweet and creamy flavor of the coffee caressing my tongue and throat on it's way to my stomach.
Batchi and I were in our usual spot in the coffee shop across the street from the hospital. This is where my days now usually starts after I shower in the room and thankfully, despite the hospital being known for it's incompetent crew, nurses were available to check on my father. Of course, I still had Wila, Batchi or even Abby stand watch as I get my caffeine fix but since they said that Pa was stable, I didn't feel the need to bother them or ask them to watch him.
"What's up with you lately?" Batchi asks as she peers up at me through her thick rimmed glasses.
I hum in question before putting down my cup, "What are you talking about?"
The petite woman closes the laptop in front of her, "first of all, you and Wila as friends? Months after she cheated on you? I don't buy it. Also, we've been sitting here for hours and you've been on your phone almost the whole time, which I don't mind since I'm busy with Pearl's wedding but you used to hate being stuck on that thing. So what's up man? Is that Lauren you keep texting?"
If I had been drinking a second before, I could have used that as an excuse for the choked sound that came from my throat and the added flush to my skin. "I'm not talking to Lauren. I'm also busy with Pearl's wedding."
"Oh are you?"
"Yes. I'm--" my phone vibrates noisily and I quickly snatch it from the table;
Jade [11:45] So why ask me?
"You're?" Batchi asks, urging me to finish my statement.
"I'm... just... gonna reply to this... hold on." I answer without looking away from the screen as I typed my answer.
Sent [11:46] Take a guess. Slow replies for now, Batchi's being clingy and question-y.
"Althea, who are you texting and why are you smiling like an idiot?"
I roll my eyes and set my phone down on the table, keeping it where I could see both the screen and the notification light in case a message comes in. "I'm trying to find out what kind of flowers Pearl prefers."
"How?"
"I have my ways. Anyway, I was wanting to talk to you about that."
Batchi takes a small sip of her tea then places it gently on the table before answering, "about Pearl's wedding?"
"Yeah." I nod.
She nods in return then sits back to look at me fully, crossing one leg over the other as she settled on the seat. "What about it?"
A sigh passes my lips and my hand drifts to the back of my head, scratching it as I always did when I felt shy, "I need another job, Batch. With Pa being in the hospital for two weeks now, my paycheck isn't going get me through this month."
"That's it? Dude, no problem. With you around, I'll have more time with Abby and Marinelle. It's perfect!" Batchi grins, the dimple on her cheek deepening as her smile grew.
The phone vibrates again but I decide to let it be for now, "Are you sure?" I ask, ignoring the way my hands itched to check the message.
"Of course. There is one thing I'm worried about though."
"What is it?"
"Jade."
The name slipping from Batchi's lips make my throat constrict and I clear it before answering, "What... W-what about Jade? Is there a problem?"
God did she find out about the farm incident? She's known me for years, shit, she must know I have some sort of attraction to Jade.
She nods before taking another sip of her tea, "you told me about that David dude, remember? Since Jade's the maid of honor and she volunteered to oversee everything, you might have to work with her and that means you might see David a lot. You know, if I send you out on meetings."
"Oh!" I yelp in surprise, subtly releasing a sigh of relief. "No. No. That's not going to be a problem. Jade and I are on good terms."
"Are you sure?"
As long as I stay at least three feet from her so I can think clearly. I thought with a reassuring nod
"Alright. I'll send you my files and get you all caught up."
I hum in approval as my hands finally reach for the phone.
Jade [11:48AM] I suck at guessing. Question-y? About what?
Sent [12:02PM] Nothing. Didn't you say you were supposed to meet Sally today?
Jade [12:10PM] I am! I'm on my way to her right now.
Sent [12:11PM] You forgot didn't you?
Jade [12:15PM] Haha! I blame you. About to drive. I'll text you soon.
Sent [12:15PM] Be safe, Jade.
As soon as I look up from my phone, I see Batchi throwing a dirty but knowing look, "What?" I ask with a shaky laugh.
