Chapter 10: Self Improvement
"We need to accept that we won't always make the right decisions, that we'll screw up royally sometimes-understanding that failure is not the opposite of success, it's part of success."
~ Arianna Huffington
A Cola wasn't enough to take the edge off. He needed something stronger. Maybe a couple shots of Patron or a double shot of Hennessy to take his mind off of her. Something to take away and ignore the sudden urges to go back to Rae's apartment and do things to her that he never imagined he would do to her when they met.
It was something about Rae that Levi couldn't place his finger on and he truly didn't want to decipher it. Definitely not his type, Rae was from a different world then what he was accustom to. The private jets and designer clothes was a lifestyle that he never wanted to be part of. It was never a dream to get out of the hood and become a suit and tie kind of guy. With millions in his bank account and women solely after those riches. He never wanted to live that life because he believed he would be to consume within himself. Like most of the rich people that he heard about.
His mother and father wasn't the best of parents. Money was something that they didn't have, but their bad choices in life was the main reason why they didn't. His mother turning to drugs after his father had left them when he was younger. Spending her last money on cocaine and LSD, they didn't have much growing up. Being in and out of rehab showed him that some people wasted their own lives. Julie allowed his father to take over her heart and mind. He controlled her emotions, her state of being in ways that Levi couldn't comprehend. Without his knowledge, his father was a puppet master fiddling the very strings that were connected to his mother.
His father leaving his family behind to start a new one was something that Levi couldn't see himself doing to his own family. Ultimately, he learned from their mistakes and through their rough dealings vowing never to become a product of them. He was going to be different and money wouldn't be the influence.
Levi was afraid in the beginning when he meet Rae. Every fiber in his being was alerted with signs that told him that she was going to be just like Julie.
Selfishness. Something he knew to much about and witnessed. But now as the days turned into weeks, he saw a new side of Rae. Taking the appropriate steps to becoming not a different person, but a better her. Yes, she had her days were she would revert back, but she also landed back from that cloud down to reality.
He had to clear his head of unadulterated thoughts of Rae. She was beginning to consume his mind. From the way she walked to even the way she savory her food when they went out. His emotions was telling him that he wanted her. How he wanted to kiss her full lips so bad whenever they were together. To bad, Levi didn't want to go down the route.
Closing the refrigerator door with his hip, he opened his beer with an opener. It was the only thing he had to ease his mind, before he rushed down to her apartment and regretted it later.
Not knowing what he was getting himself into, Levi tried to have an open mind about taking Rae to the elite party. A gathering filled with a bunch of snobs talking about their latest investments and how good life was wasn't the type of party that he wanted to go to. Instead, he volunteered without even concluding to the consequences of going. Getting dressed up in a tux and having Rae on his arm was a luxury to others, but Levi knew he would be out of his element. But it was for her.
A knock on his apartment door shook him out of his current thoughts. Maybe hanging out with the fellas from the neighborhood would stop his mind from wandering. He strolled over to the door and without look through the peephole he opened the door. As soon as he opened it, he wished that he had looked.
Dressed in dark blue denim jeans and a white T-shirt, Lil B forced his way into the small opening of the door. Levi shook his head at the boy and sighed. "Whaddup Levi," he said.
He wasn't in the mood to deal with Lil B and his antics. Whatever he wanted could wait another day. Energy was something that he didn't have at the moment and he knew that his visit could only mean one thing. Trouble.
"Have you seen Rae?" He asked.
"Yea, she's home getting ready for tomorrow," Levi explained. "Why?"
Lil B walked over to the window and peeked out. He did it every time as if he was hiding from someone. "I need to talk to her," he begun. "I don't think it such a good idea for her to go to the party. It's a setup."
Levi chuckled. "And how would you know that?" He asked. "You haven't met anyone from her circle."
"I meet that asshole a couple of days ago," he told him. "He's not a good dude and she needs to know that."
Levi agreed. He didn't trust Adam not one bit, but Rae was a grown woman and made her own decisions. Rae had to know what she was going into. She couldn't be blind and shouldn't think that the people who she use to know would just open their arms to her. This was another lesson that she had to learn. Not trusting every one. He thought Adam was trying to play her, but if he tried anything when he was with her or if he found out about it, it would be a done deal for him. Period
"So anyways, she single, I'm single," Lil B smirked changing the subject. "You think she'll say yea. I mean I'm a good kid."
"Exactly," Levi pointed out. "You're a kid. You should be chasing girls your own age."
Lil B took a step back and examined him. Sizing him up, he crossed his arms. "You want her for yourself," he said above a whisper.
Levi chuckled deeply, "What? That's ridiculous."
