15
Andy didn't reappear until well into the following day. He entered the house clearly agitated. My grandmother happened to be watering the plants in the windows near the side door where he entered, and took full advantage of the opportunity to study him from head to foot.
Normally they would make every attempt to avoid one another, but she managed to greet him with the fond, cold formality I'd grown accustomed to. And despite her disapproval of nearly everything about him, she was able to tell him civilly that his room was finally ready. He had been staying in the room Beverly and I put together, but Nana's pride wouldn't permit a guest staying in any version of ad hoc space, and spent the last few days hastening the refurbishment of another room to completion.
"Thanks," he answered at the same time I entered, and Andy eyed me expressively. "That'll help."
She glared at him, not even trying to comprehend his meaning. "You're an odd duck, you know that?"
"So I've heard." He answered indifferently, clearly distracted. He blinked back to me, and with what looked like a tic in his neck, signaled toward the staircase.
"What's wrong with you?" I frowned.
"You're down the hall from Tabitha," Nana continued, looking back and forth between us with an expression of mixed disinterestedness and perplexity.
"Marvelous. Tabby-Kat, you wanna show me?"
"Why are you twitching, did you sleep on a bench?" He grabbed my arm, pulling me urgently up the stairs. "Ow!" I said as he practically threw me into the room and slammed the door. "What is your problem?" He didn't look around, didn't appreciate any of the detail in the décor, or that this room had an actual bed rather than a mattress on the floor.
"I'm in trouble." He said, panic written all over him.
"Andy, you showed up in trouble, what else could you have accomplished in four days?" I rubbed my arm. "Oh God, is this like when you kidnapped the mascot from M.U. and posted pictures of it doing obscene things?"
"Way worse. I was hanging out with Doug, right? And he's cool and all, so we went to a party last night and I met a bunch of his friends. They were cool too, and we started playing poker, and before I knew what was happening, I was writing I.O.U.'s like I was a Rockefeller. I kept thinking I'd come around again in the next hand, and it just. wouldn't. happen."
"Are you serious?"
"No, I'm making this up because it's hilarious. See how I'm laughing?" He said, letting his hands fall. "I was winning at first. And then I lost track of how much I had won, so when I started losing I figured I would just break even in the end. And then I started going deeper and deeper." He sat down on the edge of the bed, hanging his head and wringing his hands. "I'm so screwed, Tab. All I wanted to do was win enough to fly out to Vegas and get Thumper to bring her home."
I stood in the middle of the room still unconsciously rubbing my arm. "This can't be right, they weren't playing for real money, were they?"
"You know of a lot of wealthy people who play for Monopoly money?"
"What are we going to do?" I said, trying to think of the fastest, easiest solution, "You'll have to borrow it from Nana."
"Are you insane? I'm not borrowing anything from Nana. I'd have my hands lopped off first."
"They might arrange that." I inhaled, "Maybe they'll forget!"
"Who are you?"
He was right. I don't know what I was thinking. "How much?" I asked.
"A lot."
"How much?" I repeated.
"Don't tell dad. Promise?"
"No."
He sighed. "About fifteen thousand dollars."
"fifteen thousand dollars?! Where did you think you were going to get fifteen thousand dollars?!"
"I didn't! I didn't realize!
"Tabithaaaaa," Beverly sang from the second floor, "your grandmother is waaaaiting"
"There might've been more but they had me doing shots until I passed out."
"How much more? How can you play poker if you're passed out? How're you still alive? Don't you feel like hell?" I looked him over. "You look like it."
"I don't know, Doug just said he saw me with my face on the table so he dragged me over to a couch until I sobered up enough to walk back to his place. I don't know anything after that."
"Ta-Bi-Tha!" Beverly's voice was more pressing now.
"Don't move," I said to Andy, "don't leave this house."
"I have to! I'm supposed to meet Doug."
"For what? Tell him you can't!"
"He told me there was a restaurant I have to try while I'm here."
"You're going out to dinner when you're fifteen thousand dollars in the hole and there's probably people looking for you? Because that sounds really brilliant, Andy."
"Well you said to be wealthy and vague. I think I've pulled off the wealthy part, and if I've gotta maintain 'vague' I can't exactly come clean with him, can I?"
