I stare at the piece of paper, which brings back the memories of Natasha; I can clearly remember when she used to read me this fairy tale when I was really young and I couldn't sleep.
Once upon a time as a merchant set off for market, he asked each of his three daughters what she would like as a present on his return. The first daughter wanted a brocade dress, the second a pearl necklace, but the third, whose name was Beauty, the youngest, prettiest and sweetest of them all, said to her father:
"All I'd like is a rose you've picked specially for me!"
When the merchant had finished his business, he set off for home. However, a sudden storm blew up, and his horse could hardly make headway in the howling gale. Cold and weary, the merchant had lost all hope of reaching an inn when he suddenly noticed a bright light shining in the middle of a wood. As he drew near, he saw that it was a castle, bathed in light.
"I hope I'll find shelter there for the night," he said to himself. When he reached the door, he saw it was open, but though he shouted, nobody came to greet him. Plucking up courage, he went inside, still calling out to attract attention. On a table in the main hall, a splendid dinner lay already served. The merchant lingered, still shouting for the owner of the castle. But no one came, and so the starving merchant sat down to a hearty meal.
Overcome by curiosity, he ventured upstairs, where the corridor led into magnificent rooms and halls. A fire crackled in the first room and a soft bed looked very inviting. It was now late, and the merchant could not resist. He lay down on the bed and fell fast asleep. When he woke next morning, an unknown hand had placed a mug of steaming coffee and some fruit by his bedside.
The merchant had breakfast and after tidying himself up, went downstairs to thank his generous host. But, as on the evening before, there was nobody in sight. Shaking his head in wonder at the strangeness of it all, he went towards the garden where he had left his horse, tethered to a tree. Suddenly, a large rose bush caught his eye.
Remembering his promise to Beauty, he bent down to pick a rose. Instantly, out of the rose garden, sprang a horrible beast, wearing splendid clothes. Two bloodshot eyes, gleaming angrily, glared at him and a deep, terrifying voice growled: "Ungrateful man! I gave you shelter, you ate at my table and slept in my own bed, but now all the thanks I get is the theft of my favourite flowers! I shall put you to death for this slight!" Trembling with fear, the merchant fell on his knees before the Beast...
***
When I open my eyes to the bright early morning light, I realise that I slept in my clothes and the mysterious paper with the text from The Beauty and the Beast is unfolded on my bedside table. It no longer seems a coincidence that I found another fairy tale after coming back from Three Cliffs. I am certain that this piece of paper wasn't in my coat pocket before I went out with Felix, but I can't be sure because I don't tend to check if anything is in my pockets before I leave. I need to tell Aideen about this, especially after finding two stories, one after the other. I am confused about who to trust. I can't figure it out. Adam is very immature despite being over hundred years old. Aideen and Felix are hoping that I can solve this mystery of the Iron curse, so perhaps I should trust them.
I sigh and want to stay curled up in bed and sleep for a bit longer, but I know I have to get ready for my first class. I must keep it a secret about exactly who I met last night. As far as I can tell, Adam doesn't know about Aideen or Felix, so the situation must not get any more complicated.
When I get downstairs everyone is already up. Claire is rushing to go out and Emma is making a coffee in the kitchen. They both can't stop talking about the upcoming party. Claire sent invitations through social networking sites and I don't want to think how busy it will really get. When I leave the house, Veronica is waiting for me outside. She smiles, looking happier than usual. I am glad that I don't have to see Adam today as he probably would spoil my mood. Veronica is wearing a long, navy vintage dress. She has pinned her brown hair together. I smile and whisper to her to visit me later in the evening. Emma and Claire have already left the house and I spot a few other Sprites near the house, and as I expected they are all looking directly at me, especially after I exchanged a few words with Veronica. My street is quite busy. Thick grey clouds are cluttering the sky. I want to tell Veronica about the other fairy tale that I found in my pocket, but I don't want to bring unnecessary attention to myself on the street, so I decide to discuss this with her later on in the evening.
Singleton Park is busy today; the main path is filled with hundreds of students and the Sprites that are following each and every one of them. I look carefully around, checking if Richard is anywhere to be seen, but I become distracted by the many fairies that are stopping to look at me. I dismiss the attention and close my eyes to the odd stares and whispers. It's hard not to look at them, especially when I know that they are talking about me.
