After the first dance had finished something tapped Jane on her shoulder. It was Ostara.
"May I have this dance, milady?" he asked.
"You most certainly may not, you unwashed, ill-bred simpleton!" Austin interrupted.
"Leave us immediately!"
"I am sorry" Jane said and took Ostara's hands.
"I promised this dance to him, you see"
"Very well" Austin said, each consonant a threat of bodily harm.
"You are most generous; that is but one of the things I love about you" Austin continued, but Jane could see he did not mean it.
"Why are we back in this little room!?" Urminora cried out in great frustration.
"The entrance of this blasted castle just led back here! How could this happen!?"
"Magic" Jessica said grimly.
"Canini magic, it is unlike anything I have ever seen...Observe! The air all around us is quivering as if everything was wreathed in flames. We must try to counter it somehow!"
It was no use. The dungeon cell Urminora and Jessica had been locked inside could not be broken out of.
"I have never seen a metal such as this..." Jessica said, her face ashen from the recent explosion.
"To think that it could withstand a full shot from your supersuit! And the magic...None of my spells can even dent it!"
"BAH...LET US OUT!" Urminora grumbled and shook the bars fruitlessly again.
"I told Jane it was foolish going along this road, but did she listen?"
"What do they want with us, anyway?"
Jessica and Urminora soon realized that they would not be fed the following days either, but left in this dungeon to starve. Their only company was another prisoner in a torture chamber opposite theirs. The other prisoner did not speak much and when he did it was only to pose riddles. Urminora just huddled into the corner and covered her ears when the prisoner did this, but Jessica could not help but think there were more to it than simply passing time.
She had only met caninis once before, as The Silvercrowned One had brought along some of his younger children to a jackalope initiation ceremony. At first Jessica thought they spoke weirdly because they were young and precocious but now she realized these strange creatures talked in some kind of code. Jessica listened closely and looked around the cell for the tell-tale signs of magic.
"I spy with my little eye..." Ostara whispered.
After yet another lavish dinner in her honor day Jane tried to once again leave the castle.
Nobody stopped her but despite several attempts she found herself back at the room with the bed and drapes again. After the seventh attempts she once again ran into Ostara, together with Urminora and Jessica.
"Are you looking for the way out?" he asked her.
"Yes, do you know the way!?" Jane was beginning to despair she would ever leave this wretched castle.
"I will get you and your friends out" Ostara said.
"Together we broke the magic of the prison..."
He seemed to be a lot more uneasy than usual. Ostara was always so calm and gentle despite the castle lord seeming to have it in for him.
"But only if you promise to sleep in my bed tonight"
Jane just looked at him, turned around and left.
"Wait!" Ostara shouted faintly behind her.
"The ritual is almost complete! Austin will take you to his chambers tonight! You have no idea what he will do to you!!"
Jane immediately found herself in the ballroom, which looked very different. For one it was completely empty except for Austin. She once again felt the same drowsy and sleepy sensation overtake her.
"It was a close call, but I see that you chose me in the end..." he whispered.
"I did not choose any of you creeps!" Jane shouted.
"Let me out this instant!!!"
Jane tried to punch Austin who effortlessly caught and bent her arms backward, breaking it. Jane yelped with the sudden pain.
"You think this is about sex?" Austin whispered in her ear, standing behind her, still holding her hand.
"I will take you to my chambers now, and then the ritual shall be complete..."
Jane gulped, realizing she was powerless against the caninins and their strange and horrible games.
"I thiiink I will begin by plucking your fingers off one by oooooone" Austin sang as he began to drag Jane up to his chambers in the tallest tower.
With this a great fear came over Jane and the spell on her mind was destroyed. With icy clarity she could see Austin transform into some kind of evil beast. His teeth elongated painfully, stretching his mouth wide. His eyes sunk into his skull, leaving pus-filled fire in the empty sockets. His limbs contorted, turning into long and hollow ropes. With her final strength Jane managed to escape Austin's grip and head for the castle doors, however she knew she would not be able to get out that way. Behind her she could hear footsteps as if a thousand tiny ants were chasing her.
In the corner of her eyes Jane could see a door opening. Having nothing to lose Jane ducked inside. This must be Ostara's quarters. It was strangely large and luxurious for a simple shoe shiner, looking almost exactly like the room Jane had been sleeping in these past two days. The pictures were much more clearer here, showing caninis playing in the nightly mist and kings riding through the woods. Ostara was sleeping in the bed and Jane crept up to him and shook him awake.
