Verena's POV
The sound of heavy footsteps outside my door is what wakes me. I pull the blankets tighter around me, shrinking into the mattress. The bedroom door swings open, and candlelight pools in from the hall. A hulking silhouette steps into the doorway. blocking out most of the light.
"Verena...I know you're awake."
I shudder at my father's slurred voice, and I know he's been drinking again. I don't make a sound, fearful of what he might do. Squeezing my eyes shut tight, I will him to go away, to leave me alone. There's a long moment of silence, and I hear muffled footsteps. I start to think that he's left when a large hand suddenly grabs my short, ragger hair, pulling me out of bed. I scream and cry as my father drags me across the wooden floor. I kick and squirm, struggling to break free, but he's got a tight hold on my hair, and he's not letting go anytime soon. "Papa! Please stop! That hurts!" I sob, pleading with him.
"Shut your damn mouth!"
"Papa!"
With much force, he drags me into the hall and slams me against the wall. Holding my head up, he forces me to look at him. "What did I just say?" he growls, leaning in close. I can smell his bad breath, and I try not to gag.
"Papa...Please stop...It hurts," I whimper.
"Stop whining." He raises his fist above his head, and I let out a frightful scream.
I awake with a scream, bolting up in bed. I glance around the room, recognizing my sleeping quarters in the officers' building, and I let out a sigh of relief. "It was just a nightmare, Verena. No need to be scared," I mumble to myself. However, the nightmare is still fresh in my mind, and I can't get the image of my father's furious face out of my head. I swallow hard.
A cool sweat has collected on my skin, making me shiver. Slowly, I clamber out of bed and over to the open window. Peeking out, I can see the stars above. They twinkle in the sea of dark blue. Smiling softly, I close the window and quickly slip back into bed. I pull the blankets tighter around me, curling up on the mattress. "No more nightmares. You have some errands to run tomorrow, and you need your sleep." My eyes close reluctantly, and I try not to think about my nightmare as I slip back into unconsciousness.
***
The next day, I slip into my uniform and head out for the day. It's been five months since the last expedition. Markus and Hanna are still in my squad, but we haven't gotten any new recruits, so it is just us and Levi for now. I don't mind it. I actually prefer having a smaller squad. I know it may seem horrible, but the less lives that I have to feel responsible for, the better. Levi and I have grown closer. He still seems to be holding back, reluctant to admit that we've become friends, but he does trust me more and that's a start. Recently, I've found myself drawn to him, but I refuse to give into that attraction. I'm a soldier, and soldiers can't fall in love. There's too much pain in it. Besides, we haven't known each other that long. There is no way I could love Levi...Is there?
Shaking my head, I try to clear my thoughts, and I head over to the stables where a familiar face is waiting for me. Levi looks up as I come up to the stall where Shasta is waiting patiently. He is holding the large saddle bags that will be used to carry the supplies we buy today. "You look exhausted," he comments as I open the stall door.
I take hold of Shasta's reins, leading her out. Levi hands me a pair of saddle bags and moves to retrieve his horse. Placing them on Shasta's back, behind the saddle, I reply, "Well, I didn't sleep so well last night. By the way, Dita said he fed them and gave them water just a little bit ago so we should be good for a while."
"Good. I'd really like to get back before nightfall," he says, mounting his steed.
I hop onto the saddle and flash grin at him. "Why? You got a hot date?" He gives me a slightly irritated look, and I laugh. "Don't be so serious, Levi. It was just a joke."
"Very funny. Now, where are we headed?"
I smile at him as I ride over. Lightly hitting his arm, I say, "Stohess District. You better not be such a downer during this entire trip, Levi."
Levi's POV
We ride fast, only stopping for short breaks. Verena constantly repeats that Stohess District is just "a little bit further up ahead", but it takes a good two or three hours for us to actually reach Stohess. The Garrison soldiers on the wall spot us and wave. Verena waves back with a smile as we come up to the closed gate. Cupping her hands around her mouth, she shouts to them, "Mind opening it up for us?"
