The countryside passes by through the window in large blurs of color. Carver sits on the couch under the window in the dining car of the train. She has a plate of fruit and yogurt with granola. She pops the sweet honeydew into her mouth as she watches Eloise and Effie fawn over the upcoming tour destinations.
Finnick leans on the wall on the opposite side of the train car, watching Carver's facial expressions carefully. He notices her poking at her food while occasionally eating some of it. He knows she's upset, but doesn't feel that his prying questions will make her feel better.
"Fabulous food! Fabulous wine! Massages! Spa treatments!" Effie lists off with excitement. "We said nothing but the best for our three Victors." She says, grasping Eloise's hand. "It all has to be just…" She trails off, trying to find the right word.
"Fabulous." Haymitch growls, not looking up from his plate and glass of scotch.
"Exactly!" Eloise exclaims for her sister. "Now, the schedule's a bit of a killer– twelve days, twelve Districts. But... it's all parties, celebrations, and adoring fans to greet you at every stop! Then we wrap it up in the Capitol!" She explains, turning her head to address Peeta, Katniss, and Carver.
Carver knows all about parties and celebrations within the Capitol. The fuss of it is truly blown out of proportion as most of the time it is just primped up elitists trying to force themselves into the life of the most famous individual at the time. It's exhausting, and if she hates it, she knows both Katniss and Peeta are going to feel similarly. Sadly, it's all part of the process of the now never ending train that is their life.
Effie continues, "All you need to do is give a teensy little speech, wave to the crowds, and then sit back and enjoy your time in the spotlight. After all, you've earned it."
At that last sentence Carver cringes. She knows Effie doesn't mean anything negative by the sentiment, but by the look on Katniss's face, the message was clearly misconstrued. The last thing someone should say to a Victor of the games is that they've earned their success. Most people who have survived such a monstrous thing hate themselves for what they did, so hearing that they deserve it is offsetting.
"What did you say?" Katniss narrows her eyes.
Carver sighs, trying to come to the escorts defense, "Katniss–"
She is swiftly cut off by the younger girl holding up a hand to quiet her. Effie deflates, knowing Katniss is going to react poorly. "I said enjoy your time in the spotlight. You've earned it." She reiterates.
"By killing people." She reminds them with a disgusted look on her face. She rises from the table, anger evident on her face as she storms out of the car, leaving the table shocked.
"Young lady–" Effie tries to stop her but quickly retracts her attempt. "Poor thing is just exhausted." She tries to justify.
"She's not exhausted." Carver denies. "She's pissed, and rightfully so." She says, coming to Katniss's defense. "We're being told to celebrate the fact that our fame and riches are built on the backs of dead children. It's vile. It's easy for everyone to tell us to enjoy it when they didn't have to spill innocent blood to get it." She calmly throws a strawberry in her mouth before standing up as well. "I understand what you meant Effie, but it wasn't the best way to get her settled in." She turns on her heel and heads for the door, "I'll go talk to her."
Carver follows after Katniss, knowing how terrible she must be feeling. If there's one thing Carver is grateful about being sucked into the Capitol's games so early on is that she's become numb to the celebrations and praises. She knows the depth of darkness that takes permanent residence in her soul. Each life she took left its imprint, and she's aware that no amount of words could allow the light back in.
She walks into the last train car, the door sliding open with ease. The younger brunette stares out the window, not bothering to look behind her. "I'm not in the mood for a lecture. I'll apologize to Effie later–" She stops herself as Carver takes the open spot next to her on the long couch.
Katniss stares at Carver awkwardly, not expecting her to be the one to follow. She clears her throat, "I thought you were Haymitch."
"If I was Haymitch you would've smelled scotch before the door even opened." She breathes out sarcastically, leaning her head back on the cushions.
Katniss can't help the grin that appears on her lips at the wise comment. "I guess you're right."
