You can all spit on his face like you did on mine
But at the same time try to look back
On the first gash you have made
Then you will see there is evil in every mind
Shame ~ Pale Grey
Tyler
~ Warning: some violence up ahead - it's not too bad (in my mind at least) but I'll put another ickle warning around it ~
A slap. That's what it took to wake me up. A slap from someone who'd haunted my nightmares for years.
"Long time no see," Korey said with a smile I'd once cherished.
Emphasis on the word once.
"I could've done with longer time."
I scanned my surroundings, on the look out for danger other than Korey. It was a large room, with grey walls and technology I couldn't even begin to understand. Korey himself was dressed in pristine white suit that made him cold and harsh to look at. He seemed to have a smile fixated on his face, seeming more and more menacing with each second that passed. Every so often he would fiddle with the smart watch on his wrist, evidently sending messages to someone as he spoke to me.
"Hey, I know you don't think that. I can see it in your eyes. You're happy to be with me."
"I thought you'd died."
"Yeah, sorry about that. To be fair, I thought the same about you. You weren't exactly easy to find."
"How did you survive Vegas? I looked for you but..."
"Come on, you should know by now people are always willing to help children. You were rescued yourself."
"Yes but who rescued you?"
"That's not important right now."
"Was it Monty?"
He gave out a short laugh, his head shooting backwards to emphasis how ludicrous he thought I was. "Oh, so that's what you're calling him now? Trying to distance yourself from being a Yokela?"
"Of course I am. Who in their right mind would want to be one of us?"
"You'd be surprised. So many people say they're a Yokela these days. They're worshipped for a week until someone has the bright idea to check, and realises they're nothing more than a sheep farmer. Not that there's anything wrong with being a sheep farmer, it's just a life many would avoid. And ours is a life most would desire."
"I doubt that very much. No one wants to be an elemental, let alone a Yokela."
"The name still has significance. Last week people were literally bowing for me."
"Sounds terrific."
"It is. You'd love it."
"I'm not about that life."
He smirked. "Oh but you will be."
After a pause, he said "It wasn't dad who saved me. He went running the moment the massacre began. But he's not moving anymore. He'll be of no concern from now on."
"What did you do?"
"Don't be shady. I did nothing."
"You control this... whatever this is. You must've done something."
"Honey I'm not in control here. I've got power but not all of it. There's a higher authority than me."
"I'm guessing that's the person who found you at Vegas?"
He grinned. "You know it."
He lowered his wrist after pressing a final few buttons, and started to make his way towards me. "Now if you'll let me-"
"Stay away from me-" I crawled away as quickly as I could, only to find a wall pushed against my back.
"Don't you want me to help you?"
"I can help myself."
"We both know you can't. Not as well as I can. Especially with metal around your wrists."
I ignored him, even though he was right. My hands were at awkward angles, because in certain positions the pain of my bruises became more obvious. But I did manage to channel my powers to my fingertips eventually. Fire leapt out my fingers. I winced at the sharp pain inflicted by the flames, smouldering my skin together.
Korey's hands came into view, covering my own to cancel out the heat. His voice was far softer when he said "Here, let me help."
He moved my hands out the way as an amber glow was emitted from his palms. The glow touched my mangled skin, lacing the broken edges together. He displayed a type of graceful gentleness I'd never witnessed before. I couldn't help but admire it. Slowly but surely I was healing. In more than one sense.
But with everything going on, I still found myself enraged with him. "Why did you attack me like that in the first place?"
"It wasn't my idea. I was planning on leading you calmly to the car, by choice. Connor just got a bit excited. You remember Connor, don't you?"
"How could I forget," I muttered.
"Mm, he is unforgettable, isn't he."
"And unforgivable." If I ever got my hands on him, I'd see to it that he was never excited again.
Korey let out a break of laughter. "God you're so stubborn these days. Can't you just let things go? I find it's an easier way to live."
"The last time you let something go it hurt others."
He met my burning glare for a moment. He knew what I was talking about. The time he let go of the trigger and shot me.
"I thought you'd gotten over that. It was years ago. I told you it was a mistake the second after it happened. You can't even see the wound any more."
"Only because I covered it with a tattoo."
