We walked out of the closet a few minutes after. My prep team had joined Virana and Angeline and looked at us with both suspicion and intrigue. Their eyes asked a sort of, "What's going on there?" As always, they all matched. Today, it was a classier ensemble made up of a navy suit jacket and sparking undershirts. They're tight pants were also embedded with sparkles.
"You two took your time, didn't you?" Angeline asked, but made nothing else of it. "We've got to get Noah ready."
Next to her, Varina nodded. "That hair alone is going to take up most of my day," she agreed.
I rolled my eyes to hide the fact that I was actually worried about the state of my hair. Getting here, Varina always left my hair down and curled it. Now, she would have to completely restyle it, and I would have to pretend to be okay with it.
"Don't worry, sweetie, we already had a look at you while you were recovering," Otis informed me. This made me feel worse rather than better.
"Any imperfections are already covered up," Edna added. I recalled all my gashes and bruises that had mysteriously disappeared when I woke up today. That had been them? I guess I should've been thankful.
"So, what's left?" I asked hesitantly.
Next to me, Sariel snorted. "Wrong question."
Galene sighed and answered the question. "Makeup, nails, waxing anything that grew back. It shouldn't be too bad."
"And when all that's over, you get to put on a pretty dress and meet up with Caesar for the recap video," Varina finished, well aware of the sarcasm behind it all.
To think I was starting to get worried about the interview the night after. But now, I also had the recap video to worry about. Previously, it had just been made up of video clips with a lot of people dying and a lot of the victor seeming extra cruel.
I turned to Sariel and asked a question with my eyes. He responded with an uneasy smile. "It's not so bad, just relax for now."
Somehow, I found that would be hard.
As promised, prep team fixed me up. I was a lot prettier when they were done with me, but my hair was still a soft spot. Varina promised to fix it, so I sat in a chair with my back to a sink with bottles of miscellaneous hair products all around me. When she arrived, Sariel was trailing behind her. It was an effort not to grin at him.
"Give me that hair so I can fix it up," Varina commanded. I tilted my head back as she turned on the sink. Although I couldn't see him, I heard Sariel take a seat next to me. When I tried to turn and look, Varina made a sound of annoyance.
"That's okay, I'll just watch," Sariel offered.
At first, Varina was simply washing my hair, something I knew it definitely needed. Then, she sat me up and took to cutting. There was a lot of snipping and a lot of tiny hairs covering me by the time we were done.
"You ready?" she asked. I glanced over at Sariel, but his face gave nothing away. Why was he so good at that?
"Okay," I muttered. She guided me over to the mirror, my nerves bustling. Would I even be recognizable after this?
Surprisingly, the answer was yes.
My hair was short. In my mind, very short. It came just above my shoulders at the longest parts and cascaded around. Each strip seemed to be all its own, as opposed to my old style, where everything functioned as a unit.
"It's different," I finally said. I toyed around with the bangs that came over one of my eyebrows. "But I like it. It's a lot better than before, anyway."
Virana was glowing next to me. "I'm glad you think so. Sorry for having to cut so much off, but there was a lot of damage."
I shrugged. "There are others things to worry about, right?"
Sariel came up behind me. I watched him smile in the mirror. "As long as you like it, I like it," he agreed.
"Now, for the most important part: the dress." Varina led me away, down a few more hallways and into the old mirrored room. This was where I got my Peacekeeper outfit just before the Chariot rides, when I was sure I was going to hate Varina.
Today, a dress was waiting for me on a hanger. Unlike the usual grey or black outfits Virana presented me, this one was colorful. The majority of the dress was "maya blue" according to my stylist, aka a few shades darker than the sky. It looked like it was strapless and ball gown length and was accented with tiny silver crystals.
Varina had me put it on right away, and immediately after she zippered it, commanded me to twirl in it. "Just as I suspected," she said, "it's perfect."
It was nearly time for the video by then. We were sent off to the bottom of the stage, where they lined everyone up--me, Sariel, Angeline, Virana and the team--in a special order and told us to wait.
As we stood in formation, Sariel held my hand. I was a step in front of him, I guess due to the fact that I was the actual Victor. Although I couldn't see his face, just feeling his fingers against my own was enough to make me feel better. I was pretty sure I was going to fall apart watching this video alone.
"It'll be a piece of cake," he whispered to me. "Just pretend you're looking at me whenever there's a death."
I nodded, hoping that was an alright idea. Before I could say anything more, we were given the signal and the floor beneath us began to raise up. I let go of Sariel's hand and did my best to look confident as the lights flooded over us and the audience's cheers picked up.
Caesar Flickerman was conducting our introduction. I managed to grin when he said my name. Around me, my team disappeared as they were announced, all receiving their share of cheers. Once they were gone, I headed over to where Caesar was sitting. There was a white chair that seemed to have its own spotlight on it. As gracefully as possible, I sat down in it. I offered Caesar a smile as I did.
