6:50 - Observatory Rooftop
56 Cretan Days to Landing
Kari Z-64
"Why are you buttering your croissant?" I wrinkle my nose in disgust as Kassia, who is sitting across from me, is trying to enjoy her breakfast.
"What's wrong with putting butter on my croissant?" she asks innocently.
"Croissants are literally made of flakes of butter piled on top of each other," I tell her, my voice filled with displeasure. "Why are you slathering another layer of butter on butter?"
She stares at me with wide eyes as she slowly and silently brings the buttered croissant towards her, and bites off half of it. She attempts to finish chewing it just as slowly and silently, but she bursts into laughter and chokes on it. Rina automatically hands her a glass of water, and Kassia swallows it down before lying down on the ground, feigning death.
"That's what happens when you sin," I say.
Rina gives me a look of disapproval, which is basically her resting face, and shakes her head, turning her attention back towards her own breakfast.
The three of us are currently having a picnic on the rooftop before the second test, but it's hard for me to eat. I didn't think I would be so nervous, but after the last round where I uselessly passed out, I'm especially stressed out. Even though everyone else in Z-64 doesn't blame me, I can't help but feel awful.
I'm scared of how invested I am in this exam.
I want to make a contribution today. I can't be unneeded. I'm afraid of being dead weight.
My food stands untouched in front of me. There's a slice of whole wheat toast holding a sunny side up egg, and next to it is a bowl of fruit salad, consisting of ananabs and sour strawberries. In an attempt to not look out of the ordinary, I stab a strawberry and bring it towards me, but as soon as I catch a whiff of its sickeningly fruity scent, I feel like gagging. My stomach, which is currently empty, seems to burn, and as I become more conscious of how nervous I am, my heart starts beating faster.
When it comes to the word 'expectation', a lot of things have changed since the first round.
Although it wasn't broadcasted, the rumour mill started turning as soon as someone caught wind of the way we blew up a wall. All of a sudden, people I don't know and don't want to know have been walking up to me and congratulating me on Z-64's success.
Not only do I feel like I deserve none of it because I did nothing, I also get angry.
The other Psychology Specialists have started talking about me, despite previously ignoring my existence completely. But I can feel that they aren't really trying to get to know me; they just want to be able to say that they know me. There's a huge difference.
I feel such a mesh of negative emotions about it all that I can't think straight.
"Are you going to eat that?" Kassia asks me, gesturing at my fruit salad.
"No, take it."
Rina reaches over and puts her hand on my forehead. "Do you feel sick? You haven't had an appetite since the first round. Should we head to the Med Bay for a checkup?"
She noticed that I was feeling off. I feel at once overwhelmingly happy and sad, but instead I say, "I'm fine."
Kassia leans over, holding a fork impaling a strawberry, and waves it in front of me.
"Eat, or you won't have any energy," she states strictly. "If you don't feel sick, then eat."
I glare at her, grumbling. "I'm not hungry."
"It doesn't matter if you're hungry or not. You need energy," she insists stubbornly. Why is she so annoying? I can't tell her that if I take a bite out of anything I'll probably throw up over the side of the rooftop.
"Kassia's right," Rina nods her head. "You should have about 400 grams of fruit per day, since you're still growing."
"At least I hope you're still growing," Kassia quips. "Or you'll be short forever."
I lightly hit her shoulder with the back of my hand. "Fine, fine, I'll eat."
I grab the fork from her and stuff it in my mouth. I hold my breath as I chew, then swallow it down. By the time I'm finished, there's another strawberry being waved in front of my face. I yield and eat that one as well. Soon, I'm finished the entire bowl of fruit salad.
Kassia smiles and pats my head when I'm done, much to my annoyance. Then, she and Rina start rolling up the blankets on the ground and placing all the empty plates on a tray.
Before we go, Rina folds the egg into the toast and stuffs it in my face.
"Okay, let's drop this stuff off at home base then head to the Arena Hall for check-in," Kassia stretches and slings the blankets over her shoulder before getting onto her hoverboard.
She rides over the edge of the rooftop, looks around to check if the coast is clear, then drops down, her ponytail flying vertically upwards. Rina follows her carrying the tray of plates and cutlery. I finish eating the bread before I accompany them.
