I clambered through the rest of the day trapped between what was really happening and my odd daydreams. My friends were all wondering what I was up to when I didn't want to stay after school for soccer- and Sarah was freaked that I didn't text her when I was supposed to after dinner. Life seemed so bland, for some reason.
My bedroom suddenly seemed unfamiliar- as I stubbed my toe on my desk after setting down my heavy backpack. What is wrong with me?
"Gryffin- honey- it's time for dinner? Are you still upstairs?" My mom called from down in the kitchen. I had been laying in my bed for around two hours now- pondering things- which is something that I've never really done before. I called back to her and my voice must have "had that certain tone" because she yelled something unintelligable back at me.
Ugh. I clambered down the stairs and into the large kitchen. My family happens to be very normal, perfect tile, nice flowers in the entryway, mom does all of the cleaning, dad watches sports. Daily life suddenly crushed down on me, as if routine, one of the things that my family is best at, has become boring.
Mom gave me a large smile and set down a tray of baked rolls, but when she caught sight of my dishelved hair her eyes turned suspicious.
"Young man, have you been loosing sleep lately?" Her concerned voice somehow agitated my nerves even further.
"Yeah, mom. I have. I'm fine." My words were clipped and sharp. Her eyes drooped downward and she left the room without a word.
I suddenly felt a wave of guilt- why was I treating everyone like this? It was like I was in some sort of stupor, some sort of spell. I picked up a roll and picked off some of the crispy edges. After a while it was a torn mess- all over the recently cleaned counter. I quickly cleaned it up and realized that I have homework to do.
That night, after I had forced myself to do the dreadful homework I layed in bed, thinking about her. Fen. The little, odd, reproachful girl. She was so different compared to Sarah, who was everything anyone ever wanted to be- popular, in sports, has great clothes, lots of friends, everything. But she really wasn't special.
She doesn't have a mess of tangled hair, that somehow looks alive. She doesn't have those large, envoloping eyes. She doesn't have mystery, or that light, lilting brogue.
And to my sudden surprise I understood that Sarah wasn't even important. She had never been. This new, confusing girl was the one I wanted.
But... I have only just met her. How can you want someone this badly after only a few words and glances exchanged? I will make sure to be more wary of what I am feeling. I think I'm falling into this too fast. Anyway, this new girl, how great can she really be?
I fell asleep, much more comforted with myself than I had been earlier- but only on false pretenses.
Before I completely slipped into darkness, the familiar words etched glowing patterns in my wandering mind,
"I don't need your pity- boy."
-
I awoke at the loud ring of my alarm clock, my eardrums thumping from the sudden impact. I rose out of bed and eventually headed off to school, where I met much anger and distain.
"Oh my GOD, Gryffie, hunny, you didn't call me! Like you said you would!" Sarah whimpered from behind me. I stiffled the urge to roll my eyes, but instead I turned around with a sarcastic smile.
"Well, sorry, I was busy." Ha, busy, yeah right. I hope she believed it.
"Gryff," her voice hitched on the last sound of my name, I hate it when she calls me Gryff, "sweetie, I was soo waiting for you to call me! Sadie said that it was tottally not cool of you to do!" Her snitty voice stung my ears.
As I trudged through the hallway, attempting to find someone to talk with that wasn't Sarah, I saw a small form outside- in the courtyard.
Her hair was softly moving in the wind, brushing againts her open back. Her small shoulders were poking out of the light-weight fabric, which was shifting againts her marble skin in the breeze. Her slim hands were lifted towards a ray of light, which appeared to be cutting a path through the delicate orange leaves in the tree that was blocking its endevors.
She stood like a statue, her arms curved in such a way they suddenly reminded me of the full moon, white and glowing. Her skirt rustled as leaves brushed againts the hem, her bag sat on a metal bench nearby.
Why hadn't anybody else noticed her?