"Listen," Carver begins seriously. "You don't owe anyone an apology. Especially me." She looks Katniss straight in the eyes causing the bow wielding seventeen year old to stare at her curiously. "I know I betrayed your trust, and as of right now, there is nothing I can say or do to earn it back. But I just want you to know that I'm sorry for leaving you guys the way that I did." She sighs, running a hand through her hair. "I can't go on acting like best friends in front of the camera when you hate me in real life."
"I don't hate you." Katniss counters.
"Well you certainly don't like me." Carver chuckles dryly. "I just figured that maybe I owe you a bit of an explanation... if you'll let me." She says with a hopeful expression.
Katniss looks taken aback by her kindness and decency. She allows herself to relax before silently nodding, giving Carver the go ahead to tell her story. Carver smiles delicately, "I can't give you all the pieces of the puzzle, but I can give you one. I stopped talking to you and Peeta because I had a conversation with President Snow."
The taller Victor feels her heart rate pick up at the mention of his name. Carver doesn't know, but he had paid her a visit as well right before they all got ready to go on camera in Twelve. Katniss shifts in her seat, knowing that telling Carver about her own personal visit won't help anything so she keeps her mouth shut. She stares at her blankly, awaiting for her to continue.
"I was instructed not to communicate or see either of you until the Victory Tour, and that's why I fell off the grid." She reveals. "And I'm sure you can do the math as to why I followed his orders." Katniss nods in response, knowing exactly why. "But the last thing I want is for us to hate each other. We are the only three who experienced the same games. We are connected in a special way. Now I don't like to get sappy, but I liked it better when you trusted me. When we were friends."
Katniss finally speaks up, picking at her nails. "I'm not really good at friends."
"Great." Carver grins. "Neither am I. That's why we got along so well." She scoots closer to the angry teenager. "We don't need all the get-to-know-you crap. I think we understand each other on a different level. Now, I don't need you to trust me again right away, but I was hoping you'd be willing to think about it eventually."
After a short pause, "Okay." Katniss gives in hesitantly. "Thank you for being honest."
"I figured that was a good first step." Carver shrugs before looking out the window and noticing a Welcome to District Eleven gate that stands above the speeding train. "I guess we're here." She points out, excitement completely absent from her tone.
The train enters a tunnel, the darkness around them is broken by intermittent flashes of faulty electrical wiring. Katniss and Carver watch the scene unfold around them when a large graffiti symbol appears on the side of the tunnel.
The Mockingjay.
Katniss shoots up from her seat, "Did you see that?"
Carver follows her actions and slowly stands. Her eyes widen, "Yeah, I saw it."
The two girls share a concerned look, but say nothing of it. The train emerges from the tunnel and as they enter the District Eleven side of the fence they notice it is much more armed and guarded. Carver holds her breath as the number of Peacekeepers in the District seem to have doubled as well as newly installed razor wire, machine guns, and bunkers. The sky is a gloomy shade of gray, emphasizing the state of lockdown Eleven seems to be in.
"What the hell...?" Carver mumbles quietly, turning to look out every side of the window.
"Guys." Peeta's voice calls them out of their shock. "We have to go. The motorcades are here to take us to the Justice Building."
The two girls hesitantly follow after Peeta, making their way to the exit door. Finnick notices the look of confusion on Carver's face and he immediately places a hand on her lower back as the large group piles out of the train. She feels calmer at the older man's touch, but it's taken from her as Haymitch and Finnick are both instructed to load into another vehicle. Eloise, Effie, Peeta, Katniss, and Carver can only fit into one. Carver squeezes Finnick's arm and the man soothes her with a kiss on the temple.
"I'll see you soon." He whispers before following after the drunken mentor.
Carver follows Finnick anxiously with her eyes as she's loaded into the first motorcade of the procession. The military vehicle starts up without a second to waste and begins to speed through the countryside of wheat fields. Men, women, and children are harvesting in the fields, copious amounts of Peacekeepers watching them with guns in their hands.
