a/n (please read): to those who are confused with the timeline of the story-- this version of I'll Protect You takes place Spring 2013 to 2014. therefore, park is turning 18, she is not 20.
also, dedicated to Percabeth5599 for the absolutely amazing banner she made!
* * *
Park
"This is bullshit," Alec called out from the living room quite loudly. My father coughed into his coffee and both of his eyebrows shot up on his forehead as he set down the mug.
"I had no idea he cursed this much," my father mused as he added a small teaspoon of sugar into his drink.
"It's not normally this bad," I said. "He just does it when he gets really into shows."
"What's he watching now?"
"Gossip Girl."
As if on cue, Alec yelled out, "Screw Nate and Blair! Why isn't Chuck doing anything?"
Ah, noble sophistication at its finest.
While Alec kept on vocally expressing his frustration in the living room, I reorganized the files in front of me until they were in the order they were meant to be in. Then, I passed them to my father and nodded. "These look right, Father."
He gave me a sad smile as he took the papers and placed them back in the yellow folder right next to his coffee. In return, he pushed an envelope towards me. "Zen gave it to me yesterday. He said everything should be in order.
I didn't say a word as I placed the envelope into my bag and got to my feet. As I slung the strap of the bag over my shoulder and smoothed my sweater, my father gave a loud sigh.
"You know, your eighteenth birthday is a rather big deal. I don't know why you look so glum about it. In Cimeria, you would've been thrown a magnificent ball. Your mother would've had a dress made in the royal clan colors. Everyone would have been invited. The palace would've been absolutely breathtaking."
I grinned at him. "You know perfectly well that just because Mother is missing my actual birthday doesn't mean she still won't host a ball. Mark my words, I'm going to step off that plane and she'll already have the decorations ready."
"I'll bet you fifty euros."
"Done and done, Father dearest," I said. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a birthday party to attend."
When I walked into the living room, I saw Alec gripping the roots of his hair as the end credits rolled on the television screen. Popcorn littered the coffee table and there were two empty chip bags crumpled up on the edge. Elijah was going throw a fit.
I'm going to miss this house, I thought, my palm lingering on the walls.
Three weeks had flown on by during which I had experienced a major lockdown. Logan and Alec followed my every move from dawn to dusk. The only activity I was allowed to do was to attend Cross Academy and there, I was on careful watch by my friends, all of whom I'm pretty sure were paid by my father.
At home, it was even worse. I couldn't even grab a cup of water without one of the boys poking their heads out of their room to ask what I was doing.
The torture was to end tomorrow, though. My father had just received back my transfer papers, registration forms, and course booklet, as well as a personally written acceptance letter sent by the headmaster of Ilysian Academy.
"This is ridiculous! She needs to pick a guy!" Alec snapped, chucking the remote onto the couch.
"You're awfully invested."
"No, I'm not," Alec dismissed haughtily. "I'm just stating the obvious. I don't care about this show."
"Really? So you know that Gossip Girl is--"
"So help me, Sparrow, if you finish that sentence, I finish your life," Alec threatened. I snickered and dodged the throw pillow he tossed at me.
"If it were me, I'd keep the comments at a lower volume or else Archer's going to wake up and disable your account," I reminded him. Alec made an irritated noise before rolling off of the couch and swiping my father's car keys off the table. As he went to the coat rack and pulled on his black coat, I took my red wig from the little plant table by the door, where it had sat by a glass flower vase housing pink roses.
"I made that for Elijah when I was eleven," I reminisced as I secured the wig on my head. Even though my father had threatened to sue a good portion of Paradise's population, there was still a whispered rumor of Park Sparrow being hidden in the city. The game had switched from Where's Waldo to Where's Park?
Though the hospital had been paid a sufficient amount for their silence, the wig was still the greatest secret keeper. As I twirled a strand around my finger, I found myself missing the wig as well.
"I'm surprised he didn't smash it," Alec said, and I pushed him against the door. He charged out of the house and I followed him until he dove into the car and locked the driver's door. I took the passenger seat and he shrunk against the leather until he was sure that I wouldn't hit him.