"Must have been one hell of a dinner." She muses lightly, the hints of a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips.
"What are you-- oh... No. No. The dinner was fun but this isn't Lauren."
Batchi hummed and in a tone dripping with sarcasm, she added. "Uh huh."
"I'm serious. I told you, Lauren left me at the restaurant; she hasn't replied to any of my texts. She hasn't even returned that phone call that you made." I say with a hint of sadness, unable to help it after not knowing where Lauren and I stood.
My companion shrugs then begins to pack up her laptop, "what did you expect? You rejected her."
"Nicely." I added in my own defense.
"You still rejected her. That hurts anyone's ego."
I sigh deeply before finishing the last of my coffee, "She seemed okay. I hope she is. I like her as a friend and if it wasn't for J-- stuff, I would totally date her."
"Whoa whoa whoa." Batchi says while waving his hands in front of me, "oh no you don't Althea Guevarra. If it wasn't for what? What were you supposed to say?"
My voice gets caught in my throat and I desperately try to find something else that would distract Batchi.
A fire, maybe?
Like an answered prayer, I recognize the woman that had just entered the coffee shop. She looked absolutely pristine in her floral dress and fair skin that she stood out amongst the crowd. She was flanked by a couple of other women who wore the lab coat embroidered with the hospital's logo.
What the hell was Pearl doing in a public hospital?
She scans the dining area for an available seat and that's where our eyes meet, she smiles in pleasant surprise then turns to her companions. They nod and head for the counted while Pearl made her way to our table.
"Althea! Batchi! What a coincidence!" She greets happily before pressing her cheek against Batchi's then mine.
"Hi Pearl."
"Pearl." Batchi and I say consecutively, a warm smile on our lips.
"What are you guys doing here? Visiting someone?" She asks as she gestures to the hospital.
My smile turns from warm to tight, "Yeah, my dad was confined two weeks ago and we're still here since he's under observation."
"Oh. I'm sorry." Pearl pouts, "I won't ask what happened but I hope he's okay?"
"He's okay. Very grumpy though; he hates hospitals." I nod, appreciating her politeness; then realizing what I had said, quickly doubled back and added, "no offense."
Pearl threw an understanding smile, "None taken. Believe it or not, I dislike seeing people confined to a hospital bed to; unless of course they really have to be there."
"Pearl?" the two doctors Pearl was with called out. "Sorry, I have to go. It was nice bumping into you two!" She smiles before making her way to the other table.
After a few moments, I turn to Batchi and muttered a silent, "Pearl seems nice."
She snorts, "they all do. Wait until a month before the wedding, that's when the Bridezilla's show themselves."
With my father stable enough after a few days in the hospital, I was able to get back into the grind almost without missing a beat and surprisingly, Pearl's flower arrangements was my biggest obstacle instead of school or taking care of the shop at the same time as carrying for my Pa.
Today the class had free time drawing and making whatever they wanted party because I had yet to work my way through the lists of medicine and instructions for taking care of Pa; Along with that was a long list of bills I had yet to begun, hoping that if I pretend they didn't exist, sooner or later they would disappear.
Thankfully, the class left me alone to drown in the paperworks as they huddled together in one corner of the room.
When the bell sounds, I look up my desk to call the kids back to their seats but I'm stopped as I register them all standing in front of my desk, their hands hidden behind their back.
"What's going on guys?" I ask curiously as I slip the papers back into my bag.
Samantha steps forward with a shy smile before speaking, "Mister Simon told us that your daddy was in the hospital so we made this." She smiles then like an adorable dance, her classmates move to show me a giant card made from the paper that I had given them, taped together to form a giant Get Well Soon card.
The words were plastered at the top of the papers, hand painted in every color available; where the 'G' was way too big next to the 'e', the two 'L's' were crooked and the 'oon' was too far away from the S. The bottom half of the card sported a giant drawing of a band-aid adored with googly-eyes and lips that were formed into a half-smirk. Not one hallmark would sell anytime soon but to me it was the most beautiful card I could have gotten.