Effie and Eloise shuffle through their purses, both of them grabbing a stack of flashcards. "The mayor will do the talking. You three just need to say a few words." Effie explains as Eloise runs through the checklist on the clipboard. Carver gazes out the window as the scenery changes from fields to highway. "It's customary to offer a brief eulogy to the fallen Tributes. For Eleven that means Thresh and Rue." She says with reluctance, knowing that Katniss and Carver were close with the twelve-year-old.
Eloise hands the three tributes their separate flash cards, "Here are your speeches."
Katniss looks slightly alarmed at the thought of speaking about Rue while Carver stares blankly at the paper in her hands. She hasn't talked about Rue with anyone other than Finnick. Peeta notices their bothered expressions, "I'll do the talking, if you guys want." He offers kindly.
Carver shoots him a grateful look, "Thank you." She says, linking their hands together.
Peeta nods, squeezing her hand in response. When Carver looks away from the blonde, she notices Eloise sending her a warning look. Carver sighs, slowly pulling her hand from Peeta's. The one thing keeping her distance from the District Twelve Tributes helped was her impulsive romantic behavior with Peeta. Now that they've been reunited, that behavior seems to be rising once more.
The door to their transportation vehicle swings open, revealing some not so peaceful Peacekeepers. One of them grabs Carver's arm roughly and pulls her out of the vehicle. As soon as her feet hit the ground, she pulls her arm out of his hand and begins to softly rub her forearm. Katniss and Peeta are pulled out after her, followed by Eloise and Effie. They aren't allowed to say anything to one another before being shoved towards a door that leads into the Justice Building. The only solace Carver finds is hearing Finnick's voice sounding behind her as he tries to push forward to catch up with his previous Tribute.
"Let me through!" He demands aggressively.
"Finnick!" Haymitch's scolding voice stops him.
Carver stops moving and turns for a moment. She sees him looking slightly distressed and she puts her hand up slightly to get his attention. Finnick's eyes follow the hand in the air and it leads to the smaller frame of the woman he's looking for. She sends him a small smile, no teeth, but the calming look in her eyes deescalates the situation.
"Let's go." A grumpy Peacekeeper shoves Carver forward.
She gruffs loudly as she's placed in front of a large set of French Doors. They can hear the Mayor's muffled voice amplifying his message outside to the masses. The doors open slowly with a loud creak and that's when the Mayor steps off the veranda, introducing the three Tributes approaching.
"Katniss Everdeen, Peeta Mellark, and Carver Callisto!"
The Panem Anthem begins to play as Effie and Eloise rush the three Victors out to face the audience. "Smile, smile, wave, wave, wave... We're so excited to be here." Eloise reminds, speaking through her teeth.
Carver, Katniss, and Peeta emerge from behind the doors, waving and smiling like pros. The crowd applauds respectfully, not out of happiness or celebration, but out of fear. Slow-motion footage of Thresh and Rue is projected onto huge screens above their families who stand on pedestals in the audience. Carver feels her breath hitch seeing Rue's innocent face staring back at her. Her mother and siblings stare at her, grief and heartache the only thing present on their faces. Carver doesn't even bother to hide the sadness in her own expression. Her facade may work in the Capitol, but not here. They don't need cocky Carver. They need the real Carver.
"Thank you." Peeta's voice echoes through the air as he takes over for Katniss and Carver. "We are honored to be with you today, and with the families of your fallen Tributes." Peeta hates how robotic the flash cards make him sound. When he looks at the emotional faces of the fallen, he knows what he has to do. He puts the cards away and looks back out to the crowd, "And though they fought and lived honorably and with dignity to the very end, Thresh and Rue were so young..."
The crowd nods along with Peeta's words. Thresh's grandmother and mother hug each other as small sobs tremble from their lips. Carver never knew the boy, but it was clear that his family has been in absolute despair without him. It's hard for her to even look at Rue's mother as tears flow freely down her cheeks as she holds her babies tightly. They lost her sister.