We drove out of the neighborhood and towards downtown with Alec singing along to every tune playing on the radio in the loudest possible voice.
Finally, we came to a stop in front of Paradise Coffee and Alec switched off the engine. I hadn't said a word the entire ride. Even though he had the worst harmonizing skills in existence, I had kept my mouth shut. Alec glanced over at me then pulled apart my hands, which had been rubbing against each other the entire ride.
"Do you have everything?" he asked, his tone gentle.
"Yeah," I answered hoarsely. "I have everything."
Neither of us made a move to get out of the car. Alec sat with me as I thought about what I was going to do. This will be the last time I step foot into this coffee shop, I thought, my mind pulling up every memory I had here. I have to say goodbye to everyone.
"Park," Alec said, clearing his throat, "you know you don't have to do this."
Oh, but I have to. I coughed and gave Alec the best smile I had in me. "Come on," I said. "Let's go celebrate my birthday."
He didn't say another word as the we left the car and entered the shop. The addictive aroma of peppermint and pumpkin wafted past us as we headed towards the apartment doors behind the counter.
"Happy Birthday, Finch," my cousin called out as we passed him by the tables. I stopped and my cousin abruptly tugged me into a tight hug.
"I'll miss you, little Sparrow," he said in Cimerian. "I won't be able to see you off, but conquer Ilysian Academy, will you? They never gave me my debate sweater that I rightfully earned."
We pulled apart and I wasn't surprised to see tears brimming in Elijah's eyes. "Don't cry, Elijah," I said. "You'll look like a blubbering fish on land."
"A very handsome fish on land," Elijah argued, though the tears began to streak down his cheeks. "I've watched you grow up, little Sparrow. You can't blame me for being sad."
"I'm going to see you at Christmas, Elijah," I said, though a part of me began to crack at the truth of his words. Elijah had been the one by my side in Paradise and now he couldn't see it to the end. "But I'll miss you too."
A customer entered the coffee shop, capturing Elijah's attention for a split second before he looked back at me. "Enjoy your party. Archer has my gift for you at home and he'll give it to you for me."
After he walked off, Alec and I headed through the door and bounded upstairs, past all the apartment floors. We moved quietly, his sneakers and my boots making barely any noise as we ascended towards the rooftop.
Once we made it to the top, Alec pushed open the door, and a loud unanimous cheer erupted from a group of people crowded around a corner of the roof. I could barely make out the garbled phrase, but I was pretty sure that the neon pink and green sign reading, "Happy Birthday!" was an indicator that my friends were also shouting the same words.
"That thing is brighter than the sun," Alec complained as we approached them.
"Hey," Mark snapped, flashing Alec a frown as he pushed his black glasses up the bridge of his nose. "I made this."
"Good idea, letting the visually impaired one make the banner," Alec said, seating himself between Minnie and Zen. "Tell me, Mark, are you aware that your sign could light up a black hole?"
Everyone laughed at Mark's flustered expression except for Minnie, who kicked Alec in the shin with her boots. "Don't be mean," Minnie reprimanded. "He put more effort than you."
"I made her coffee this morning," Alec defended. He shot me a smile as I sat by Minnie, though, as a reminder of his actual gift: a silver bracelet with charms of different types of leaves dangling from the chain, all of them embedded with emerald stones.
It was to be a reminder of him when I left Paradise.
"I baked her a cake," Josh piped up, dropping his part of the sign to push the double layer cake in front of me. It was a simple chocolate concoction with white icing trimming the edges. The words "Happy Birthday Park" were spelled out in bright pink with eighteen exclamation marks at the end.
"Let me guess," I said. "Eighteen exclamation marks because I'm eighteen?"
"He wouldn't use candles because they ruined the aesthetic of the cake," James snorted.
"Eighteen candles is a lot of candles, James," Josh said. "I doubt Park here wants to maneuver around sticks of colored wax."
"It's also because Mark tends to accidentally eat the candles," someone spoke up from behind the group. Everyone turned around to see Logan, Sophia, and Vincent join the little rooftop rendezvous. Sophia gave me a timid wave as she set down a pink bag.
