Y/N's Oneself [SATIRE]

By truthe0

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What happens with a girl who wants to be her own self and a Narrator who sees her as your stereotypical Y/N? ... More

Author's Note
Not even five minutes in
Who tf

Average Morning

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By truthe0

Normal Text- Y/N             𝘐𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘴- 𝘕𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳

⊹ ࣪ ˖

𝘔𝘺 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯. 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘱𝘦𝘦𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘭𝘶𝘦 𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴. 𝘉𝘭𝘶𝘦, 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭'𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘳'𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘬. 𝘐 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘣𝘭𝘶𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘪'𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮.

No, I like blue because it reminds me of pool water. Pool water's pretty. 

𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘶𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴? 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯'𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭𝘴.

Blah blooh bleh. 

𝘈𝘯𝘺𝘸𝘢𝘺, 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘵𝘰𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭- 𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘪𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘮.

Literally why. I know what I look like, I don't really need reminders.

𝘐 𝘢𝘥𝘮𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘰𝘤𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘭𝘶𝘦 𝘰𝘳𝘣𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨, 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘬𝘺 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘪𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘺 𝘣𝘶𝘯.

Last I remember, I had shoulder length black hair. Also I'm pretty sure my eyes are chocolate brown. Damn, now I want chocolate.

𝘚𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘩! 𝘔𝘺 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘦𝘬𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘶𝘧𝘧𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘤𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵. 

𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘐 𝘤𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨?

My favorite character died in one of the shows I was watching. That shit was depressing. 

𝘔𝘺 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘳 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘩 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘯. 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦. 𝘐 was crying 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘴.

... Before I was born?

𝘐 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘪𝘹 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘭𝘥. 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦. 𝘐 𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘣𝘭𝘶𝘦 𝘰𝘳𝘣𝘴 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘳. 𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘥𝘰 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘶𝘨𝘭𝘺?

I-

I change into a grey hoodie and black leggings, because I don't wear skirts. Like other girls.

Nuh uh. Nope. I'll be handling the clothes, buddy. I take out a kind of tight white shirt with full sleeves. It has a graphic design of some band on it. I pair that with black baggy pants. Baggy pants are the one love of my life. Oh, and sour candy. And books and manga. So maybe I have multiple loves that aren't people. 

These clothes 'not like other girls' for you?

Fine, I guess. I fly down the stairs, thinking of my horrible life. I see my grandmother in the kitchen, holding a bottle of wine. Her face is contorted in frustration. 

Seems grandma forgot to snort this morning.

𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘵!

Right, and I am loving your depiction of me.

𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦?

Nope.

𝘜𝘨𝘩. "𝘏-𝘩-𝘩𝘪, 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥-𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘮𝘢.." 𝘐 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳, 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘺. "𝘚𝘏𝘜𝘛 𝘜𝘗, 𝘠𝘖𝘜 𝘉𝘐𝘛𝘊𝘏!" 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘢𝘳𝘴. 𝘐 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘺 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘮𝘰𝘰𝘵𝘩 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴.

Woah, uncalled for. Anger management is a thing, gramms. 

𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘴 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘭𝘢𝘱𝘴 𝘮𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘮𝘺 4'3 𝘥𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘴.

Ow?? "The fuck was that for?" I mutter, placing a hand on my cheek. It's way too early for this. Also, I'm pretty sure I'm around 5'6-

"𝘠𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘥, 𝘤𝘶𝘯𝘵. 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶," 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘦.

I never asked for your forgiveness. I was legit six, don't know if you wanted me to fucking fireman lift my parents out of the car after it crashed. 

"𝘐-𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘰 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺, 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘮𝘢! 𝘐-𝘐 𝘥-𝘥-𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘰!" 𝘐 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳, 𝘮𝘺 𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩 𝘱𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘶𝘵𝘦. 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘪𝘵.

𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘦. "𝘠𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭, 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺." 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘳𝘬𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘴 𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘦, 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘨𝘭𝘢𝘥 𝘐 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦.

An almost eighty year old woman winking and smirking? My eyes are burning.

𝘐 𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘭𝘺 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘣 𝘮𝘺 𝘢 𝘱𝘪𝘦𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘰𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭 𝘣𝘢𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘶𝘯 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦. "𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘰 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦!" I shriek as I cutely munch on the toast.

Like, a plain piece of toast? Not even toasted? No jam, no Nutella, no nothing? 

𝘐 𝘳𝘶𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭, 𝘭𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘪'𝘮 𝘴𝘰 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘤.

Right, because running for five minutes is enough to die by exhaustion.

𝘐 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭. 𝘉𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥, 𝘐 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘧𝘦𝘸 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘴.

Why are we just standing here? Weren't we like, late? 

End of chapter one.

⊹ ࣪ ˖

What do you think of the first chapter? If you have any ideas for stereotypical scenarios or prompts, do tell, and it'll end up in a chapter.

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