I felt as if I was running around like a chicken with her head cut off. The boys were back to work, so that meant things were full steam ahead for me after only a short break. It wasn’t the same tasks I had for their tour. Appearances and photo shoots were far more hectic. Never knowing what to expect or what kind of crowd the boys would draw.
Tonight they had a Sony event where Simon was presenting them with their plaque showing all of the countries they’d sold over a million records in. It was a big night for the boys which meant it was a big night for me. I had errands to run, suits to keep track of, cars to hire, security to take care of and much more. I had to be a million things at once….in heels. Since it was a red carpet event, I had to be dressed to the nines. I kept it simple, in a black dress and red heels. My hair in loose curls.
The boys were all getting ready at a hotel in London together so that they were easier to wrangle. Already we’d had Louis’ pants split up the back which I had to sew. Liam had lost his phone in the car that brought us here and Harry had misplaced his bow tie.
I raced down the hotel hallway after digging through every bag we had to find Harry’s bow tie. We were already running late. I knocked on Niall’s door and handed him the pair of socks he’d forgotten to pack before rushing to Harry’s room. Instead of knocking, I used my master key and slipped inside. I groaned and kicked my heels off for a second, the arches of my feet already sore.
“Bow tie!” I yelled into the suite. Harry came out of the bathroom tucking his white dress shirt into his grey suit pants. He only had the bottom three buttons done and I rolled my eyes at him. “Really, Styles?”
He looked up from under his hair at me, his green eyes sparkling. “What?”
I walked up to him and started fastening the remaining buttons on his shirt. “Don’t walk around like that. It’s not nice.”
His hands were on my hips, pulling me closer to him as I finished his buttons and tucked his shirt in at the back, letting my hands take their time across his ass. He tucked his nose in the hair by my ear and smirked against my cheek.
“So sorry.”
“You should be,” I teased, sliding my hands around his waist and up his chest. I looked up into his eyes as he smiled down at me and felt that familiar warmth spread through me that seemed to come with being around him these days.
“You look amazing,” he said, curling his finger under my chin and touching his thumb to my lips. I kissed his fingertip and rubbed my cheek against his palm when he slid it into my hair.
“You look better naked,” I shrugged. He smiled wider and placed his forehead to mine, touching his nose to mine.
“Oh yea?”
“Ooohooo yea.”
“Now I know why you keep me around.” He was almost smiling against my lips and I was fluttering with my want to kiss him.
“That and the paycheck.”
He laughed and the sound went straight through me. What was happening between us now couldn’t be stopped, but I wasn’t even really trying to anymore. Ever since that night in my house, three weeks earlier, I’d wanted him around constantly. Sleep overs were becoming a regular occurrence. We’d hang out without sleeping together, that’s how I knew things were really changing.
The sex before was hot and dirty and wrong. It melted my bones and completely consumed me. Now it was sexy and we connected to each other like never before. We knew each other’s bodies without question now. He knew what I wanted before I’d ask.
But more than the sex he fulfilled me on different levels now. He was such light in a world that I didn’t realize had been rather dark. He was color in a sea of grey. I hadn’t realized how lonely I’d been until he filled that space I’d been ignoring. Before this thing with him, I’d had my job and that was it. Now I had my job and I had him. I felt protective of this thing between us and didn’t even want to consider giving it up. His age had become such a non-issue that most of the time I forgot it had ever been an issue before.
For Harry, I knew I was something for him. I didn’t question how he felt because I knew, in his own way, he cherished me. This thing with us was something that only belonged to us. He didn’t have to share this part of him with the world or with the boys. I could tell when things had changed for him. He began calling me for no reason, just to hear my voice or tell me something funny he’d heard. He’d text me good morning and goodnight. When he’d sleep over, if he woke up before me, he’d have breakfast made and sitting on the night stand waiting for me.
In some small way, we’d shifted into something so much more than just heated moments that came and went. He felt like he belonged to me and I to him. We never talked about it, it just was. And I was in love with whatever it was.
