Year 845
Verena's POV
It's been almost a year since Levi and I met. We've grown to be good friends- well, in my opinion we have. I still don't think Levi's ready to admit that I've managed to get close to him. For the last two months, we have been preparing for a large expedition beyond the walls, the second one since my first expedition as a Squad Leader. Earlier this week, the entire regiment made the long journey to one of our bases near Shiganshina, and since then, we have been doing nothing but formation practice and 3-D maneuver gear training. We will not be getting any new recruits until after this expedition, so it will be just Levi, Markus, Hanna, and I. As the day of departure grows closer, I can become more and more nervous.
***
I sit on the roof, gazing up at the night sky. The stars shine brightly in the darkness, and even though the moon is just a sliver in the sky, it does, too. There are no clouds drifting across the vast expanse of deep blue up above. It is a perfectly clear night. The world around me seems to be hushed. The only noise is the breeze whistling through the trees. It rustles my hair as it moves past me, and I smile.
"What are you doing up here?"
I am startled by the familiar voice, and I whip around. Levi is standing there. He is clad in a plain white shirt and black pants. It is one of the rare times I have seen him out of uniform.
"Oh...Well, I come up here sometimes. It's peaceful," I admit. He makes his way over and takes a seat beside me. I turn to him and smile. "What are you doing up here, Levi?"
"Like you said...It's peaceful." He peers up at the sky, and the silvery moonlight makes his eyes shine. His gaze shifts to me and he asks, "So, are you ready for tomorrow?"
I hesitate, thinking about tomorrow- the short journey to Shiganshina, and the expedition to follow. I can feel a wave of anxiety rush over me, and my palms become slick with sweat. "Yeah, I'm ready," I say, trying to hide my nervousness. My voice breaks, and Levi notices.
"Is something wrong?"
I avoid his gaze. "Well, I'm just a little nervous."
"Why?"
"This is a big expedition. I know the last one went fine, but the one before that..."
"That's not going to happen again. Markus and Hanna have been on an expedition since that time, and they did fine." He pauses for a moment before adding, "And those two brats have been trained well...by you."
"Still, I just-"
He gives me a hard look, narrowing his eyes. "Are you doubting yourself?" I don't answer. I glance at him, and then glance away. "Well, you shouldn't. You're a damn good leader." Levi lets out a sigh as he pushes himself up again. I look up at him. "Come on. We both need to get some rest." He holds out his hand to me, and I take it. Levi helps me up, but he doesn't let go right away. Our fingers are touching lightly, and it sends a shock through my body. I can feel my heart begin to race, and all I want to do is hold his hand like that for the rest of the night. Suddenly, Levi pulls his hand away and turns to head back down into the building. "Let's go before you try to convince me to stay up here all night with you." I giggle softly as I walk over to the door with him and back down the stairs.
Pulling my hair back, I tie the black ribbon around it to keep it in place. My hands work quickly to pull on my boots and finish fixing the straps on my gear. Looking myself over in the mirror, I smile. "Perfect." My hair sways gently as I turn to put on my green cloak. I button it closed and head out the door. Making my way down to the stables, I meet up with Markus and Hanna. Hanna smiles and waves to me as she comes over.
"Good morning, Squad Leader," she greets me cheerfully. Hanna has found her courage since her first expedition, and she's adopted the mindset of a Scout. I am very proud of her.
"Good morning, Hanna, Markus," I say kindly as we walk down the dirt path.
Markus yawns and nods to me. "Hi," he mumbles sleepily.
"Markus didn't get much sleep last night," Hanna informs me.
I raise an eyebrow at him. "Oh? Why not?"
"Levi kept getting up to fix his bed. He kept saying something about the bedding needing to be cleaned," Markus grumbles, rolling his eyes. He looks over at me. "What is his deal with dirt?"
"I'm not entirely sure. I've never asked him. It may have something to do with his time in the Underground, or maybe something else in his past. Who knows?"
"Well, it's really annoying when you share a bunk with him."
Hanna looks up at Markus. "I would take Levi any day over Hanji."
"Hanji's not that bad," I say as we come up to the stables. We all retrieve our horses, mounting them.