Lying would be a waste of time, but the last thing that Levi wanted was for Lil B to run and tell Rae how he felt. To be honest, he didn't know if what he felt about her was a phase and it would pass eventually, or if he really felt some type of way about her. At this point, it didn't matter. His feelings would stay to himself until he fully understood them.
"Where your dad at Lil man?" Levi asked, trying to not sound irritated.
"I dunno," he answered, shrugging his shoulders. "Somewhere on the block as usual."
He belly-flopped on the couch and reach for the remote to the TV. As if he was home, he flipped through multiple TV channels before he settled on. "Shouldn't you be at home doing homework or something."
"Completed it already," he said.
He didn't want to argue with the boy. At least he was in school and doing his homework versus following right behind his dad. Out in the streets, hustling and treating women like shit. If Lil B wanted to sit up in his house rather than dealing with that. That was totally fine with him.
It was times like this that she wished she was back at the Manor, but she had to push those thoughts to the back of her head once again. It was leaking all over the stair case and was bound to bust any second if she didn't get down to the back of the building tho throw it away.
Rae pushing the back door with her back and the cold breeze sent chills through her body. With a large slam, the heavy door closed shut as she used all her muscles to hustle. She got to the dumpster and opened it. The horrid smell hitting her nostrils strong. She tried not to gag, but to no avail couldn't contain herself.
"Jesus christ, someone needs to do something about this," she mumbled to herself.
Tossing the trash in the dumpster, she turned to walk back inside and into the warmth before she heard a loud groan, followed by what sounded like constant slapping noises.
Looking around, she saw nothing in particular, but when she turned to go back inside the building, the noise grew louder and persistent.
"Oh, yess. Harder!"
"Shut the fuck up," a deep voice snapped.
Rae stopped in her tracks. Looking around the dumpster she found the noise. Her eyes closed shut at what she wished she hadn't seen. With his jeans pooled around his ankles, Easy Dee thrusted vigorously inside of a woman. His back turned away from Rae, unaware of her presence and focused solely on his lover.
Rae couldn't tell who the woman was as her face was snuggled deeply inside his neck. Her legs wrapped tightly around his waist as she clawed at his back
"Ew, what the hell," Rae shouted.
Easy Dee was upset when he heard the voice that interrupted him. He snapped his head in her direction, but soon a smirked covered his face. He continued to pound into the woman relentlessly.
The woman's face snapped up at the sound of Rae's voice and she couldn't believe it. "Oh shit- stop Dee!" She shouted.
He huffed in annoyance and pulled out of her, placing her back on her feet. The woman tried to fix herself. From her untamed hair and her short skirt bundle around her wasit, she look ridiculous.
"Hey, there's enough of me to go around," he stared at Rae. His eyes staying too long on her breast and easing there way to other places on her body.
"I'm good," Rae said backing away from the two while crossing her arms over her chest.
"You more than good ma," he smirked coming closer to her.
The woman stepped in front of him, stood on her tippy toes to whisper in his ear. Rae didn't have time for this. She didn't like being eye raped by the man. He was a straight creep and it disgusted her how he could just have sex with a woman next to a dirty dumpster and flirt with another woman.
Before both of them had a chance to say anything else to her, she escaped back into the building and away from the unwanted chaos that was bound to begin.
Before she could securely lock her door, someone knock on her door. She huffed, opened it and laughed when she saw the person who stood before her.
"What you saw back there was nothing," LaKendria laughed.
"And what exactly did I see," Rae crossed her arms.
Frowning, LaKendria put her hand on her hip. "Nothing and Levi ain't gotta know what you saw,"
Rae shook her head and leaned against her door frame. "But I thought I saw nothing," she smirked, a perfectly arched eyebrow rose.
"Look girl. I'm just here to do a small favor for my boo Levi and if I gotta do this for him to make him happy I will," she said. "I ain't trying to be yo friend. Trust and believe I got other shit I would be doing. Let's get that out the way."
Rae looked her up and down and stepped to the side for her to enter her apartment."What you do is your business, not mine, but next time I advise you to do that in privacy and not lower you standards next to a dirty dumpster.
LaKendria smacked her lips while rolling her eyes. "How 'bout you just, one- mind your damn business, two- don't worry about me and three, don't judge."
Shaking her head in disbelief, Rae just followed her to the kitchen.
"Why do you need all of this?" She asked her, watching as she rolleg the luggage behind her. "I just need a quick press and curl and I'm good."
LaKendria took a good look at her hair. "No sweetheart," she said. "You need more than just a press and curl for that hair. Them eyebrows needs to be wax and your nails are terrible. When Levi told me who need my service, I just knew to bring my entire kit."
Mentally, Rae said a little prayer to God to give her the strength to deal with LaKendria.
Hours went by and Rae was getting fustrating. Sitting in the same spot for three hours, her butt was numb, she was about to lose her mind if LaKendria popped her gum in her ear one more time, and she was tired.