As the beam glowed on her palms, a tiny flame ignited and seemed to float cautiously above her hands. It flickered and glowed, but did not waver in the wind. Its bright cheery light caused her eyes to illuminate with a soft glimmer. What was happening here?
She turned around suddenly, and the flame was gone. She must have heard my intake of breath. Her brows furrowed, her eyes fierce. She looked like a lioness, out there in the wind.
With a purposeful stride she somehow made it over to the bench where her bag rested in seconds, turned away from me, and gracefully moved across the soft fall grass to the other side of the courtyard, opened the door to the inside, and was gone.
Had I really just seen that? What had just happened?
Who is she?
These bungled thoughts slammed through my brain like a freight train, causing me to stand there looking like an idiot for an even longer period of time. People were starting to notice my oddness, even though they hadn't noticed the even that had happened outside.
I snapped out of the trance and moved down the hallway, still recounting on what had occurred. Fen... I had to talk to her. Now.
Rushing towards the west wing I pushed through crowds of people, all of them giving me dirty looks as they resumed their talking. I saw my "friends" from yesterday across the hall, giving me the worst looks of all. But I didn't care, I needed to see her.
I turned the corner, expecting her to be somewhere in the hallway that she entered from the courtyard. Of course, she wasn't. The bell rang- signifying five minutes till class.
A loud sigh escaped my lips as I darted off to math, and barely got to my seet on time. The whole lesson I was grumpy, especially when called on.
Next hour wasn't any better. I had band- and Sarah and her gaggle of friends were in it. Her friends are actually not much better than her, talking amongst themselves (probably about her) and not making a racket like she was.
But then there is Sadie. Who has had her eye on me for as long as I could remember. Her fine, straight blonde hair was shoulder length, her teeth still covered in pink braces. If only Sarah knew just how much her friend loathed her- just because of me.
The band teacher promted us to warm up, my hands instinctively wrapped around the neck of my violin and I began to play.
"Ohemgee! Sadie, Sadie, come here! Look at his face- isn't he just so hot?" Sarah cooed in my ear. I felt so bad for Sadie, sitting there having to see this. I smiled at her, trying to comfort her some how. Sarah kept babbling about something, but I didn't care to keep up.
I leaned over and started to talking to Sadie- who's face was the definition of surprised and pleased. Her lips curled upwards- and suddenly she didn't seem so sad and alone looking to me. It seems her and Sarah were more similar than I could have guessed, the desperate look in her eyes gave it all away.
With a start I understood that I didn't need to feel any pity for this girl- and stepped away to "go get a drink". I was really contemplating talking with Fen, after what happened this morning in the courtyard. My mind still stretched and writhed around those slippery facts, darting around conclusions and what couldn't possibly be real.
-
Piles of paintings and clay pots lined the stuffy art room, and my eyes quickly darted around the space, searching for her small frame. I glanced at the back table where we had sat last time, and something seemed off about it. I called hello to the teacher before heading back to the gloom, the clay dust caused me to sputter and cough.
While sitting down at the table I had been at yesterday, I noticed something very...odd. On the stool next to me, there was a very small cat. With fluffy ears and large green eyes. Her fur was streaked with bronze and red, and her belly was a sleek dark brown. The top of her furry head didn't even reach the wooden table.
I raised an eyebrow, "What're you doing here, sweet little girl?" I pet her head, she glared up at me under fluffy brows.
"Ok, ok, jeez, I'll back off." My words curled sarcastically and she turned her head away from me, gazing at invisable pray.
I leaned on my knuckles, pondering the small cat's appearance and if Fen was going to be here or not.
Ah, Fen. Maybe that's why the cat is here.
The teacher called me up, “Hey, Gryffin, have you seen uh.. what was her name…Fenny? The bell is about to ring and she’s not here yet.” I shook my head.
"No, Ms. Cranbly, I haven't seen her yet." I sighed.