"But our lives aren't just measured in years, but in the way we touch the lives of those around us. For me," He looks at the girls next to him. "For Katniss and Carver. We both know that without Thresh and Rue we wouldn't be standing here today." Impressed murmurs surge through the crowd at his generous words, urging him to continue. "In recognition of that, and knowing that it can in no way make up for your loss, we would like to donate one month of our winnings to the families of the two fallen Tributes every year, for the rest of our lives." He announces with a confident nod. "Thank you."
The applause that happens this time is out of surprise and heartfelt gratitude for Victor's kind words. Peeta steps away from the podium, indicating that the three of them are going to leave. Carver wishes she could say something, but her mind is blank. All she can see in her head is the memories she has of Rue. No words come to mind, just how she feels about her late friend.
The mayor goes to escort them off stage, but Katniss seems to have different plans. She grabs Carver's hand, and pulls her up to the microphone with her. Carver watches the girl in shock, not expecting her to say anything, but is eternally grateful that she found the courage Carver couldn't find.
Katniss takes a deep breath, "I– I just wanted to say: We didn't know Thresh. We didn't have the opportunity to speak with him, but by just looking at him, I know he was a kind soul. A good and honorable person." She states, voice trembling as her eyes travel over to Rue's broken family. She sniffles, "Carver and I did know Rue." Rue's mother sends her a smile that can't quite reach her eyes. "She was not just an ally, she– she was our friend, and she will be with us for the rest of our days." Tears begin to form behind Carver's eyes as Katniss becomes more emotional, "I see her in the flowers that grow in the meadow by my house. I hear her in Mockingjay's song. I see her in my sister, Prim." Carver looks down at her feet, trying to hide the way her lips purse in agony. "She was too young, too gentle…" Katniss's head shakes with hate. Her own cheeks are now damp from the tears, "I'm sorry."
She steps away from the microphone stand and Carver squeezes her hand. Things felt almost like they did before. Silence envelops the crowd for a moment before a brave elderly man whistles the four-note melody Rue, Katniss, and Carver used to communicate in the arena. He raises his arm, doing the three-finger salute. The rest of the audience follows suit making Carver and Katniss look around speechless. The moment is cut short as a phalanx of Peacekeepers wade into the crowd. The batons they hold are now fully out in an attack position. Everything erupts into chaos as people try to flee and cry loudly. People are shoved to the side, fear overtaking all of them as the Peacekeepers grab the older man who initiated the salute.
Katniss and Carver watch horrified as they drag the man to the stage. "Stop!" Katniss screams, trying to reach the man. "Leave him alone! Leave him alone!"
Carver goes to follow after her, but is quickly stopped by two uniformed arms grabbing her roughly. She tries to pull her limbs from their grasp, kicking and yelling at them to let her go. The Peacekeepers throw her through the French Doors, and her body collides harshly with the ground. The woman tries to push herself off the ground, but regrets it as she turns around to see a pistol being held to the man's head. A loud shot rings out as the large doors close, preventing them from watching the man die in front of them.
Her breathing stops. A loud ringing sounds in her ears as she stares directly at the door, jaw slack. Everything seems to go in slow motion from that point on. Katniss frantically moves around, screaming and crying. Panic is evident as she seems to beg Haymitch for something. Effie is pacing back and forth with Eloise trying to calm her down. Peeta places his hands on his head, clearly trying to process what happened. Carver simply rocks back and forth on the floor, not having the strength to do anything else.
Her hearing only returns when Finnick's face appears in front of her. He crouches down to her level and places his hands gently on the side of her face. He rubs soothing circles on her cheeks as he tries to coax her out of shock. "Carv, can you hear me?" He asks softly. "I'm right here."
The ringing dulls and she nods slowly. "I'm gonna help you up, okay?" He warns her as he puts his hands on her waist and effortlessly lifts her up. She feels wobbly, but Finnick's strong arm keeps her up.
"Shut up." Haymitch instructs Katniss as he guides her and Peeta upstairs, Carver following with Finnick's support. Haymitch rips off Katniss and Peeta's microphones as Finnick takes off Carver's. They both get rid of them as they stop in an empty room, further away from the action downstairs. The room is filled with broken furniture, old books, neglected weapons, and a thick layer of dust dancing around.