"Help me" she whispered.
"Sleep here until dawn; I will keep him away" Ostara said gently.
"I will help you"
With a wave of his hands Ostara healed Jane's broken arm. Jane fell asleep to Austin's pacing just outside, tens of thousands of itchy steps at the time. But Ostara guarded the door, and it could not be opened.
Ostara had indeed helped Urminora and Jessica out of the castle. They were staying in a nearby village called Thistlerose with a kindly washerwoman. She was a human and married to a canini guard (Tithe-With-Tamlin) of the castle. However, they were soon wanted and had to leave.
"I will not report you" the canini guard said.
"Buy you are ruining our playtime and must leave us"
From then on out Urminora and Jessica hung out in the woods near the castle and waited for Jane to escape.
The following morning Ostara woke Jane.
"I will help you a final time" he said.
"But only if you promise to not lie to mother when you next meet her"
"I promise" Jane said.
"Thank you for everything"
With this Ostara smiled and pulled out one of his whiskers, which turned into a large rope. Jane threw it out of the window and reunited with Urminora and Jessica, who had been looking for a way in (the castle had nothing but thick walls around it, with no entrance of any kind). Swiftly running away from the castle and through the forest they managed to find the road and the pylons with no further mishaps.
The ground around the eleventh pylon was painted with smiles and eyes in a hap-hazard manner but Jane did not have time to take a closer look. Gasping for air the three friends was met with a stern-looking Cornelius.
"The trial of Mrs Wild is already underway, I am afraid" he said to the disappointed Jane.
"Demon attack at the twelfth pylon!" Martha shouted and ran up to them.
"We will go!" Jane said, sparing poor Wild a thought.
The way to the twelfth pylon was more or less as straight-forward as you could wish for in the underworld. The road itself was mostly the normal foggy, dreary and grey landscape of the underworld (although it was floating in midair, revealing clouds and some semblance of blue both below the ground and in the sky. Sometimes it was said that a second smiling moon could be seen!), but the pylon itself was one of the weirdest of the twenty-three. It hadn't actually been built by Scrivens or Totte, as it was the template they had used to build the other twenty-two. It was nothing less than perfect.
That is because the area around it was made from the ultimate forms. This pylon was not A pylon, it was THE pylon, the very concept of pylons made flesh. The pylon was not surrounded by rocks, but rather THE rock, not by grass, but THE grass and so on. Coming here was like living in a cave and just seeing shadows all your life, but finally you step out into the glorious shining sun and saw things for real!
Everybody viewed the pylon the same way, although everybody forgot what it looked like as soon as they left. It was here that most shades that gave up on their journey stopped. After all, it was close enough to the perfectness of paradise (or at least it was to them). However, they were still living in an idea, not in reality, and the eternal life they had here was just an illusion and the pylon a prison.
And if the Demons attack such a remarkable place? Why, it simply means the perfect demon, of course...
Jane met up with Jessica and Urminora again just outside the road leading up to the hill (THE hill) where the pylon was located. Jane was glad to see them although at this point she felt like she could take on a giant and not think much of it.
"Gallinega is on her way here, too" Jessica urgently informed Jane.
"She just need to get the demons along the perimeter of the pylon, we cannot afford any more to get close!" Urminora quickly added.
"Annabelle and Quint will take over for her as soon as their new weapon is done; apparently it will drench them in Cirripedia-juice"
"Annabelle and Quint or the demons?" Jane joked and jumped forth.
"I wonder how the demons managed to attack this place..." Jessica wondered.
"Usually there is a perfect shield around it"
"Well" Urminora said sarcastically.
"Maybe someone cast a perfect shield-piercing charm?"
"Or perhaps something made from corrupted magic?" Jessica offered.
"A perfect corruption would..."
"Okay, enough theories!" Jane grinned at her friends.
"Let's go!"
Good thing the ladies decided to do that, as I am not in the mood to discuss what happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object. This is, after all, not a book about philosophy but a book about talking animals and all-powerful bunnies, in case you did not notice. Hrmm, well. The jackalopes should be by the pylon now, I reckon.
The perfect demon was twice as tall as the pylon, nearly towering over the mountains around it. Jane idly wondered if this was the demon leader the secretary had used or just a regular demon empowered by the "perfectness of the pylon." In any case, it had to go down! It did help quite a bit that the perfect pylon influenced her too. She had temporarily become the perfect image of what a hare should be. She was tall and watchful, her dark fur brimming with energy and playfulness. She was truly the equal of the first jackalope made when The Silvercrowned One was still young and at peakful power.
