Alana
"Hey honney, how was school?" My mom asked me from the kitchen. Today was awful. Dave and his friends ganged up on me before school. Everyone was watchimg and they all laughed.
"It was ok. Nothing special or different happened today." I said to her. "It's all the same." I mumbled under my breath.
"Ok honney. Can you help me set the table? Your father will be home shortly." She asked. I nodded and helped her set the table.
She didn't notice my slight limp. That's great. The boys knocked me to the floor. They kicked me in the stomach amd bruised my right leg. Looks like running will no longer be my option for a while.
By the end of the day, my locker was filled with papers telling me to kill myself amd cut. Others told me to swallow pills to end my life. Some told me to shoot myself. A few told me to drink bleach. I've become use to them. I don't want to die. My parents still want me. They're really bussy trying to keep me healthy and are constantly thinking of work and what has to be done to notice what is going on in my life. I love them so much and I know they love me too. I can't give up on them, they've never given up on me.
"Ok thanks for helping me. Noe go wash up so you can eat." My mom said giving me a smile.
I'm a freshman now. Still trying to figure out high school, then again, who isn't trying to figure out high school?
I lift up my short to reveal large bruises on my stomach. At least they're not visible.
~
After dinner, I go upstairs to start my homework. I don't have too much to do luckily. I pull out my school lap top and begin to look up answers to my vocabulary book. Once I find the answers, I write them in. Today is just not the day to do this.
Afterwards I start my Algebra which takes me about twenty minutes to complete. Algebra is quite easy.
Now that I finnish my homework, I have free time. I look around my room and decide to shower. I need it.
I hop in the shower and start to think...
Should I die?
Would it be painful?
Would everyone be happier?
I mean, my parents wouldn't notice. Adam hasn't talked to me in a while. A few months now. He has his own life. If I die today, six months later, I would deffinately be forgotten. A distant memory.
I hop out of the shower and cloth myself.
How would I go?
I can overdose. It seams less painful.
I will do it later. When my parents are asleep. The least I can do is tell them goodnight and how much I love them.
I play music on my phone and lay in bed. Staring at the cealing. Thinking, what would it be like to die?
I fall asleep.
I wake up to one of my favorite songs, Hold On Till May by Pierce the Veil.
"We've all been there sometimes, but tonight, I'll make you feel beautiful once again." I sang along to Vic's voice. I've always admired his voice. It's different. The band it self is different. They sometimes add the hispanic music to their post-hardcore sound. It's different and they put so much effort and time and passion into their music. That's a few reasons why I love them.
I start to cry when my favorite part of the song begins. I listen to Vic's soft words and He and Tony play. "If I were you, I'd put that away. See you're just wasted and thinkin' about the past again. Darlin' you'll be okay." That part always gets me, esspecially now.
Vic's right. I'll be okay. This can't last forever. This pain that I feel in my heart, it will be set free and fly away from me. I will be ok. I will be ok. In a few years, I'll find someone special. Someone who I can tell.
I'm not going to die tonight. I'm going to live for a long time. I'll be okay.
The song ended and I went downstairs to tell my parents how much they mean to me and how much I love them. I hugged them tight and kissed them.
I walked back to my room with nothing but love. Love from my parents and love that Pierce the Veil has opened my eyes to. I know it may sound pathetic that I am depending on a band, but who else can I depend on. I know I haven't met them, and probably never will, but they have changed so many lives, including mine. They saved my life tonight. Thank you Vic, Tony, Mike, and Jaime.
I fall asleep into happy and full of love.
~
"Hey bitch! Where are you going? Why didn't you kill yourself last night huh?" Dave asked me pushing me into the lockers. "Looks like we're gonna have to do it for ya." He said with a smirk.
"Stop! Please! Stop! I'm begging you! Help! Someone!" I shouted flinging my arms and legs around.
"Alana wake up! It's me Michael. You're ok." Michael said. Wait, Michael? I opened my eyes to see Michael looking at me concerned and broken.
"What happened? " I asked. He just hugged me and kissed my forehead. "I think you should tell me. You were first talking in your sleep, then you were screaming and kicking." Michael said.
"What happened? " Luke came in the room pushing Michael away from me. "Did he hurt you?" Luke asked. I shook my head. "No he didn't I had a bad memory in my dream and I freaked out. He calmed me down." I told him.
Michael pushed Luke away and said, "Yeah, I said I wans't going to hurt her again, so I'm not. "
Ashton and Calum came in the room and all four sat on the bed. "Tell us what happened. What's wrong sweetheart? " ashton said. Calum rested his head on my lap. Michael rubbed my back. Ashton whiped tears from my cheeks. Luke knew what was happening. It happened once when I was staying at his house. Luke held my hand. Michael tensed, but let it go.
~
"I'm so sorry that happened, but we're okay now." Calum said hugging me and kissing my cheek. It's 4 am now.
"It's ok. I know we're safe now." I said weakly smiling.
Luke hugged me and whiped away stray tears that Ashton didn't get.
Ashton held onto me like I was what was keeping him alive.
Michael hugged me tight and kissed my lips. "You'll be okay. I promise." He whispered in my ear.
~
3rd person P.O.V
The boys are all asleep on the bed. We barely fit. Michael fell of the bed, but he didn't even know. The floor is carpet, so I guess it's alright. Luke and Calum were laying horizontallyon the bed hugging each other. How cute. Alana was asleep on Ashton's chest. She never seemed so calm in her life. Ashton had his arm wrapped arou d her. They were so close. It was now 6am. Everyone was asleep. Everything was peaceful. Nothing seemed more right.
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I hope you guys liked this chapter. If you ever feel like commiting or anything, please message me so we can talk, and if I don't respond immediately, wait for me please. Don't do anything without talking to someone first. Talk to me. I'll listen to you. I have attempted. I have self harmed. I am acctually two months clean now! I will help you. I don't want to loose anyone. I know we don't know each other, but I will do whatever I can to make sure you stay alive. I love you all. You mean a lot to me. And if you think no one cares about you, well your wrong. I care. I really do <3.
Song: Hold On Till May (acoustic) by Pierce the Veil
Hope you enjoyed the song! It means a lot to me and hopefully will help you if you are looking for something to give you a reason not to, this song will help you and I will too! <3
Picture: Calum!
I love you all so much! I hope you liked the chapter and I want you to talk to me if you have one of those nights. You are all beautiful! I love you! Have a great day/ have a great night(whatever time of day it is where you are). Thank you for reading! Love y'all! <3