As we ride back to home base, I realize that the nervousness I was possessed by earlier has mostly disappeared. I still feel it tapping at the back of my head, but it's died down considerably.
Lance swings the door open for us, straight out of the refresher with wet hair and the fragrance of soap. I help Rina put everything back where it belongs, then the four of us wait for Xander to get ready so we can leave for the Arena Hall.
"What is he doing in there?" I point at the refresher door after 20 minutes.
"Hair," Lance and Rina chorus in a monotone. Kassia nods her head in assent from the couch, where she is currently scrolling through the Xiole Forum with terrible posture.
I give her a look of exasperation.
She shows me some memes.
Finally, the hero emerges into the common area, his hair looking exactly as it did when he first woke up. As he walks towards us, I tell him this. He looks crestfallen.
Kassia shamelessly cackles, whereas Lance and Rina cover their mouths in an attempt to hide their laughter. Xander looks at me with wounded eyes, and I do feel an ounce of sympathy for his wasted effort.
Finally, with his hair done, we're able to arrive at the Arena Hall.
---
There are two other teams here: R-22 and Y-26.
I instantly recognize Aristina Y-26, since we're both in psychology, but also because she's famous in our section for being very pretty. She has a heart-shaped face, clear blue eyes, and long honey brown hair. She also walks with this sort of ethereal air and speaks in a pleasant voice.
Kassia goes still at the sight of her, but when I call her name, she breaks into a smile and asks me what's wrong. I'm about to ask her why she suddenly zoned out, when Aristina is joined by her crewmate Jaune. Complement to his name, he is also donning a bright yellow Y-26 jacket.
Suddenly, the doors to the Arena Hall open. I smirk when I see Xander flinch beside me, but before I can call him out on it, Dione and Milo step out.
Dione's pink hair has started to fade a little at the roots, revealing her natural dark hair color. "Good morning R-22, Y-26, and Z-64. Are you ready for the second round of the Games?" she asks. We all unenthusiastically cheer. There's some lingering animosity after the deadliness of the first round.
"Today's challenge will be something a little different," Milo gives us finger guns, which has now become his signature move, and used as a symbol by citizens far and wide when imitating him. "Our future leaders must prove their skills in collaboration, so for today, you will work with members of other home bases."
My heart drops. I hate people.
Well, not exactly people. I don't hate people as a concept, but I dislike putting in the effort to get people to be agreeable. It's incredibly tiring, draining, and most importantly it's boring.
But Kari, you promised yourself you wouldn't be dead weight. Redeem yourself! I must partake in dealing with people to help Z-64 (and function as a normal part of this society, I guess).
"Now, the three home bases will be rearranged to form three new groups," Dione says. "Milo will announce the team assignments."
Milo gives us a dazzling smile that makes me want to die knowing he has my fate in his hands. "In Team One, we have Casei R-22, Kari Z-64"—oh great, that's me—"Kassia Z-64"—I breathe a sigh of relief—"Aristina Y-26, and Jaune Y-26."
There's a confused smatter of clapping from R-22, which confuses me. What are we clapping for?
I meet Aristina's eyes, and it seems we're both thinking the same thing. There are two Psychology Specialists on this team, and by definition of our trade, we're relatively useless in these kinds of physically strenuous examinations.
Great.
Milo finishes listing the reformed teams.
"Last but not least," Dione adds, '"This test will be broadcast on the Xiole Forum, so be on your best behaviour if you want a high score!"
"We'll see you in 20 minutes. Good luck, folks!"
----
The cubes are back.
Before we start, we have to don space suits with oxygen tanks. I don't have a good feeling about this.
"It's nice to meet you guys!" Kassia smiles at our group members. "I'm Kassia, and I specialize in computer science. This is Kari, and she's in psychology. We really look forward to working with you!"
Aristina returns the smile as she introduces herself and Jaune, who specializes in food manufacturing. Then the boy from R-22 introduces himself as Casei, a specialist in cuisine.
So our team has two psychologists, two foodies, and one computer scientist. It's not looking very good for us, unless our challenge is psychoanalyzing people then cooking a meal for them.
Kassia makes small talk with Jaune and Aristina as they get their spacesuits ready, so I'm left with Casei.