Urminora and Jessica had been similarly transformed; Urminora rended the demon with tooth and nail like a ferocious monster in her pride and Jessica was a great proud bird that blocked out the sky of the underworld with her wings. Suddenly a terrifying dragon rolled down from the mountaintop, it opened its maw and breathed a storm of arrows at the demon. Jane understood that this was Gallinega as interpreted by the perfect pylon.
Jane's initital plan was to lure the demon away from the pylon and defeat it there, outside of the influence of the pylon but they were quite unable to coax it into leaving. The four jackalopes circled it slowly and looked for an opening but the perfect demon would not yield. It was the perfect image of decay and the unknowable, and not even four perfect jackalopes could defeat it. On the other hand, the demon could not defeat them either. The battle raged on for hours without anyone getting tired or defeated.
In fact, the pylon had created the perfect shape of battle.
Jane was suddenly struck with inspiration. They had been going about this all wrong! In this perfect world of shapes and ideas they could not fight in like a normal battle. They had to rely on the ideas BEHIND their forms...the demon was a perfect idea of decay. What in the world could counter that? Only death itself trumped decay...and what was the symbol of death?
Jumping around and evading the demon Jane told of her plans to the others. The four friends then held their hands and formed a symbol. The symbol was the number four, the number of death. They now were the masters of death and used it to utterly oblirate the demon. So forceful was this power that the magic of the pylon blinked and disappeared in an instant. The power of death itself collapsed due to the power of the pylon momentarily fading, and this was very lucky because otherwise it would just have grown and grown and eventually engulf both the underworld and the realm of mortals, perhaps even the godly realms.
And down the demon went.
Such a remarkable display had not been shown in the underworld since the lion-sun king obliterated the invasion of devils that had threatened to overtake the road! Around the pylon cheering souls appeared around the four heroes. Jane could recognize some of them; a surly girl in overalls and a large hammer...Oh, and the old priest from Oaohnan and the angry shade she had left at Anubis's place with Lawrence. It seemed this shade had found his girlfriend. The pylon made her as beautiful as a painting (although one drawn by a cubist). Undoubtedly Urminora, Jessica and Gallinega recognized many souls that they personally had guided to this place in one way or another. The Wight-lady flew by, creating a sort of dark rainbow over the pylon (a perfect rainbow, in fact) With the four of them still standing there in forms of perfect glory Jane could soon tell this battle would soon become the stuff of underworld legend. Hopefully it would be a perfect legend.
Jane was sitting with The Silvercrowned One, Permeter and Mrs Wild on one of the moons of the underworld. It was overlooking Nifelheim, the city of the dead. Located just beside the Dead Sea, it was a port town the dead took for the final journey of their...final journey.
"So, how is life as a jackalope treating you, Jane?" lady Permeter asked Jane.
"You have already done so much...You really should be quite proud of yourself!"
"Have I done more than Grey?" Jane asked hopefully.
"Actually" The Silvercrowned One said slowly.
"Grey managed to sneak into the trial and witness on Mrs Wild's behalf. Apparently she overheard you saying that Mrs Wild was innocent."
"I...I see" Jane stammered.
By the way" The Silvercrowned One said.
"One of my boys, Ostara-See-The-Rise says that Austin-Takes-Uluru is hogging the playground and being mean to all the other kids. Is this true? Jane, have you tampered in their games!?"
Jane saw the smile disappear from The Silvercrowned One's face and a deep fear gripped her. But she did not break her promise.
"That is true" she said.
"Damn" The Silvercrowned One laughed, the smile fast returning. Permeter tutted.
"That kid will learn some manners yet, I assure you! No more playing in the iron maiden for him for about a week...no, two weeks!"
Jane said nothing. Mrs Wild said nothing either but smiled weakly as The Silvercrowned One and Permeter began discussing their kids. Did Mrs Wild have kids? She had been crying. Jane was getting sleepy, and The Silvercrowned One seemed more interested in talking with Mrs Wild now. They pointed to a comet and then to Hell, far away over the horizon. They seemed to come to a conclusion but Jane did not know about what. The comet blinked as if it wanted to send a friendly greeting to Mrs Wild.
