chapter four
I BEGAN TO THINK A LOT about the party and May Parker. I laughed about Fernando and his weed while I doodled in class. I've looked at Julia a lot less and I smiled a lot more around Mason.
Mason: so what do u say? Tonight? Pick u up at 8?
I smiled and rested my head on to the palm of my hand as I stared down at my phone. I began to type a response as soon as the boy next to me, David, looked down at my phone as well.
"You're dating Mason, right?" He whispered below the volume of the video that was playing in class.
I slowly nodded my head and locked my phone. I slid it into the pocket of my cardigan without finishing my text.
"Huh, that's funny." He chuckled to himself and shook his head.
I furrowed my eyebrows together and tilted my head.
"How's it funny?" I croaked. I hate talking to people when I'm not forced to do a group project with them or something. I can't do it on my own.
"I don't know." He shrugged. "I guess I thought you were into that lesbian shit, you know?"
I clenched my teeth as I felt my face flush red.
"Nah, but it's okay. I guess I thought wrong." He attempted a smile before going back on his phone to play some sort of game.
I looked down at the floor and tried to prevent the tears from spilling out of my eyes.
All these months I've tried to move on from the past but no one else will let it go. No one understands how many things I have lost because of one simple night. A night that was supposed to be fun and relaxing.
When class ended, I rushed to Mason's locker and met him there. I was relived when he hugged me and kissed the top of my head. Then I was shocked when I pulled away from him and saw Julia look at me from her locker.
Julia was looking at me.
For the first time in months, I had caught her eye.
My heart sped up and my throat dried out.
She quickly looked away and began to talk to some friends as she leaned against the locker.
"What's bothering you?" Mason questioned. He turned around to look at what I was looking at.
"Nothing, I-"
"Are you upset about Julia again?" He asked as he turned back around to face me.
I gulped.
"Ashley, babe, I know you guys used to be best friends, but I think you need to move on now." He suggested. "You can make new best friends! Easy."
I sighed.
"I know, I'm sorry." I apologized as my heart dropped a thousand feet below me. "You're right."
"What would you do without me, huh?" He wrapped his arm around me and started walking me down the hallway.
I just laughed and shrugged my shoulders in response. For some reason I didn't have the energy to talk anymore. I couldn't form any words as I felt my heart break into millions of pieces.
I guess no one really understands.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Later that day, around eight fifteen, Mason picked me up and brought me to the Old Spaghetti Factory. We talked and laughed and he made me forget all about the conversation we had in school earlier.
"You know my dad isn't coming home next week anymore." He twirled the spaghetti around his fork.
"Why not?" I asked as I took a bite of some garlic bread.
His dad has been in the Army since Mason was eleven years old. He's dropped by for occasional visits, but Mason hasn't seen him for three years now. His dad keeps telling him that he'll come home soon, but then the plans get changed and it turns into another year at service.
"Something came up." Mason shrugged. "He wouldn't tell me why."
Mason's shoulders slumped and his head bowed lower. He looked broken all of a sudden and I didn't know what to do.
"I'm really sorry to hear that, Mason." I said. I didn't know what else to tell him because I've never been in his shoes. "I can't imagine what that must feel like." I pouted.
He shrugged as he twirled more spaghetti around his fork and put it in his mouth. I assumed he didn't want to talk about it anymore, so I dropped it.
A few silent minutes later, an employee led people behind her to a table. It didn't take me long to figure out who they were as I choked on my food and attempted to swallow it down.
I didn't think my day could get any worse.
Julia and her boyfriend, Chad, were here at the same Spaghetti Factory Mason and I were having our date night at.
"Ay, Mason, is it?" Chad stopped at our table. Julia and Chad's arms were linked tightly. He looked at the employee and told her to give him a few minutes, so she nodded and walked away.
I gulped and hid my face.
Mason, please tell them to go away, please tell them to go away, please-
"Hey, yeah." Mason said.
I wanted to strangle him. I wanted to yell at him and let him know how stupid he was being. He knows I try to distance myself from Julia. He knows I don't want to confront her ever.
"How's the soccer season starting off this year?" Chad asked.
I looked up from the table and tried to glare at Mason, but he wasn't looking at me. He never would've noticed how much pain I am in right now.