After the kidnapping, Sophia and I had reached a comfortable zone with each other (meaning Sophia hadn't insulted me whatsoever and I in turn made sure Alec wasn't enacting too much of his vengeful daydreams on her). We never spoke about the truth of who I was, and she never pressed it. Instead, she became much more reserved and mousy, as though I still scared her.
With all the comments Alec dropped, I'm pretty sure Sophia was convinced that I was going to have her beheaded.
"We agreed to never speak about that again," Mark whined. "Logan!"
"Why am I not surprised to hear that Mark ate wax?" cackled Minnie, throwing her head back against the chair while Mark's cheeks flushed a pale pink.
"Now who needs to be nice?" Alec sneered, to which Minnie responded by jabbing a foot in Alec's side.
"I'm sorry we're late, Park," Vincent said, setting down a spring green bag on the table, next to all the other gifts. In beautiful calligraphy on the surface was my name, a loopy heart encircling the words. "I couldn't find something to hold your present but Logan was kind enough to give me a ride to find one."
I glanced at Logan, who smiled at me as he joined my side, placing a dark blue box secured by a satin white ribbon down on the table. "Happy Birthday, Sparrow," he wished softly while Zen and Josh began arguing over who got to cut the cake.
"Shouldn't the birthday girl cut the cake?" James chided, plucking the knife out of Josh's hands.
"Did you hear that, Cross?" I gasped. "James Mayfield defended my right to do something. It's a birthday miracle!"
Overhearing my words, James sent me a nasty grin before stabbing the knife right smack in the middle of the cake. Then, he cut himself a large piece and plopped it onto the tacky purple paper plates that were stacked besides the three liter sodas.
Right before he dug into his slice, Logan stole the plate from him and slid it in front of me. "Bon appétit," he said, handing me a fork. After that, Zen took the knife and cut a few slices for Minnie, Alec, and himself. The sodas began fizzling as Sophia and Vincent opened them.
"This isn't too bad, Jack," I complimented Josh. "I guess that cooking club you're in at the academy paid off."
"It's Josh, Park," he frowned, but then he grinned, his pride flashing through his eyes. "I made it after I finished the SAT's yesterday."
"Then he slept for fifteen hours," Mark added. "But it's a damn good cake. How'd you think you did on your essay? I felt like the topic was too simplistic--"
"Mark," I sighed. "It is a Sunday evening. How about we not talk about testing and open presents instead?"
"Oh, mine first!" Minnie exclaimed, sitting upright in her seat and taking her feet off the chair. She pushed her plate aside to grab a burgundy red package from the pile and pressed it into my hands. As I untied the black ribbon securing the box, I noticed that James was staring at me with a peculiar gleam in his eyes.
"What?" I asked while I unwrapped Minnie's gift.
"Come to think of it, I saw you in Fell's lecture hall the other day, taking some sort of exam," James said. "I was going to ask you what you were doing, but it slipped my mind. Our finals aren't for a few weeks and you were here for the last history test--"
"I was taking my finals," I admitted, picking up my new favorite jacket. It was like the first one in every way, hidden pocket and sewed in hood, but it lacked the bullet holes and blood that the original had.
"Your finals?" the Unholy Trio echoed while Minnie beamed at me.
"It took me weeks to track this down, Park. You have no idea the lengths I went to find it."
"You mean the lengths I took? I'm the one who tracked down the store Park and I went to all those years ago, found its website, and hunted down this stupid jacket!" Zen proclaimed, indignation evident in his tone. "She bought it, I found it. It's a joint gift, Park. There's also a big green surprise in one of the pockets--from me, not her."
"Oh, I get it, you were taking the finals you missed," Mark summarized, but then bemusement crossed his face. "But I saw you in class for the fall finals, and there's no reason for you to take the winter finals early."
"Did you take them early?" Josh asked, leaning in across the table. Closing my eyes, I nodded.
"Why would you take them early?" James pressed.
"I'm flying back to Cimeria tomorrow." A sad smile replaced my previously ecstatic one, and I glanced at Mark. His shocked expression mirrored that of Josh, James, and Sophia's. They all gawked at me, jaws dropped, eyes wide, disbelief written all over their features.