As Jane dreamt she saw the smiling moon engulf her entire mind.
"Jane, I love you" it said.
"Jane, you know that you are now a piece of me that is altogether precious and lovely!"
This was no other but The Silvercrowned One speaking to her and encouraging her in that utterly sincere but also quite creepy way of the gods. Jane woke up and wondered if all gods were this adamant about saying they loved their followers.
Jane's first adventure was over, the first of many. It hadn't been easy, not by a long shot, but with the experience and friendship she had found in the underworld she was now sure that everybody would be just fine.
Jane did not notice the shadow leaving the smiling moon until it arrived at the doorsteps of the eleventh pylon the following night. A shadow leaving the moon? Nothing less than a helpful hand; imagine if laughter was given form and could speak and make decisions of its own. At one point it can no longer resist the urge, like a bottle of water taken to nourish the multitude, to go out into the world but for now it has a mission which has to be completed. This mission concerns Jane and her newly awakened longing to take a little break and return to the silver city for a time. When Jane eagerly opened the knocking door of her room she did not see anybody immediately. A shadow jumped out of the darkness and playfully formed a great oblong figure in the middle of the room.
It hung there for about twenty seconds, but eventually a blue light appeared from within the darkness and settled on the front of the darkness, forming eyes.
The shadow began to speak, bright rivers of green appearing from within to form a mouth just below the winking eyes.
"You are Jane?" it said.
"Daughter of Tervis, son of Buck, son of Roger, son of Harvey, whose ancestral mother is called Velvet?"
"Yes?" Jane said.
"It is time for you to go home" the shadow said simply.
Jane had not realized how much the last two years had taken a toll on her. As soon as she was sent back to the paradise of Tymor in a shower of comets she fell right on top of a star and fell asleep.
Some new arrivals entered paradise while Jane slept. They swirled past her and they dived towards the silver city, ecstatic with joy.
She was woken up by a roaring noise and blinding white lights (sleeping in the middle of a star will do that to you). After crawling out and locating the planet that housed The Silver City, Jane got to her family's house. On the way she noticed that people looked at her in a new way, with admiration and hope. Infused with the power of The Silvercrowned One as she was, Jane felt like a living beacon of power walking down the middle of the street. At first she was quite conscious about it, being about a head taller than anyone else, but soon the mind of The Silvercrowned One touched Jane's inner spirit and she began to walk more confidently, patrolling like a jackalope should.
Just outside her family's dwelling she was stopped by two young males. They looked more or less the same, both of them freckled and plump with round good-natured faces. The only difference was that one of them wore round glasses instead of square ones. Both of them immediately bowed before Jane to her great surprise.
"My brother just arrived from the underworld" the one with round glasses said.
"It is all thanks to the jackalopes that he made it; me and my family cannot thank you enough for this miracle!"
"Thank you, but I was not the one who protected your brother..." Jane began.
"All the jackalopes work as one!" the square-shaped glasses brother said.
"That is what they told me. Therefore, a thanks to you is a thanks to them!"
John was meeting her, as they had promised each other, near the central square of the silver city.
Here, underneath the fountain of Permeter, The Silvercrowned One, Scrivens and Didiprai they quite awkwardly greeted each other. His brain had grown larger and larger, his arms and legs becoming more and more withered. Jane wished he would exercise a bit more and just not float everywhere with those powers of his. While Jane had become quite a warrior John had become what was known as a rabid controller, listening to prayers by the thousandful and relaying them to The Silvercrowned One. If he worked hard he would soon receive a position as a lapinanth, a gigantic creature that oversaw the organization of the jackalopes. Apparently his instructor was quite pleased with him. Jane could not fathom a job in the underworld being that cozy.
"Hello, do you want to come and meet my parents?" Jane finally said after having the fountain spray them with moisture for a while.
By this she really meant;
"So much have happened lately, John. I really slept with you on a whim and the only real thing we have in common is that we started out as jackalopes at the same time. Nevertheless, I'd like to give this a try. Remember Scrivens and Totte. They met an hour before their marriage as an arranged couple and now they more or less ruled the underworld. Do not think that I am weak for thinking this; I expect commitment. I will give you love and time and I expect love and time in return! What do you say?"
"Yes, gladly" John smiled.
And by this he meant;
"Yes, I'd like that"
Jane and John entered her family's dwelling and immediately she hit her head on the entrance. She felt weird looking down on everybody. They all looked so proud but also a little apprehensive, like they were seeing her for the first time. In a matter of speaking they were seeing her for the first time. Jane with her new powerful body and horns, her coal black fur glistening with power, free from the diminishing power of the underworld.