The Race and Ethnicity module takes place in the Keir Hardie building on the third floor. I recognise some faces from the first year and a few American students who are on the exchange programme. The teacher seems passionate about the subject and all the material looks very appealing, but concentration is not on my side today. My mind wanders off to Three Cliffs Bay. I don't know when I should expect to hear from Aideen; he mentioned that he will visit me soon, but he didn't say exactly where we are going to meet. He will probably appear in my bedroom at the most awkward moment, although he appears to have more common sense than Adam.
After the Race and Ethnicity lecture I have another class and then I get home in the early afternoon. I don't feel as though I am coping well with all the whispers around me. No one has guts to say anything straight to my face. I am the human who disturbed the lives of many Sprites; no one understands why Gabriel was willing to give up his life for a human like me.
This afternoon I realise that the year ahead of me will be tough; the reading list for two modules is long and painful. The questions for the upcoming assignments will be available online shortly and I have to stay focused.
My phone remains quiet; Natasha hasn't phoned and I can't bring myself to speak to her just yet. Since I have come back to Swansea, I haven't had a chance to even think about my biological parents. Now I get out the piece of paper that Natasha gave me just before I left. I take in the information again. My biological parents live in North Wales and I know that one day I will have to make a trip there to finally find out why they gave up on me.
***
It's the beginning of October. The British summer weather continues to surprise me; amazingly enough, everybody is still out enjoying the glorious sunshine and warm temperatures. Our house party was a huge success. Almost a hundred people turned up to welcome the new academic year and getting drunk was the main priority. As usual, I believed that alcohol would take away the pain of not having Gabriel close to me, but this morning I woke up hung-over and even more miserable than before.
Veronica visits me on Saturday evening looking upset. I'm lying in bed drinking cordial.
'You won't believe what I've had to go through this evening,' she says, walking around my room and wringing her hands.
I sit up in bed, wincing, as my head is still pounding.
'What's happened?
'My mother organised this dinner and she invited Rafael. You know, the Sprite that I'm suppose to marry. He was discussing with my mother when he would like to have kids and the best part was that I was sitting next to him and he didn't even bother to ask for my opinion,' she says angrily, in disbelief.
'So what did you do?'
'Nothing!' she shouts. 'And that's exactly the problem – I didn't do anything. I am such an idiot, Ania.'
'You have to tell your mother that you don't want to marry him. It's simple, Veronica. You don't love him.'
'It's not that easy.'
'I understand that I know nothing about your traditions, but if you are just going to accept it then nothing will ever change. You are brave and intelligent and you can make your own choices,' I encourage her.
Veronica reluctantly agrees to speak to her mother. She mentions that if she refused to marry Rafael then it would bring shame on her family and the council would banish her. All the Sprites have been following the same arrangements for thousands of years, so I can't expect that anything will change overnight. Veronica looks up to Gabriel as her role model, hoping that she will be the next Sprite to turn her back on the council and just follow her heart.
***
Lectures aren't easy on anyone this year. I can hardly keep up with the coursework, presentations, assignments and classes. I can't even compare it to the amount of work that I had the previous year, as first year seems so minor now. I'm tempted to miss lectures in order to catch up, but our attendance is being monitored; we all have been warned that if we are skipping too many classes then we could be suspended. With so much coursework, it's not surprising that I don't have the time to concentrate on my new task of finding the cure for the Iron curse.
I'm still being seen as the human who saw and seduced her guardian. Rose doesn't make my life any easier by spreading unpleasant rumours. Although I've got a lot of work, I have still managed to get involved with the student paper. I have attended two meetings and the editor, who is almost half my height, asked me to write my first article about the Royal Mail strike. The subject isn't that exciting, but at least I am getting the experience that I need. I remember that Veronica was moved by Gabriel's bravery, but sadly, she doesn't believe that we are ever going to be together again. She tells me to start dating a normal human and forget about Gabriel; his destiny for Rose cannot be changed. Veronica doesn't understand that she can be insensitive at times, but this is a harsh reality and I know that I sooner or later I have to let him go.