Finnick gently sets Carver down on a broken piece of furniture, not even bothering to acknowledge Peeta or Katniss. "You three have a very simple task!" Haymitch chastises as he turns to look at them.
"I didn't mean for anyone to get killed." Katniss says shakily as she cries. "He has to know that."
Haymitch furrows his eyebrows, "What are you talking about? Who has to know what?"
"Snow. He came to see me." The distraught girl answers. This statement catches Carver's attention as her cloudy eyes glare at Katniss. She never told her anything about Snow visiting her. "He's worried about rebellion in the Districts. He thinks that they don't believe our love story." She reveals with heavy breaths.
"You know Katniss, you should've told me that before I went out there and tried to give these people the money!" Peeta snaps.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do. He threatened to kill my family." She explains desperately.
"He came to see you." Carver's angry voice croaks out. "Are you kidding me?" She raises her voice while finding the strength to stand on her own.
"Carver–" Finnick tries to stop her.
"I risked being heard by the Peacekeepers on that train telling you what happened!" Carver seethes, getting closer to Katniss. "I put everyone I love in danger by being honest with you! And you didn't even have the common courtesy to let me know he came for you too?!"
"You told her?" Finnick asks cautiously,
"I told her why I had to ignore them." Carver reveals. "Because I thought the only way to make it up to her was to tell the truth." She scoffs, hurt filling her chest. "But clearly I should've kept my mouth shut. 'Cause apparently the only lives Katniss cares about are hers and her families."
"We all have family!" Peeta exclaims. "People we need to protect!"
"What about them?" Haymitch interrupts, pointing outside. "Who protects them?" He sighs, pushing a strand of his hair out of his eyes. "Katniss, what were you thinking?"
"I was thinking about Rue!" She says before moving closer to her mentor. "Haymitch, please–please just help me get through this trip. Please just help us get through this."
"This trip? Girl, wake up." Haymitch snaps his fingers to prove a point. "This trip doesn't end when you get back home. You never get off this train." He reveals, giving her a cold dose of reality.
"We're mentors now." Carver speaks up numbly, still angry at the fact she was honest for no reason. "Which means every year, they're gonna broadcast your fake little romance and pick and prod at every single stupid detail for their entertainment. Your private life is now theirs."
Haymitch nods, "From now on, your job is to be a distraction so people forget about what the real problems are."
The gravity of the situation finally seems to hit the two younger Victors. Peeta looks at Haymitch worried, "So what do we do?"
"You're gonna smile. You're gonna read the cards Effie and Eloise give you. And you're gonna live happily ever after."
✯¸.•'*¨'*•✿ ✿•*'¨*'•.¸✯
Traveling through the following Districts was nothing short of tortuous. Reciting the void words Effie and Eloise wrote chipped away at Carver's soul until her mind stopped processing the words that came out of her mouth. Many of the Districts shouted profanities when Carver walked onto the stage, condemning her for the actions she committed in the games. They threw plenty of derogatory names, hating her for taking the lives of their beloved children. She couldn't blame them. If she were in their position, she would hate her too. It's difficult keeping up a confident persona when she wishes ninety-eight percent of the time she died in the arena.
The other two percent of the time is when she's with Finnick and her family. They provide her with a specific sense of comfort that makes her feel as if her survival was worth it. That she was worth it. The brunette finds herself staring at the ceiling more often than sleeping. Her mind is in a constant state of motion, moving almost as speedily as the train she occupies. After one particularly rough night in District Seven where the crowd erupted into a riot upon seeing Carver's face, she found herself wandering around the train in order to avoid being alone in a confined space. They had cursed her name, thrown things, and said she deserved to die. They wouldn't calm down until Carver left the stage, leaving Katniss and Peeta to handle the speeches on their own.