He pressed his thumb under my chin to tilt my lips up to his and I groaned and pulled away. “Don’t start that. We’re already late.”
“I just want a kiss,” he said in fake innocence.
“First it’s a kiss then it’s me on the dresser with my dress around my waist and Paul knocking down the door. No kisses.”
“Can we go back to the dress around the waist idea?”
I shook my head at him but couldn’t help but smile as I hooked the bow tie around his neck and worked on tying it. I knew the second I was done with it, he’d mess with it and make it crooked just like he always did. It’d become like a trademark of his that he was completely unaware of. I got the black tie perfect and smoothed my hands down his chest, ignoring the fact that he was looking down at me with a sweet smirk on his face.
“Finish up,” I ordered, smirking back and going up on my tip toes to give him a small peck, caving just a little. Who was I kidding? I caved more than I didn’t with this boy.
As he went to get his grey vest off the bed a knock sounded on his door. I knew it was Paul before I even answered it. He had the rest of the boys with him, along with Preston, their secondary handler.
“He’s just getting his jacket on,” I filled them in, turning to check on Harry who was finishing up the last button on his vest and tossing his suit coat on. I felt lightheaded again at the sight of him. Tall and lean in a grey three-piece suit that fit him devilishly well. I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about what it was going to be like undressing him later. The tension that getting through all those buttons would build. How he’d truly feel like a man in that suit.
“All set?” Paul asked, motioning for him to get out of the hotel room so they could start traveling to the venue.
Harry stuck his phones, wallet and hotel key in his pockets and I immediately stuck my hands out and scrunched my fingers, for him to empty his pockets and give it to me. “It’s gonna ruin the lines of the suit having all that bulk in your pockets.” He rolled his eyes at me, never forgetting that I was his assistant first and foremost and I sometimes annoyed the shit out of him. He handed off his belongings and I tossed them in my oversized bag that also carried everything you could think of in case of a red carpet emergency.
“Now we can go?” Paul asked and I nodded, following them out. Harry placed his hand on the small of my back to guide me out of his room but as we trailed a little behind his hand slid down my waist to my ass and I reached behind me and curled one of my fingers around his.
The boys excitement built in the elevator as they realized what they were on their way to and how much they’d accomplished. I watched as Niall jumped up and down and the other’s laughed in disbelief, proud of my boys. Proud of Harry. I didn’t need his attention right now, it belonged to the boys in moments like this, yet he still managed to catch my eye and smile and I knew he was happy to share this with me.
The carpet was crowded and hectic. I was being shoved and prodded and asked to move non-stop. I wasn’t anyone of importance, therefore it didn’t matter if someone stepped on my foot with their stiletto or elbowed me in the back. I tried to stay off camera during interviews and only swooped in to fix Niall’s broken pants zipper.
Harry was on tonight. Talkative and giving interviewers good answers with cheeky grins. He did his hair flip when asked, hit on the female interviewers and acted as if the male ones were old mates. He was perfect. His mood was incredible. Watching him stand for pictures and do his job with such confidence and ease was such a turn on. He was born for this. A natural at every aspect of it.
The event was classy. A five coarse meal, never ending champagne, speeches given by label execs, producers and finally Simon. The plaques he presented the boys with were huge and glittering with a tiny flag for each country they’d sold over a million copies in. Flags for countries I didn’t even recognize. The boys were overwhelmed accepting. Emotional and humbled. I watched from the sides with Paul and Preston. All three of us overflowing with pride for our boys but not saying it out loud. Paul whistled through his fingers, while I clapped and tried not to tear up. Each boy took their turn at the mic, giving more than just their run of the mill “Massive thanks” spiel but instead taking the time to really express their gratitude and disbelief that this was their life now and they were sitting in a room of people who’d helped make their dreams come true.