I rolled up my sleeve, showing the tattoo on my dirty wrist. His eyes widened in admiration, cold fingers grazing my skin as he traced the flames that licked the phoenix's feathers. "That's very cool. Quite symbolic. You know, most say phoenix's rise more than once. Maybe it's time for you to begin again."
I didn't dignify that with a response. I had re-risen, this time with the love of my life. Korey couldn't change that. It'd already happened, marked on my heart like another tattoo.
He moved on, continuing with the healing spells. I saw the edges of my skin glow brightly as tissues wove together in the complex structure people never appreciated. It was painless, just like every other time he'd healed me. From even the earliest of memories I had, Korey had always been a good healer. Far better than me. That wasn't hard though. "Do you remember when I'm there was an injured frog in the garden?"
His eyes lightened up. "Oh my goodness yes. You said you were going to heal the animal for once, and you ended up-"
"-Putting the legs on backwards," we said at the same time, and laughed.
"At least I managed to sort that mess out... After breaking the other leg."
A fit of howling laughter burst out from up both. It was a noise I was long overdue to hear. It was just like old times.
Old times.
That brought me back. I didn't want to remember them. Repress and forget - that was my life's motto. But memories like that of the frog were priceless, and our time together had been precious, despite everything. And even though it still hurt me to acknowledge, I'd missed him.
By that time the wound was fully closed, with no scar to be seen. With everything whizzing round my mind, I was still impressed.
"See? I've only ever been looking out for you - don't. We don't need to being up the gun incident again."
I was mildly shocked to find that hadn't even been on my mind.
Korey was standing now, looking to the side with sorrow evident from his eyes. "I've been trying to find you for ages. Ever since you and Jackie went on the down low I've spent my time trying to find you. Other's helped but I knew it'd come down to to me and you. It always has done."
"Which others?"
"Just others. People who care - genuinely care. Not like you're so-called friends. Or some shitty resistance."
That was where he lost me again. But he didnt know that then.
"We want to restore our name to its former glory. I have to help fight the system, and that's an easy method to do so. But I can't do this alone. You want to be Yokela again, don't you? To say the name with pride, to see the hope in other's eyes when they hear-"
"The name doesn't matter to me."
"You never you used to think that... Did he tell you that?"
"He?"
"Your twink."
He clicked his fingers. What I'd thought was a black wall lit up, revealing it was in fact a one-way mirror. On the opposite side was Troye.
My breath caught in my throat. He'd been tied down to a chair, head lolling from side to side in an uneasy sleep. I could see a drip attached to his arm. Perhaps that was what was keeping unconscious. He looked battered from what'd happened before, but I was grateful to see he wasn't too badly off.
But he might not be for much longer.
I rushed forward to the glass. I had to wake him before they hurt him. I had to break down the glass. I had to get to him.
But something held me back. I lurched forward with all my might, just to fall down. Shackles. Tied to my ankles. Manacles. I tried to move forward, but I was still too faraway to even graze the glass.
"Oh boo, did you really think I'd let you go about unchained? Don't you know me at all?"
I looked back at him, feeling the weight of hope be lifted from me. "That's the thing, isn't it. I don't know you. At all. What happened to you?"
"I grew up."
"No, you've been manipulated. Who's in control here Korey? I want to help you, really I do. But not if I don't know who-"
He waved his hand in a dismissive gesture."I told you, that's not important. But you and I are."
"See, here's the thing. I need your help to restore the name. It's respected by some but we need it to be respected by more - by so many that we can overthrow the government with the power of words. Two is better than one. We'll rise like phoenixes, to fix the system and reinstate ourselves to our rightful place."
"You're gonna have to tell me more about this "brilliant" plan."
"We're planning on making adverts to show we're back. Speeches to other countries to raise awareness of the situation here. Protests, posters... You name it, we're on it.
"I can see your reaction and it's not pretty. but that's not all. Of you agree to help, your precious twink bottom won't get hurt. But if not..."
He pressed a button down on his smart watch, and in walked several people. They wore white jackets, less sophisticated than Korey's, and some had batons hanging from their belts. The stood to attention, betraying no emotion. I wasn't overly surprised to see Connor there too, making an effort to not look at me.
"If you don't agree to stand with me, for us, then these wonderful workers won't hesitate to hurt him."