After an hour of contemplating what to do about Gabriel, I decide to go back to my presentation. I work through the notes from the recent lecture and two books that I borrowed from the library. A few hours later I decide to take a break. I walk downstairs to boil the kettle, trying to erase any previous conversation with Veronica. I take two biscuits and rush upstairs, wondering if I could carry on my preparation to talk about the Harlem Renaissance in front a large group tomorrow morning.
I lock the door and continue to whisper the text of the presentation to myself. I break off in mid-sentence to take a sip of tea. I place the mug down on the desk and then flinch in surprise; Aideen is by the window. I curse silently, thinking that I should have known that he would visit me soon. I had a few weeks of peace, feeling like a normal human being and now Aideen is here, in my room looking more handsome than I remembered. His light blond hair still suits him, being cut close to his skin. His mesmerising honey eyes make me forget about the Harlem Renaissance in an instant. He seems relaxed and calm while gazing at me.
'Hi,' I greet him, breaking the awkward silence.
'I hope that you don't mind me coming over tonight. I was in the area and I thought that I would stop by to arrange a meeting,' he states, moving his gaze from my eyes to the space around me. I might be just imagining this, but within seconds he looks at my eyes again. He strokes his blond hair.
'No... I don't mind at all,' I respond and my voice trembles.
What the hell is wrong with me?
'Ania, I am sorry that I came in without informing you, but the council is watching you more closely and I couldn't risk sending a message,' he explains, speaking slowly, choosing his every word.
I like the way his tongue caresses my name.
'Don't worry about it. I am used to Sprites appearing in my bedroom whenever the hell they want. Anyway, I've been thinking about Felix and the way he explained how important I am. We don't have to wait for the meeting. If you think it's safe, we can talk now.'
He moves from my desk, running his hands over my books as he approaches me. He lifts his eyes to look at me again. He reminds me of Gabriel in the way that he carries himself, always being cool and collected.
'This moment is just right, but I can only stay for a few minutes, as I have to take care of matters that are urgent,' he says in more serious tone, all the while gazing at me and a cold shiver shoots through my spine.
I exhale sharply. 'Okay, but before you go I need to show you something.'
I get to my desk and from my stationary box I take out two pieces of folded thick paper with my favourite fairy tales. I pass it to Aideen, who looks slightly confused.
'The Grimm's fairy tales. I never met them, but I heard about them from my parents,' he says, scanning the texts.
'Hmm,' I murmur, wondering if I should ask him about The Brothers Grimm, but I dismiss his comment quickly. It's not important right now. 'I found the first text in my pocket after I went to visit Gabriel with Adam. Then I found the second one last night after we met with Felix. I am sure that someone wanted me to find these,' I explain.
Aideen looks at the paper carefully.
'You found these stories after you visited Gabriel?' he asks.
'Yes. I know I didn't have it beforehand, and I don't understand why the fairy tales are so important. I think someone must have followed me when I left with Adam.'
'Someone?'
'I believe so. How or why would I have them otherwise?'
'Maybe whoever is leaving these with you is trying to tell you something. Your extraordinary gift may be seen as a threat to others. Sprites enjoy their routine; they don't want any human interference,' explains Aideen, moving closer to me. 'You might be right that someone is deliberately leaving these notes when you don't even realise.'
'But that is impossible; no one stopped me while I was with Felix or the first time when I was around Three Cliffs with Adam. I would remember it,' I insist, trying to search in my memory if there was even any possibility of anyone slipping this paper into my pocket.
'Just be careful. I am certain that these fairy tales have their own meaning, but I can't search for answers today. In the next few days I will leave you a letter with the instruction of our next meeting. For now I wish you a good and peaceful night,' adds Aideen, hesitant for a moment.
For a brief second I wonder if he wants to touch me, but he disappears, leaving me on my own. The room suddenly feels too small and I want to get rid of these new and unexpected emotions that are suddenly exploding deep inside of me, throwing me off guard. I feel as though I am betraying Gabriel by feeling this way about another Sprite. I drink my cold tea and eat chocolate cookies and then I try to get busy and think about something else rather than the man who just visited me. I fail and end up staring out the window, thinking about honey-coloured eyes.