Tears sprung freely as my fingers close around the edges of the card. The rough and crumpled edges of the paper all bearing the creases of tiny, clumsy hands.
"Thank you. This is definitely gonna help my dad get better." I husk before kneeling down to their level and opening my arms for a hug.
Sam doesn't hesitate, quickly wrapping her arms around my neck. The rest follow suit until I was surrounded and sandwiched in the middle of a group hug. I had never been one to believe about the healing touches and such but I swear, in that moment, it was like the stress and weight on my shoulders were lifted and replaced by this unconditional love.
The bell rings from above us but the kids don't budge for a few seconds, not even an inch. None of them rushed out of the classroom. After a few moments, I clear my throat shyly and release the kids from my grip, "I'm okay now. Time to go. Come on." I feel sam nodding against me before pulling away with the rest of her classmates, "see you tomorrow, Miss Guevarra!" She sings happily.
Once all the kids file out of the room, I roll the giant card for safekeeping and putting it away as I begin to erase the blackboard. After a few moment, I hear a faint knock on the door and turn quickly to look.
"Has anyone ever told you how hard it is not to fall in love with you? You're amazing with kids."
"Lauren! Hi!"I greet with genuine glee and surprise while ignoring her semi-love confession, abandoning my board so I could talk to the woman. I stop in front of her, suddenly unsure of how to greet the woman. I hold out my hold my hand out awkwardly but she ignores it to wrap her arms around my waist.
"I ran into Batchi, she told me what happened to your dad." She whispers quietly and I nod, realizing how warm and comfortable it was to be in her arms; to be the one being cared for, for once.
"Thank you."
She pulls back then shrugs, "eh, don't mention it. We have to run, Batchi and Abby are waiting outside. We're all gonna pick up their kid then head to the hospital to visit your dad."
My heart swells with warmth and I fight the urge to cry again by pressing my lips together in a tight line. "Okay. " I nod as I make my way to my desk, snatching my purse and the card from the table before following Lauren to the parking lot.
With Batchi driving my car, I sit behind the driver seat and stare out the window as she and Abby have a playful argument about who dresses Marinelle better. Was it Batchi's, comfortable cute style or her wife's pretty princess look? They tried to get Lauren and I involved but I quickly bowed out of it and subtly motioned for Lauren to do the same.
It was never a good idea to get yourself involved in a Luna family debate and the sooner Lauren knew that, the better.
This was one of the few times that I was thankful for heavy traffic, because this was the only time I could relax. I barely slept whenever I was in the hospital, I can't sleep in school and I barely stay home longer than the time it takes me to get a new batch of clothes ready; so while Batchi defends jumpers and rubber shoes, I slowly drift off into sleep.
"Hey..." A soft voice drifts into my half-unconscious mind.
I hum in question, the sound quiet and muted from sheer exhaustion.
"I'm sorry about leaving you at the restaurant the last time. I uh-- you were busy in the bathroom and I just flipped."
Slowly, I lift my head from the window and looked at her with what I believe was guilt etched in my face, I didn't hide emotion well so I was sure some emotion was obvious. "That was-- Complicated. Nothing happened, we just talked. "
Shit. My brain to mouth filter always did suck when I was tired.
"Was that her?"
"Was who, what?"
"Miss Complicated. Was that her?" she asks and I could detect a slight hint of envy and hurt in her voice, "the one you told me about."
A sigh passes my lips and I nod, "yeah. I'm sorry I dipped but I swear nothing happened. I put myself in the friendzone actually."
She doesn't answer fro a few moments and instead reached forward to touch my hand with her fingertips, drawing pattern on the back and over my knuckles, making me feel like electricity was sliding smoothly along my skin; the sensation lulling me back into the deep caresses of sleep. "Why'd you do that?" She asks quietly, tilting her head curiously to the side.
"I told you..." I pause to flip my hand, enjoying how her fingers felt against my skin. "... it's complicated."
"She has a boyfriend?"