She stared out the window blankly, hoping she could somehow picture herself running across the rolling hills that they were passing. That perhaps she could imagine some sort of freedom. The wind blowing through her hair like a gentle kiss from Mother Nature, her heart beating quickly as she runs far away from her problems in search of something one might call peace. Her eyes are closed, enjoying the serenity of the darkness and the low buzz of the air conditioner running on the train. Her mind stilled for a blissful moment until the sound of the car door sliding open pulled her out of the daze she was in.
"Shouldn't you be in bed?" Finnick's gentle voice, the one that he only seems to reserve for her calls out.
She sighs, "I should be." She nods, crossing her arms as a sudden rush of chills envelops her form. It isn't until now that Carver realizes she's only covered in a thin lavender lace top with matching shorts that barely reach mid-thigh. She feels exposed. While he has seen her in revealing clothing before due to being in the Capitol, none of it ever made her feel this vulnerable. "But I didn't see a point in just restlessly turning in my bed, so."
"Yeah." He shoves his hands into the sweatpants that fit his legs perfectly as he approaches her. "I stopped by your room and noticed you weren't there, so I figured you'd be wandering around."
His blonde hair is completely disheveled, but not in a messy way. His beauty is absolutely effortless, and it's no wonder why every woman in the Capitol, hell in the Districts, is in love with him. The moonlight captures his tall frame perfectly, accentuating his perfectly sharp jawline, and highlighting his sea-green eyes. The way he looks is almost angelic and Carver envies the power he holds over everyone he comes into contact with. She feels herself losing her footing the closer he gets to her. They've been friends since she emerged from the arena, so she's never understood why he affects her like this. She refuses to believe she's under the same spell every Capitol woman is, but would it really be so bad if she was?
"Did you have a nightmare?" He asks tentatively, worry filling his irises.
Carver's chest warms at his genuine concern. She shakes her head in response, "No. I mean, not technically at least." She breathes out. "I feel like I kinda lived one today. I didn't need to go to sleep to feel the guilt and terror, my real life can do that for me."
Finnick sighs, "You know what they were saying isn't true, right?" He reminds her. "I know you feel like it is and my words can't change that, but you don't deserve to die."
"How can you say that when you don't even believe it about yourself?" Carver quips back.
Finnick mentally stumbles, knowing she's right. It's only been over half a year and she seems to know him better than he'd like to admit. "I don't know." He answers honestly. "I don't think that feeling of wanting to exchange your life for theirs will ever go away." He admits, reaching forward to pull the younger woman into his chest. "But I do know it gets easier when you have people assuring you that you mean something."
Carver allows herself to be held by her friend. She finds comfort in the rhythmic beating of his heart. It reassures her that he's still here. That he's real. He allows his head to rest on top of hers and she slowly finds herself becoming drowsy in his embrace. Finnick smiles satisfied, "I can feel you drooling on my chest." He teases. "It's time for bed."
"I don't wanna." She whines, holding him tighter.
"Carv." He chuckles, remembering how she got this way when he awoke her for their arrival in Twelve. "Come on. I'll lay with you until you fall asleep."
With that, Carver reluctantly obeys. Finnick takes her back to her bedroom and helps her climb under the covers. He laughs when she doesn't lie down, clearly waiting for him to take the space beside her. He does what's expected and crawls in next to her. His body rests against the backboard and he gestures for her to lay on his lap. The brunette smoothly lays down, but instead of resting on his legs, she chooses his chest as her spot of comfort. Finnick accepts the change in destination and delicately plays with her hair, running his hands through it and tugging at the strands in a relaxing manner. It wasn't long before Carver was lulled off into a peaceful sleep. One without dreams or nightmares. Just a completely blank and relaxed mind.
For the following nights, Carver just imagined the sensation of Finnick's strong hands running through her hair, and sleep came much easier. It was not as deep as it was when Finnick was there, but she is happy that she got some sort of rest. Regrettably, the rest she had been experiencing the past three days was cut short the minute the train pulled into District Four. Carver might have been a Victor, but they still suffered the loss of a Tribute.