I waited off stage after they performed for the crowd, with towels and water bottles. I hugged each of them tight. Harry hugged me the longest, burying his face in the crook of my neck and squeezing me so tight. I pet the back of his head and whispered in his ear how proud of him I was. I closed my eyes and let myself have this small moment. I let myself pretend that we didn’t have to hide. That I could be with him like this, that he could hold me like this in front of the world and there would be no consequences. Suddenly I found myself wanting to walk down the street with him, my hand in his, on a lazy Sunday. Sit at a restaurant for a long dinner, drinking wine as he stroked my leg. Curling up with our friends on the couch, cuddling into his side and not having to restrain myself. My want for these things bore into my chest and hurt to think about. To have those things, I’d have to give up my job. I wouldn’t get to see him as often. I wouldn’t get to take care of the five boys I’d come to love so deeply. I’d have to find a new job which would take me even further away from him.
Plain and simple, these things I wanted I could never have.
We pulled away from each other and I let him go so he could celebrate with the boys and their team. I excused myself to the bathroom, finding that new feeling was beginning to suffocate me. I burst through the doors trying to catch my breath and steadied my hands on the sink. I covered my eyes with my hand and took deep breaths. What had I gotten myself into? Sex was one thing but this? How had I let it come to this? I should have never let him stay after we’d had sex. Should have never joked with him or talked to him about things other than business. I should have never sat with him on rooftops or taken those long destinationless drives. I should have never let him in.
I heard a soft knock on the bathroom door and it startled me. I stood up straight and smoothed my hands down my black dress, clearing my makeup from under my eyes.
“Yes?” I called once I felt I’d gathered myself.
The door cracked open and Harry peeked his head around the corner. “Why’d you run off?”
“I didn’t,” I forced a smile but my lips were trembling. “Can’t a girl use the bathroom?”
Harry’s brow pulled in and he stepped into the bathroom, letting the door close behind. He stepped towards me and cupped my face in his hands and just that simple gesture from him unraveled me. I burst into tears, further confusing him.
“Hey, what is it? What’s wrong?”
“I can’t ruin your night like this. I’m sorry, Haz. Go back out there with the boys.”
“No, tell me what’s wrong.” Concern dripped from his voice as he cleared my tears away with his thumbs. I looked up into his eyes that were searching mine for some kind of explanation.
“You should be out there with the people you love right now,” I encouraged one last time.
“I am.”
Two words. Those two words and everything changed.
I exhaled, holding the opening of his suit coat and pulling his body closer to mine.
“I want you,” I confessed.
“Why are you crying?”
“Because, Harry…I want you. I want this. I want….us. Because there is an us to want. Because….”he was listening so intently to me, his eyes sparkling. I knew I had to say it. “…I love you.”
He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to mine, exhaling deeply through his nose. “You do?” He asked so innocently, as if he couldn’t believe it. I closed my eyes and held his wrists, keeping his hands on my face.
“I do,” I whispered before he captured my lips with his. His tongue, electric. His lips, soft. I stood on my tip toes, my heels rising out of my shoes as I wrapped my arms around his head and he circled his around my waist until our chests and hips were flush against each other. I could taste the salt of my tears on our lips mixed with the bitter sweetness of the champagne on his tongue.
He lifted me out of my shoes, sitting me on the sink and pressing me back against the mirror. I pushed his suit coat from his arms, letting it pool on the tiles by my shoes. My fingers worked quickly at his vest buttons while he lifted my ass and slid my dress up to my waist. He stopped me by tilting my face up to his again and looking down at me, his expression soft yet filled with so much.
“Say it again,” he requested. I reached up and held to his face, petting my thumb across his eyebrow. Just moments ago I’d resolved to end it so I could keep my job. End it before things got too messy. But then he’d walked in and I’d felt like my chest was caving in at the thought of it. I could imagine my life without my job but in that moment, I couldn’t imagine my life without him.