Okay, Kari. Talk to this person. You need to have good chemistry or else it'll be hard to face the challenge.
"Hey, you're Casei right?"
"Yeah, and you're Kari? It's nice to meet you."
He's polite.
"How have you been adjusting to the ship so far?" I ask.
I'm shocked at how my voice changes, adopting a sweet and bouncy tilt. As opposed to my usual monotone, this one shapes my lips into a smile. It's the voice of my past self.
I shake off the strange feeling in my chest to continue our conversation smoothly.
I compliment him whenever there's a good opportunity, but not too frequently so he thinks that I'm buttering him up. Most importantly, I look at him frequently, but not always. While he talks, I keep my head turned towards the boots I'm buckling up, but slowly move my eyes back towards him as if he's enthralling me just by existing and I can't bear to look away because I find his existence oh-so captivating.
I can tell it works. He looks flustered every time we "accidentally" make eye contact.
"You two done?" Kassia slings her arm around my shoulder and my past self retreats back into the shadows of my mind.
"Yeah," I swat her away.
"We've got two minutes until the challenge begins," Aristina pipes up from behind.
"Are you nervous?" Kassia asks her.
"Well, a little bit, since we have to work with you guys."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I glare at her.
"She's just joking, Kari!" Kassia puts her hands up as if surrendering.
"Not very funny," I mutter.
"Yes, it was just a joke, sorry."
"Just because you bat your eyes at me prettily doesn't mean it's suddenly fine. Everyone else might be kissing your feet because you happen to have been born with acceptable bone structure, but it doesn't work on me."
"What—"
"Shocked to see that your pretty privilege doesn't work on everyone?"
"Kari!" Kassia shouts.
"What?" I'm just speaking my mind, but her reaction makes me feel ill. Why is she looking at me like that? Is she disappointed in me...?
"Wow, Kari Z-64. I knew you were cold, but I didn't know you were rude as well." Aristina bites on her lower lip with so much force, it looks like she's about to bleed. Her hands are curled into fists, and her eyes are wounded.
I feel a pang of guilt, so forceful it knocks the wind out of me, but I say nothing.
There's no way she was unaware of the soft power she held over everyone on this ship, and if she didn't, then isn't it her fault for being ignorant?
All I did was point out something that was true. She has pretty privilege. It doesn't work on me. Why is she so hurt?
Kassia cuts through my thoughts with jittery words.
"Rude? No, she's not usually—well, she is, but she doesn't mean it like that—"
Why is it that Kassia is defending me?
How did I put her in this kind of position?
I was just being honest. I was living in the way I wanted to. So why do I feel like I've done something wrong?
Milo interrupts us. His voice booms from overhead. Kassia and Aristina fall silent.
"Alright, teams! In a few moments, the artificial gravity in the Arena Hall will pause and you will be floating mid-air."
I know Kassia's eyes are on me, but for some reason, I can't bring myself to look at her.
Focus on Milo's words, Kari. You're about to go into the fray. You don't have the liberty to be questioning yourself like this. Sort it out afterwards.
"Your goal is to get inside your Competition Cube. Over time, however, your oxygen supply will slowly decrease, and once it hits zero, you will be immobilized through paralysis. Find a way to get all of your crew members back into the Competition Cube within twenty minutes, or you will fail the challenge."
This sounds terrible.
Casei gives me a distraught look as Dione starts speaking, "There's no way of knowing how much oxygen you have. Only when you have hit zero and become immobilized will you know. Best of luck!"
Three seconds later, the gravity generator in the room is shut down, and we all start floating upwards.
"So what's our game plan?" Jaune asks.
"Well, there are two main objective I can think of off the top of my head," Kassia replies. "First, we need to find the entrance to the Competition Cube. Second, we need to do something about the lack of gravity."
"It'll be easier for us to work if we restore it," Aristina agrees. "We can split into two groups. Jaune and I can take the Competition Cube since last time we were the ones who found the exit. Casei, do you want to join us or look for the gravity generator?"
She's composed herself again. It's almost as if the earlier tousle didn't happen.
"I'll join Kari and Kassia."
Thus, the five of us split up. There are ridges on the walls for us to grab onto, so we move our bodies towards the nearest wall. I help Casei by giving him a little push.
