|<You didn't wish me good night>
It's from Minho.|
I read the text and I'm like: WHAT.
He was awake.
I stare at the text, not knowing what to do. Should I answer? How?
Is he still angry at me? But it didn't look like it before...
But before I could do anything, he sends me another text.
<I mean, let me rephrase it. I see you don't care about me. You could have at least wished me goodnight.>
Huh? Is he on drugs?
<What? I just thought you were sleeping.> I reply.
He sees the message immediately and I see him typing.
<But even when you were at my house, you said goodnight to me, thinking I was sleeping. Plus, you're not denying the fact that you don't care about me>
What the heck- He is cornering me.
It's weird to admit that I care about him. Very weird.
But yes, the truth is that I care about him, more than I ever thought I would.
I just don't know to tell him this. He did, he confessed to me earlier. He told me things that I still have a hard time believing and process.
I mean, Minho likes me? It would make more sense if it was all a dream. I don't know if I'd prefer to suddenly wake up in that bed where Minho placed me before eating the cake.
I resume from my thoughts and I decide to answer his text.
<Please. I need time to think about this. It happened so quickly and I need to reflect on my feelings. I don't want to make the same mistake I made with Hyunjin. I hope you understand> I hesitate a few seconds before finally sending the text.
He reads it but doesn't reply soon after. I sigh and I stand up from the bed. I lead to the bathroom.
My appearance is horrible. I look like I've not been sleeping for days.
I also observe the little hickey that Minho left me. I caress it lightly, renewing memories. My heart aches.
I take a quick shower and then I put on my pyjamas. Now I'm more comfortable.
I lie back on the bed and pick up the phone I left on the pillow.
Minho left a few texts. I click on them and I slolwy read them.
<Am I a possible mistake for you?>
My heart clenches reading that.
<If you need time, that's fine, but don't talk to me until you've decided. I don't want you to give me useless hopes.>
My eyebrows frown more and more each word I read.
Then there is the last message.
<I'm not blaming you but you shouldn't blame me either. I know I've done some horrible things to you and I hope I can make it up to you. But please don't base your judgment on that alone. That evening, I really listened to your words. I didn't just listen to them, I absorbed them and I'm trying to make use of them. I wasn't joking when I said that with you, I feel like I can be a better person. I just have to give myself a chance. All my life, I have been labelled as the bad one, the one who enjoys destroying other people's happiness. At first, I hated being seen like that, but as time went by, I thought that if everyone said it, maybe I really was. I convinced myself that I was like that and I found a way to make myself respected even if it meant intimidating others. Or at least until I met you. I would be lying if I said it was love at first sight. Initially, to me, you were just a loser like everyone else. But I realized I was wrong when you started defending your honour and your image despite having everyone against you. Everyone considered you a lame loser but you managed to prove them otherwise. You did something that I wasn't capable of years ago.
Instead of giving in to the image others saw of you, you had the strength to resist. I have to admit that that bothered me a lot. I had become jealous of you. But after you spoke to me, I realized that I am not who others tried to make me believe.
But then my pride was too great to admit that you were right. And I was wrong for the second time. It was around that time that my mind was occupied with you and only you.
But you had just started a relationship with Hyunjin and I didn't want to hinder your happiness even if I felt bad about it.
But when today, at the party, you came to me crying, I couldn't resist anymore. I've given up trying to act like I don't give a damn about you.
I felt it was my turn to help you.
When my lips finally kissed yours, I reached the peak of happiness. I couldn't prove it to you but I hope it was the same for you. But then I remembered that you were drunk.
My heart broke but I hoped that despite your lack of clarity, you wanted it as much as I did.
I don't know why I'm telling you all this, normally I wouldn't.
I'll probably wake up tomorrow morning and be so embarrassed I won't even want to wake up.
Then, goodnight, I guess.>
Maybe because I'm drunk or maybe because I'm tired or who knows what, but now I'm moved.
Knowing his point of view completely changes my thoughts.
I just stare at the text, re-reading it a lot of times. Minho never fails to surprise and impress me.
This also kind of explains why that morning Minho muttered "Hyunjin-ah I'm sorry".
Now, his actions make a lot more sense. But I don't know if they are justified.
With trembling fingers, I reply with just a <Goodnight>.
I'm just speechless. I guess that it's confirmed that I like him.
I don't know how it happened. It just did.
But I just want to be more sure about it.
That's better for the both of us.
Breaking up with Hyunjin was already painful, I don't want to feel even worse.
I then place the phone on the night table and I fall asleep.
//time skip to Monday//
(Eunbi started school on Tuesday and the party was on Friday)
The weekend passed normally. I did my homework and did some art.
I texted with Yeji and Felix and did some group calls with Bangchan too.
But I haven't received any messages from Minho.
He told me to not speak with him until I've made up my mind. And I guess I agree with him but I can't help but kind of miss him.
Saturday morning, I woke up with a huge headache and I had to rest until the afternoon. I didn't know hangovers would be so devastating.