***
I don't get up until noon on Monday. When I get downstairs, Emma is rehearsing for some kind of play that will be shown in December. Claire and Mathew are out. Today I have got a lecture on the 'Invention of the Cinema' and the module about environmental movements in America during 1920s and 30s, which sounds quite interesting. I switch on the TV for the news while I eat a bowl of cereal. I'm still unable to forget about the handsome Aideen who came to my room last night. Images of an unconscious Gabriel flicker through my mind at the same time. I try to fight these away.
'What time is your lecture?' asks Emma, putting her script away in her bag.
'At two.'
'The weather is supposed to be great this coming weekend and a few people from my course are organising a barbecue by the beach,' adds Emma, playing with her dark hair.
'A barbecue at the end of October?' I ask with disbelief.
'I know, tell me about it. Apparently, it will be fifteen degrees on Saturday and then next week it's supposed to snow!'
'Nothing should surprise me any more in this country, especially the weather,' I reply, while staring at my timetable.
I leave the house just after one o'clock, hoping that I won't be late for my class. The sky is beaming sunshine; I am so amazed with this weather at the end of October. I'm wary of seeing Adam as I step outside, but he hasn't been around since the incident in the library. I don't miss him.
The 'Invention of the Cinema' lecture is in the Faraday Building; we are going to look at all the old silent films from the nineteen twenties. All the Sprites that I pass every morning on the way to university are still staring at me and keeping up the whispers. It's been almost two months since I came back to Swansea and yet I still have to come to terms with the fact that I am famous amongst extraordinary creatures.
During the break between lectures I start talking to a Russian girl who has been sitting next to me in Topics in American Studies II. We decide to have lunch and I am glad that I can use Russian again. Natasha stopped using Russian since we had a clash about her lies.
In the late afternoon I ignore all the Sprites who are glancing at me when I rush to the main building to see my editor. The corridor can be very misleading and it takes me almost half an hour to find the right place. The office off the sea front is on the top floor and when I walk in there are a few people on the sofas and two people busy staring at the computer screens. The room is quite spacious, but in chaos. Nick, the editor, is a short fellow with spiky blond hair. He looks under pressure, staring at the computer screen. Two male Sprites walk out of the room once they notice me and immediately realise who I am; being recognisable has some good points.
I approach Nick, ready to talk, as I haven't heard from him since my last article appeared a few weeks ago. Shortly after the meeting starts, Nick gives me another task. This time I have to investigate the flood in one of the student houses. I don't want to refuse this unappealing article, because in the future I might not get anything else. I am only doing it to gain the experience that I need for my Masters. I have still got two years before I can start thinking about my journalism career.
Campus isn't as busy as I leave at quarter past five. I rush home, trying to avoid a group of Sprites with Rose and sneak around to take the longer route. Rose is always around the university, probably looking after another student. The sun is fully out and the lack of clouds in the sky has pushed everyone to Mumbles. I suddenly feel fond of Wales. I have only got a month and a half left until the term will end, before I have to go back to London. I don't want to go.
The house is empty and I am glad that I am alone at last. I feel that I am sad for deciding to stay in my room rather to go out and enjoy this glorious weather, which won't last for long. But I need to be on my own after another day of having the Sprites' eyes on me.
The secretive message from Aideen doesn't get to me until Thursday evening, mysteriously appearing on my desk after my late dinner. The envelope is plain white and the message is short. I have to meet Aideen on Friday evening outside the campus library. I am glad that he is sticking to his promise about letting me know when he needs to see me. I need to prepare myself to be around him and to fight the attraction that we are both dismissing. I keep telling myself that he is just another good-looking Sprite. I can't possibly get involved with another paranormal creature.
The barbecue that Emma was talking about is on Saturday evening. She said that everyone has decided to go to Three Cliffs Bay. I am wondering if I should go or not – it's not really a wise idea, what with Gabriel being only a few steps away and the council keeping watch on me carefully according to Aideen. I allow myself to think this idea through as it's only Thursday, but my subconscious reminds me that I have to make up my mind fast.