"I didn't say to come clean, just...just stay here until we figure out what we're going to do." I turned to leave and stopped again. "I'm really sorry I got you involved in this, Andy."
He waved me off, falling back onto the bed. "I should've known you'd find a way to blame yourself. Go."
I ran down the steps to my grandmother's anxiously awaiting nurse. "Sorry Bev, just getting Andy settled in."
"Your grandmother is very impatient tonight."
"I know, I know. Kinda makes me wonder what she did before I got here."
"Before you got here her social program was much more sedate, I can tell you." She remonstrated.
I followed her to the 'pink drawing room', one of the yet-to-be redecorated spaces that had the unique ability to brag of a satin couch and innumerable hand painted porcelain cats, where Nana held most of her gatherings. The frequent use of it lately is the main reason for its inaccessibility to renovation.
Tonight was euchre, and the only reason she actually needed me there was because Mrs. Josephine was sick so they needed a fourth. I never even fully grasped how to play, since most of their time was occupied in talking while just holding their cards rather than playing them, but she refused to start without me.
It was sad for Mrs. Jenning that she was always forced to be my partner, though it had to be because she didn't have any more skill at the game than I. We never won, but she never complained. She never really said or did anything, just sat with her elbows tucked into her corpulent sides, listening to the observations of my grandmother and Mrs. Landon.
Mrs. Landon, Mira's grandmother, was much the opposite of Mrs. Jenning in both size and demeanor. She was also very likely the gossip-monger keeping my grandmother so well informed. Within only a few minutes, she smoothly expressed and transitioned between a verbal restructuring of her gift wrapping room, to a reproach of the way women dress for the beach (in particular that cousin visiting the Stanhope's down the street), to wholehearted agreement with Nana that her nurse was stealing her medications.
"Tabitha!" Nana glowered at me, "Will you relax! If your knee doesn't stop bouncing this table I swear I'll tie you to that chair!"
The evening was doomed. While exerting the greatest effort to keep my knee still, I would inadvertently start drumming my fingers, and receive the wickedest glare from my grandmother. All I could think about now was Andy.
"I hope, Rose," said Mrs. Landon, rolling her eyes from my face to my grandmothers, "you intend to bring Tabitha to this year's Black and White. It would be such a shame for her to miss it." She turned to me, hiding her cards in her neck "You just have to see the fabulous way they deck the place out! Always beautiful, no matter where they are! And I've heard they plan to have it here this year! The Castlereagh Country Club is sponsoring, you know, and you remember what happened the last time someone tried to hold an event at the C.C.C.! Though I daresay when Harlan and Darling Casey are in charge of something, they get what they want."
"Here?" Nana exclaimed, "I thought the plan was for the Plaza."
"No, no, I spoke with Darling last week. She wanted the name of that florist I used for my little Cara's wedding last year. She promised I wouldn't need to go far, that they decided they must stay here this year." She put up her chin, reveling in her superior knowledge.
Nana nodded, studying her cards. "Tabitha," she said, "We'll go to see Michelle. She did a lovely job with your other things, particularly that linen sundress. I would only trust her with your gown."
"My gown?" I asked, realizing I was a part of the conversation, "for what?"
"For the Casey's Black and White Gala, haven't you been listening? They hold a fundraiser every year, and Harlan is passing the whole thing on to his sons this year. I've been on the list for decades but I can never stir myself to go now that your grandfather is gone. This year, you will go with me." She turned her attention once again to her friends, bored with my ignorance. "You think Michelle will be available, don't you Laine?"
"Not a chance!" Mrs. Landon cackled. "I already know three people who have spoken to her and Darling herself is one of them. It would be a miracle if she accepted you alone, forget about the both of you."
"Still," Nana said meditatively, "I think I'll try."
"Mrs. Theodore, I hate to interrupt." Beverly's voice came from the doorway and she was taking pains to appear unaffected by the information she had to impart. "There's a visitor for Tabitha in the library."
"Tell them she's busy!" She growled without looking up from her cards.
"I believe it might be rather important?"
"I don't care if it's the President of the United States, she's busy!"