Hanna rolls her eyes as she rides over to me. "Yeah, that's what you think."
"Hey, where's Levi?" Markus blurts out, glancing at us.
"Over here, brat." Levi rides over, narrowing his eyes at Markus.
I flash him a small smile and then say, "Glad you could make it. Come on. We leave for Shiganshina in a few minutes."
The bell rings loudly, echoing in my ears even after we've left the safety of Wall Maria. The rumbling of the gate opening is deafening. I shift uncomfortably in the saddle. Levi glances over at me. Turning his gaze back to the path ahead, he says, "Stop being so nervous."
I smile at him, a nervous kind of smile. "Is that an order?"
He looks to me, unamused. "It'll be fine."
The loud clang rings out, and I feel my heart race.
Commander Shadis's command is loud and clear, "All troops...Forward!"
I snap the reins, and Shasta shoots forward. Her hooves pound the stone as she races through the gate and out into the land beyond the wall. The sunlight hits me, warming my skin. Warm wind whips past me, and I smile wide. All around me, there are plains of grass rolling on and on forever without any end in sight. There are no walls out here. No limits. I feel free, like I'm flying. As the feeling of elation swells within me, a memory resurfaces, and I let the wave of nostalgia crash over me.
***
Erwin sits outside my cabin with me, leaning against the railing I'm sitting on. The bugs swarm around the lanterns that glow dimly in the shadows. I glance up at the sky for a moment before smiling. Erwin looks up at me, his blue eyes clouded. He's got that look on his face again.
Turning to him, I ask, "What is it?"
"Tomorrow night, when we have to choose...Which branch do you think you'll pick?"
I furrow my brows. "Where is this coming from, Erwin?"
"You were third in the class, Verena. You could join the Military Police," he says.
I laugh loudly, loud enough to wake up the rest of the trainees sleeping inside the cabin. "Yeah like I want to be one of those good-for-nothing bastards," I snort.
Erwin gives me a serious look. "Then, which branch?"
I grow serious and give him a hard look. "I'm joining the Survey Corps."
"Why? Wouldn't it be safer to be in with the MPs?"
"I could ask you the same thing, Erwin!" I exclaim, remembering what he told me about his reasoning for becoming a soldier.
"You know my reason. What's yours?" he asks, pushing me for an answer.
I stare at him for a moment before I let out a small sigh. "I want to be free."
"Free? Free from what?"
"These walls! I want to see what's on the other side even if I have to kill a few titans while doing it," I tell him, grinning. I pause and turn to the sky again. "Besides, if joining the Scouts means I have a chance to help take back some of this world from them, then I'm in. I just want humanity to stop hiding in fear. I'm tired of being on the losing side all the time. I'm not a dog, so I'm not going to lay down and die like one. I'm going to fight, damn it. Even if it means I might die, I'm going to fight for humanity, fight for freedom from these walls!" I turn back to Erwin, narrowing my eyes. "I don't want to be an MP, because they are dogs, and they'll die like dogs."
Erwin smiles. I can see the spark in his blue eyes, the very same spark I saw when he was able to stay upright in his 3-D maneuver gear. "Well, I'm glad that I'll have someone I can trust there."
***
"Oi! Stop daydreaming, you idiot!"
I blink a few times, coming back to the present. Levi is gazing over at me, eyes narrowed. "We're deploying the formation. We need to break away," he tells me.
I nod, still a little dazed. "Right...Right." I shift course, and they follow me close behind. I stare ahead as we ride, quiet.
"What were you thinking about?" Levi asks suddenly.
"What do you mean?" I give him a confused look.
"You had completely zoned out. You were obviously thinking about something. What was it?"
Levi's POV
Verena blinks twice, still looking dazed. "I was just remembering something. It wasn't anything important," she replies. After a moment, she smiles at me, seemingly returning to normal. "Sorry about that. It won't happen again."
"Just try not to do that when a titan's around. I don't want you getting yourself killed," I say, looking ahead again. I realized what I said almost instantly, and I hope she doesn't notice. Thankfully, Verena is in her own little world and has barely registered what I said.
