As Cole walks me home I can't help but think about the things he confessed to me. About his father being murdered in front of him, and him being in a medical hospital for a whole week. His answers only gave a thousand more questions.
Unfortunately, i'm not a pushy person.
I can't keep asking him questions that really aren't my business. Just like he doesn't pry into my private life, I shouldn't pry into his. Even though it eats me inside out.
When we get there he decides to come inside the condo with me. I don't argue because I know Lana is in her room still and that she won't come out. I still can't stop myself from being really nervous about having Cole and Lana in the same building let alone the same condo. They're two different parts of my life that I really don't want to collide.
"Its really homey in here. But really clean." Cole says as he looks around.
I take a good look at the place myself. I can't say i've noticed how untouched and it looks. I've been eating scraps all day which didn't make a mess and Lana only ate when I tried to force her. The house looks like it hasn't been lived in for weeks.
It just reminds me of how Lana isn't working. She has an excuse because of her pregnancy for her long days off but if it wasn't for that... she wouldn't have a job to get back to.
"Yeah." I whisper.
Cole turns to me. "I have another question." He says.
I raise an eyebrow at him. "What is it?"
"Why don't you sleep?" He asks.
I sigh knowing he was going to ask this sooner or later. "Maybe we should talk about this somewhere else." I tell him and then I start leading him upstairs and into my room. I always feel safe in here. And what i'm about to tell him deserves a safe place.
I motion Cole to sit on the bed, and when he does I sit next to him.
I take a deep breath before going into the details.
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Flashback...
"Dad you seriously need to drive faster." I whine in the back seat. "I mean, my favorite show is on in an hour!"
The windshield wipers were swiping ferociously with all their might but the rain was extremely hard, it was all just a blur; not to mention how dark it was outside. To think it was only 8:30 pm.
"Sweetie, it might take more time than we thought." My dad says squinting through his glasses to see the road. "This rain is really going down hard."
My mom nods in agreement. "Maybe we should head back. I mean with this rain wind combination... I might even have to skip night school." My mom trys to look outside but you could tell she couldn't see anything clearly.
"Turn back?!" I screech. "We can't turn back! Were almost there! Everything will be ruined!"
My mother sighs and my dad frowns. I was such a brat back then wasn't I?
If it was even possible the rain starting falling harder and the wind was blowing faster. It got so cold. That was something I could remember clearly. How cold it was so I became completely numb.
Suddenly a big branch flies off a tree and barely misses crushing the car. My dad slams the brakes and parks on the side of the road.
We were all shell-shocked and and silent for a moment. "That's it. Were turning back to find some sort of shelter." My dad says. "The hurricane must be starting tonight." My mom nods in agreement.
I frown and start my tantrum. "Are you serious? No, that's unacceptable!" I start to scream. "You guys always ruin everything."
My mom frowns with a sad look on her face. "I'm sorry Sabrina." She says sweetly. "I'm sorry things aren't going well for you tonight but I promise i'll get you that nail polish."
"When mother?" I snap at her. "I need it tonight! Are you just gonna make it magically appear in my hands?"
"I'll get it for you tomorrow then." She says looking at me hopefully.
"Can't you process what i'm saying through you small mind? I need it tonight!!" I scream at her.
My dad starts to turn the car around and my mom leaves the conversation with a hurt look on her face.
"You're not supposed to speak to your mother like that Sabrina!" My dad snaps at me. I see a tear staring to fall out of her eyes. My mom has always been really sensitive.
"I don't care." I snap back at him. "Your guys knew I needed it! And we were so close to getting it but you just had to make sure things didn't go well for me right?"
I was very OCD back then. Everything had to be perfect for me. The only reason that my parents even put up with me talking to them like that is because they knew I was short-tempered with things like that. Things that interfere with my perfection. They knew how crazy I get. How I tend to say things I don't mean.
"That's no reason to hurt you mother's feelings." My dad scolds me. I roll my eyes.
"I hate you." I whisper.
"What?" My dad asks out loud.
"I HATE YOU!" I scream.
That's when it happened. Something was blocking the road. I caught a glimpse of it and saw that it was the big branch from earlier. My dad tries to swerve around it but with the combination of the wind and the slippery road things got out of control. The car went swerving and then started to fall down a slope that went down next to the road. My mom screams as the car flips over and then everything was a blur.
I felt like I was flying. Away away away from it all. Then I land and there's a sharp pain in my left arm. I'm conscious but everything is still black. When things clear up I see that I landed next to lake. I try to get up and pain is extremely sharp. I force myself up. I start to process everything that just happened. I start frantically looking for my parents. What happened to the car? I look around and see something burning behind 3 large trees. I limp towards it ignoring the sharp pain in my arm and the sore pain in the rest of my body. All I could think of was what could have happened to my parents.
The scene behind the trees horrified me.
The car -or whats left of it- is on fire. My dad's head is conjoined with the steering wheel and his glasses have punctured his eye. The fire is all around his body burning his remains. Blood. Blood is everywhere. He's drenching in it. Glass has punctured every inch of his body. I know its too late for him. But where's my mom?
I start to walk around and I find my mom on the shore of the lake. The passenger seat is still connected to her. There's a large crack in her head that separates and area of her skull and shows her brain starting to ooze out. There's a huge gash in her stomach where the pressure of the seat belt pushed in. There's even more blood coming out of her. The worst thing about seeing her this way would have to be that her eyes were wide open as if she were alive. But her eyes were also empty. Her body is still here but the place where her soul was is hollow.
I choke a sob.
There's another sharp pain in my right arm. I finally build the courage to see the damage that has happened to me. There's several pieces of glass etched into the flesh of my left arm but there's a huge one that as big as a soda can in the upper area of my arm. I could feel how terribly deep it was. Other than that my left arm my right arm was unresponsive. From the intensity of the pain and my inability to move it I knew it was broken. Other than my arms the rest of my body was only with minor injuries.
Now that I was aware of the damage the pain became worse. I walk closer to the water of the lake and I collapse on to the ground. I think about my parents. About how its my fault their dead. How the last word I said to them were "I hate you". The pain of knowing this was worse than any pain someone could ever imagine. I channel my energy into the my physical pains. It was so much better than my emotional pain. Its like an escape from my emotional hurt. I close my eyes.
I hear sirens.
**********************************************
I stop talking to Cole. Telling the story of that night is too unbearable. I've been crying without knowing because my eyes are damp and my face is wet.
"I could never sleep again because..." I start to say. "Because now that i've practically killed my parents, their in a permanent sleep because of me. All I can see when I try to close my eyes for some rest is the pain. The suffering. The blood. The darkness...."
Cole takes my hand. "Its like, me not being able to sleep is punishment for what i've done." I continue. "And cutting... is how I can escape. Its like getting drunk and everything is blur. This is how I get away from it all. From the hurt and suffering that is my life."
I start sobbing and Cole hugs me to his chest.
"You don't have to do that anymore." He whispers into my ear. "You have me now."
Tonight I finally sleep. I sleep in Cole's arms knowing that he'll catch any bad and scary things that will try to take away my mind.
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I wrote this whole chapter in ONE day! And today is Sunday which is supposed to be the day of rest so I hope everyone appericiates this! Anyway you guys finally foudn out what happened! YAYYY!!!! :D