“I love you,” I held his eyes with my own, watched as his eyes closed over my words. I let my hands fall from his face down his torso. I pulled his dress shirt free from his trousers and raised my lips back to his. “I’m in love with you,” I clarified before he kissed me again, this time with more passion. His hand cupping the back of my head. I couldn’t help but whimper against his tongue.
“I’ve been in love with you,” Harry finally returned against my lips and it was all I needed for me to know that this was worth it.
“Show me,” I pleaded, unhooking the clasp on his trousers, then the button before finally pulling the zipper down. “Make love to me, Harry.”
He moved his kisses to my neck and left a slow wet trail, kneading his tongue against my pulse point.
As much as I didn’t want to have to put him back together again, I needed his skin. I untied his bow tie and worked on the buttons of his dress shirt until it was open and I could place my palm flat against his heart. Feel the way it raced beneath my fingers. Feel the heat that radiated off of him.
His hands slipped up my thighs and pulled my panties off. He knelt and kissed my thighs, pushing my knees apart. I slid myself to the edge of the sink and held the counter for leverage. I watched him as he slipped a finger inside me and dragged his tongue slowly between my folds. My breath hitched in my throat and I clutched his hand that rest on my thigh. He licked and nipped at my most sensitive skin while he kept his finger tucked deep inside me where he curled it back and forth against my walls. Stroking me from the inside.
As much as I loved the sight of him looking up at me from between my thighs, when he closed his eyes and let himself get wrapped up in the taste of me….it crumbled me every time.
He didn’t stay down on his knees long, only wanting to taste me and get me needing him so completely that I was lost to everything else in the world but that need. He’d made love to me with his perfect tongue but now I needed him inside me.
We kissed deeply as I slid my hand into his pants and massaged him for a few seconds before freeing him. As much as I wanted a bed and for us to have the luxury of being able to take our time and explore each other’s bodies, I knew I’d get that later. Right now, I needed him so badly my entire body was aching for it.
I wrapped my legs around his waist as he pushed inside me. I clenched around him for a few seconds, needing that familiar groan in my ear and the released breath that always came with that. When I let go, he bear hugged me to him, kissing me as well as he could while he moved inside me. Our mouths staying open against each others. His breath feeding mine. I latched onto him, rolling my hips while he thrust his. Not paying any mind to the fact that I was completely destroying his hair or that my make up would be irreparable.
We tried to keep our noise levels down but it proved impossible with this boy. The more I pushed and he pulled the more heated our breathing became. The more audible. He held tight to me and turned us, my legs still wrapped around him and his cock still snug inside me. He sat on the counter and I adjusted so I was on my knees on the counter, straddling his lap. I rode him slowly, tilting his head back and kissing him, moaning against his tongue until I had to disconnect and catch my breath. His mouth open and his eyes squeezed closed.
He buried his head in the deep v of my dress, kissing the modest swell of my breasts, his breath hot against my skin as I cradled his head and began to ride him a little faster.
“Oh my God, baby. You feel so good,” I breathed out, my head falling back on my shoulders. He held the back of my neck and sucked on the skin of my throat until I felt myself falling over. My orgasm snuck up on me, hitting me hard and causing me to squeal at the surprise and throw myself forward on him, wrapping my entire body around him as he shifted us again, laying my back on the counter and supporting my hips while he took me.
I bit the back of my fingers, trying to control myself. I held his hip and watched his face. Watched his expression as he had me.
“Come on, baby. Cum for me, Harry.”
As if sparked by my words, his body tensed and his thrusts slowed as he left himself deep inside me. Coming down to lay his top half over me while he caught his breath against my neck and I pet the damp hair at the nape of his neck.
The knock was quick and left us no time to respond or recover before the door was opening.
“Hey, love are you in here? I can’t find Harr—” Paul froze at the sight of us, tangled in each other. Harry stared at Paul like a deer caught in the headlights while I covered my mouth with my hand. Everything I’d been afraid of starring me straight in the face. Catching me red headed. I felt as if my heart was stopping even though I could still feel the violent thud of Harry’s against my chest.
“What the hell is this?”