"Just one moment, Verena!" one of the soldiers shouts back in a friendly voice.
I glance over at her. "You know them?"
"I come here pretty often, so I've gotten to know some of them. Also, a few of them were trainees with me."
"Weren't you and Erwin from the same trainee squad?"
"Yeah, we were. That's how we met." She smiles, and there's a far away look in her eyes. I can tell she's thinking about her past, uncovering old memories.
The gate opens with a loud rumble, slowly rising before us and bringing Verena back into the present. We ride in just as it finishes its ascent. Once we're inside, the gate begins to close again behind us. As we enter the streets, we slow to a trot, avoiding civilians. I glance around. The people look at us suspiciously. Some of them giving us disgusted looks and sneering. "People here aren't very friendly, are they?" I ask as one man walks across our path, forcing us to stop. He curses at Verena, but she ignores him. We continue to trot down the street.
"Not to us. They're mainly upper class and wealthy merchants. They see us as a waste of their tax money," she replies in a low voice. Her eyes are narrowed, and I can see a fire in her green eyes. When Verena is angry, she definitely shows it. Verena slows to a stop beside a small shop and dismounts. The aroma of freshly baked bread is overwhelming, and it's not hard to guess that this a bakery. "Our first stop of the day." She digs in her pocket as I dismount. Pulling out a crumpled piece of paper, she unfolds it and scans it over. "Okay...So we need to get some bread, horse feed, blankets, and..." She squints at the paper and mutters something about Ethen's sloppy handwriting. "Oh! And new boots for Ethen, because he apparently lost his." Verena rolls her eyes, folds up the piece of paper, and slips it back into her pocket. "Well, let's get the bread now since we're here."
Verena and I travel around Stohess District, finding and purchasing everything on the list. By the time we're done, we're both exhausted and our saddle bags are full. Some of the bread and blankets didn't fit, so we had to tie bags of each to the saddle.
I let out a sigh. "Are we done yet?" I grumble, feeling irritable.
"Yep. All done." Verena turns to me with a smile, and I can tell by the look in her eyes she's about to convince me to do something I don't want to do, like she usually does. "Hey, why don't we get something to eat while we're here? The sun's still high in the sky, and we've got time to spare. Besides, I've been here so many times, and I've never actually seen much of it."
"Maybe that's a good thing," I mutter.
She steps closer to me, clutching tightly onto Shasta's reins. "Please, Levi!"
I look over at her. Her green eyes are wide and pleading. She looks so innocent. I feel the heat start to rush to my cheeks, and I turn away before she can notice. "Fine."
Throwing her fist in the air, she exclaims, "Yes!"
Verena and I find a place to tie up our horses for a little. She gives each of them some feed before grabbing my arm and dragging me down the street.
I wait outside the small pastry shop, leaning against the wall of the squat building. I hadn't noticed it before because of how tiny it is compared to the other buildings surrounding it. Verena convinced me to have some sweets. She also convinced me to allow her to pick mine out for me. It's hard to refuse her when she gives me that pleading look. I try so hard to push down my feelings that I can't help but give in.
Glancing at the sky, I notice the sun has dipped lower now, and I can tell it must be early evening. "Hurry up, Verena," I grumble. I am about to go in to see what's taking her so long when something catches my eye. Just as I turn my head, something slams into me, catching me off guard.
Verena's POV
Waving at the sweet shopkeeper, I exit the little pastry shop with my hand clutching the bag of sweets. When I look up, I stop. My eyes widen, and I feel my mouth drop open a little. Right outside the shop, Levi is kneeling down, his arms outstretched. A small child has wrapped himself around Levi's waist, his small hands clutching tightly onto his white shirt. Levi looks up at me, a confused and slightly helpless expression on his face. I burst out laughing, and he glares at me.
"Looks like you found a little something- or rather, someone, Levi," I say, giggling as I walk over to him.