Again, I answer with a noncommittal grunt as I lean my head against her shoulder. "Mmmhh..."
I feel her shoulders shake and I knew she was chuckling but I had no energy left to react. Something passes through my scalp and I know it was Lauren's fingers that had brushed my hair back, "Complicated?"
I hum, "Very." and then there was nothing but the sensation of Lauren's fingers against my palm.
There I was again, standing at the precipice of a cliff and I still couldn't see the ground at bottom. I wasn't afraid, in fact I wanted to jump. I wanted so badly to fall into this familiar darkness that no other thought crossed my mind. I wanted to. I feared what would happen but the desperate urge told me it would be alright.
I craved to jump. Hungered for it like a starving man looking at a feast; but I couldn't jump. It was as if there was some force the prevented me from jumping and kept me here, unable to look away from the cliff.
The dark void begins to morph and I watch it move until there were two. It moves again, forming a white ring around the darkness. My vision spins and the next thing I know I'm looking at a pair of eyes and I'm mesmerized.
Two chocolate brown eyes that bore into my very soul.
I knew these eyes. I would know them anywhere.
"Althea..." Jade's voice echoes loudly.
Jade!
"Althea..." It says again but this time the voice changes pitch and tone, like a speaker being adjusted to the right setting.
"Aunti Thea, wake up. We're here." Marinelle's says through the sleep that buzzed in my head. I looked around the car, confusion etched on my brows as I take in the hospital parking lot. I must have been really tired because I had slept through not only the traffic but the noise of the school as we picked Marinelle up as well as the ride back to the hospital.
I pick my head up from Lauren's shoulder and hummed an apology before sitting up. "Sorry, that must have been uncomfortable."
"S'okay. I didn't need to feel my arm anyway." She teased lightly, rolling her shoulder clockwise.
My brows crease with concern and guilt at the action and the thought that I had caused her any type of discomfort, "why didn't you wake me up?"
Lauren answers by shrugging before slipping out of the car through the other door.
The Luna family, Lauren and I made our way through the winding corridors of the hospital before finally reaching the area where the private and semi-private rooms were located. My father's room was at the end of the corridor, in the room with the most windows and he shared it with another cancer patient. Several people lined the corridor but one in particular caught my eye and as I approached, it slowly made sense why.
"Jade?"
She turns to me with a shy smile, "Surprise?"
This was probably the quickest visit the Luna family had done. After greeting each other and introducing Jade to Batchi, Marinelle, Abby and Lauren, they only stay for a little over ten minutes before cowardly excusing themselves from the room; leaving me alone with Jade and my sleeping father.
"So are you going to tell me how you found out?"
Jade sighs defeatedly then looks at me with a hurt expression before resting gently against the bed, "Pearl mentioned bumping into you."
"Oh. Right."
Shit, I forgot about Pearl.
"Why didn't you tell me? I thought we were close, at least on some level." The hurt in her voice pulled at my conscience and I scratched the back of my head out of habit.
"Jade, I..." I pause and cast my eyes lower, unsure what I could say at this point then deciding the truth was always better than making up some lie, especially to Jade. "You make me forget." I stop again; trying to form a better answer.
"I already had everyone telling me how sorry they were and it made me feel like some pathetic person that people pity. And then there was you, talking to me about Sam and flowers and the wedding and random insignificant things you do throughout the day. You were my escape. I didn't want that gone."
Swallowing down my nerves, I dared to look up at Jade and I see this soft but intense look in her eyes. Her eyebrows were pinches atop the bridge of her nose but it wasn't an angry or hurt or pitying expression, it was one of empathy.
A look of understanding.
"Althea, I wouldn't have treated you any differently. I would have visited a lot earlier though, and probably tried to get you a better room." She answers simply before reaching for my hand and holding it with both of hers. "I care about you and by extension, I care about your father and his well being."
I don't answer that, partly because the warmth in my chest had rendered ne speechless and for several moments, neither of us talk.