"Uh-huh. Yeah," she mumbles, gazing off into the distance.
"Tch. Verena! What did I just-"
"Look over there," she says, cutting me off. She's pointing to something off in the distance, and I can't make out what she's looking at at first. A group of birds fly out of the trees a couple hundred meters away from us, clearly startled by something. Then, a large body comes running out from the trees, its arms swinging back and forth as it runs. The titan doesn't come for us though. It runs back the way we came, completely ignoring us.
"What the hell is it doing?" I mutter, watching it suspiciously.
"Wait, where's it going?" Markus asks, glancing back at the titan and then at Verena and me.
"I have no idea. It looks almost like it might be heading back towards Shiganshina," Verena says.
"That's weird," Hanna comments.
Verena shrugs. "Oh well. It's probably an abnormal. Besides it's not the first titan to go near the wall. I wouldn't worry about it too much."
I stare after the titan until I can't see it anymore. Still...I've never seen anything like that happen before.
So far, we have not had any run-ins with titans. At least, we haven't. Red flares did sprout up every now and then, but we changed course quickly, and the matter was either resolved by that or the squads near the damn thing. Dark clouds have begun to roll in, and I start to get an uneasy feeling. I glance over at Verena, and I can tell by the look on her face that she is, too.
"Rain?"
Verena glances at the sky. "Maybe."
The sun has disappeared by the dark clouds, leaving the world in shadow.
"What's wrong with rain?" Hanna inquires, looking bewildered.
Verena glances at her over her shoulder. "Well, if it gets too foggy or there's heavy rainfall, we won't be able to see the flare signals, let alone a couple meters in front of us."
"Which means fighting titans becomes an almost impossible task," I add, remembering my first expedition. Images of Isabel and Farlan resurface, and I quickly try to bury the memories of them again.
"That's not good," Markus says quietly.
Verena shakes her head. "No, it's not."
We ride in silence, glancing at the sky every now and then. The clouds have grown darker, and I know there's no avoiding it. All we can do is hope that it's not as bad as last time. After a few minutes of nervous anticipation, the first few raindrops fall. The rain comes on slow and steady. We all pull our hoods up.
"It doesn't seem to be picking up," Verena points out.
"Yeah...That's good," I mumble, looking at the sky. The rain falls lightly. It's not enough to blind us, but it's enough to soak us. I can feel the cool water already soaking through my cloak. I frown, feeling uncomfortable. Verena takes notice and smiles.
"What? You don't like getting wet?"
"Not really."
She laughs. "You're like a cat, Levi." Suddenly, I green flare shoots into the sky ahead of us and to our right. "We're shifting to the right. If I remember correctly from the maps Erwin showed me, that will bring us closer to a forest. Levi, pass on the signal."
I nod and load a green flare. Shooting it into the sky, I watch as the green smoke snakes upward. We shift our course, and I get an odd feeling, almost like apprehension. Something just feels off. I look over at Verena. Her hair is back up in its ponytail, and it whips in the wind. Her green eyes are narrowed, focused straight ahead. Her lips are pressed together tightly, and I can see her gripping the reins. She feels it, too.
Verena's POV
Perhaps it's the rain bringing up bad memories, but something just doesn't feel right. I grip the reins tightly, feeling my stomach twist into knots. The green grass gives way to a dirt path as we come upon the forest, riding alongside it. The trees to our left stretch high into the sky. Shadows in the forest hide the creatures lurking inside. I think about Levi's first expedition, and I start to feel more and more uneasy. Stop getting yourself all worked up. It's not going to do you any good.
The rain picks up a little, but we can still see. It beats down on us, and I can feel my cloak growing heavy as it soaks up more and more rainwater. The rain turns the ground to mud, and Shasta's hooves kick up some as she runs. It lands on my boots and pants, smudging on them. I glance at Levi, and I can see a blotch of mud on his pants already. He's probably throwing a fit on the inside right now.
"Squad Leader!" Hanna's outburst startles me, and I crane my neck to look at her. She's gazing into the forest where a titan is lumbering around between the trees, coming closer and closer to the edge of forest. "It's got to be at least ten meters. Probably more," she says, her eyes widening.