Then the silence was cut apart by the outraged protests that filled the air.
"Are you moving back home?"
"You can't move now! It's your last year!"
"Why are you leaving us?"
"Is Logan going with you?"
The last one was asked by James and it was more directed towards his best friend than it was at me.
"I'm her bodyguard," Logan stated in a plain manner. "Of course I'm going with her."
James gave a dry laugh. "You've been our classmate for almost seven years, Logan, and now you might not even walk with us for graduation?"
Minnie turned her head, arching an eyebrow at me while the group fell into a stillness, where the tension could've been sliced by a needle. She shook her head at me and I could sense her disapproval rolling off of her.
I have to do this, Minnie.
"I'm sorry," Logan said, "but it's my job."
"James--" Josh started in a wary manner, his hand falling on his friend's arm but James shook off his touch.
"Whatever," he mumbled. "I just remembered that I have a lab write-up to finish for organic chemistry." James stood up abruptly and began to walk away from the table. Before he left though, he turned to look at me, his lips turned in a weak smile.
"I'll miss you, Sparrow," James said. "If you don't come back, just know that...it was an honor to have you and Alex Finch as a part of my class. It's a shame we won't walk together."
"Keep your chin up, Mayfield," I said. "I might be back in time to trip you when you graduate."
His smile brightened a tiny fraction, then he strode away from the group, slamming the rooftop door behind him.
Josh stared after James for a long while until he cleared his throat and stood. Mark followed his actions, pushing up his glasses, and the two of them grinned at me, their smiles stretching from ear to ear.
"I have to make sure James doesn't end up crashing his car, but first, you have to know that we'll miss you," Josh said. "I'm sorry for all those years we messed with you. You didn't deserve it."
"I kind of did," I admitted, and Logan laughed under his breath. "It's not like I was completely innocent during my time here. I've committed crimes against you myself, but despite that, you still made me a cake, Josh, so thank you. For starting over with me and being here today."
"You have to send us postcards," Mark pleaded. "Or we can Skype. It'll be like you never left!"
If someone had told me a year ago that I would be upset over leaving the Unholy Trinity, I would've smacked their head against a locker and told them to start taking medication. But now I sat there, laughing as Mark and Josh bid me a farewell through a series of complicated bows and salutes before leaving the rooftop.
"I'd confess my undying platonic love for you, Park, but I'm probably going to see you for Christmas," Minnie began.
"Your parents finally let go of the Christmas incident from three years ago?" Zen asked, his brows shooting up.
"No. It's just that the rate of Park's attacks is going to help me guilt them into letting me go because I'll tell them that this Christmas could be the last Christmas I have with her." Her smile was practically wicked. "Come on, Zen, I want a latte."
"So demanding," he grumbled. "Darkwood, help me clean up."
Alec casted a look over to me and when I gave him an affirmative nod, he got to his feet and began helping Zen clear off the table. Zen marched off with a trash bag in his hand while Alec carried the remainders of the food and drinks.
"You're not leaving because I found out, right?" Sophia piped up, tugging at the curls of her hair.
"In that case, you'd be the one leaving, not me," I told her, remembering the incident from all those years ago. "Don't worry, Sophia. I'll be out of your hair by tomorrow morning and you can finish astrophysics in peace."
Her laughter was short as she began to head away as well, with Vincent trailing her. He gave me a wide smile and a wave, and mouthed, "I'll see you soon," while Sophia wished me a safe flight.
Once they were gone, Logan let out a long breath. "That escalated quickly," he mused.
"Why didn't you tell them that you'll be back after winter break?" I asked. "Vincent's proposing to me in December. After that, you can sign your resignation form and head back here."
Logan cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. "My father thinks that I should stay your bodyguard for a while longer," Logan informed me. "The attacks against you have increased a good amount--you've been targeted five times in the past six months. The agency believes that due to our similarities in curriculum, age, and background, I'll have a better chance of protecting you than anyone else."
"That's the most intellectual sentence I've ever heard out of your mouth," I joked. Logan picked up a clean fork that had been left behind and poked me in the arm with it. The teeth of the fork found its way through my black wool sweater so I flicked the plastic utensil away from me.
