Noah and I spent the next few weeks preparing for tour. He had long meetings with the guys and I was trying to fit in as many appointments for the blog as I could. This week alone I had been to an ice cream shop, vegan restaurant and two different bars.
Bad Omens' tour was going to be forty two cities in the states before we went to Europe to hit thirty more cities.
Despite how busy our lives were Noah never dropped the ball with me. He made time everyday to decompress. Sometimes, it was just saying how exhausted we were while we lay in bed together.
He made time to take me out, and much to my chagrin made time to take me hiking at spots close to LA. I would never know what I had done to get to come home everyday to such a wonderful man. We still fought, almost daily, but that was half the fun of being with him.
I didn't let him get away with anything, and likewise he didn't let me either.
I wasn't sure about living out of a suitcase for the next two months, but I was currently on our bed trying to figure out how to pack enough and not too much at the same time. Noah has been out all day, and hasn't been much help with what I needed. So, I've just been staring at two large empty suitcases while I reread Animal Farm.
I hear the door open and close and a few minutes later Noah appears in the door way.
"You look like you are hard at work," he smirks at my tattered book and plops onto the bed beside me.
"I was feeling overwhelmed, so I decided to read to calm my mind," I tell him and sit the book on the table next to the bed.
"You could just pack lingerie and we could turn the bus into a sex dungeon that you never get to leave and constantly get to please me," Noah feigns thoughtfully before kissing my neck and pinning me to the bed.
"Nice try," I try to say, but it comes out a moan. I push him off of me, "I really need to get this done."
Uncharacteristically, I had procrastinated much too long, we were leaving tomorrow.
"Fine, you pack everything else, I'll pack that blue number that I love on you," Noah winks and digs through my undergarment drawer to find my favorite night gown.
"You are a big help," I tell him throwing a pair of socks at him.
"Ah ha!" He says and drops the piece into my suitcase.
"Go make yourself useful and make us dinner while I do this," I shove him out of our bedroom and really give my stuff a good look.
I decide I've been looking at this too hard and just grab all of my favorite things. Throwing a cocktail dress and a few things that I don't think I will actually need but want to be prepared just in case.
"Laney, foods ready," Noah calls down the hall.
I'm satisfied as I zip up the second suitcase and jog down the stairs.
"Did you finish?"
I nod my head as I fix my plate. I sit next to Noah on the couch and he puts on an episode of a show we've been watching.
"Tonight is going to be the last normal night we have for a while, huh?"
He nods as he chews his food, "you don't know how happy I am that you wanted to come with me."
"Well I don't hate that you couldn't bear the thought of being away from me either," I laugh at him.
"It's just like you to take something I say as a joke," he rolls his eyes at me.
"I am who I am," I shrug at him.
He shakes his head at me as we finish our meal and the tv show.
"Are you ready for bed? We have to be up early."
I tell him I am and follow him to our room. He takes my bags and sits them next to the door with his own bags he had placed there earlier.
I lay with my head on his chest as he hums softly, the sound vibrating his chest, and he runs his fingers through my hair. I'm almost out within seconds, but before I doze completely under I hear him mutter to himself.
"I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."
Six am comes differently on the west coast, even though it's eight Nashville time I'm struggling to get awake.
"Fuck off," I hear Noah grumble, his voice raspy as he turns off our alarm.
"You tell it," I quip, my own voice is hoarse from sleep.
"You can fuck right off too," he says, and pulls me closer to him, completely contradicting what he just said.
We finally pull ourselves out of bed and get ready. The bus would be here in an hour.
Noah gets a text from Jolly saying the bus has just pulled up to the curb. Noah grabs our bags and I lock up, I follow behind him as he climbs onto the bus.
The bands first show is in Sacramento, only a few hours away, but we have to get there early for them to do sound check. The crew is already there, building the set. Noah and I talked about me still doing the blog on the road, but I have decided to take it easy for a few weeks. I still want to visit places and write, but I want to do it in a way that I will enjoy.
The bus is incredibly swanky. The floor is dark marble, with black leather couches to the right and leather recliners on the left. Centered above the couches and the recliners are two TVs the size of the wall. Further back there's a picnic style table with benches, more black marble and black leather covers the dining area. There's a large fridge and a small oven. The cabinets are already stocked with my favorite snacks. There's a bar with only Kettle One and Macallan. Continuing back there's two sliding doors, small built in closets, and on the left is a bathroom. It's small, but decked out in black marble and the shower looks big enough to use comfortably. Beyond that is a cluster of oversized bunks, Jolly, Noah, Sage and I are sharing this bus. The Nick's are using the other bus with the photographer and the sound engineer.
It's a little bit like being on a cruise ship, but also nothing like that as I try to stand and put our things away in the small closets. Noah has already crawled into a bunk and has already passed back out.