But she had to give the girl her props. She glanced down at her fingernails. A fresh new paint coated her real nails. She loved the color, a glittery gold. A manicure was what she needed a long time ago, but she was trying to do the adult thing a saved up. God knows it was hard.
Her eyebrows grew drastically and needed a good waxing. Now, they were perfectly arched. All that was left was for LaKendria to finish her hair, but it seemed like she was taking forever.
"How much longer LaKendria?" Rae huffed.
"This is a birds nest," she snapped. "Yo ass lucky I got through all this tangled hair without chopping this shit off. You ever heard of a brush or comb?"
"Knock knock," a deep voice suddenly said.
Frowning, Rae tried to look around the corner, but LaKendra popped her with her comb. "Don't move it's just my boo."
The comment made her roll her eyes.
It was then that the owner to of the voice came and around the coner. Levi. Dressed in a pair of light blue denim jeans and a navy blue polo, the simple outfit almost made Rae drool. He sported a freshly new hair cut and goatee. He finished his fresh look with a shiny gold watch on his left wrist and a pair of clean black Converse.
Finally she looked up, his golden brown eyes. He stared back her, his eyes filled with amazement as he took in the sight before her. But recovered quickly.
He coughed."You look beautiful," Levi said softly as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. " I mean, not like you didnt look beautiful before, but yea. You did good LaKendria."
"Thanks daddy," she flirted, rolling her curlers up and placing them in her bag. "Anything for you."
Rae rolled her eyes and sighed. It was about that time for her to leave. She didn't have to go home, but she had to get the hell up out of Rae's apartment. The way LaKendria glanced at Levi told her that the girl was nothing but trouble.
"As much as I hate to cut our little girlfriend bonding time short, I'm going to have to do just that," Rae said, pushing LaKendria to the door along with her things.
She shrugged away from her. "Oh girl don't push or touch," she said on her way out the door. "Don't nobody know where yo hands been."
"Thanks Lakendria," she shouted as she slammed the door behind her.
"How do you deal with her always coming on to you," Rae asked him. "That has to be annoying."
Closing the door, he walked towards her. "What's the real problem?" He questioned. "Jealous?"
Jealous
Staring at Levi, Rae shook her head. She didn't know why she asked. Remembering the first day she met him, he made it very clear that she wasn't his type and he would never find interest in him.
Asking about his personal life was no of her business. She didn't want to give him the wrong idea, but it was hard to control herself from asking. All she wanted to do was know him better. Rae considered them friends. If not why would he agree to take her to the Elite Party. Hell, it was his idea, not her's.
"No," she responded lightly. "Was just curious."
She walked back to the couch and sat down. Levi followed, giving her distance only to sit down on the arm of her small couch.
"I just came over to give you a little details before we leave tomorrow," he spoke. " So the party starts at 7. I'll pick you up at 10 so we can catch an early flight back to your home town."
Rae nodded. "Sounds good to me." He stared at her fingernails, rubbing around her cuticles.
Levi looked down at her and could feel that something was off. Normally, Rae was say something to get on his nerves, sometimes not intentionally. Or she would argue with him at least. Instead she agreed?
He got up from the couch and kneeled in front of her. "Hey wassup?" He asked softly. "What's wrong."
"Nothing," she mumbled.
He knew something was wrong. Levi reached over and squeezed her thigh. He was to late in realizing that the suddened touch was intimate.
"Come on," he urged her. "Tell me what's wrong?
Finally making eye contact will him she spoke, "I don't think it's such a good idea to go back. Maybe we should just cancel plans."
Oh. She was scared. The the short few weeks that he had come to get to know Rae, he realized one thing. She yearned for acceptance and fought against judgements. All her life she fitted into the category of the rich and the privilege and now that it was time to go back, she was nothing but less than that.
No longer was the woman dressed in Hermes clothing, but rather than in Old Navy. She wasn't as confident as she use to be, or did she always lack confidence while she hid behind her expensive lifestyle.
"Hey, Rae you don't have to worry about anything," he reminded her. "No one is going to treat you anything less than who you really are."
She said nothing as he continued. "A truly beautiful human being inside and out. You don't need the fancy shit to enhance all the good qualities you have. I'm gonna be there for you. Don't you trip alright?"
She gave him a small smile. Rae hope that he was right. The orginal plan was to get dolled up and show every one that despite her current financial situation, she was still on top of her game and it wasn't because anyone of them helped. How dumb was that theory?
It didn't matter if she was able to get back into the rich group or not. The fact still remained the goal was to be a better Rae. Not to revert back to her old ways and being snob once she got a taste of what she use to be.
She mentally told herself that she wouldn't do eveything in her power to not let that happen.