The good mood faded along with my grin as I thought about James' crushed look when he found out that Logan wouldn't be there to complete their academy years together.
"Are you sure about this?" I asked, tilting my head back to look up at the sky. The sun had set, but the pastel orange coat of the evening dusk was still there, though the color had begun to melt into the violet of the night.
"Park, you've become one of the most important people in my life," he sighed. "You're not just the girl that I--" Logan stopped all of a sudden and glancing over, I could see in the dimming light of the dusk that he had turned pink.
Then, he gave an awkward little cough. "You're not just the girl that I like, but you're my friend. I will do anything to keep you alive, even if that means..."
"Your salary better be worth leaving home," I muttered as I looked back up to the sky. I was tempted to turn on the lights that Elijah strung up around the rooftop garden, but the darkness came with a serenity that I didn't want to disrupt.
The two of us sat in silence for the longest time. I connected the constellations that I could see as the night grew darker. With every passing moment, our breathing began to align and I felt my eyes growing lazy.
"So," I spoke, remembering what I needed to do, "what did you get me for my birthday?"
"Me."
"Can I get a refund?"
He proceeded to give me a light push (and by light, I mean I nearly fell off the chair). The bag in my lap nearly fell onto the floor as I attempted to retain my balance and my laughter died off as the envelope fell into my hand.
I placed it in front of him. "This is for you."
Logan sat upright and hesitantly took the envelope off the table. He turned it over in his hands and looked at me, waiting for me to explain.
"Open it tomorrow--not tonight. That's an order. You cannot open until tomorrow morning. Guard it with your life until then."
"You know, whenever you're trying to be mysterious, I get very scared," he laughed, though I could hear a nervous vibe ringing underneath his words.
"Be very scared, then," I said. "That envelope will decide the fate of the world."
"No wonder you're not supposed to keep it."
"Excuse you, I am responsible enough to keep the fate of the world on my shoulders."
"Sparrow, you can barely keep yourself safe, what makes you think you can save the world?"
I made a noise in the back of my throat. "Harry Potter was in constant danger but he saved the wizarding world from Voldemort."
"I don't think my salary is enough for me to put up with your terrible analogies," he said. I gave him a shove and Logan started laughing, a sound that made my chest ache. He turned to me and gave me a big smile before he leaned back in his chair. I watched him lounge underneath the stars, seeming so content with his future.
I'm never going to hear him laugh like this around me ever again, I thought, blinking away tears. He began talking about the first thing he'd do when he was back in Cimeria, but all I could think about was how much I was going to miss Logan.
It was a thought that never left my mind for the rest of the night.
* * *
Logan
The following morning, Logan was very confused and extremely alarmed when he heard someone shout his name through the speakers connected to the front gates of his home. Logan didn't often get guests at his house--especially unexpected ones.
James, Josh, and Mark all knew better than to just show up because Logan tended to treat the unexpected with brute force. Also, the three were furious at him for choosing to leave--James had refused to answer any of Logan's calls after he dropped Park off at her house last night.
Logan let go of his suitcase and wandered over to the device installed by the front door. Surprise ran through him when he saw that it was Minnie and Zen standing by the gates, not dressed in their school uniform, bickering with each other over whether or not they should scale the gate.
Quickly, he entered the key to open the gate and watched as the two entered the premises. This was strange. Though Logan had no problem with Minnie and Zen, he just wasn't close enough to them for the two to show up on his doorstep, unannounced.
This was also a big inconvenience because in fifteen minutes or so, he'd be on his way to the airport where he would be heading back to Cimeria.
Park, he thought with dread. Something must've happened.
He threw open his front door and charged down the steps, braking before Minnie and Zen, his heart hammering unevenly behind his ribs.
"Is Park okay?" he asked.
"She's absolutely fine," Zen answered, appraising Logan with an expression Logan couldn't identify. "The real question is, are you?"
"What do you mean, am I okay? What's going on?"
"You haven't opened the envelope," Minnie guessed, narrowing her hazel eyes. She arched an eyebrow at Zen and Logan recognized the look on their faces--it was pity.