I stand dumbly and watch as she runs her thumbs over the skin on the back of my hand, like she was trying to memorize it. She turns my hand over and inspects the colored patch of skin on my wrist, she uses the tip of her index finger to trace the thin lines.
The scorching contact fries my brain and I found myself unable to think or breathe around her. All I could feel was this warmth in my chest whenever she was around, the warmth that seemed like it was protecting my heart, the warmth that I swear people could see like an aura or a glow around me.
"What does it mean?"
"Black." I answer and Jade hums. Usually people would ask why, or assume I was some sort of rebel when I was younger but Jade didn't, she took what I said and made no assumptions about me. "What does Black mean to you?"
To answer her question, I walked up to her then stopped well within her personal space before reaching to the side. She doesn't move away from me as I lift my father's hand up to show her the tattoo on his left wrist.
"This means White." I say quietly, "my father and I got them a few years after my mom died. To, sort of, remind us that whatever happens... wherever life takes us... we'll always have each other; that he and I are always connected."
"That's beautiful." She husks before letting go off my hand.
My eyes search her, trying to decode what she was feeling for me or figuring out what she wants but I couldn't. When it came to Jade, my brain just worked differently. I bit my tongue to stop it from asking stupid questions like why she was here and if she had really placed me in the friendzone but the longer I stay in her small bubble of space, the harder it was to not try and convince her to give me a chance.
To tell her that I could make her happy.
Jade and I don't notice as our bodies and faces inch closer and closer together until they were pressed flush against each other. There was just this heaviness in the air that I could almost taste; it made breathing harder especially with my close proximity to Jade.
After a moment, a male voice splits the tense air around us. "It was also really painful." We both jump back and turn to see Pa awake with his eyes shut, "Althea, I told you not to come here too much. I'm a very busy man. I have a meeting with Miss Perez over there." He jokes, pointing to the other patient he shared the room with.
I roll my eyes then smiled playfully at Jade, "Pa, my friend came by to visit you." His eyes open curiously then widens as he registers the woman at his feet. "This is Jade."
Jade smiles and holds out a hand to him, "It's a pleasure to meet you, sir."
"You can call me Pa and you have no idea how happy I am to finally meet you."
This causes a confused look to crease Jade's forehead and my stomach to twist painfully, "Pa... we-- we're... Jade and I are just friends." I say shakily, ignoring the unsettling feeling in my gut.
He chuckles then answers, "I didn't say anything bad, did I? Why are you being so defensive?"
Jade giggles from beside me and I give her a soft nudge with my shoulder, "I know but I also know you and you're going to get me into trouble. Can you just... I don't know-- go back to sleep? Pretend we're not here!"
Pa huffs then laughs, "Fine, fine." He says before taking my hand and kissing the back of it gently, "but you have to sing for me."
My eyes widen and my teeth clench tightly in panic, "Pa! No! I'll have a nurse inject you with sleeping stuff."
"That's going to cost you more money." He chines in teasingly and I sigh.
Smart, devious little devil.
"It's okay, Althea. Just pretend I'm not here." Jade adds with a sheepish smile.
"See? Can you say no to that?"
Instead of answering, I shake my head and take a slow breath to steady my rapidly beating heart. Once relatively calm, I held his hand gently in mine then closed my eyes. I mentally played and listened to the beat and the strums of the guitar, letting the words flow softly from my lips as I began to sing; to sing not for my father but for Jade.
So I held you but the call was from inside
And I knew I couldn't keep you if I tried
But I watched as the distance spread, as the shadows grew
And the longings came like wolves to devour you
So stay up with me, don't fall asleep
Because we only have this moment once in our lives
And next time we'll meet under city lights
We're here tonight, so let's make it all it was meant to be
As I sang, my fingers glided smoothly along the back of my father's hands to lull him to sleep. I also braved a glance towards Jade and I could see this intensity and surprise in her eyes. As I met her gaze, I knew right then and there, that I being just friends with Jade was out of the picture.
But still, I would rather we stayed friends than lose her completely.