"This isn't funny. I have no idea where he came from."
"His mother isn't around?" I ask, kneeling down beside him.
"I don't know. He's just been crying into my shirt this entire time."
I lean down closer to the young boy, and I smile softly. "Hi there," I greet him in a gentle voice. His head snaps up, and I can see tears in his brown eyes. His blond hair is messy and is sticking up in places. His bottom lip quivers as he gazes up at me. "What's your name?"
"M-Micah," he whimpers, wiping his nose on his sleeve.
"Hi, Micah. My name's Verena, and this is my friend, Levi." I place a hand on Levi's shoulder, drawing Micah's attention to him. Levi gazes down at him with an even expression. "Can you tell me where you mama is?"
Micah's gaze turns back to me, and he shakes his head. "No...I can't- I can't find her." Tears start to run down his rosy cheeks again as he begins to cry. I glance at Levi as Micah buries his face in his shirt again.
"Don't worry. We can help you find her," I say quickly, trying to comfort him.
Micah lets out a quiet sob before looking up at me again. "You can?"
Levi looks at me, raising an eyebrow. I nod slowly. "Yes, we can." Micah smiles wide, wiping his tears away. He detaches himself from Levi, and steps closer to me. "Where did you last see her, Micah?" I inquire.
"She was over there, buying apples," he replies, pointing at the fruit stand a little ways down the street.
"Okay. What does your mama look like?"
"She has light hair, like me, with...With big green eyes, like you," he tells me, pointing his little finger at my eyes.
"Do you know her name?"
"Uh...Papa calls her Mina sometimes."
I smile, pushing myself up. "Alright, Micah. I'm going to go find your mama. I promise I'll be right back."
Levi stands up, leaning closer to me. Micah grabs onto his leg, his small hands wrapped in the fabric of his pants. "You're leaving me here with him?" he asks in a hushed voice. Micah stares up at us, bewildered.
"Levi, I promise I'll be back soon."
"I'm not good with children, Verena."
I roll my eyes. "Have you ever really been around children?" Levi presses his lips together, thinking. He opens his mouth, but I stop him, "Isabel does not count." Levi's mouth snaps shut again. "Look, it'll be fine. All you have to do is make sure he doesn't run off. You can keep him occupied with these." I hand him the bag of sweets. "Besides, he seems to have taken a liking to you." We look down at Micah. He tightens his grip on Levi's leg. I turn back to Levi. "See? Now, stay here, and I will be right back." With that, I turn on my heel and head over to where Shasta is tied up, giving Levi no time to argue with me any further. Mounting my steed, I ride back over to them. Levi narrows his eyes at me, but I ignore him. "Stay with Levi, Micah. I'll find your mama." Snapping the reins, I head off down the street. Glancing over my shoulder, I see Micah and Levi watching after me. Micah is waving wildly with one hand, the other still clutching tightly to Levi's leg. Levi gazes at me, one hand holding the bag of sweets, the other gently placed on Micah's head. I smile. Yeah, he's going to be just fine.
Levi's POV
It's been over a half hour since Verena left, and I am starting to wonder if she'll ever find this boy's mother. I sit beside my horse, one leg outstretched, the other pulled closer to my chest. I rest my arm on my knee, using the either to keep myself upright as I lean back. I sigh. Micah chews loudly on the few treats Verena had originally purchased for us. His face is covered in crumbs, and jelly is smeared on his cheek. Leaning forward, I reach into my pocket and pull out a handkerchief. "Come here," I say, reaching out to him. He stops chewing and scuttles closer. He swallows his mouthful of pastries as I wipe away the mess of crumbs and jelly. "There."
He smiles wide and looks at my jacket. His big, brown eyes find the emblem printed on the side of my jacket sleeve and instantly light up. "The Wings of Freedom! That must mean you're a Scout!" he exclaims, suddenly excited. I nod in response, a little startled by his outburst. Micah moves closer. "What's it like?"
