It had been a week since Ian and I had that argument about Jeremy. I wasn't sure if that meant that we were broken up or not. Ian hadn't even texted me. I figured he was just giving me my space.
My mom had even noticed that I hadn't been over Ian's house lately. I heard her talking about it on the phone to Tillman. She thought Ian and I might be over, and I'm sure she was happy about it.
I think it might have just been a phase, Patricia. He hasn't gone over there in practically a week now. I told him that he wasn't good for him. That he would only end up getting hurt. Maybe Ian will back-off now, and find someone his own age.
I had to see Ian. There was no way he and I were over. I wouldn't give my mother that satisfaction. I waited until the sun went down to go over. He was always busy working, and I didn't want to disturb him. So that evening I walked over to Ian's place. I knew he was home. All the lights were on.
For some reason, I was nervous. I could feel my stomach twisting in knots as I walked to his front door. I knocked a few times, shoving my hands into my pockets as I waited. It took Ian a few minutes to come to the door.
"Ian," I began. "Can we talk?"
"Now is not a good time I'm busy," he replied a glass of wine in his hand. I chewed on my lower lip as I heard Alan's voice echo from the living room. So Alan could be here, but I couldn't. Why did he still come around?
"But Ian," I argued. "We're not broken up, are we? You know when I said I wanted space – "
"Ryder, I really can't talk about this right now," Ian interjected. "I have to go."
Before I could argue with him, he closed his door shut, locking it. I sighed. Was our relationship just not that important to him? He didn't even hear me out. But he could have fucking cocktails with Alan. Maybe they were sleeping together again.
My mother had been right about Ian. I didn't want her to be. I mean I thought Ian loved me. I thought nothing could stand in the way of that. But I guess age does really matter. I couldn't compete with Alan.
Just as I was near my house, my phone vibrated. Nikki told me to come over. I really didn't feel like coming over, but I guess it beat staying home and listening to my mom.
When I rang Tillman's doorbell, Nikki answered it with a devious grin on her face.
"Can I have the keys to your car?" I should have known from that question that it was going to be a wild night. But of course, I gave her the keys. Eventually I fell asleep on the road. When I woke up, we were in a completely different state. Nikki had failed to mention that the party we were going to was in the state over. It was apparently some big concert thing in the woods that tons of people go to. I don't even remember the name of it. But it was packed, and the music was loud. You could probably hear it from a mile away.
"You didn't tell me this party was in the state over," I huffed. Nikki shrugged.
"If I had told you, would you have come?" Nikki retorted. She had a point. I probably wouldn't have.
"I'm going to get a drink," Nikki grinned. "You stay here. I'll be right back."
Before I could get a word out, she disappeared into the crowd. I swore underneath my breath. I probably wouldn't see her for another hour or so. Nikki always did this. She would bring me, and then she'd ditch me for a half an hour or so. It was never on purpose. She just always got caught up in something or someone.
I walked through the sea of people, aimlessly. I danced a bit, talked to a few concertgoers. When I couldn't take the heat from the crowd any longer, I walked towards the edge, where the least amount of people were. I plopped down onto the grass, resting for a bit. It had only been an hour, but my legs were killing me.
Just as I glanced out into the crowd for Nikki, my eyes found someone else. I could feel my stomach twisting in knots. That blonde hair and those icy blue eyes -It was Jeremy. Sure he and I had spoken over Skype, but seeing him in person again was almost surreal. Talk about being at the same place at the same time, it was spooky how that happened. I should have known he would be at a place like this considering he was so into music.
My plan was to avoid him. That is until he saw me. He quickly pushed through the crowd over towards me, a smile on his face.
"What the actual fuck?" he laughed. "Are you stalking me, Ryder?"
I rolled my eyes. "You wish, Jer. I'm here with my friend, Nikki. Remember, I think I told you about her."
Jeremy nodded. "Yeah. Yeah. You mentioned her. I can't believe you're here though. This is hilarious."
I narrowed my eyes at him. "Have you been drinking?"
Jeremy winked at me. "Maybe. I've had a couple of shots. Damn. You can always tell. I always thought I was a good drunk. My parents could never tell, but you always could."
"Your eyes get darker when you drink that's why," I retorted. "Are you here with anyone?"
Jeremy shook his head. "No. I was supposed to meet a guy I met online here. But it appears I've been stood up. So now I'm alone."
"I'm sorry," I replied. "If it makes you feel better, Nikki kind of ditched me, so if you want to hang out with me that's fine."
Jeremy nodded. "Perfect. Spending the night with my ex. This was the last thing I thought I'd be doing. To be honest, I thought I'd be tongue deep in this hot Australian guy."