"Should we engage?" Markus asks.
I am about to tell him no, to just pick up the pace a little and keep moving, but then I see a plume of gas between the trees. A soldier pops out from behind a tree trunk and is heading straight to the titan. Four other Scouts follow right behind him. "Let's make sure they don't need any help first," I say, turning and heading for the forest. We ride over and just as we reach the treeline, the titan snatches one of the soldiers out of the air and brings it slowly up to its mouth. One of the other Scouts goes to save him, but it's too late. The titan bites the young man in two. Blood splashes on the titan's face.
Markus grimaces, "Should we switch to 3-D maneuver gear, Squad Leader?"
"Yes."
I am up on the saddle in an instant, rage coursing through my veins. Without a moment of hesitation, I am in the air and heading straight for the titan. Drawing my blades, I narrow my eyes. The remaining four Scouts encircle the titan, each one of them taking turns slashing at it, avoiding its hands and mouth. Two are grabbed and devoured before I can even reach them. Levi comes up beside me, his blades drawn. Behind him, Hanna and Markus are raring for a fight. "You bastard," I hiss as we come up to the titan. Its wide eyes focus on me as I come down hard on its hand, which has snatched one of the last two soldiers. Four of the titan's fingers fall to the ground, allowing the soldier to escape. She quickly gets up, pulls the trigger on her hand grips, and is safely on a tree branch in seconds. Glancing around, I catch sight of the other Scout. He's heading deeper into the forest, avoiding another titan that had appeared from the brush.
"Levi! I'm going after the other titan! You guys take care of this one!"
"Wait!"
Before he can object, I head after the smaller titan as it chases the other Scout through the forest. I fly up behind its head, but it doesn't take notice of me. We come into a clearing, and rain pelts me. Gripping my blades, I prepare to strike its nape. "Hey! Over here!" I twist in the air, but before I can go for the nape, a large hand pops out from behind a tree and grabs me out of the air. I feel the air being pushed from my lungs as the titan grips my body tightly. Pain erupts all over my body as it squeezes me. I can't move my arms. Oh no! The titan's face appears from the shadows. Its mouth hangs open, and I can feel its warm breath. I begin to struggle frantically, but my efforts are futile. The monster has too tight a grip on me. I kick my legs as it moves me closer to its mouth. "No...No! I don't want to die like this!" I scream. My right foot slides between the titan's teeth, while my left kicks at its face. The titan briefly loosens its grip, and I sit up quickly. As it pushes my right leg deeper into its mouth, I push against its face, trying my hardest to free myself. "Let...Me...Go!" I swing my arm back, digging my blade into its cheek. The titan's eyes go to me, and without warning, it bites down hard on my leg. Warm blood splashes my face, and my body goes numb. At first, I can't seem to feel anything, but then, all at once, the pain hits me like a lightning strike. My nerves scream in agony, and a pained scream rips through my throat, echoing off the trees. I toss my head back, my eyes squeezed shut. I scream and scream until my throat is raw. The titan grips me again, pulling me away from its mouth briefly. "Why?! Why won't you just eat me already?!" I screech in agony.
I open my eyes for a moment. I can see the sky above. The dark clouds remind me of nighttime, and I remember how the full moon looked that night Levi and I laid in the grass and looked at the sky. Why am I remembering that? I can feel the titan start to move his hand closer to his mouth again. I am about to close my eyes, giving up, when I see a flash of green. My eyes open wide as Levi appears above me. He spins as he slashes the titan's wrist, severing its hand. Then, suddenly, I am falling. I watch Levi as he moves swiftly through the air. He slices the nape open with skill. I close my eyes as the titan's hand hits the ground hard, sending a jolt through me. I can feel the blood pouring out of my wound. I can feel my heartbeat slowing down, and my body growing colder. Then, I feel a pair of arms around me, pulling me out of the titan's hand. Opening my eyes slowly. I look up at Levi. His expression is unreadable, but when I look in his eyes, I can see a look of worry in them.