"I was going to read it on the way to the airport," Logan said, understanding that they were talking about the envelope Park had enigmatically passed onto him.
"Bad idea," said Zen, who shook his head vigorously. "Read it now."
"Why?" Logan glanced between the two. "I was just finishing up making sure I had everything packed. Can this wait? I have to get to the airport."
"Logan," Minnie said, her voice gentler and kinder than Logan had ever heard it been, "trust us. Read it now."
Suspicious, and slightly freaked out, Logan lead the two back to his house, where he took them to the kitchen. The envelope sat on the counter by his coffee, and it suddenly seemed too dangerous to open. Nevertheless, he ripped one end open and pulled out two pieces of paper. One had printed text, the other was written in a neat, elegant scrawl, identical to Park's handwriting. So Logan picked that one up first.
Dear Logan,
If you're reading this, then it means that I am dead.
Logan's vision went red. He almost stopped reading until he glimpsed the next sentence, and realized it was Park's sick idea of a joke.
I'm only joking--please read through this entire thing before you go destroy something. Or someone.
Okay, let's start over: if you're reading this, then the truth is that last night, I hopped on a plane to the LAX with a dream and a cardigan--but more accurately, it was a plane headed to the Riveria International Airport. As you're reading this, I'm headed home.
I know that you wanted to come with me and I know that right now, you're probably exploding with anger. I know that I took away your choices, but Logan, I couldn't let you follow me. Every moment you spend with me is a waste of your potential. You were meant to do amazing things, Logan Cross, and guarding me isn't one of them.
You have such a great future ahead of you. You also have history in this city. You grew up here, surrounded by people who admire you, care for you, support you. You started something here and you can't leave without seeing it through. You're meant to finish the beginning of your life here before you start the next chapter. And one day, I can see you as the head of XYZ. You won't ever be tied down as a bodyguard. You might even join the Order of the Dragons.
Maybe we'll meet in the future again and forget the idiots we were at this time. Maybe one day, you'll take out this letter and just smile because our time together was great, but it's done and over with. You'll be glad that you didn't stick around for any longer because it would've been a waste of your time, spending what could be your glory years guarding a girl like me.
I'll miss you. I don't think a day will go by for quite some time that I won't think of you. I'll miss fighting and arguing with you over the silliest things, or going on rants that I know, deep down, you loved. Did you know that sometimes I argued with you purely to hear you laugh? You have the best smile, Logan, so don't ever stop finding ways to be happy.
I never expected this. I didn't expect that when I headed back to Cimeria, there'd be people I'd miss with every bone in my body. I didn't expect to leave with Logan Cross on my mind because we started out as enemies. That's the thing--enemies aren't supposed to fall for each other. So maybe this is the universe's way of telling us that things need to go back in order.
I'd tell you that I l--
I can't write the "L" word in a letter. That's just pathetic and unfair. I'd have to say it in person but since that isn't happening... I Lettuce You? Ew, no, I hate lettuce. I Legolas You. There. It's painfully geeky enough that you'll try and forget about it because it's so dumb.
It's time for me to say goodbye. I wish you the best of luck that a Cimerian can come by. I'll pray that you'll stay safe every time I hear that you've taken on a mission. I want you to be happy, Logan, because you deserve the world. And I hope you'll find someone you'll want to fight till the end for.
It's just that person won't be me.
Yours truly,
Park Sparrow.
"She can't do this," Logan stuttered the moment he read her name, which had a gigantic blot right beside it, which Logan suspected to be a tear stain. "I'm her bodyguard. I can't go anywhere without her. This isn't possible...this isn't..."
She wouldn't, he thought as he glanced at the typed piece of paper. She wouldn't go this far.
Shaking, he picked it up. His eyes scanned the words, the sentences blurring together before him as he struggled to keep his eyes dry. At the very bottom, he saw Park's signature. Right next to it was his name. His signature.
He never signed this.
Logan' couldn't keep count of how many times he read the resignation form. Five. Ten. Thirty. Fifty. In the end, he knew this was true. Park was gone and Logan had been left behind.
It's time for me to say goodbye.
I don't want to say goodbye, Logan thought miserably. I don't want to let you go.