Nana cocked an eyebrow at me then, half-interested in who it could be, and decided my distracted presence was more of a frustration than it was worth. "Oh fine!" She relented, "She's all but useless here anyway. What do you say, ladies? Do we take a break?"
They rose from the card table so they could be more comfortable in the cushioned chairs circling a spread of desserts and homemade sangria, and I couldn't bring myself to feel even an ounce of remorse at the relief of leaving them, knowing they were far better off.
Before I'd completely closed the door behind me, I overheard Mrs. Landon say, "I don't argue, Rose, that it does her a lot of good to be seen with Haven, but don't you think she's aiming a little high?"
"What exactly do you think she's aiming to do?" Nana answered, "I suppose you'd prefer him always at your Mira's doorstep. Well, I don't think Tabitha has any idea of the stir she's created, and I don't mean to tell her. I've heard it from more than one mouth that it's her unknowing attitude opening all the doors, and I have no intention of letting her lose that." I stood there for a moment, absorbing what they said, and could only conclude that it was nothing more than a couple of old ladies trying to outdo one another by succumbing to a natural tendency to brag about their grandchildren. Mrs. Landon might want Mira to have anything her heart desired, even if that meant Haven Casey, but I couldn't imagine how I could be thrown in with his panting groupies.
I trod slowly down the hall to the library where, immediately upon opening the door, I was accosted by Jack. He frolicked in joyful circles at my feet, his scrawny hindquarters craving to jump up but submitting to the demand of previous authority, was satisfied wagging his tail and standing between my knees. Haven leaned his shoulders against the mantelpiece on the far end of the room.
"Beverly thinks I plan to leave him here." He grinned. "They instantly disliked one other."
"He shouldn't be here. If my grandmother knew..."
"I know. But I told you I would see you today, and then I remembered tonight was some sort of card-party. I thought you might've been roped in, so we decided to very rudely interrupt."
"Oh my God, yes!" I said unguardedly, "They kept talking about some party, and gowns, but all I could think ab-" I froze, likely with a deer-in-headlights look on my face. I almost just slipped; almost told him everything. Then I remembered that was what I wanted to talk to him about.
Haven had become someone I wanted to confide in, someone whose advice I needed. But I couldn't suppress the feeling that he was the very person I had to hide from, and it was beginning to cause me every type of pain.
"What?" he asked, studying me.
"Nothing, just...nothing." I smiled, making an attempt to appear at ease, "I just meant thank you, I've been stuck in there for an hour."
A crease formed between his brows. "You were going to say something." He teased.
"I wasn't. I'm just glad you're here." I reverted to pulling affectionately at Jack's ear.
"Tabitha, why can't you bring yourself to trust me?" He said unexpectedly.
I looked up then. "I...I do" I said uncertainly, but trying my best to sound as indifferent and confident as possible. I turned to Jack again to hide my face. "I have your sweatshirt for you. I washed it." I sleep in it every night, but wash it every morning just in case you want it back.
"Keep it." He said, a marked shortness in his tone now, "I wanted to tell you I'll be leaving in the morning."
I looked up at that. "You're leaving? For how long?"
"At the least a few days, at most a week or so."
"Huh." My chest tightened and there was an irrepressible roaring in my head. I didn't want him to go anywhere. I wanted to exist in the bubble I'd created for us, and never let anything else in. I wanted him all to myself, forever.
"Something wrong?"
"No, no, nothing." I exhaled. "Going someplace fun?" Suck it up Tabby, he's not yours. He'll never be yours.
"Probably not. I have some business I need to attend to. Plus I've got to hunt down that photographer from the park the other day."
"Oh," I uttered, and wondered why it was so important to him not to be seen with me. Was I so disgraceful?
"I'll have Greenleigh look after Jack."
I ruminated for a moment, and finally sat back on my heels, finding a sliver of resolve. "I, um, I might not be here when you get back. I was thinking of going home." I said it, and as the air left my lungs I felt entirely deflated.
"Why?" He asked, his eyes penetrating.
"I...just am. I need to go."
"You're just gonna leave. It's that easy?" The edge in his voice was getting sharper. "Because I promise you I'm having a hard time making myself go."
"What do you want from me? I don't live here, this...this isn't me. It has nothing to do with you." I scowled, "Besides, you're the one leaving. I'm just following suit."