As I turned around and headed for my seat I realized she was sitting there, leaning over speaking in hushed tones to the small cat. When she heard my footsteps on the hardwood floors of the art room she sat up slowly, ushering the cat into her lap.
"Uh, is that your cat?" I asked curiously.
She had a mischevious glint in her eyes, as she said, "Aye, she is. She was merely holding my place untill I had time to finish some buisness." She laughed softly, which suddenly reminded me of the babble of a cheerful brook. Her hair shook over her small shoulders, which were wrapped in woven shawls. Small seashells and starfish dotted the drapes, which gave the effect of being wrapped in the ocean. She hadn't had those on earlier... Now her soft brown dress was barely visable.
"So...how's the weather outside today? I got a ride, so I didn't really get to see how it was out there." I lied, trying to coerce her into explaining what had happened in the courtyard earlier.
"It is a bit chilly, but it is fine for me lad." Her lips tilted upwards, she was obviously pleased with herself. She didn't need to tell me anything, and I couldn't tell anyone what I saw.
As class went on, I realized that she wasn't knitting today. I looked at her many shawls and asked, "Hey, did you make those?"
"Aye aye, I did." My eyebrows shot up in surprise, there were so many of them! And they looked like they had been done perfectly. And another thought... where did she get all of those seashells?
She slowly smiled up at me, "A wee thing amuses the bairns." Her face glowed with rememberance, and suddenly, a certain sadness. She quickly glanced down again, working on the sketches we were supposed to be doing.
"What does that mean?" I asked in a soft voice.
"Simple folk are amused by simple things." Was her loftly reply.
"So I'm not supposed to muse over your amazing skill to create things?" I turned my head towards her's, wanting to see her face again.
Her pale cheeks lit up with a slight pink, making her green eyes glow. Something drew my eyes down to her shawls, where a starfish wriggled and crawled through the netting. My eyes grew wide, and it stopped.
"Your flattery is silly. I'm not just a prize to be won, Sir Gryffin." Her eyes were alight with a small flame of watered down fury, as if she was trying her hardest to control it. Couldn't I get close to her and try to be nice without her getting mad at me?
"Why is it that you can't stand me?" My brows knitted as I said this.
Her eyebrows shot up out of sight, under her frayed fringe, "Why, I can stand you. But you expect many things to go your way in life, that, you must simply let happen." Her small cat meowed, which admittadly, made my jump a bit in my seat, because I had forgotten she was there. Fen's eyes reminded me of what I had witnessed earlier, with the flame.
For a few minutes we sat in silence, working on our sketches of our first clay pots. My phone started buzzing in my pocket, and when I took it out it seemed there was a text from Sarah,
Hey hunni, wanna come over after school today???? :))
My mind pulsed with an immediate no, no! I have had enough with her, for today. I need to find an excuse. Random soccer practice? No, she'll follow me. Mom needs me home? No, I never have to babysit on Tuesdays. Frustration pounded in my head, I started tapping my foot on the stark floor.
Fen was humming a soft melody, which sounded Celtic. Her lilting voice was suddenly in my head, cooling my heated temper. She doused my bad thoughts and let me swim in an ocean of calm that I had never once felt before in my entire life.
She glanced up from her sketch, her eyes caught the blue glow of my phone.
"Oh, is this your bonny lass?" Her smile didn't reach her eyes this time, what does that mean?
"Uh, yeah. That's Sarah. She's kinda my girlfriend." After six months, you'd think I'd like her more.
"Ha, kinda?" Her last word was a bit muddled, it sounded odd coming from her mouth. It didn't fit her soft accent. I took time to look closer at her, and my mind suddenly drifted. Her alabaster skin had lots of small freckles, reminding me of the starry night sky. Her face was so balanced, with the small nose sloping down at an elegant tilt, her dark eyebrows outlining her large, deer-like eyes. Her hair seemed a few shades darker today, but the odd white and orange tips were still there. Long thick lashes flicked and I suddenly realized that I had been sitting there, staring at her, for the past few minutes.