Jane gave them a wide grin scooped up both her mother and father in her huge arms and cried with happiness.
Looking around she saw that the oblong main hall was filled with small carved statues, gifts of cake and ale and several pieces of gold and silver as well as embalming fluids and incense. Furthermor, there were about a hundred cards littering the walls and even some on the floor and ceiling.
"What is this all about?" Jane wondered.
"Oh dearest Jane" Jane's mother smiled through her happy tears.
"These are all gifts people have sent us after hearing that you became a jackalope!"
Jane picked up one of the cards. It was a sketchy drawing in crayon showing a rabbit with horns standing in the way of a group of demons. Behind the horned rabbit was three normal rabbits, a small shaking one and one with a red dress. The last one was larger than the other two (but still smaller than the jackalope and demons) and had a top hat and pipe. The picture was captioned "Jackalope helping us".
"If what The Silvercrowned One has told me is correct" John said.
"That is pretty much what you have been doing for the last two years"
Jane blushed. She wondered if they had heard the tale of her slaying the perfect demon, having Anubis embalming those poor shades or the origin of her nickname Jane ladylike. She looked around again.
"We have a gift for you as well!" Jane's father interrupted and gave Jane a small package.
"It is my latest invention!"
Jane opened the small brown package and held up a small vest in dazzling colors.
"Thanks dad" Jane hugged him again.
"Er...what is it?"
"It is a piece of garment that responds to your heartbeat and sends healing magic if it drops too low.
Furthermore it can detect demons which will be felt as tiny pricks on your skin which disappears as soon as the demon is actually in sight. It can also be customized to give the wearer feelings of calm and comfort as well as heating you up in cold areas. The Silvercrowned One has already ordered a few hundreds and an extra large size for his wife and wants you to test it out for me!"
"It will be an honor, dad!" Jane put on the vest and twirled awkwardly on the spot.
"I know what you think about the colors" Tervis laughed.
"It is designed to be worn under your regular jackalope outfit, you know!"
"What a nice family you have" John giggled.
"And a good little boy you captured!" Princeton laughed, already quite drunk on Sue's beer.
"I may be a librarian, keeper of knowledge and the road through all libraries and the bars between the worlds and universes but I can see that you have found your place quite well at my sister's side!"
"Hahah!" Alex laughed.
"My sister; I do not know what to say. Never had I believed that someone in our family would become a jackalope! I can only congratulate you and say say thank you for every soul you and your friends have brought here to the paradise of Tymor!"
"Yeah, Jane have already conquered two great evils" John giggled again, having already started to drink of the family cider made by one of Jane's brothers.
"The saver of souls; Jane!" Sue and Adva screamed.
"Jackalope, newly minted jackalope, you are a heroine and a chosen of The Silvercrowned One!"
"Protector of the valley of scissors" Adva chuckled.
"I hope that you will not stay in the paradise of Tymor forever, although you have all right to do so! Two whole pylons saved; I image as soon as Totte calms down he will bless you richly...Perhaps even give you Mrs Wild's former job!"
"I have some free passes to the tower of Centzon Totochin, vertebral column of The Silvercrowned One, if you are interested" Sue said.
"Aren't your parents famous because of their hats and idols?" John continued, laughing openly now.
"I think I will become a part of your family quite easily; all I ever wanted was to help souls and that seems to be what this family wants even as mortals!"
"We have two jackalopes in the family now!" somebody exclaimed (Jane could not quite make out who).
"Two cheers for my sister and my wife!" Alex loudly shouted in return.
"Let us feast!"
And two cheers were given, and cake and ale eaten.
Thus I end my endless scribbling
Bid my pen to end its travels
Computers may stay computing
Endless rows of ones and zeros
But hands they cannot move forever
Dearly do they love their resting
And remember, my beloved
Seasons do not last forever
And these seasons keep on spinning
To fill ponds again with water
Therefore stay your hand when needed
Now is time to take my legend
Roll it in a ball for printing
Safety within my archives
Other people have their stories
Tales and legends they do murmur
And as I am taught by earth-soil
I leave now your ears to others
While their teeth are still unclenched, ya?
Be this as it may, my people,
Now you know the truth of death-realms
Know the truth of roads and secrets
And the hope of the departed