Then, I hear Kassia say over the intercom, "Oh-oh my god! On our helmet holoscreens, it tells you the gravitational force in the area you're standing on, so if we float around the room and find where the gravitational force is strongest, since it's still receding, we'll be able to pinpoint the location of the generator."
"Kassia, I hate to admit it, but sometimes you're actually very smart."
I hear her offended "Hey!" but chuckle to myself and start shifting along the walls.
Casei, Kassia and I shout out the numbers that we get, which are in the 2-4 range, until I hear Casei say, "It's 6.5 here!"
Kassia and I propel ourselves off of our respective walls to where Casei is.
"Oh, there's totally a panel here," she pats the wall with her gloved hands slowly. Suddenly, one of her wall-pats activates a tiny holoscreen. Just as she's about to re-enable the gravity generator, she suddenly freezes.
"Kassia? Kassia, what's wrong?!"
The words "OXYGEN LOW" flash over her helmet. I almost start panicking before I pull myself back to reality. "Casei, try and get the generator running again while I try and see if I can transfer some oxygen to Kassia."
"No, let's not do that."
"What?! What do you mean?!"
"It's a lost cause. Remember, once we're out of oxygen we're paralyzed."
I'm annoyed at the fact that he's right, but then my brain starts piecing something together.
"What time is it?" I ask, thinking aloud.
Casei replies, "It's been a bit more than 5 minutes—oh! Does this mean every 5 minutes another one of us will be immobilized?"
"Probably," I say, still holding on to Kassia. "Either way, we have to work quickly then, before most of us are all gone."
I turn my attention to the gravity generator holoscreen and groan. "This will be hard without our computer scientist, but I'll try. Can you tell Y-26 about Kassia's death and this 5-minute thing?"
I can tell he doesn't like being ordered around by me, because he's silent for a while before saying, "Fine."
He floats away, giving me some much needed peace and quiet to focus on the task at hand. The control panel is formatted like all of the holoscreens on this ship, so I quickly find the menu. When I try to drag the generator from 'OFF' to 'ON,' the screen requests a 9-digit password.
"W-w-what the... JEEZ!" I shout in frustration.
I try DIONEMILO, XIOLESHIP, and other relevant combinations of words frantically, before a hint pops up: 'There are 3 letters and 6 numbers!"
I grumble in confusion.
The gravitational force in the area lessens more and more, and my legs begin rising above my head as time passes by.
"3 letters, 6 numbers," I mutter, then catch sight of the number Y-26 printed on the side of Aristina's spacesuit.
"You're kidding me," I continue my soliloquy and type into the screen R22Y26Z64. The words 'CONFIRMED' pop up on screen, and I breathe a sigh of relief as I feel my body slowly lower onto the ground.
Then I remember Kassia is unconscious, currently floating on her back in the middle of the room. I swim towards her and help her down, before joining the others near the Competition Cube.
Aristina greets me, as if she's lost all memory of our earlier encounter.
"Nice work," she forces a smile.
"Thank you," I reply. My throat feels parched. "Unexpected from Z-64 right?"
Her expression darkens. "I was just giving you a compliment. Was that necessary?"
"Was what necessary? I was just asking you a question."
"Do you hate me or something?"
"No, I don't. Do you have something against honesty?"
Her eyes are bent into irritation. "You can think whatever you want of me. I'll think whatever I want of you." She wants to end our conversation there, but the next words spill out. "Do you know that you're an awful person to be around?"
I flinch.
"You constantly look down on the other psychologists and refuse to collaborate with us. You're ungrateful when they try to get to know you—"
"You think they're trying to get to know me? Genuinely? All they're interested in is our performance in the Xiole Examination."
"What's wrong with that?"
"They don't care about me."
"Because you don't care about them, and I feel bad for Kassia, having to deal with a teammate like you constantly putting others down."
"Putting others down?" I'm enraged at the mention of Kassia's name. "All I said was that you can't get away with everything because you're pretty."
"You don't know anything about me. You don't know how much I've suffered because of my looks—"
"I really don't. I can't even imagine how they could have disadvantaged you."
"How could a person like you be here, on this ship. You hide under the word of 'honesty', thinking that your honesty validates all the cruel things you say, but in reality, you're just self-centered and unempathetic."