"Noah Albedo," Caesar said in a very admiring tone. "It's wonderful to have you back."
I was finding it very hard to formulate a response to that. "Thank you, Caesar. It's good to be breathing in the Capitol air again. Or, any air."
That caused a laugh out of him. It made me feel a little better, but still not nearly relaxed as I should've been. "I can't wait until we get a chance to really talk at the interview tomorrow." Right, that. Caesar would ask questions all about the Games, making everyone has uncomfortable as possible. The only real perk was that, unlike today's event, it wasn't live.
"For now," Caesar said, "let's get the recap show started."
With that, the stage lights were dimmed and, on a projection over their heads, the video started.
In the beginning, it was easy to watch. It was a summation of the Reapings, with a special emphasis on mine. I felt so young then, like I gained a lifetime of knowledge. What would I tell that girl if I could go back?
Skim through the Chariot rides and the training highlights, another young version of myself is once again sitting with Caesar. I looked partially scared, but also strangely comfortable when I told a joke or said something sarcastic. The people that I allied with also got a special spotlight. Midnight, Diana, Ginger, Ryker--even Emmit, teaching Caesar how to dance in front of the entire nation--all were shown. Distantly, I missed them. Not in the way you would miss someone that was dead, but someone that you met once and shared a moment with. And you would have to learn to be okay with never seeing them again.
Soon, the Games started. I looked at myself, dressed very similar to my outfit this morning, as I stood on a platform, ready to dive in the water. Everyone that died in the bloodbath was shown. It must've been a record number of tributes. At this point, a question that had left my mind long ago was answered: who killed Kane. It was a group effort by the Career Alliance, handled mainly by Ciruss pining him down and Laurel taking a sword to his chest. Damn.
The Games were three days in, when the heavy rain started and I gained more allies. From this point of view, I looked like some kind of hero. It seemed to highlight my every success, as if I could do nothing wrong. Noah protects her friends. Noah convinced Ginger to team up. Noah guides the group to the fruit.
Even when I triggered an attack by Anita and Saira and killed the better part of my alliance, I still looked like a saint by comforting Ginger. But I knew the truth. I had been lying to her then, keeping secrets. I would leave her by the next day. She would be dead in two.
How had I been the one that made it?
They also highlighted the Career alliance here and there. How they seemed to be constantly splitting apart and coming back together. I watched as Ciruss joined up with Saira, Emmit ran from the Cornucopia and then sided with me, as Sai and Laurel struggled to survive in the terrible environment. And again, I asked again: How had I been the one that survived?
At the same time, the question seemed to be getting answered. There were side by side clips of Emmit and me tracking down Ciruss and Saira. My first kill. For this part, I mentally pictured Sariel. Instead of grinning at me, he looked disgusted, trying not to watch as I yanked my knife out of her.
I could feel myself breathing heavily as the image faded away. He hated me, I was sure of it.
Back on screen, I poisoned Emmit. They hardly even showed the note from Sariel. It looked as if I had concocted the plan all on my own. What kind of an angle were they going for? His screams echoed, even as I ran as far away as possible. There was no way to make me look like a hero after that.
Sariel said this was okay, remember? The note he sent?
My final three kills flew by. And then, it was over. Just like the Games ended the moment they made the announcement. So why did it feel l was never going to get away from them?
Just when I thought it was over, the anthem began to play. Everyone rose from their seats, and so I did the same, just in time to see President Snow appearing on the stage. He was followed by a little girl carrying a pillow. I wanted to grimace at what she carried ever so carefully on that pillow--the crown. The true mark of the Victor.
As the President approached, I momentarily panicked. For one thing, I had never been this close to anyone important, not even the mayor in Two. For another thing, where was I supposed to look as he was coming? At him? Of course not.
The distance between us was soon closed, and I was surprised to see the man smiling at me as he rose the crown and set it gently on my head. It pushed down my bangs and made it a little harder to see, but I managed a grateful smile back.
"Congratulations, Ms. Albedo," he said in a husky voice. He stuck out his hand, and for a moment I was almost too intimidated to shake it. Then I came to my senses, remembering that the entirety of Panem was watching, and shook.
"Thank you for that wonderful presentation, President Snow. Remember, the final interview with our Victor starts tomorrow at two o'clock. Until then, goodnight, Panem. Happy Hunger Games, and may the odds be ever in your favor."
The lights were out again, and I was quickly being taken off stage.
Sariel was the first one to meet me. He had only a small smile on his face. Not horrified, I told myself. Happy. "Ready for the after party?" he asked. I wanted to shake my head no while curling into his shoulder and falling asleep for the rest of the time in the Capitol.
The so called after party wasn't much of a party for me. Instead of enjoying myself, I met what had to be a good hundred sponsors, all saying how much they were rooting for me in the Games. At first, I wondered if they contributed to the food supply, or to the poison I got, but I quickly realized that there were too many people for this to really add up. Instead, I pretended to be thankful for all of them.