"Really good, actually." Mason replied. "This is our coach's last year before retiring, so we're all ready to make it a good season."
"That's great." Chad said.
I didn't bother looking at Chad or Julia. I didn't care if I was coming off rude or disrespectful; I just genuinely did not want to be this close to Julia.
"Hey," Chad turned to me.
I gulped and slowly looked up from the table to face him. My throat was dry and I had to give everything that was in me to not cry in front of them.
"You're the girl at that party a while ago, yeah?"
I gulped. I could feel myself shaking. I could feel Julia's eyes on me and I had never felt so uncomfortable since that party.
Mason didn't even know about the party, and here he was, about to hear about it for the first time.
"Uh-"
My voice cracked and my body felt hot. I didn't want to talk, I couldn't talk - six pairs of eyes were on me.
"Holy shit, you were the girl!"
"What's he talking about, Ash?" Mason questioned with furrowed eyebrows across the table.
"I- uh-"
I wanted to run away and jump off a bridge. I wanted to bury myself six feet underground and I wanted to flush myself down the toilet.
"Jules, you remember her, yeah?" Chad asked Julia.
I hid my face with my hands as I felt the tears come. I'm a pathetic loser and I know it. I can't even hold a few tears back like a strong person should.
"Chad, stop." Julia spoke.
It was the first time I'd heard her speak in forever. Was she standing up for me? Did she still have some heart left in her?
"Let's just go sit down." She said. A few seconds later, with my head still in my hands, she added; "you guys make a great couple."
The tears spilled out of my eyes and into my hands as I felt the two of them leave and go to their own table.
"Ashley, baby, what's going on?" Mason asked with full sincerity. I felt him move next to me as he wrapped his arms around me and kissed my head.
I couldn't stop the tears from falling.
"Whatever happened at that party he was talking about, I don't care, okay?" Mason whispered. "I'm sorry, baby, I'm so, so sorry."
He stroked my hair for a few minutes before I could finally stop the tears and take a deep breath.
Mason was so good to me all the time and I didn't deserve that at all. I don't deserve anything he gives me because I can never give enough in return.
"Mason," I croaked.
He sat up and stared at me; waiting for what I was about to say.
"I'm the one that's sorry." I said, "I don't deserve any of this, I'm sorry."
I began to get up but he was blocking me in the booth.
"Where are you going?" He asked, worry filled throughout his voice and face.
"I can't stay here, I'm sorry."
He still didn't move.
"Mason, please, I have to leave-"
"Okay, okay," he shuffled through his pocket, "I'll drive you home." He stood up and got out of the booth. I made my way out and shook my head at him.
"No, please, I want to be alone right now." I said. He was so confused and lost and I didn't blame him. "Please."
He only hugged me and let out a long sigh.
"I love you so much, Ashely." He whispered in my ear and kissed my temple. I closed my eyes and breathed softly.
"I love you too."
He let go of me and I didn't even look at him again before walking towards the exit, and he didn't try to stop me. And for that, I was extremely thankful.
With a sad heart, I stepped forward as I crossed the street to enter inside a park.
The wind was blowing and the sky was pitch black; not a star in sight. There were a few cars on the road, but not too many.
I slipped my shoes off and held them in my hands as I closed my eyes and felt the cold wind race across my wet cheeks. Even with all the trees in the park, I was still able to feel the breeze. It relaxed me.
I found a bench far in to the park and sat down alone as I set my shoes beside me. I leaned my head back and took a deep breath as I allowed myself to think about that party. I let my mind wander and I remembered what I tried to forget.
It was like a horror movie I had watched too many times replayed in my mind yet again.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Holy guacamole.
I feel so much for Ashley and I just hope she gets better because JESUS it's so hard to see her like this... Oh my gosh.
Do you guys have any predictions as to what is going to happen in the next chapter? Let me know in the comments!
(Dedication to: @Bulle02 because they were the first one to guess my birthday month! (November))
***Also: I will be updating this book every Sunday from now on! It's going to be a regular thing starting TODAY (8/16/15).***
I ENTERED THIS BOOK IN THE WATTYS, Y'ALL. I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT I FIGURED I SHOULD TRY IT OUT. KEEP VOTING!!
See you guys next week