Self-centered and unempathetic?
But I just—
Live how you want.
I've been braver—
Say what you want.
I've been more honest—
Be who you want.
Self-centered and unempathetic?
Is that really who I've become?
---
Aristina collapses before my thoughts can clear.
I check my watch: 10 minutes left.
"Oh my God!" Jaune shouts and tries to jump down from the top of the cube to help her.
"She's fine. Don't worry," I reassure him, my head suddenly swinging with nausea. "We need to focus on getting into this cube. It's the same one as before, so there has to be a trapdoor entrance leading into it."
Think about it later, Kari.
Later.
"They changed the layout of the cube," Casei informs me. "We already tried where the trapdoor was last time, but it isn't there."
"Wait, I found something!" Jaune waves at us. "I didn't see it before when the cube was floating up at an angle, but now that it's settled on the ground, there's the shape of a hand print right here."
"A trick of the light?" Casei mutters.
"Try putting your hand there?" I suggest.
Nothing happens.
"Could it be that it needs a specific handprint?" Casei postulates.
"This challenge is about collaboration. I don't think they'd pick only one of us to unlock the cube, would they?" I ask him.
"We're running out of time!" Jaune says. "1 minute until the next person is immobilized. Let's just get everyone up here to try."
"No, wait! Let's think about this," the words tumble out of my mouth. Calm down and think, Kari. Pull your weight. "Listen, the passcode to unlock the gravity generator was all of our team names combined. I think..." suddenly it comes to me, "Oh. Oh, okay, okay, okay. There are five faces of the cube now, right?"
"There are six face to a cube," Casei informs me.
"Now that it's on the ground, there are five exposed faces," Jaune replies.
"Right!" I exclaim. "What if there's a handprint on each side? I—"
"There's one here," Casei places his hand onto the cube.
"Kari, you're a genius!" Jaune whoops in excitement. He's about to get down from the top of the cube but I stop him.
"Wait, don't come down! With the gravity on again, you won't be able to get up there."
"Ah, true."
"Casei, help me drag Kassia and Aristina over to the walls."
He's about to take his hand away from the handprint when he's paralyzed. Luckily his hand stays in place.
I'm the only one left.
At 4 minutes and 18 seconds, I drag Kassia over to the nearest wall. A piece of hair falls in front of my face and starts tickling my nose. I bite onto it so it stops moving, then run back to get Aristina.
I'm at 3 minutes and 39 seconds. I drape Aristina over my shoulder, then trudge back to the cube. I place her down and put her hand to the cube.
2 minutes and 10 seconds. I run to the last face of the cube. As I shove my hand forward, the cube whirs. Right next to me, a square perimeter of light emerges. I push it forwards, revealing the entrance.
"Jaune, get down and help me get everyone inside the ship! Hurry!" I shout, frantic.
We're at 1 minute and 59 seconds.
Unlike me, Jaune is athletic, so he manages to grab both Aristina and Kassia at once and fling them inside the cube. I run towards Casei, but he's a lot heavier than he looks, and only manage to bring him about two meters away from where he was before.
At 48 seconds, Jaune runs back to help me grab him, and we haul him over. My heart is beating so loud I can hear it all through my suit. Will we make it in time? If Kassia and I fail here, that means that everyone else on Z-64 must succeed for us to pass the second round. At this point it isn't even the question of will we make it in time, but we HAVE to make it on time.
When we're only a couple of steps to the entrance at 30 seconds left, Jaune falls down, immobilized.
"You have got to be kidding me!" I screech, and drag both of them as quickly as I can. Sticky sweat runs down my arm as I try to pull both of them towards the door. My whole body is shaking and my head is pounding but there's nothing I can do but keep going. My head is counting down the seconds as I struggle to pull their weights.
Come on, come on, come on, Kari.
I focus all my energy into one last heave, and manage to pull them both into the cube with me. When I let go of their arms, the rebound causes me to fall and almost crush Aristina, who's lying on the ground under me. Luckily, her space suit absorbs the shock. Then the doors slide close.
"CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS!" a robotic voice says, cheering for us. My vision and head are swimming as I roll off of Aristina, and lie down like a starfish, staring up at the pitch black ceiling of the cube. All I can feel is relief. All I can't feel is my arms.