"I'm not siding with you."
"I was hoping you'd say that."
He smiled at the uniformed people. "You know what to do."
They marched through a different door, which led them to the same room as Troye's. They circled round the chair he was sleeping in. One took out the drip from his arm. They started cracking their knuckles, causing abhorrent popping noises. Troye began to stir. One started a count down on their fingers. It took me too long to realise what the count down was for.
~ Violence ~
Slow motion kicked in as I saw the first person raise a strong indimidating hand. It clenched into a tight fist. It connected with Troye's jaw, pushing his face towards us. It left an angry welt. Troye's eyes shot open. He sat like stone, completely shocked by what was happening. When he went to move his hand to the wound, just to find his arms were tied behind back.
Another person - Connor - came forward. Concentrating all of his anger into one blow, another hit was made defenceless Troye straight in the stomach. He successfully knocked the air out of his lungs. He looked proud if himself.
The next went forward, raising a baton this time. They stood over Troye, who's eyes were alight with fear.
"Stop them. Korey I beg of you-"
"Only if you agree to cooperate."
I couldn't do that. I knew I couldn't. All I could do was watch in silent horror as it continued to unfurl. Echoes of moans of agony and sorrow were muffled by the petrifying pounding sounds of group inflicting pain on Troye. A small puddle of scarlet seeped out of his nose, followed by tear drops of torment.
"We could do extraordinary things Ty."
I shook my head, my own tears running to the edge of my terrified face. "I don't want to help you. Not like this."
"It's only because of him. He's the one that told you that."
More hits. More screams.
"But I can fix that. I can fix you."
"I don't need fixing!"
They were hitting him with more force now. I could hear the loud thumps as his skin changed from ivory to blue.
"You do. You just don't know it yet."
They continuously hit his face. Sometimes with batons, sometimes with hands. Vibrant red blood began to ooze from his mouth. A horrifying crack rippled through the air as one evidently broke his nose.
"Just let him go!"
"I will, when you agree to cooperate and let me fix you."
Troye's mouth opened to scream, but he could no longer make a noise. His eyes rolled back, so all I could see was redness. He was too drained to cry any more. Another hit. Another ounce of blood. A body jerk. Another bruises. Never ending suffering. It'd never stop. Never.
Not until I agreed.
~ End of Violence ~
"FINE! I AGREE! JUST STOP IT!"
Korey pressed another button on his smart watch. The people came to halt. They withdrew their weapons, and most took a step back. Connor decided to finish the onslaught by kicking the chair - sending Troye down with a loud bang. All of them casually wiped their hands on their trousers, until their hands were clean from guilt.
But if you looked closely you could still see the blood under their nails.
One by one they filed out the room again, leaving a barely conscious Troye squirming in his chair that lay discarded on the floor. Blood dripped onto his bruised lips but he had no abiltit to wipe it away. He just remained twitching on the floor
"Let me go to him. Please. He needs help."
Korey strolled around, making no effort to remove my chains. "I think I might need to up the conditions. Your clearly too attached to him. You remember what dad always said - never love enough to loose enough."
"I can't change how I feel."
"No. But you can change your memories."
*
After a lengthy heart-wrenching exchange, I was finally allowed into the room with Troye. I was face to face with a depressed deity, no longer tied down to the chair. He was healing himself, blood and bruises slowly clearing up.
The door closed behind me, and he stood up in a hurry. His fear-stricken expression vanished the moment he laid eyes on me. "Tilly!"
He ran into me, arms around my necks in seconds. I wrapped him up in my own, glad to be with him once more. "Oh my god I thought I was alone here."
"You're never alone. Not really."
He lessened his hold, leaning back and taking a hold of my forearms as he looked me in the eye. "What are we doing here?"
"Korey wants me to join him. Something about the glory of Yokela's."
He frowned, meaning to speak before the door swung open. Troye froze in my arms.
Korey breezed in, smiling at the two of us like a sly cat. "Hello Troye. Good to see you're healing up pretty fast."
Troye warmed up quickly, leaving my arms in an irate state to get closer to Korey. "What the fuck is your problem?"
"Me? I have no problem. At least, not one I can't solve."
"That's what Monty used to say."
