Audrey-
"Now, I'm going out with some friends. I won't be back til later. You know what will happen if you try and leave. So don't even fucking thing about it. Got it?" Andy said.
I looked at the floor and nodded.
"I said, GOT IT?" He pushed my face up so I'd look at him.
"Y-yes." I stammered. He slapped me across the face and walked out, slamming the door shut.
That. That was Andy. My boyfriend. Unfortunately.
He wasn't always like this. He used to be super sweet, caring, funny, everything a girl could have wanted. But that was 2 years ago. Yeah, 2 years. We've been dating for 3. I met him when I was 16, him 17. We were best friends for a year before he asked me to be his girlfriend. He was perfect. But everything changed the day I turned 18. I moved in with him a week after my birthday. He started getting controlling, and he was extremely bipolar. After a few months he started getting angry at me for the littlest thing. And that eventually resulted in him getting so angry, he would take out all his anger on me...physically.
He stopped letting me out of the house. And he deleted all my contacts on my phone, and changed my number, so I can't reach anyone, and nobody can reach me.
I still have Facebook, but anything I post, or message anyone, he sees because he knows my password, and will hurt me if I change it. Same thing with Twitter, and Tumblr. I have no privacy.
And my parents, they love him. So they think everything is okay, and every time they call, I have to say I'm okay and that I'd visit them soon, even though it won't happen anytime soon. Andy won't let me.
I miss them so much.
I miss everyone.
I never had much friends, but I had a few that I was really close with.
Like my best friends besides Andy. Katie, and Victoria. I haven't talked to them since my 18th birthday.
Coming out of my thoughts, I decided to take a bath. It was well needed. Andy had been screaming at me all day, and I have anxiety. I just needed to relax.
I made my way upstairs and into our bathroom, turning on the warm water to get the bath going. Then I went to our room and picked out some PJ's even though it was only about 6:30 in the evening. It's not like I'd be going anywhere...
I grabbed some underguardments, some Soffee shorts, and a Pierce The Veil t-shirt that was a bit too big for me.
Then I made my way to the bathroom. The bath had filled up half way, so I undressed and got in, just sitting there, waiting for it to fill all the way up.
Once it had, I sat in the warm bubbly water just thinking.
I thought about how my life used to be. I had few friends, but I was happy.
I had a loving boyfriend. A nice house with my parents.
I had a stable job at a small cafe. I was friends with many of the usual customers., and had a great relationship with my boss, David.
I had my cat, Romeo, don't judge, he was quite the charmer. But my mother had called me months ago telling me he passed away.
Notice the key word "had" I have none of that now.
I realized I was crying, and I broke out into a fit of sobs.
I needed out. I needed real love. I want to be kissed again.
Sure, Andy kisses me, but it's forceful, and I don't love him anymore. It's not filled with with anything but sexual abuse. He never hugged me anymore. He uses me for sex and abuses me. Mentally and physically. He calls me fat, ugly, and worthless all the time. He used to call me beautiful, and perfect, everything a girl would want to hear.
But I'm nothing but a toy to him now.
My crying had ceased.
At this moment, I had vowed to myself that I would get out of here. Not today. But soon. I can keep living like this.
About a half an hour later I got out of the bath, dressed in my night clothes and made my way to the spare bedroom. I usually slept in here to get away from Andy.
I slipped into the bed and turned on the TV. I flipped through channels until I found something that I would want to watch.
Criminal Minds. My favorite show, Andy thought it was stupid.
But my it was my lucky day. Criminal Minds Marathon!!!!
My favorite was Reed. He was such a dorky, cute man.
I was watching Criminal Minds for about 3 hours before I fell asleep, and when I woke up the clock read 11:45 PM
I was starving. I went downstairs to the kitchen and pulled out the pancake mix and made blueberry chocolate chip pancakes, with bacon and eggs, sunny side up. I had made enough for me and Andy. And I know what you're thinking, "Why the fuck would you make amazing food for someone so horrible?!"
Well, It used to be his favorite. I used to cook for him all the time, but now he's never around to eat what I make. So I decided to save some for him. Maybe it will put him in a better mood, and he wont hit me.
Once I had finished eating my plate of food, I placed the leftovers nicely on a plate and put it on the stove. Then I decided I'd leave a little note with it. The note said,
"Andy, I miss how we used to be. I'm sorry for whatever I did to make you act this way towards me. I miss my best friend/boyfriend back in junior year. And I know this used to be your favorite, enjoy.
♥ Audrey."
I made my way upstairs and back into the guest bedroom and laid in bed thinking again.
What if the note upsets him and he hits me again?
Thinking about these things always makes me upset.
I had silent tears running sideways down my face. And I cried myself to sleep for the 6th time that week.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I had woken up to the sound of the front door opening and closing. I lie awake, but didn't move. I knew it was Andy. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs, making their way to out bedroom. I heard Andy scream a line of profanity before slamming the door shut.
Then I heard his foot steps coming toward the spare room, the room I was in. I quickly closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep.
Andy swung the door open, and when he saw me sleeping, he sighed and shut the door. He went back downstairs and into the kitchen.
About 20 minutes later, I heard him coming back upstairs.
The door opened and I got scared. I was still pretending to be asleep.
I heard a sob escape his lips. Then it was silent.
I was confused, but still scared.
Then I felt the bed dip beside me.
Andy's arms wrapped around me waist, and pulled me close to him. He was sobbing into the pillow.
"A-Andy?" I whispered.
"Audrey. I-I'm so sorry!!! For everything. I"m such an ass! I don't know why I acted this way. I'm so sorry I hurt you. So, so sorry!" He choked out and pulled me closer.
I ran my fingers through his hand and shushed him, saying it would be alright.
I didn't forgive him. I couldn't.
He pulled away, and lifted my face up to his.
"I'm serious. I"m so sorry." He whispered.
Then he kissed me.
I felt sorrow in the kiss. But it wasn't forceful. It was gentle, like he meant it.
I liked having the feeling again, but I didn't want it. But I gave in, leading him on in a way.
My plan had worked better than I thought it would. Maybe he would act this way from now on, giving me back my freedom, letting me go out places by myself.
I'd use that to escape.
I wasn't staying here anymore. I NEEDED to get away.
The depression was eating me under.
He pulled away and kissed my cheek.
"Goodnight beautiful." He whispered.
"Goodnight Andy."
And we fell asleep together, for the first time in 2 years.