---
I lay there for a while, unmoving, even though I haven't been immobilized. Everywhere hurts.
Suddenly, there's a blinding light.
"Kassia, Kari, are you two okay?" I hear Lance's voice in the distance.
A firm hand pulls me up, and as I enter the light I see the face of my saviour, Rina.
"Thanks," I croak, my voice somehow hoarse even though my throat muscles were not the ones doing the heavy lifting.
"We're taking you and Kassia to the Med Bay, okay?" She takes the helmet off of my sweaty head and helps loosen the buckles on my suit. "Deep breaths. You really overexerted yourself."
Xander gives me a piggyback ride on his holoboard down to the Med Bay.
"Looks like you don't have the energy to make fun of me now, huh?"
"Shut up."
"I have so much power to drop you right now."
"You wouldn't..."
"Of course I wouldn't."
His voice is especially soft right now.
"You really carried, huh?" he asks.
"Yeah... I guess so."
"We're proud of you."
"Thanks."
I want to ask him, suddenly.
Do you think I'm cruel with my words? That I'm self-centered and unempathetic?
But isn't the opposite of how I am right now the misery my past-self carried? Saying what others want to say and disregarding my own feelings?
I'm scared.
I don't want to know his answer.
The way I've been living has made me content, at least up until now. I thought I was doing the right thing for myself. But the things Aristina said about me make me question everything.
What am I doing?
---
When I wake up again, I'm in the Med Bay. In front of me is a holoscreen, and behind that is Rina's focused expression.
"Oh, Kari. It looks like you partially tore your left bicep tendon."
"That doesn't sound good," I say weakly.
"No, you're fine," I can hear Rina shuffling around. "Other than your tear, everything else looks okay. You might feel sore right now—"
"I can't feel anything," I close my eyes.
"You can't?!"
"No... I mean, I can feel things. I was just being dramatic."
"Don't worry me like that!"
"Sorry." She's the only person on this ship who can so seamlessly pull an apology out of me.
"Apology accepted," she hums. "Now, I'm going to put a cast around your bicep. You need to wear it for 28 hours. Afterwards, you'll be fine."
"Oh boy."
"For the rest of your sores, I'd recommend this program that Yuna U-39 and Kiley B-04 are offering by the artificial hot springs, aptly called Physiotherapy by the Springs."
She places a cold jelly-like substance around my left arm. My eyes snap open at the contact.
"Wh-what is this?!" I ask her, trying to move my right hand up to touch it, but she firmly sets my hand down.
"It's the cast. Now don't move. This thing is terrible for us to apply," she struggles a bit before the jelly shapes around my arm and solidifies as much as jelly can solidify. "I injected a compound that quickens self-healing into it. This cast will apply pressure to your wound periodically, and it sometimes drops temperature to act as a sort of ice pack to ease the pain, so don't be shocked. It's not trying to kill you."
"Uh, okay," I mutter as she helps me sit up. That's when I realize how sore the rest of my body is from heavy-lifting growing teenage boys. Wait—growing?!
"Oh my god, will this stunt my growth?!" I yelp.
Rina looks at me like I'm crazy.
Xander bursts out into a cute laugh, hitting the wall with his fist.
"Absolutely not," Rina replies to me with wide eyes. "You're fine, Kari."
"Okay, good. God, I'm sore."
"Do you want me to take you to the hot springs now, then? Kassia told me you're terrible at directions—"
"She did?! Ugh, that sounds like something she would do," I grunt in frustration, throwing my hands up, then wincing in pain.
"But that's her way of showing she cares about you," Rina smiles knowingly.
"By insulting me?"
"By letting us know how we can help you."
Yet I made Kassia look at me like that. There's no mistaking it. She was disappointed.
Right on cue, Kassia bursts into the room. "Kari! Are you okay???" and I can hear the three question marks after her sentence.
"Yeah, she's fine. She just requires a prescription of the artificial hot springs."
"Doctor, doctor!" Kassia hops up and down, her ponytail swinging. "Can I get a prescription for the artificial hot springs too?"
"You don't need a prescription from me," Rina giggles.
Finally, Lance joins us, eyes wide. He stands at the entrance to the Med Bay, completely still.
"Did someone say hot springs?"