"Uh...er...I'm sorry. I'm wondering, though, is your hair darker today?" It seemed to swirl around her delicate face, making her look as if she stepped right out of a fairy-tale.
"Aye, it might be. I canna tell. Some days it has a mind of it's own, haha." Her laugh tinkled like bells in the breeze. Her stunning high cheekbones tilted upwards. I saw a flash of little white teeth, and I longed to know more about her. I longed to see her smile.
"Mine has a tendancy to be wild, too." I jestured up to my out-of-control hair, which today, happened to be sticking out at odd angles all over. She giggled, "Ah, yes, yes it is."
"I donna mind wild hair. It seems that mine personifies something other than myself, yee know?" Her head tilted, a soft glitter catching the light on her pure skin.
"I know." I softly said. She turned to me, and her cat gazed at me intently from her lap.
A question popped into my head suddenly, "Hey, what is your cat's name?"
"Well, this little bairn isn't my cat. She tis my totty wee friend. Her name be Ardis." The cat cooed and rubbed her fluffy head againts Fen's pointed elbows, purring in kitty content.
"She's very cute. May I pet her?"
"Well, yes. But the question really should be 'can' I pet her, she's a very...judgemental animal. She has a wee body, yes, but she is a tempermental little lassie. She donna just like everyone." Ardis looked up at her and they shared a knowing look, as if they were in on a secret that no one else was.
I reached over to where Ardis was perched, when Fen interjected, "Treat her with honor, as your name suggests." I bowed my head to the small cat, and she, in turn, bowed back. Her small furry face met my open palm as she purred with happiness, and Fen's eyebrows rose.
"Well, I shoulda expected it. Wee creature knows who has canny intentions." Her smile lit up her face.
"Thank you, little Ardis, for allowing me to be your friend." I rubbed the small space between her ears and made sure to scratch under her chin before turning back to my work. I was happy.
And then the thoughts of Sarah rushed into my head. I had to tell her something! To make her get off my case...
So I did something that I wouldn't have expected, even from myself.
"Hey, Fen, do you want to hang out after school today? I mean, cause, I'm not very good at sketching and I need some help with...uh, sketching." I smiled quickly, trying to seem like I'm not as desperate as I really am.
"Well, I have some things to do. But, aye, to help a fellow...I suppose. I suppose I can. Where do ye wanna meet me? That is, if you want to go somehwere else." Her words came out quickly, and a gush that reminded me of birdsong.
"Haha, oh, um, how about we meet in the courtyard?" I knew this would catch her off gaurd.
"Will dae." She nodded and her hair shook around her small frame. It reached down to her lower back. Her knuckles turned white as she pressed harder with her pencil, breaking it's fragile lead. She sharpened it and went on sketching in long, fluid strokes.
My mind raced in anticipation, yes!
I texted Sarah back right as the bell rang,
Sorry, staying after school. I've got a tutor.
-
Fen
My dress welled around me, as my mind raced with a thousand thoughts.
A bird called to me from a tree outside, wondering why people always through their rubbish in the courtyard. Ardis meowed softly from inside my hollow bag, wondering when she would get to see "that boy" again. Silly wee creature.
The stars shifted above, though no one else could see their patterns changing, I knew their fluxes in my mind. A web of connection pulsed within my head, every animal, rock, bird, in kind, suddenly flashed before my eyes. The fae creatures darting through the forests. The trees were talking, as the rivers flowed softly by.
Then a face flashed in my thoughts, Gryffin. I had never once cared for a simple boy before, why should I now? Maybe after these many long ages, there will be someone to accompany me on my journey? Well, I barely know him! Why am I so drawn to him?
His big smile and deep blue eyes resounded in my mind as my feet made no noise, softly gliding though the empty hallways to the outdoors- where everything was simple and I could find some well needed peace.
-