I rolled my eyes. "I can be hot and Australian."
Jeremy scoffed, unable to hold back his smile. God, I forgot how much I loved his smile. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him into the crowd. Jeremy could be a bit wild when he was drunk. The last thing that I wanted was him getting taken advantage of by some asshole. He was drunk, and horny - I'm sure he'd do anything with any guy given his current state. So I kept a close eye on him.
After not seeing for Nikki for an hour, I texted her. The concert seemed to be wrapping up, but she was nowhere to be seen. I found her on my way to the car. She was making out with some guy that she had probably just met at the concert. Her eyes found mine after a minute or two, a wide smile on her face. She whispered something in his ear, before coming towards me.
"Ready?" Nikki grinned her eyes flickering to Jeremy's. "Who's this?"
I sighed. "This is Jeremy, my ex. We ran into each other. Jer, do you want me to drop you off somewhere?
"The bus station," he groaned. "I was supposed to stay with the Australian guy, but as you see I was fucking catfished."
I laughed. "It's too late for you to take the bus. How about you come home with me? You can take the bus in the morning."
"Fine," Jeremy said sliding into the backseat. I couldn't let Jeremy take the bus alone considering his state, so I figured I'd do the next best thing. I'd bring him to my house. I mean my mother probably wasn't awake, and she probably wouldn't care. I'd just tell her that Jeremy was a friend from state. I doubt she'd suspect anything.
"So who was that guy you were making out with?" I asked Nikki as I drove home.
Nikki shrugged. "I don't know. Just some guy. But Jeremy – Tell me more about him. He's hot."
I chewed on my lower lip, glancing back at him in the rearview mirror. He was fast asleep.
"It's complicated," I shrugged. "He's my best friend. I care about him. He cares about me a lot too. We tried dating, and it was a mistake. You shouldn't date your best friend especially when you're in love with someone else."
Nikki nodded. "Ah I get it. You and Ian."
I scoffed. "Yeah. He and I just might be broken up. He wouldn't even talk to me today. I told him that I needed space last week, and I just wanted to clear things up with him. His ex was over there. I don't know what's going on with him or us for that matter."
Nikki laughed. "You worry too much, Ry. I don't know about him, but you have a pretty hot ex sitting in the back of your car right now. If Ian is being such a prick, maybe you should just let him go. Be a free bird like me for a while. Relationships suck."
I snorted, nodding my head. They sure do. When we got to Pear Street, Nikki helped me get Jeremy out of the car. He was half-asleep and not helping at all. I was hoping he might have sobered up a bit on the way over. It had been a long drive, and I made several stops for him.
"I have to use the bathroom," Jeremy groaned his eyes flickering open. "I can walk, Ry. I don't need your help."
I rolled my eyes.
"Well have a good night you two," Nikki waved as she crossed over into her yard. "It was nice meeting you, Jeremy."
"Yeah," Jeremy muttered following me inside. I closed the door behind me. I half-expected my mother to be waiting for me, but she wasn't. She probably was already asleep. It was almost two in the morning. I walked into the kitchen to see a note tacked to the fridge.
Staying over John's for the night. Pizza in the fridge. Mom.
So she wasn't home. I opened the fridge, pulling a box of pizza out and placing it on the counter.
"Is that pizza?" Jeremy's voice echoed from behind me. He rushed towards the box, opening it up, and taking a slice out.
"Thank your mom for me," Jeremy said shoving the last bit of it into his mouth. He must have been starving.
"Slow down," I sighed. "I don't want you to get sick."
He ignored him, grabbing two more slices this time. I rolled my eyes, as he grabbed the box and took it upstairs into my room. Of course, he would want more. Jeremy could eat an entire large pizza alone when he was sober. I grabbed a couple of water bottles, and walked up shortly after. When I opened my room door, Jeremy was lying across my bed, as if this was his room.
"Jeremy," I huffed. "Could you at least take your shoes off?"
"Yeah," he said kicking them off onto the ground.
"I'm going to shower," I muttered quickly. "I'll be quick."
He nodded chomping away on his pizza as I left the room. I walked in the bathroom, glancing out the window for a moment. I couldn't get Ian out of my mind. I bet Alan had convinced him to stay the night. They were probably screwing each other right now. I bet he let Alan top him. The more I thought about it, the angrier it made me.
How could he just blow me off like that? For Alan, of all people.
I slid the shower door open, turning the water up all the way. I ran my fingers through my hair, trying not to think about him. But I could feel Ian slowly creeping up on me. I hated that he made me feel like this. It was like I couldn't function without him.
Before I knew it, tears were dripping down my face. Once they started, they wouldn't stop. That argument between us had been so stupid. Why did I walk away from him? Why had I told that I needed space?