By the end of the night, I was exhausted. It seemed like the time spent sleeping in the hospital didn't do me much good, because it felt like I hadn't had a good nights sleep in weeks.
"Just one more event," Sariel told me as we headed back to the training center, where the floor we entered after the Chariot rides would still be made up for us, "and then we'll be back home."
I nodded, but my thoughts were going in every direction. "Is it weird, going home after all of this?" I asked him, knowing he wouldn't lie to me.
There was a slight hesitation before he said, "At first. It's different for everyone, and you've got a great family waiting for you. But life is different."
I sighed to myself, unable to even imagine it. "I hope it's a good kind of different."
Sariel nodded as we reached my door. "Me too."
We both stopped, but I didn't move to open it. Instead, I turned and looked up at him. "Remember when you told me you wanted someone to go into the arena with you in mind? That you wanted to be the thing they lived for?" A nod. "Who put that idea in your head?"
His eyes darted over head my shoulder, but I knew he was more looking away from me than at something else. His answer came after a long breath. "The person that I came into the Games fighting for."
There was a short silence. "A girl?" I finally asked.
"Mhmm."
"Okay," I said. It was a long time ago. Whatever happened, happened. At the moment, I had other things to worry about, and it was obvious he didn't want me to pry.
Before heading to bed, I leaned up and kissed Sariel, soft and slow. I could feel the longing on his lips as I kept on reminding myself what I had to keep in view.
"Taking it slow, right?" I reminded him, keeping my lips only centimeters away from his. In reality, I was still running through reminders of what I pictured during the video. Him watching the Games, hating me for what I was doing.
He grinned, keeping me in reality. "She says as she kisses me outside of her door, when it would be so easy to open it and throw her onto her bed."
I felt my cheeks go hot at even the thought of it. "As he completely forgets that I haven't slept within a hundred miles of someone that didn't want to kill me in weeks."
We were both joking, and yet both of us knew we really weren't. He let me go, though, telling me to get some sleep. "I'll see you in the morning," he added.
I smiled at the thought and headed to sleep. My analysis had been right, though. Deep sleep was hard to find. Every noise made me sit up in a panic, every nightmare reminded me of the arena.
By the time Angeline woke me up, I felt worse than I did that night. I got back into my training outfit and headed out for breakfast, just like I would've before the Games.
But they were over now.
No one mentioned my appearance over breakfast. Instead, Sariel kept busy chatting about the final interview with Caesar. It was a bit like deja vu, really.
"He'll just run over the Games, basically like the video," Sariel began. "No audience, just you and him. He likes to make it as personal as possible, try not to make you look larger than life. Use this to your advantage."
"What if I want to be larger than life?" I asked, mostly kiddingly.
"Trust me, you don't. Now that you're a Victor, you want people to like you, not fear you. It's like taking two steps back form where you are now."
I nodded into my breakfast, suddenly no longer hungry. It was like the prepping and the angles never stopped around here. I couldn't imagine what the Victory Tour would be like in a few months.
Just focus on today.
The rest of the day consisted of me getting into yet another dress and sitting in yet another chair, having yet another conversation with Caesar.
By the time the cameras started rolling, I had already mastered how much sass-but-also-honesty I would throw into my answers and plastered on my best "friendly" smile.
Caesar presented his usual welcomes and congratulations. We started off talking about how I felt, both now and during various points in my Hunger Games journey. Then the conversation turned to family, allies, district partners, my new life and everything in between. I myself was having trouble keeping track of what I already talked about, but Caesar seemed to be doing just fine.
"I just have one last comment, and this is more of my personal taste than something I had to ask." I felt myself sigh with relief as I realized we were done. "I really like the new haircut. Is it apart of the new Noah image?"
I forced myself to laugh. "You could say that, though once half of your hair is burnt anyway, you really don't have a choice. Although in comparison, it's one of the smaller changes to my life. You could say it symbolizes something more."
Caesar smiled anyway. "Well, it's lovely, just like you. It's always a pleasure. I can't wait until you return for your Victory Tour. Until then, go home, return to your life, and stay out of trouble."
I'll do my best. I shook his hand and kept smiling until someone behind a camera yelled, "We're clear."
Sariel came up to me first, playfully throwing an arm over my shoulder. "We're in the home stretch."
"How did it go?" I asked him.
"Fine. It sounded good. Like your usual self," he told me. This made me feel somewhat better. And anyway, he was right. We were done now. Just go home and stay there until the Victory Tour. What more could I ask for?
Within hours I was on my way out of the Capitol. I had already said good bye to my team. Angeline said she simply couldn't wait until the Victory Tour. I had a different opinion, but I was getting very good at smiling and nodding. A practiced skill, it seemed.
Sariel and I entered the train, the same one we had rode into the Capitol in. It felt a lot emptier now, what without the weight of panic. Maybe the fact that Kane and Angeline weren't here helped. We sat next to each other, looking out the window as the colors of the Capitol disappeared. For the first time in a long while, I might've described the feeling as carefree.