"What's what like?" I ask.
"Outside the walls!"
I stare at him, wondering how to answer his question without putting any ideas into his head. The silence begins to grow between us, but that doesn't change his enthusiastic expression. Finally, I reply, "It's open. No restrictions, no walls anywhere."
"Are the titans as big as they say?" The question pops out of him just as I finish my sentence.
"Bigger," I tell him.
"Wow! Maybe when I'm big and strong, I'll be a Scout, just like you!" he squeals excitedly. I feel my heart sink as I hear that, but I can't find the words to explain to him the horrors I've seen. I was to dissuade him, but I do not know how. Suddenly, I hear a loud whinny, and I turn to see Verena riding over. There's a woman on the saddle with her, her arms wrapped around Verena's waist. She's got a worried expression on her face, and her green eyes are filled with tears. Just as Verena stops, the woman hops down from the saddle and rushes over. Micah smiles and cries out, "Mama!" He gets up and runs over to meet her. The woman kneels down and catches him in her arms, hugging him tightly. I push myself up and stroll over.
Verena dismounts, keeping a hand around the reins. She looks at me as I walk over. "This is Mina. I found her searching for Micah all the way across town. I guess she had been looking for him for a while."
"Oh, don't you ever do that again! I thought I lost you, Micah," Mina tells him, giving him a serious look. In her gaze you can still see that she's worried.
"I won't, mama. Promise." Micah hugs her, wrapping his arms around her neck. She stands, picking him up.
Turning to Verena and me, she breathlessly thanks us, "Thank you both so much. I...I don't know how I can ever repay you."
"No need. I'm just happy to see you two reunited," Verena says with a caring smile.
Mina smiles at her and then looks at Micah. "Let's go home." She turns and heads back down the street. Micah looks at us over his mother's shoulder. Smiling, he waves.
We ride back to headquarters slowly. Night has fallen, and the sound of crickets chirping is almost deafening. I look over at Verena. She rides with her gaze on the sky above, the stars reflected in her green eyes. Her dark hair is down now. On our way out of Stohess she took it out of its usual ponytail, allowing it to unfurl over her slender shoulders. It had tumbled down, stopping just below her shoulder blades. I had never realized her hair was so long.
"Verena."
She shifts her gaze to me. "Hm?"
"What was that back there?"
"What do you mean?" she asks, furrowing her brow.
"The journey around Stohess to find Micah's mother- you acted like you were trying to find your own mother."
I see her eyes widen, and she frowns deeply. She turns her gaze to the path ahead. I can see that I've said the wrong thing, and I wonder what secrets she's hiding. What kind of life could she have had? For a long time, Verena is silent. She grips Shasta's reins tightly, her knuckles turning white. Finally, she says, "A child should never be without their mother."
Verena locks the stall door, and reaches up to brush the side of Shasta's neck. "See you in the morning, girl." Then, she turns to me and yawns. "I'm exhausted," she mumbles drowsily. We dropped off the supplies Ethen who happened to still be awake. He promised to take them down to storage for us and thanked us for getting him new boots. He had been barefoot when we met up with him.
"Yes, you should get some sleep," I tell her.
Verena takes a step forward, but stumbles. I catch her before she falls, gripping her arms tightly. She places a hand on my chest and pushes herself up. "Whoah. I guess I'm really exhausted." I can feel her warm breath on my neck. My heart begins to beat faster. She slumps forward again, but I prop her up, her head resting on my shoulder.
"Verena?" When I get no reply, I look down to see her eyes closed. Her breathing has slowed, and I know she's asleep. Brushing the hair out of her face, I whisper, "You idiot...You need to sleep more."
I carry her back to her room and lay her down on her bed. Sitting down on the edge of the mattress, I pull the blankets over her, and she curls up beneath them. Gazing down at her, I get that feeling again. This time I don't have to suppress it. Gently, I brush her hair back and lean down, placing a light kiss on her forehead. "Goodnight, Verena."