Levi's POV
I hold Verena close to me. Her body is light. Her pale face is covered in her own blood. She gazes up at me. I brush the stray hairs out her face, and she reaches up to take my hand. Giving it a weak squeeze, she says softly, "I...I think I'm going to die."
"Don't say that, you idiot," I tell her in a low tone. I look down at her right leg. The titan bit it off just below the knee. Blood is pooling on the grass, and more is still pouring out. I feel my heart sink. "Just need to stop the bleeding." I turn back to her. "You need to stay awake, Verena."
Her eyes are already starting to close. "But...I don't know if I can..."
I shake her a little bit. "No, no, no. Stay awake, damn it!" Verena's eyes open slightly, but then they start to close again. "Verena! Verena!" Her eyes close, and she doesn't respond. Her breathing has become shallow, and she looks incredibly pale. I picture Isabel's severed head, and Farlan's upper body. I can feel tears in my eyes, but I hold them back. My throat begins to tighten. I grip Verena's hand tightly and lean forward. Resting my forehead on hers, I whisper, "You can't die on me. That's an order."
Verena's POV
A raindrops fall lightly on the earth. I feel hard, wooden boards beneath my back. Where am I? Am I...Am I in a wagon? The sound of someone yelling can be heard over the sound of the rushing wind. I recognize Commander Shadis's voice, but I cannot make out what he's saying. I strain my ears, but then he goes silent. Suddenly, the wagon begins to pick up speed, bumping along the rough terrain. I clutch at the drenched cloak draped over me as my once peaceful rides takes a turn for the worst. My back slams against the wooden boards, and I groan loudly. No one hears me over the loud roar echoing in the distance. I recognize it instantly. Titan.
***
My eyes open slowly. It takes a minute for my vision to come into focus, but when it does, I see a room I don't recognize. I take a quick glance around. The plaster on the walls is chipping away in several places, revealing the red brick underneath it. The floorboards are scuffed, and on the bedside table there are several bottles with various labels. Suddenly, the door across from the bed I'm in opens, and young nurse walks in. She smiles and says, "It's good to see that you've finally woken up."
Levi's POV
I lean against the wall, my arms folded over my chest. I stare at the floor, my eyes narrowed. How the hell could this have happened? What if she doesn't make it? I can feel the wave of anxiety crash down on me again and again, sweeping me under. My heart pounds in my chest, and all I can do is think about Verena...And what happened. I let out a shaky breath. She'll be fine. She always is...But what if this time she's not? I go round and round with myself, going back and forth for a long time. I tap my fingers on my arm, and glance down the hall.
"What's taking that shitty nurse so long?" I mutter, scowling.
I hear footsteps and turn to see Erwin walking down the hall towards me. He's holding a few files under his arm, and he's got a hard expression on his face. He stops, looking down at me.
"Any news?" he asks.
"No." I turn away from him, looking down at the ground again.
There's a long moment of silence before Erwin says, "She'll be alright, you know."
I look up at him again. "What?"
"Verena's a strong person. She wouldn't die so easily."
I glance down the hall. "She better not."
The door down the hall suddenly opens, and the nurse slips out, closing it behind her. Pushing myself off the wall, I stand up straight as she comes over to us. She smiles wide.
"She's awake. You can go and see her if you want. Try not to overwhelm her though. She's still pretty exhausted," she tells us. With that, she moves around us and walks away. Without saying anything to Erwin, I hurry down the hall to Verena's room.
Erwin's POV
I gaze at Levi as he moves quickly to Verena's room. The worried expression on his face before...I haven't seen him this upset since... I remember Isabel and Farlan briefly. I narrow my eyes. I wonder...
Verena's POV
The door swings open again, and I think it might be the nurse again, but when I look up, I see Levi closing the door and walking over. He stands beside the bed, staring down at me. I peer up at him, my hands kneading into the blankets. We hold each other's gaze for a long time. Then, everything hits me all at once, and I begin to cry. Levi leans down, and I grab onto him, clutching his sleeves tightly. I sob into his shoulder. I feel his hands lightly grip my arms. He doesn't pull away, and he doesn't say anything, but it is the best comfort I can have.