***
Friday evening rolls around. While all my other housemates are getting ready to go and have an amazing, wild night out, I leave after seven to meet with Aideen at the campus. I am not certain what to expect, but deep down I am excited to see him. Millions of thoughts are going through my mind when I reach the library building. It's already dark and the navy sky is filled with stars. I begin to wonder what is going to happen if I can't pass through the gate because it's been locked. I pass a group of students who are in fancy dress, drunkenly making their way to town. A few Sprites are following, looking bored. Fortunately for me the gate isn't locked and I slip in, only noticed by a few dog-walkers. The campus is deserted, enveloped in a dead silence. Just a few of the buildings have lights still on. I stand outside the door, thinking that I must look stupid and suspicious being here alone.
'You came,' says the mystical voice of Aideen, who appears out of nowhere as usual.
Tonight, he looks more like a member of the Sprite council, wearing dark trousers and a leather jacket. I swallow hard, trying to dismiss his beautiful eyes in the moonlight.
'Yes. I got your message.'
'I am delighted. Let's walk to the main building to begin our research,' he responds, taking my hand and I jerk away.
'Sorry. I am not used to that,' I murmur, feeling embarrassed.
Then after a few seconds, I realise that Veronica always used to hold my hand. Maybe this is just the way the Sprites are.
'No, don't apologise. I constantly forget that you are a human,' he says in a calm but uneasy tone.
The silence between us is uncomfortable and I try not to blush as he walks next to me. I begin to wonder why he is taking me to the main building; I won't be able to pass through the security – I don't have my pass on me. Despite my worries, we walk around the building to the back and we get in through the small black door that Aideen unlocks easily. I don't ask any questions, as I know I won't get any reasonable answers from Aideen.
'Our library is in this building, at the back,' he explains, leading me through dark, empty corridors that I have never been through before.
I feel completely lost. I thought that I knew this building like the back of my hand, but Aiden is walking me along a floor that I never knew that existed. When we finally stop, Aideen whispers something that I can't understand and he walks through a large wooden door into a wide space filled with books. My jaw drops when he switches all the lights. This room is extraordinary. It's another library hidden well within the grounds of the university.
'This is where we will be working,' he announces and when I look at him, he gives me a warm smile.
I flush. To distract myself, I look around the room and I find that I am lost for words. Aideen's light brown eyes are staring at me intensely.
'I never knew that this room is hidden in here.'
'This library is only accessible by members of the council.'
'Oh. Should I feel privileged?' I ask.
'I wouldn't – it's just a library, but the council appears to make a big fuss about this place. Let's get to work.'
Aideen asks me to look through the old laws section. All I know is that he wants to find a cure to save Gabriel, but I don't know where to start. I decide to start with any laws that are related to both humans and Sprites. Once I've narrowed it down, it doesn't take me long to find the right books. I take out the first thick book with a gold cover. I run my hand across the black title, feeling its beautifully embossed lettering. I sit down at a table and begin to turn the pages carefully, trying not to miss anything that might be useful. I work steadily, carefully absorbing any information that might be crucial. This research could potentially take months, even years, if we have to go through all these books. I have never been interested in law and all these books seem monotonous. I realise that the Sprite law is formed in the same complex language as human law. When I'm reading through my third book, Aideen walks in and sits by me. He has a few books with him.
'I am sorry, but I don't think I can find anything. I don't think it's here,' I say, yawning.
'The answer is here. Maybe this isn't your ideal way to spend an evening, so you can go back, if you wish,' he says, staring into my eyes.
'No. I want to stay,' I mumble, embarrassed.
'Thank you. I appreciate it.'
I inhale deeply, trying to calm the explosion of inappropriate thoughts in my head. His light brown eyes are twinkling in the corners.
I go back to my book. I try to concentrate on what I am reading, but he is making it very difficult. We are surrounded by complete silence and I am aware of the invisible tension that envelops us. I keep reminding myself that I am in love with Gabriel and no matter what's going to happen with him I will stay loyal to him. A warm desire catches inside of me, projecting what might happen if I don't stop thinking about Aideen.
'May I ask you a personal question, if you don't mind?' he says, not looking at me.
'Yeah, sure.'
'How do you feel when you are in love with someone?'