Why did he keep using his words? Was he trying to be Monty - like hell did we need another.
Korey cocked his head to one side. "Why do you keep calling him by his first name? Are you that ashamed to be his son?"
Troye stopped breathing. So did I. I closed my eyes, wishing I had the power to disappear. Or time travel. Mainly time travel. Because then I could've stopped Korey telling the only secret I had left.
Korey looked between us, amused. "Oh, you didn't tell him, did you? Of course not. Otherwise you wouldn't be so against Monty."
Troye slowly turned to me, and spoke in the worst tone possible - one of complete serenity. "Tyler, what's he talking about?"
Behind him Korey's smile got larger. "Go on, Tyler. Tell him."
With a momentary glare at Korey, I looked over at Troye. "It's like Korey said. I'm not Monty's nephew. I'm his son."
What passed between us a long cold stare and a shattering of hearts.
"I'm sorry. But it's true. That's why we lived with Monty for so long. He was my father. I meant to tell you but it was never a good time. What with all the things that have been happening, it wasn't a priority."
"But he didn't have son named Tyler. He had one named Korey and one named Mathew."
"It me. Mathew Tyler Yokela."
"So your middle name isn't Destruction after all. It's Tyler?" he let out a short laugh, but it was rung out cold - colder than a winter storm. "So what are you two? Brothers?"
"Half-brothers actually. Korey has a different mother. Don't know her though."
"No one does," Korey helpfully added.
"Hm," was all Troye said.
"Troye-"
"Why didn't you tell me till now? It would've been so easy to tell me before, on the day you told me "everything". What difference does it make that your his son?"
It dawned on me then that he was from another country, and most likely oblivious to the goings in this country before he moved. "You don't know, do you?"
"Probably not, seeing as you seem to be incapable of telling me who your father even is."
I tried to get over the jarring tone, replying as firmly as I could. "If you were from here you'd know why it's such a bad thing. We weren't - aren't - good people. Yes we helped in a couple of ways but we took so much more than we gave. Monty was notorious for hunting trips, to seek out people he didn't like. Troye, I've killed people."
He turned away from me, but not fast enough for me to not glimpse the quivering lips. Time trickled by ever so slowly. Korey and I studied his crumpling shape before his back straightened and, without looking round, he asked "How many?"
"I can't remember. That's how bad I was."
"Which people?"
"Does it matter? Murder is never okay."
He spun round, eyes redder than a sunset. "So why did you do it then?"
"I had to. Or at least I thought I did. I always had a choice though. They were radicals from other parties that we were fighting against, so Monty, and a lot of other people, wanted rid of them. I should've said no. It would've meant Monty getting mad, doing god knows what, but then they would've lived. But I'm selfish, and I care more about myse-"
"No."
"No? What do mean no? Troye, listen to me-"
"No, you listen to me. You were selfish, but not now. I don't care about before. I thought I did but I really don't. It's not important. You can belittle yourself all you want but I won't take it. You're not like him. Even though I know now, you still don't call him dad. Maybe you were selfish once, but not now. Now you're Tyler. And I hate you, but I love you more."
"Really?"
He rolled his eyes, a hint of joy returning to his face. "Of course I do you numpty!"
I took attentive steps closer. He didn't flinch, or try to get away. Once I reached him I kissed his chapped lips as gently as I could. "I love you too."
"Oh how sweet," Korey cooed, malice enriching his tone. "I see why you liked this one. Shame it has to end."
We both turned to face him. I hated him. With a burning passion. I wasn't allowed to be happy. Not unless it was because of him.
"You see Troye, Mathew- sorry, Tyler - and I have come to an arrangement. Well, sort of. I gave him an offer and he accepted."
"It was blackmail."
"If that's how you want to look at it fine. But a deals a deal. And you made it."
Troye squeezed my hand. "Tyler, what is it? What was the deal?"
"I have to burn our memories. All the ones of us together."
Troye's hand slipped from mine He looked like a rabbit in the headlights, blinking several times before managing to utter "What?"
"It's the only way to make them stop. Troye, you'll be safe I swear."
"But I don't want to forget. Don't I get a choice? It's my body."
"I'm sorry. You're right of course, you have a choice. But they'll hurt you, if you don't forget. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if they hurt you."