The drill was the same as it was for every other stop. Eloise gave Carver her cards, and Effie gave Peeta and Katniss theirs. They travel to the Justice Building waiting for their grand introduction. The three of them walk out on stage and allow Peeta to speak first as always. The only thing different this time was that Carver was the one who could not control her emotions in front of the crowd. Even in District Eleven, she didn't bother to speak, knowing she would break. But here, it's different. She knows the people of Four. She can see her father and brother waving at her from the audience. She watches as Ryder's single mother of four, previously five, stares at her with endless anguish. Here, she has to speak. It would be a disservice to Ryder's memory if she didn't.
"As I'm sure most of you know, Ryder Milwaukee was my Tribute partner." Carver begins. "He was a brave and kind individual who I grew to care about tremendously." The brunette's lip begins to quiver as she continues looking at his lifelike face on the screen above his family. "He fought valiantly and brought honor to the people of Four. His memory will live on in us forever." She recites the language from the cards, and as the eighteen-year-old is about to step back from the microphone stand, she watches his youngest sister break down in a fit of sobs.
"She killed him!" The young girl screams out as she clings to her mother. "She killed Bubba!"
Carver's eyes water as the image of Ryder's dead body fills her mind. With a trembling hand, she grabs the microphone again, "I'm sorry." She breathes out. "I'm so sorry. I know nothing I say can take away your pain, but I hope this helps in some sort of way." She sniffles. "During the games when he was dying, I asked him what I was going to tell his family. And he told me to tell you that he died fighting for the right cause." Tears are now flowing freely down her cheeks. Katniss and Peeta are on either side of her, both of them taking her hands in theirs. "That he tried to make the games mean something." She looks his mother directly in the eye, "I promise, there is not a day that goes by where I don't think about him. Where I wish that I could exchange my life for his. I'm sorry I took him from you, and I thank you for raising such a wonderful, sarcastic, and beautiful soul."
Peeta lightly pulls Carver away from the mic stand and towards the large doors of the Justice Building. Ryder's mother holds her youngest daughter who is still crying profusely in her arms. The older woman looks at Carver with a tearful glance, she doesn't smile or wave, but she simply nods in her direction. She doesn't know if it's out of forgiveness or tolerance, but the screams emerging from his little sister are now burned into her memory. The three Victors are escorted back to the train and Carver immediately bunkers down in her room, wilting like a dying flower from the sympathetic stares she receives from Haymitch, Effie, and Eloise.
Peeta and Katniss try to reach out and pull her from her misery, but proceed to be left in silence outside her door. Night falls as the train speeds down the tracks on their way to the next District. Carver doesn't emerge from her room at all and ignores every request for her to come out and eat or converse. She buries her head in her pillows and tries her hardest to sleep off the sorrow that fills her heart.
Eventually, her body decompresses the longer she remains in bed. Sleep seems to find her tired form, but she's not sure how long she remains unconscious since her eyes shoot open while it's still dark in her room. She looks over to the digital alarm clock and notices the time is slightly blurred. She rubs her eyelids to try and clear her vision, but it doesn't seem to improve. The axe-wielding woman chalks it up to her exhaustion and ignores the issue.
She sits up, moving her legs off the side of the bed to stand up. She wobbly gets out of her bed and goes to turn the door handle to escape the small space. She is thrown off when she hears the sound of some shuffling coming from the dining car. She doesn't know what time it is, but judging by the lack of light it's no time to be snacking.
Carver silently enters the car and an eerie feeling fills her chest as she sees a tiny body seemingly stuffing their face with sweets. She stops in her tracks, not understanding how a child could've gotten on the train. Unless they snuck on, but that meant being able to get past the multitudes of Peacekeepers. Even the most sly individuals couldn't accomplish that.
The brunette tilts her head, trying to make out who the child could be. The shadows seem to be at the perfect angle, hiding the individual's distinctive features. Carver tilts her head, "Hello?" She calls out, her voice coming off as an almost distant echo.
"I was wondering when you were gonna come!" A cheery voice emerges from the little girl in front of Carver.