I hope the others were alright.
Now it's Monday morning and I'm walking to school.
In the first hours I have to attend P.E. class. I'm actually excited because I like that subject.
Once I arrive in front of the school, I met with Felix and Yeji. We greet and we head inside.
Instead of going inside of a classroom, we lead to the changing rooms. We have to change into the gym clothes.
Me and Yeji enter the girls changing room and Felix goes to the boys one.
But I feel my heart drop when in the changing room I see both Lisa and Mina. They still didn't notice me so I lower my head and I walk past them.
Unfortunately, they recognise me and scoff.
Yeji probably understood the situation, so she grabs my wrist and leads me to our lockers, getting away from them.
Even if I'm embarassed, I have to change the uniform. So I slolwy start to unbutton my shirt and I quickly put on the gym hoodie. I do the same with the skirt and the sweatpants.
After I was done and the changing room was almost empty, I hear their annoying voices.
<I see you've finally lost weight over the years. But seeing you like this, I understand that the problem wasn't your body, but your face.> Mina states, chuckling with Lisa.
They dare to say it in front of Yeji, they have not learned from the suspension.
<Yah, speak for yourself and don't bother us.> Yeji says, quickly taking my defences. That's so cute for her to do but I need to be able to defend myself.
I look at Yeji with a weak smile.
<I'll take care of this> I whisper to her and she slightly nods.
I then switch my attention to Mina and Lisa. They are glaring at us from head to toe.
So irritating.
<Listen, I don't know why you have nothing better to do than pick on me for years. Wouldn't it be easier for you to stop and behave like civilized people? What do you gain by targeting people who have done nothing wrong? Maybe your huge ego doesn't let you see how much you are despised by the people here.
Or maybe you do this because it's the only way to feel superior to someone. I believe you have the ability to be noticed in a positive way too. Don't you think about how simple your life would be if you tried to make friends and stopped acting like bullies? What's so funny about ruining other people's lives?
Adolescence is a very delicate period for a person, everything that happens in that period of time will influence his life definitively. It's a serious matter. But this is not only for the victim, the bullies will also find themselves forever faced with that image of them. And you will regret it unless you are a psychopaths. Since it doesn't look like the case, I tell you that you still have time to change your future.
This probably doesn't mean that everyone will forgive you but at least you demonstrate that you have a minimum of maturity and awareness.> I say, with a serious and calm voice. I finally let out everything I wanted to tell them for years.
They are looking at me with eyes widened, like if I just said that I saw aliens.
Yeji is smiling and she softly holds my hand in a supportive way.
<Uh... whatever. I'm not going to listen to a loser like you.> Mina then says, with a weird grimace.
Lisa agrees nodding. <Expecially if the one speaking is a hoe> she adds.
I feel Yeji's hand immediately tightening around mine.
My eye also twitches. I tried to be rational and contained. They are really testing my patience.
<And why would you call me like that?> I slolwy ask, faking a smile.
<You fooled Hyunjin and then you broke his heart. And you even have the courage to ask us why> Mina says shrugging.
What.
How.
I turn pale, wordless.
<What do you mean?> Yeji asks, raising an eyebrow. Her hand is not leaving mine.
<Girl, rumors spread like viruses.> Lisa shrugs.
<Yes but that's not true> I say and they laugh like witches.
<True or not, it doesn't matter. Someone hear Hyunjin crying out loud Froday night about your break up. People enjoy to make things worse to make them more entertaining. Nobody cates if it's true or not as long as they have something to gossip about. You should wake up and see the reality of society. I shouldn't be the one to tell you.> Mina says with an acid tone.
I just stay silent, not knowing what to say.
I hate that she is right. That's the society and I can't do anything about it.
<You took too long, you're not worth it> Lisa then says and they both walk away leaving me and Yeji alone in the changing room.
Yeji sighs and then hugs me.
I also take a deep breath and I hug her back.
Without saying anything, we head to the school gym. It's huge and usually more than one class uses it.
As we enter, I notice that the other class it's Hyunjin's and consequently also Minho's.
I try to spot him with my eyes. I miss him. It hurts to admit but it's true.
A smile instinctively pops on my face when I see him playing basketball with his classmates.
He looks so good with his gym clothes and with a headband on.
I end up staring at him from the side of the basketball court. My lesson hasn't started yet because the teacher is late.
A loud whistle stops the match and everyone heads towards the benches, mostly to drink.
Minho walks towards me and the moment we make eye contact, I panick and I wave at him, smiling awkwardly.
But my heart sank when he just ignores me, walking past me to get his water bottle.
>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<
Author's note
Here there is a new chapter. Sorry for making y'all wait. I hope you enjoyed this.
I plan to end this story with 40 chapters. I'm kind of bonded with this book being my first ff.
I'll miss for sure writing this :')
Also the next ff is going to be about Bangchan :)
I'll start it once I finish DTMH.
As always, leave a star, a comment and follow me :))
Also thank you for 1.3k reads!!
it means a lot to me.
See youu