I wiped the tears from my eyes as I heard footsteps echo from the door.
"Jeremy," I called out sliding the shower curtain back. I wiped the water off of my face to see him on the toilet.
"Seriously Jeremy," I huffed. "You couldn't wait until I was finished."
Jeremy smirked, flushing the toilet. "And piss on myself. No thanks. I have a small bladder. You know this."
He walked over towards the sink, washing his hands. "You can continue your shower, Ry. I mean unless you want company."
I rolled my eyes, sliding the curtain back. "No thanks, Jer."
A few seconds later, he slid the shower curtain back, whistling at me. " Nice ass."
"Jer I'm going to murder you," I huffed. "Get out. I just want to be alone."
Jeremy nodded, sliding the shower back. I turned the shower off, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around my waist. Jeremy showered right after me. By the time he came out, I was lying in my bed trying to fall asleep.
"I heard you crying in the shower," Jeremy said, sliding into the other side of my bed. "Are you okay?"
"I don't want to talk about it," I muttered clutching my pillow. How embarrassing. I didn't even know he heard me. I thought I was being pretty quiet.
Jeremy wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder. "I care about you, Ryder, even after everything that happened between us. You can talk to me. We are still best friends."
"I'm fine, Jer," I sighed. "It's stupid, and I'm tired."
"If you're crying over Ian, I swear I'll slap you," he chuckled. "One hard smack right in the face."
I laughed, turning over and facing him for a second. "I guess you should slap me then."
His blue eyes met mine, as he lifted his hand up, resting it on my face. "Are you ready?"
I quickly flinched, causing Jeremy to laugh. "Stop. The anticipation is killing me. Just do it."
"Fine," Jeremy huffed, smacking right on the cheek. I swore underneath my breath.
"That hurt you know," I sighed, clutching my face. "My face is burning."
Jeremy winked. "That's for cheating on me."
"You fucker," I snorted. I could kill him. Jeremy grinned, his blonde hair falling in his face. I pushed it off of his face, running my fingers through it for a second. It smelled like shampoo.
"Your hair is growing back," I commented as Jeremy tied it up into a bun.
"Yeah I know," Jeremy sighed. "It happens so fast."
I leaned in towards Jeremy, pressing my lips against his. I had caught him completely off-guard. I traced my hand against his cheek, as he climbed on top of me, pressing his body against mine. My hands slid down his back and onto his ass as he rocked his body against mine, pushing his tongue in between my lips. His tongue glided against mine, sending a wave of chills up my spine.
"I missed this," I muttered as Jeremy brought his lips to my neck.
"Me too," Jeremy replied pulling away from me to catch his breath. "But we can't do this, Ryder. I'm not going to be hurt by you again. I won't."
I sat up as Jeremy climbed off of me, sliding back to his side of the bed.
"Jeremy, Ian and I aren't together," I retorted sliding my hand up his thigh. "He doesn't want to be with me. He'd rather be with his ex."
Jeremy shook his head. "You're not over. If you were over, you wouldn't care what about what he was doing, Ryder. I'm tired of being used by you. I'm not going to be your rebound anymore."
I nodded. "I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking, Jer. I shouldn't have kissed you. I gave you complete permission to slap me again."
Jeremy snorted, rolling over onto his side. "I just might take you up on that."
He was right. All I ever did was hurt Jeremy. Every time Ian and I were rocky, I went crawling back to him. I had to stop being so selfish. I'm surprised Jeremy and I were even still friends anymore. If I was him, I would have ditched me.
The following morning, I woke up to the sound of my doorbell. Jeremy wasn't there. I guess he must have taken the first bus home. I vaguely remember him waking me up, and telling me that he would talk to me later. He probably wanted to leave before my mother got there. I rubbed my eyes, shuffling downstairs. I glanced out the window to see Ian.
I sighed, opening the door. His eyes flickered across mine for a second.
"Don't tell me you just woke up?" he said. "It's practically noon."
I gripped the door in my hand. "What are you doing here?"
Ian smiled. "I came here to apologize about yesterday, and to explain what was going on. Can I come in?"
I shrugged. "I don't think that's a good idea, Ian. I'm not sure if my mom is here or not."
"Get dressed," Ian replied. "I'll wait out here, then."
I groaned, closing the door behind me. I don't care what he said. There was no excuse for kicking me out, and letting Alan be there. I was still pissed about. I wonder how he'd feel if I told him, Jeremy spent the night. Oh wait - Our relationship meant nothing - so he probably wouldn't care.
I glanced outside my bedroom window. He was still there.
He better have a good reason.