"Yes, but I'm coming back. Are you?"
I didn't respond immediately. Haven observed me for a few short moments in searching deliberation. "No," I finally answered, "I'm not." It was better this way. I needed to cut myself off from him, he didn't have to know everything.
He took a half-step, reaching out with an impulsive hand, and dropped it. He opened his mouth as if to say something and stopped before he even inhaled. In that split-second, I wanted to jump up and run into his arms. I wanted to feel him, his warmth, his skin. Instead, I watched him without moving, and carefully committed every part of him to memory.
He sighed unexpectedly and turned. "Jack, Come!" He commanded before disappearing through the door, Jack at his heels. Jack stopped at the corner to look back at me with flattened ears and lowered tail, whining pathetically. "Jack!" Haven ordered, and Jack was compelled to obey.
He didn't even say goodbye, and I knew it was my fault. The whole thing was definitely my fault. A pang of anguish shot through me with a force that knocked me to my knees, and I tried to smother it. Tried to tell myself I was doing it for his benefit. I longed so desperately for him to never know who I truly was, and at the same time I wanted to tell him everything. And now I had no choice. I left myself with no choice.
Of course I knew I could trust him, it was me I didn't trust. I could have told him the truth any time this last week. Hell, I could have said it just now, it was like he was silently begging me to. But I didn't, and now he's gone.
No, Tabby, focus. You have to focus.
Nursing a broken heart would take more time and energy than I could survive right now. I'd have to push it aside and kick myself later. First priority, help Andy. Second priority, disappear.
I couldn't get a hold of Danni. No matter how forcefully I mentally conveyed my need for the connection, I couldn't get her. And now, try as I might, I couldn't find Andy anywhere either. I'd just reached the brink of thinking he may have actually left the house, when I finally tracked him down in the game room shooting pool with Doug.
"You never said I couldn't have Doug come here," Andy said with a roguish smile.
"Hey Doug." I said.
Doug came around the table, pool cue in hand and arms spread wide, to grace me with a friendly hug that lingered just a second too long.
Andy raised an eyebrow at that. "Don't force me to remove your limbs, Doug." He said, lining up his next shot, "I don't like you that much."
"Yeah, yeah, I've heard it before."
Andy glanced up, frowning, "Not from me,"
"Would it shock you to hear you're not the only person I know?"
"Doug, where's the closest airport?" I interjected. Andy froze and eyed me suspiciously.
"Airport? You going somewhere?"
"No, but something's come up at home and Andy has to get back. I was just trying to think of the fastest way."
Both Andy and Doug were looking at me now, Andy in total bewilderment and Doug in contemplation.
"I guess the closest one would be up at the Casey's Lodge but you can't exactly just show up there and hop on a plane. Other than that, the nearest one's about an hour train ride away."
"How would someone go about getting a flight out of the close one?"
"Um, own a plane I suppose. After you've become a member, and then gone through total screening and background checks, of course. Don't you do that stuff all the time?" he asked, undaunted. "Your pilot could figure it out."
Andy's eyes grew round; a definite and alarming signal of his eagerness to show off his own story-telling skills. "Of course. Our pilot. Yeah, we do that all the time." He said, "It's just, our, uh, our concierge, Bob, is, um, visiting his sick sister. Sister-In-law. In Peru. And our pilot, uh Joe, is, um, with him. So we're doing all our own arrangements till they get back."
I tried to catch Andy's eye, to shut him up, but he refused to look at me. Doug paid little or no attention to anything said, being far too absorbed in his game.
"Maybe sometimes you shouldn't speak." I reprimanded in my room later that night.
"What, and let you have all the fun?"
"It's not fun. This hasn't been fun." I insisted. "Okay, it started out kind of fun. But it's not anymore, so just go along with me and quit improvising!"
I received the plane ticket from Danni two days later, and I knew exactly what I would do with it. She wouldn't be very happy with me, but I had to get Andy away. I called the airline to exchange it for a flight to Nevada, and due to the price difference even after all the imposed crackpot fees, there was enough left over for a return ticket for Thumper.
"AbsoLUTEly not!" Andy said, when I told him my plan. "No."