"But you can live with yourself without me? Oh, I see. you won't realise you're without me."
Korey gave a short round of applause. "Well done Troye. Give yourself a gold star. It's not a normal mind wipe though. I have a new string of memories for you both here." He opened up his hands, showing ruby strands of fake thoughts soon to be woven into our minds.
"Korey thinks you've corrupted me and if I forget you I'll be back to my old self. For what it's worth, I think the opposite. You've helped me so much. I can never repay you for that. And I never will now."
"But I love you." His voice was barely above a whisper now.
"And I love you. But things have to go this way. I promise this will work out for best."
"Ty-"
"Just trust me on this one."
His expression softened, head tilting slightly to one side. "I'll always trust you."
I lent forward, lips saying farewell in the most tragic of sorrows. I'd miss his smile; I'd miss his stupid comments; I'd miss his hand in mine. I'd miss him. Every single part. Flaws and all. He was all I'd ever wanted, and I was so grateful for our little infinity. I'd never thought I'd be lucky enough to love and be loved in return.
But it had to end. Of course it did. Every good thing ends eventually. We'd love too much. And now I was to be alone.
Actually it was worse than that. I was going to be with Korey.
Purple mist escaped our open mouths are our tongues collided in the most haste of kisses. We were desperate not to forget, to make this moment last longer than us.
But we knew couldn't.
And then it was time.
My hands ran through his messy curls. I grasped onto the base of his head, getting a firm grip as I figured out what to do. Troye tensed up we kept kissing through it all. I concentrated on what I needed, and felt a thread- the thread of our time together.
As it passed through my fingers, the memories flashed through my mind. Running. Tent. Trains. Bedsheets. Cars. Beach. Bouquet. Family. River. Laughter. Moonlight. Dancing. Singing. Fog. Hill. Violin. Lesson. Power. Chemistry.
Just love. Pure, unadulterated love.
And then the thread came to an end. I clenched it tightly as it began to fade away. Troye fell limp in my arms. I moved us down to the floor, holding him up as he grew weaker and weaker. I whispered in his ear trying to let him remember - hoping on every single star that he'd remember.
A grey cloud of recollections rose above, soon to be lost forever. I pressed my head into the nook of his neck, breathing him in until I could no longer feel the vibrations of his pulse. My own was starting to slow too. I wished I could remember everything. But already my mind was hazy around the edges. I knew I wouldn't be able to recall any of it for much longer, not when sleep was on the horizon.
By the time I managed to look up at Korey consciousness was running away from me, and I'd never felt more weary.
"Are you happy now?"
Korey looked down at the body in my lap. I thought his eyes seemed woeful for a moment, but it must've been the light - or my broken memory. Just before the curtain of sleep pulled across my eyes he looked over at me.
He grinned. "Very."
A/N
Is it all ogre now for Troyler? Find out next time.
This is unedited but I don't know when my next chance to update will be so I figured I'd write this at 11:30 because why not?
I'd like to say a HUGE thank you to everyone for the lovely comforting words last chapter. I'm happy to say after spending a long talking things through with my cousin I think I'm finally understanding who I am. Although I still think "fuck labels" for the most part, I feel a lot more comfortable in my skin and I would like to say now that I believe I am pansexual. I've thought it for a while, and although I wouldn't say I fit every part 100%, it feels right to identify myself as pan. Is that a thing? I don't know.
But honestly the support you guys have given me makes my heart swell and I might've shed a few tears but you'll never know I'm a strong independent woman after all.
I spent a bit of today using the soundcloud thingy-magigy so that the songs at the beginning of chapters could be played. Some of the songs are originals, but some are remixes because I couldn't find the original, and some just have nothing. Honestly I just did it as a way to procrastinate from writing this which worked out pretty well.
Speaking of music, I do have a question for you all (this is not a usual segment but hush now): what are some of your music recommendations? I like finding new music and I'd like some suggestions because, from what I've gathered, you all have a fabulous taste in music and I'd love to know about some of the other music you guyzzles like :)
(for anyone who wants my own suggestions, at the moment I've been obsessed with Circa Waves, Little Comets, Pale Grey, and PVRIS - you should check them out, if you want to of course)
Anyways, see you petits pois soon ^-^
Emma x
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