The child turns around causing Carver to stumble back with a strangled gasp. "Rue?!" She whispers, not believing the sight in front of her.
"Carver!" The young girl squeals before running towards the taller brunette, pulling her into a tight hug. For a moment, everything feels right. Rue is here. She's not dead. Carver embraces the young girl, keeping her close to her body. The hug lasts for a long period of time, but Carver finds herself in slight discomfort. As if something sharp is poking her abdomen.
She pulls away from Rue only to be met with the bloody sight of Marvel's spear sticking out of her stomach. Rue's face has fallen from its cheery smile to a numb expression. Her deep brown eyes look up at Carver who is now on the verge of hyperventilating. "You did this to me." The young girl blames her. "I'm dead because of you."
Carver rapidly shakes her head, "No. No, no. I– I didn't– I didn't kill you."
"Yes, you did." Rue insists, advancing on the now eighteen-year-old.
Carver turns around, sprinting towards the exit door but is quickly stopped by a large form colliding with her own. "Where do you think you're going?" Ryder's voice stops her with a menacing tone.
Blood drips from his lips as Carver's knife is still deeply embedded in his chest. An evil grin tugs at his lips, "Did you really think you could get away with what you did?" He asks, his blue eyes stone cold. "With killing me and leaving Rue to die?" He laughs maniacally. "You're the reason why our families are suffering. Everything is your fault." He advances on her, poking her chest roughly.
Sobs wrack Carver's body as she tries to find an escape from Ryder and Rue. "Iâ€"I told them I was sorry!" She tries to justify. "I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to." Her words come out desperate almost as if she's trying to cling to some form of sanity.
"Sorry?" Ryder narrows his eyes. "Sorry doesn't change the fact that we're dead!" He screams. "You got out! You don't get to say sorry!"
"I trusted you, Carver." Rue's face is suddenly streaked with tears. "You said you were going to protect me."
"You said we were a team!" Ryder yells.
"You said you wouldn't leave me."
"You promised to stick to the alliance!"
"You let Marvel kill me."
"You drove a knife into my chest!"
"You didn't even say goodbye."
"YOU LEFT MY BODY IN THAT ARENA!"
Ryder and Rue hit Carver with two opposing sides. One with anger and the other with heartbreak. Both are emotionally, mentally, and physically damaging. "Please stop." She begs as she backs herself into a wall. The two people she once thought were deceased continue to prowl closer. Before she can even register what is happening, Ryder is surging forward and wrapping his hands tightly around her neck.
A loud scream rips through Carver's vocal chords as she thrashes around. Her mind doesn't fully comprehend the door to her room opening as she throws the covers off of her now sweaty body. She continues to scream out in pain until her body is covered by a form much larger than her own. Ocean water and cedar fills her nose and that's when her mind wanes off of high alert.
Her chest spasms in sync with her sobs as Finnick holds her body close to his. He whispers sweet nothings into her ears that for a moment she can't even register. His heart is beating almost as fast as hers, solicitude filling his body at the sound of her pleas for help. He thought something terrible was happening to her. That maybe someone snuck into her room or she managed to harm herself. As soon as he heard her gut wrenching yells, he ran to her as fast as he could.
"I'm right here." He soothes. "I'm not going anywhere. You're safe. No one's gonna hurt you."
After a few more minutes of Carver trying to calm herself, she finally finds the strength to speak. Small hiccups echo in her throat as her scratchy voice comes to light, "Just a nightmare." She manages to croak out.
Finnick nods in understanding, "I know. I get 'em too."
Carver buries herself deeper in his chest as she continues to cry softly. "Do you want me to stay?" He asks softly.
Without hesitation Carver nods. Finnick takes her shaking frame and lays down on the pillows beneath him, keeping her body on top of his. He spells random words on her back in a soothing pattern to ease her out of the state of panic she's in. From that night on, Finnick found himself sleeping in Carver's bed until they reached the Capitol. Protecting her from the nightmares that try to slink their way in.