"You have to. It's the only way to get you away so I can figure out how to settle your little problem here."
"Tabby-Kat, what kind of jackass do you think I am?" He marveled.
"The kind who loses fifteen grand that he doesn't have. To strangers. In one night. And don't think I think it's a good idea to send you directly to Las Vegas, either. I can only hope you've learned your lesson."
"What lesson am I learning if you're getting me out of it? You can't come to my rescue every time I decide to be an idiot, Tab."
"Fine! Not that I think you have any control over when you make those decisions." I stood stubbornly, hands on my hips. "Do you have a plan then? I'd love to hear it."
"I do, actually." He breathed, and scooted closer to the edge of his seat, preparing to dazzle me, "I've got some money saved up because I was going to get a house with some guys from school next year. I'll just use it to pay Fitch off, and for the rest-"
"Did you say Fitch?" I broke in.
"Yeah. He's the guy who had the party. And for the-"
"Fitch Malory?"
"I only know one person named Fitch. His last name could be Malory, why?"
"I know him." I said.
"Congratulations." He sneered. "If you're so keen on the guest list, your boyfriend Haven was there too."
"Haven was there?" I asked, appalled. "And he didn't stop you?"
"Oh, there was no stopping me by then. Besides, what reason would he have for trying to stop me from doing something he thinks I can easily afford to do?"
"True." I mused, "But wait, if you have enough money saved to pay off your debt, what are you so worried about?"
"Well if you'd quit interrupting, I'd tell you that I only owe about five hundred bucks to Malory! The rest I owe to Casey!"
I inhaled sharply. "You – Owe – Haven Casey – Fourteen thousand, five hundred dollars!?" Well I suppose that's the end of that.
"Yes! What's the difference who I owe it to?" He retorted hotly.
"Well it makes a difference to me!"
"Why? I thought you didn't give a crap about the guy!"
"I-! I don't! How, how did Haven let you end up owing him so much money?!"
"I don't know, but he was hell-bent on making sure it was him I owed by the end of the night, that's for sure."
"I can't believe– ...How could he? Why-?" I stared absently in shock at the wall. A sense of heartache, anger and crushing disappointment circulated in my brain before I resolved to shake it off. Save it for later Tabby. I had to concentrate on the most immediate problem. "Anyway, maybe I can help you."
"What do you have in mind?"
"I don't know yet, but ...well, I've become relatively close with Haven, and..." I hesitated.
"Um, I'm not sure what you're thinking," Andy said, looking at me disapprovingly. "but I have a feeling I don't like where you're headed."
"No, I mean I might actually be able to do something. Ugh, never mind. I'll take care of it. Now, go to Nevada and get Thumper. The last thing in the world I wanted was to mix you up in all this, and now I've got to get you away. I may not come out of it intact but I'll do what I can to make sure you do."
"I don't think that's such a great idea Tabby. You've seemed a little messed up the past few days. You alright?"
"I'm fine. I'll be a lot better though if I know you're out of it. You have to go.
"Come with me."
"No. How?"
"Who cares? In my opinion if we never see any of these people again, it'll be too soon."
"Don't you think one of us should stick around for a second to clean up the mess we've made?"
"No."
"And if something happens to Nana because of our actions, I suppose you'll be able to live with yourself."
"Tabby, what's going to happen? She's the scariest woman I've ever known. No one is going to mess with her."
"That may be true, but the only thing it seems she does care about is her reputation and the opinions of her friends. If both of us skip town without a word, she might have something to say about that."
"Then I'm staying with you."
"And run the risk of your getting in even more trouble and losing Thumper?"
"No," He yielded. "Fine, I'll give you one week. If you're not home by then, I'm telling dad everything, and we're coming for you."
"It won't be necessary."
"I hope you don't plan to do anything stupid."
"Hmph!" I smiled, "Wouldn't dream of it."
It took an eternity to get Andy to agree that I might be better equipped to workout a plan to repay Haven. I had another idea too. The remainder of my college fund, though not enough to get me through my last year, might be enough to makea dent in what Andy owed. I couldn't let him spend his hard earned money for something that was my doing. And I would much prefer a clean break for him even if the result is that I find myself hiding out in Madison for the rest of my life.