Chapter forty-four
Ryder took a large gulp of water trying to calm himself down. He was still gasping for air as if all the oxygen was knocked out of his system. He was furious at himself for saying something so stupid to Andrea. He knew he had hurt her and he felt so guilty he wanted to punch himself over and over again. Once he knew he was thinking straight, he went outside to try to find Andrea. Knowing her, he knew that she wouldn't actually run home when they were practically in the middle of nowhere.
He started walking around the place. Then, he finally saw a figure sitting by the shore. She was sitting with her chin rested on her knees and her arms were around her. He slowly approached her but didn't say a thing. He sat down next to her as the chilly air washed through them. He didn't say anything for a while and neither did she. She didn't even spare him a glance. She was too focused staring at the waves of the water.
"I'm sorry." He finally whispered as the guilt came back eating him slowly. "Andrea, I didn't mean to say any of what I've said. I wasn't thinking straight and I'm so sorry. If I could go back and take back everything I've said, I would. Please accept my apology." He begged but she didn't even move from her position or even make a single sound.
"Hit me!" He suggested. "Slap me! Be furious! Be mad! Anything, Andrea! I will take anything just please, don't shut me out!" He pleaded and it seemed to work because she turned her head towards him. He stared at her eyes and felt like someone had punched him in his stomach. She obviously had been crying and her eyes were swollen and red.
She looked away from him and stood up from her spot and started walking away. She wrapped her arms around herself trying to protect herself from the cold air. Ryder was dumbfounded for a couple of seconds before running off and chased Andrea. "Andrea, please." He said wrapping his arms around her from behind. He hugged her tightly and she didn't respond. She didn't move, she didn't struggle against his hold and it was driving him insane.
He spun her around to face him and placed both of his hands on each side of her face. "I'm sorry." He once again apologized staring into her grey orbs. Andrea felt a tight squished on her heart. She knew that he was sincere with his words. He was sorry but Andrea composed herself and didn't give him the satisfaction of seeing her give in. "Please forgive me." He begged sorrowfully.
She placed both of her hands on top of his and pulled them away from her face. "I promise, I'll stay away from you." She whispered walking away again. Ryder was quick on his feet and hugged her tightly from behind.
"No, please don't do this!" He desperately uttered. "You can't stay from me, Andrea. I won't allow you because I don't know what I'll do! Please, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He continually apologized and Andrea heard him sniff. She then felt a drop of water on her arm and she realized that he was crying. Ryder Collins was crying, she couldn't believe it. She suddenly felt guilty and turned around to face him. Indeed, he was sobbing as tears continually flowed from his eyes.
Andrea reached up and wiped his tears away. "Shhh..." She said pulling him into a hug as she uttered soothing words into his ears. "I don't know what I'll do with out you, Andrea. Please don't leave. I'm so sorry. It won't happen again, please just forgive me. Give me another chance. I love you, Andrea. I love you so much and I can't afford to lose you. Not you too, Andrea. I won't allow it." He rumbled pulling her tighter in his arms and repeatedly kissed her hair.
"Shhh... Stop crying, Ry." She said pulling away from the hug.
"Look, Andrea." He started explaining. "I know I've said some things that I shouldn't have. But racing became my everything. It's my escape and I need you to understand that. I just can't cut it out of my life. That's like me telling you to stop reading, it's tough."
"Is it that important to you that you compared it with my books?" She questioned earning a chuckle from Ryder. She smiled seeing him happy and it brought butterflies in her stomach.
"I'll explain everything to you and make you understand. But can we do it inside? It's kinda cold out here." He suggested and Andrea nodded in agreement. He quickly wrapped his arm around her shoulder and guided her towards the cabin.
"One chance, Mr. Collins. I'm giving you one chance." She said as Ryder kissed the top of her head and led her inside.
~ * ~ * ~
"Is that the reason why you act all cold and distant all the time?" Andrea asked as she caressed his hands with hers. They were in the bedroom laying down as Ryder revealed his deep secrets to her.