I'm very tired, but I'm too excited to sleep, so I grab a Bang from the kitchen and get to work organizing things. Because I'm feeling a bit out of control and I need to get a handle on something.
I'm just finishing the unpacking when Noah gets up from his nap.
"How are you feeling?" he asks. He grabs some water from the fridge and turns to look at me.
"Honestly, out of control and a little car sick," I tell him sitting down at the table.
"You could go home any time you want, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable," he frowns.
"I want to be here, with you, I just need some time to adjust. You have been this whirlwind in my life for five years and I'm starting to wonder if the dust is ever going to settle," I tell him, looking at my hands.
"Probably not," he says honestly taking a seat across from me. I nod, because I know, I just need to voice these things sometimes.
"I signed up for this right?"
Noah's frown deepens.
"Stop frowning, I'm okay, just overwhelmed."
Noah smiles at this, but I can see he's not convinced. I can tell he's trying to fix me, but I don't need fixing I just need an ear.
The bus pulls to a stop and I see we are parked on the curb of the Golden 1 center.
"Looks like we're here, do you want to stay here or come inside?"
"I definitely want to come in."
"Good, you can tell me if I suck," he wraps an arm around me and leads us off the bus.
"Don't worry, I will," I jab his side.
Noah and I walk in behind Sage and Jolly, who slept the whole ride here. I squeeze him once and step back to let him take pictures with the crowd of people that have come over. I watch as he speaks to each one of them, sparing his time to take pictures and send messages to their friends.
Noah waves goodbye to the fans and he drapes an arm over my shoulders and we continue into the arena. Matt is waiting for us backstage and immediately starts giving instructions to Noah on changes.
I only catch half the things he's barking out as Noah nods and slips earpieces in. Noah and I walk onto the stage, I gasp at how intimidating it is just looking at that many empty seats. I can't imagine what it must be like to see it filled with bodies.
Noah takes place in front of the mic and the band files in. I wave at them and hop off the stage to watch from the front row. Tonight, I'll be watching from backstage, but for now I want to see Noah head on.
Noah runs through the set list, while I make faces at him to get him to laugh. It works every time and Matt points at me sternly. I mock him and Noah has to stop singing because he's actually laughing now. I smile triumphantly, because there's nothing I love more than making him laugh.
"He's never going to let you watch another soundcheck," Nick jokes when they're done.
"Oh, he will come to love me, he just pretends to be annoyed with me," I laugh and Nick joins in.
I follow Noah into a room, I sit on the couch drinking whiskey while I watch stylists and a hair and makeup team come in. I'm almost drunk by the time they're done. Noah and I join the rest of the band in a common area back stage. We all drink drinks and listen to the opening act.
Soon, it's time for Noah and the band to take the stage. He kisses me, and joins his band in a preshow chant. The band goes out first, it's dark and Noah has a theatrical entrance planned.
The noise in the arena is deafening. Between the band and the screaming fans the whole floor shakes. My heart swells as I watch them. Noah has got such an incredible stage presence, he might as well have been performing to each of them individually.
I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pull it out to see my mom was calling, it was too loud to answer so I shoved it back in my pocket, I will call her back from the bus.
I turned my attention back to Noah. He has a ski mask pulled over his face, but his smile wide as he turns his attention to me for a millisecond. I send one back at him, and I feel my phone ring again.
My mom was calling again, that was unlike her so I ducked back into Noah's dressing room.
"Mom? What's wrong?"
"Delaney, honey, there's been an accident."
I feel my heart stop as the air left my lungs.
"Who is it? What happened?" the hysteria bubbling up in my throat.
"Finn, he and Ashley were in a car wreck tonight,"
"He's okay right? Ashley too?"
"Baby, I'm sorry, they're both gone."
I hang the phone up, frantically looking for a piece of paper. I can't find anything, I stick my head into the hallway, tears running down my face.
"You! Can you find me a pen and paper?" I sob at a woman walking by, she nods and runs off only to return a moment later. I thank her and disappear again.
I quickly scribble words onto the paper for Noah.
I run to the bus, knocking frantically on the door. The driver opened quickly, "Ms Walker are you okay?"
I shake my head at him, I run to the back, grab a bag and a few things I can get my hands on as I simultaneously got an uber and a flight home.
"Where are you going?" The driver calls after me, noting a bag in my hand, looking almost relieved I hadn't grabbed all of my things.
"I have to go home."
I run down the block, searching for the black Altima that was picking me up.
The drive to the airport is short, and luckily I had gotten the last seat on a flight that was leaving in thirty minutes. I would be cutting it close, but I would be there just in time.
I speed through security and collapse in my seat just as they close the door behind me. My phone rings in my hand, Noah's face flashing on the screen.
"I'm so sorry," I whisper as I close my eyes and turn off my phone.