"I guess." He answered with his head bowed down staring at their intertwined fingers. "After my little sister died and Rina getting thrown to Australia, I couldn't recover. When I lost my little sister, I told myself that I would do anything with my whole being to protect Rina. That I wouldn't let anyone hurt her or even touch her, but I failed her. I didn't fulfill my promise to her. Gosh, I'm such a horrible brother." He said as a tear escaped his eye. Andrea's heart was completely softened seeing him breakdown in front of her. A guy labelled as the 'bad boy' wasn't as bad as she expected. Seeing him cry made her realized that he was a person too, he wasn't as cold and distant as he seemed to be.
"You're not a horrible brother, Ryder. You did everything you could, but the situation couldn't have been controlled. You didn't even know that she was going to get rape." Andrea tried making the situation sound less worse than it was actually was but it sounded worst than she was expected. "Look Ryder, we all make stupid mistakes in our lives and we learn from them. Always remember that you have to let them fall once in their life so that they can stand back up on their feet, strong and independent. Sometimes, you just have to let go." She explained.
"I just wish I could have done something to prevent it from happening. You have no idea how painful it was to watch her in such a state. She wasn't talking or moving at all. My father called every psychologists there were in the city but they didn't help one bit. She was in Grade 8, Andrea, f*ck, I would have turned crazy if it was me." He cursed making a fist but Andrea rubbed it soothingly as he released his grip.
"How did she recover?" She asked with furrowed eyebrows as she felt her blood boil from hearing such a horrible story about Rina. Just looking at her now, she looked incredibly strong like nothing as bad as what happened to her occurred.
"Steven." Ryder whispered as his eyes became distant as if he was remembering the day it happened. "I have no idea how, but he made her listen to him. He was bringing her some food and told her to eat. I don't what happened but she picked up the fork and started eating. I couldn't comprehend how he did it, it was a big miracle. Starting from that day, Steven took care and looked after her. I will always be thankful of Steven for taking care of her and helping her to speak once again. It took a while but she finally did, only to Steven though. But hearing her voice was enough for me."
"So why did your father sent her to Australia?" Andrea questioned snapping Ryder back to reality.
"High school started and we became busy. Steven couldn't fully look after her so my father decided to sent her to Australia when he found out that there was an excellent psychologist there that could help her fully recover. I protested at first because Steven seemed to be doing a great job at taking care of her but my father argued that a professional will help her recover faster. He said that since my aunt, his sister, was there in Australia anyway, someone will look after her. I knew my aunt, she's a very compassionate person and I knew she could help so I didn't argue anymore." He explained.
"Did it help? The psychologist, I mean?"
"Rina didn't want to leave. She put up quite a fight and she clung to Steven like he was her lifeline. At her first few weeks in Australia, my aunt said that she returned to her old self after she got raped. She didn't talk, eat, move. But after a few more months, the sessions seemed to be working well. So I guess the psychologist did help."
"How did she finish high school before us then?" Andrea asked in curiosity as a smile formed on Ryder's lips which made her smile as well.
"She's really smart. She's more geek than you actually." He stated as Andrea gasped placing a hand over her chest in a joking matter.
"No?!" She humorously gasped earning a chuckle from Ryder.
"She fast tracked every course and did summer school. She loves school so much." He stated.
"Yeah I'm not really a fan of school. I like learning by myself. Just having some time alone reading and teaching myself. That's the kind of nerd I am." She said as Ryder pulled her head towards his lips and kissed her forehead.
"Yeah, well, that's the kind of nerd I love." He confessed as he brought his lips to hers and kissed her softly and passionately. "Thanks for listening and not judging me." He gratefully said as they rested their foreheads together.
"Thanks for trusting me. I promise to keep it our little secret forever." She promised placing her arms around his neck and pulling him into another kiss.
"I love you, my nerdy Andrea."
"I love you too, my bad boy Ryder."
They said to each other as Ryder kissed her gently on the lips and they fell asleep in each other's arms.
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A/N: The past is finally revealed! What do you think?
Do you like Steven more? He's such a sweetheart...
Hope you like this chapter, more chaos are coming up so stay tuned....